Heart Punch

FOR: Post 300! AGAINST: A Kane/Khali rematch? AGAINST: "The V.I.P. Lounge"? AGAINST: A boxing match? AGAINST: Holyfield? It's clearly worse than I thought. For him, I mean. Seriously, is he broke? FOR: Matt: "You got a heart condition, all right. It's a lack of." AGAINST: Masters? We're off to a rollicking start. FOR: Clear the ring! FOR: Flair laughing when Stephanie told Vince that his kid's a WWE wrestler was secretly great. AGAINST: Peach, Vince? AGAINST: When are Jesse and Festus going to actually get to Smackdown? FOR: Cole: "I'm a bit Irish." AGAINST: Wait, so that was Cole as John Oates on WWE Idol? Good God. ( FOR: However, Maria bobbing her head in time while Volkoff sang the Russian anthem was tremendous.) FOR: They did a Morrison/Punk Summerslam ad? FOR: JBL on Finlay: "Hey, he grew up in Northern Ireland The place is famous for its beautiful barbed wire." FOR: Finlay throwing Noble into t...

AGAINST: Batista's not in sync with his pyro. FOR: Flair putting over Khali's Claw. AGAINST: Deunce n Domino's plan going awry. AGAINST: That wasn't very smart, Deuce. FOR: I think Khali actually said "Batista." AGAINST: We already saw this. FOR: Rey? AGAINST: Wait, that's clearly Chavo. FOR: JBL to Cole: " You fell for it." FOR: Chavo whiffing on the 619. FOR: Chavo as Rey, then Eugene as Chavo. AGAINST: The 330? FOR: Sterling Keenan? Hey, I've heard of him. AGAINST: I think they came back from the video a bit late. AGAINST: I still don't get the spit cup. AGAINST: "Necking", Cole? What is this, 1957? FOR: Oh, there's Michelle. AGAINST: "Life-threatening"? Cole said it was an outpatient procedure. FOR: JBL on maybe being Vince's illegitimate child: "That would be awesome!" Cole: "You're a 40-year-old man. You wouldn't get an allowance." FOR: Finlay selling th...

FOR: JBL on Teddy : "He's a hero to senior citizens everywhere." AGAINST: Of course it's on a Friday. AGAINST: This will end badly, of course. AGAINST: I was talking about the wedding, but Khali showing up works too. FOR: Hey, JBL was right. AGAINST: Aw, I thought Kane was coming out to make his case. FOR: Masters avoiding Kane's chokeslams. FOR: That flying clothesline counter into the Master Lock. AGAINST: Nate Nickerson? Nice hair, dude. FOR: Henry laughing at his handiwork. AGAINST: Vince is striking back? Against who? Did someone strike first? There's a leap in logic here that I can't quite accept. FOR: Korderas catching MVP cheating. Is that against traditional arm wrestling rules? AGAINST: He's taping up? FOR: Matt knocking the stress ball out of MVP's hand. FOR: Round 1 to Hardy. FOR: JBL on referee Jim Korderas: "He's either from Canada or from the NBA." FOR: MVP hooking Matt's leg with his left arm ...

So it's pretty much random thoughts week. Possibly the first recap I've ever done in real time, too. I'm getting bored with doing so much PBP, so I'm just easing up on that and monkeying around with other ideas. So, uhh...enjoy. -We're back to "This is Extreme" as our ECW theme. Does that mean we're back to the old shit? Did the new shit just not cut it? I'm confused and the mixed messages that WWE sends just make it that much worse. -Morrison is totally channeling Raven channeling Jim Morrison and that's actually better than one would imagine. A little less pop cultury than Raven ever was, but that's okay. Raven was never the Shamen of Sexy as far as I know, so Morrison is already one up on him in that department! -He calls out the greatest athlete in Arizona...Joey Ryan? "Freedom is found at the edge of the abyss," Morrison tells us. Ryan immediately has the best facial hair in WWE. Somewhere, a solitary tear is streaming down T...

It's done. Finally. Goddamn do I ever hate typing up long recaps. Which is precisely why I don't recap indy shows. It's the bulk of what I watch and I'd love to do it, but just thinking about all that typing makes my head hurt. Anyway, pack a lunch before you read this, as it's really friggin' long. Sorry about that! -Taped in the Manhattan Center, May 12, 2007. I've always liked the look of this building. It's where Raw was taped in the early days and it just comes across really well on tape. -Show opens with BJ Whitmer in the ring. Interesting choice. I don't know that I'd have put him out there as the first face on the first PPV, but that's why I'm writing this instead of booking ROH, I guess. He tells us that Ring of Honor lets the wrestling do the talking, then proceeds to talk anyway, throwing out an open challenge… -Opening montage with various clips of ROH in action. -That open challenge? Consider it accepted. By the ROH World cha...