Heart Punch

I posted this over on the Gamefaqs PW board (Oh...fuck off. There can occasionally be some decent conversation. Very occasionally) and thought I should post it here as well. Not just so it won't get purged in a week or so, but I figured that some folks 'round these parts might dig the info as well. Perhaps even kick in a recap or something. *hint hint* At any rate, here's a list of wrestling promotions that have an online TV show of some sort. If you know of any others, please let me know and I'll edit the list. AWA (New Jersey) - http://www.awanj1.com/hotwired.html Championship Wrestling - http://www.championshipwrestlingtv.com/television.htm Irish Whip Wrestling - http://www.irishwhipwrestling.com/whiplashtv.html Jersey All Pro Wrestling - http://www.japw.net/eventcenter/worldwide.htm New England Championship Wrestling - http://www.necw.tv NWA Cyberspace - http://www.nwacyberspace.com/v2/shockwave/ NWA Main Event - http://www.nwame.com/video.html Pro Wrestling E

Hey, Matt made the opening credits! Can't knock the kickoff--this gets better? Now that--that's COOL! "Him & me?" "Okay, whoo, whatever." Way to clean the boards, JR. HBK calling someone an egomaniac is like someone calling Eva Longoria pug fugly. "Until he needs another payoff, he ain't coming back." This better get to Shelton. Shawn's oversell of his place on the ladder was a delight. It's the Human Remote Control Check! Cool Effect! WHOO! DOUBLE STRUT~! By the way, there's your Dream Team. I like Big Show coming out early to pop the crowds. Looking back at that sentence makes my eye twitch, but just the once. That double suplex spot is never going to get old. Two floors, going down. That WAS his fault. And it'll give Show something to do. F YOU CANDICE! F YOU WILSON! I dub thee PMS05! You know even Christy wouldn't be this stu--oh, who'm I kidding, she'd pick the Dolphins to win the AFC E

-Thought I'd amuse myself by posting an old recap from time to time. Just to see how they hold up. This one originally appeared on Rant Central. You know, back when my writing was somewhat interesting? That final sentence sure ends up being humorous in retrospect. WWF Smackdown! (4/5/01) -First things first. Happy birthday to us. Where else can you find Koala bears mixed with wrestling commentary? Or Jeff Hardy trying to make time with poor little Link? Not at any of those other fancy sites. Just us! *goofy thumbs up* -From the Myriad Convention Center in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. -Tonight! JR interviews Stone Cold and Triple H faces Chris Jericho for the Intercontinental Title. Wow. Even in the graphics for the match, Hunter dwarves poor, little, Y2J. Hell, it looks like Steph is taller. They could at least make him look impressive in the graphics. Kane & The Undertaker v. The Right to Censor (Steven, Bull & Goodfather) -- A match to start the show. I’m impressed. Even if

Oh, WCW, how I miss thee. Not because it's ironic to dig on crap, but because I was genuinely more into their product than I ever was WWF/E. Even at it's worst, I always watched Nitro live and taped Raw. At any rate, I was organizing tapes and found a bunch that were unlabeled, with me having no clue what treasures they held. Most of it was the ECW on TNN run, but there was also a bit of random WCW stuff on there. Some of it I might have already recapped, but who cares? Nostalgia has moved this to the top of my recapping list. It'll come in small chunks, though, simply because of my time constraints these days... WCW Thunder - Manchester, England - 11.15.00 We join this show in progress, as I apparently taped an episode of Angel (another show I miss, for what it's worth) over the start. Big Vito v. Reno - (JIP) - Just as we cut in, Vito delivers an elbow off the top for two. He plants Reno with a backdrop suplex and heads back up top. He can't get his footing and en

AGAINST : Why's Randy coming out for a gloat interview in his gear? FOR : Oh, it's a match. My mistake. AGAINST : "Masterful" use of a side headlock? Please, Cole. FOR : Holly blocking the RKO. FOR : Orton hooking the far leg on the cover after the second RKO. AGAINST : Bob Orton striking Randy's pose. AGAINST : This "network" guy seems a little shady to anyone else? FOR : I heart six-man tags. AGAINST : Are they trying to turn Christian face? FOR : Guess not. AGAINST : What's he done lately? He beat your ass at the Great American Bash, Christian! FOR : THANK YOU, Booker. FOR : Cole making sure the viewers know Booker wasn't necessarily helping Christian. AGAINST : "The greatest tag team in history?" Please. AGAINST : A Heidenreich match. FOR : This feud restarting. FOR : The double distraction. FOR : I thought Mercury was going for legdrop on Heidenreich. Nice misdirection. FOR : Benoit going all Beat The Clock on us. AGAINST : Co

Hi! I'm Rob T, you know me from...well, hell, hopefully you don't. Butch is picking up things we can't even name from strippers in Vegas right now, so I'm your special guest party host. I did do a couple of RAW recaps for the old, less-lazy OMG, so third time's the charm, right? Right? Recap of the Slam that is past - ooooh, Hulk and Shawn did the Hand Of Friendship. And on that note, we cue the music. WELCOME EVERYONE TO RAW, with J.R. Redmond, Royalty Perv, and The Coach on commentary. SEXY BOOY BOOOOY TOY. That's HBK, styling (but who picked out that tie? Seriously.) in the suited and ponytail look. Apparently, as much as he hates to admit it, last night, Hulk Hogan was the better man. Nimble. Quick. "Catch as catch can." THE VICIOUS LEGDROP. Okay, we're up to our watches in sarcasm now. But back to reality, Hogan's off until the next time he has something to promote, so let's...watch as Chris Masters interrupts? Someone shoot me now. Ma

Yes, I know how ghetto it is for me to be posting this after Summerslam, but it was pre-empted here until Saturday and I just now got to watch it. FOR: Face-painted Heidenreich in the opening. FOR: Benoit-Orton tonight! FOR: The ladder set up in the ring. FOR: Eddie cutting a babyface promo like a heel. AGAINST: Cole, you don't need to be saying things like that. FOR: Melina's top. "Sexy Girl", indeed. FOR: "You think they can freeze that thing off?" AGAINST: Why is the DOT sponsoring Smackdown? FOR: The comedy with Sharmell raking Mercury's eyes. AGAINST: Why's Booker doing the Spinarooni now? End the match, damn it! FOR: Ah. He's letting Sharmell get the last word in. AGAINST: Did Sharmell even leave her feet on that crossbody? FOR: The magic of editing. AGAINST: Didn't Sharmell see the replay? AGAINST: Orlando's trash talk. FOR: "I understand the WWE has an excellent retirement package." FOR: At least Can

Hey. I'm back. Again. Since WWE isn't interesting me much lately, I've been slacking on these here recaps. But it's a PPV edition. Five minutes of new content tops, and that's being generous. -Lilian interviews Kurt Angle. He calls Eugene a thief and promises to show him that he's, "the most vicious son of a bitch in the WWE." You go, Kurt. -Diva Search winner Ashley (or so the chyron so helpfully informs me) polls the crowd regarding the Hogan/HBK match. I ignore them. She's kinda cute by the way. Not so much so that I regret skipping every segment she's ever been part of, but still... -Ashley also elicits opinions from Mae Young and Moolah. The latter is picking Hogan and Mae goes with HBK. Somewhat lustfully so, might I add. *shudders* -Footage with Hogan and Cena from the Teen Choice awards. -Orlando Jordan promo. His hair is just CRAZY tonight. He's planning on knocking Chris Benoit out. Good luck with that. Hurricane (w/Super Stacy &a

Let us all rise for Pastor Shawn. Like they were going to start any other way. They're chanting something ; I can't make it out. HA! He's better than Fozzy. This would be a perfect time for the Hitmidget. Ah, well. No way. There's no way. I can not--WILL not--boo this man. If I were to do it, I'd have Bret jump him now. See? Too good. The man is too good. Oh, don't pull this on Shawn, he'll hold up the whole produ--see? Us deserved egomaniacs think alike. Gotta love Canadian crowds. A STFU chant. Evil Shawn should really get a run with the belt. Why would you want to be the next Christy Hemme? Oh, right, the money. Is Show defending the Who's More Grizzled title? DAMN. Is there some sort of mercy rule? Double your backdrop, double your chokeslam. Why hasn't the Show/Carlito thing carried over? This is the only time I can say this: listen to the pop for Rene Dupree. GET HIM, Kurt! Snap it! SNAP IT! I can't believe Kurt

FOR: Tazz: "There's a blemish next to me, that's you..." FOR: Jillian playing the "distract the referee" card at the beginning of the match. You don't often see that. FOR: Nick Patrick sending EVERYBODY backstage. AGAINST: The ladies' overacting. I especially don't need to hear Melina scream again ever, unless I'm causing it. HIYO FOR: Mercury trying the schoolboy for the cheap win again. It worked last week! FOR: It failing. FOR: Batista on the Peep Show. FOR: It's always about Christian, isn't it? FOR: I think Dave's got a new catchphrase. FOR: Batista using reverse psychology. AGAINST: The "again" was kinda mean, Dave. FOR: At least this show regularly acknowledges that it has tag team champions. Gotta move those DVDs! FOR: That actually lasted over three minutes. AGAINST: That actually lasted over three minutes. FOR: The EVIL~~ voice distortion. FOR: Orton's returning to action against "

So...yeah. The WWE product as of late has pretty much sapped my will as a wrestling fan. There's still a lot to like, but so much that makes me want to bang my head into the wall. The victim in all this is my Heat recap, which are being ignored. The show has gone to hell and I have no desire to even *watch* another Heart Breakers match, then yet comment on it. I'll try to have something up this weekend, even if it's the return of the random match recap. Necro/Joe isn't going to recap itself, you know. Here's a pic of Delirious and Claudio Castagnoli to tide you over...

These people better cheer Kurt--we're supposed to look out for our own. Give me a SHUT UP, bitch huge heel pop! Damn you people, go back to your shanties. Like Christy can spel newhey. There you go. That's RIGHT! Preach, Brother Kurt, preach! Speak about it! "Eugene sucks!" I love my hometown. That Angle=Greatness sign; you realize, even now, you could put out a pretty epic 3-DVD Angle set? And why the hell haven't they, now that I mention it? "LET'S GO ANGLE!" Why does everybody ram Eugene's head into the turnbuckle? That's his can of spinach. Get that skank off the apron! In the immortal word of Robert Novak, "Bullshit." Time to turn him from special to handicapped. My kingdom for a superkick. Right thing to do: it's 2 on 1! Poor Shelton. I seem to be saying that a lot lately. "You guys want a cigarette, or what?" He almost messed up a sidewalk slam! Mr. Wrestling II and DiBiase! JR's on

FOR: The "Peep Show!" Tremendous! FOR: "Who's your daddy?" OUCH. FOR: Eddie making Rey sweat it out. AGAINST: That's a little more than a blemish, Jillian. FOR: Well, at least she knows it's there. FOR: Nice to know the TelePrompter's working tonight. AGAINST: This promo -- it's just not all that good and I don't know what she was going for here. FOR: Booker's reaction. AGAINST: Do Mercury and Nitro go outside in those things? FOR: "It's 100 degrees in Bridgeport tonight and they're wearing fur coats." THANK YOU, Michael Cole. FOR: Tazz as amateur dermatologist. FOR: Nitro pulling Mercury out of the sharpshooter attempt. WHAT? : "She could've taken a piece of her face off and thrown it at Benoit." FOR: Benoit's armdrag counter out of the rear chinlock. FOR: The Crossface on the floor. Keeps the other man out of the ring. FOR: Multiple valet interference~~ AGAINST: The camera angle wh

Sweet retro Whale jersey. Welcome to RAW...Is...Jerrrrrrrrricho! Next week makes it a day short of six years. Finger quotes: the true sign of a dick. YOUNG M.C.ENA! Nice! Moi's up there, too. Monkeys in the truck~! Nice touch having him rush out with no music prompt. I think he'd rather ruck your authority than buck it, Eric. Double gold with no finisher? That...that's cool. Somebody get Shelton a back brace. This goes to prove what I've always known: gamblers love the Big Show. You're right, I've got nothing. Shelton is nuts for even thinking up a throw me to the top rope into a double springboard lariat spot, yet that's why he rules. SKILLET SKILLET SKILLET SKILLET. Show mocking Snitsky was funny. Someone should let Chris know after 1947 they continued to invent moves. Cobra clutch! Big Show just breaking it up is a great allusion to his mass. ASSISTED DRAGON WHIP! One floor--maybe two?, going down. The retarded leading the retarded.