Heart Punch

AGAINST: Tape delays. FOR: At least the Flyers had the decency to win. FOR: Benoit going on the attack first. FOR: Sharmell: "We need some help!" FOR: Benoit going for the tope and missing AGAIN. FOR: Tazz pointing out Benoit's use of the belly-to-belly suplex, a deviation from his normal method. AGAINST: No, Chris, not that corner. FOR: Huh. Sharmell didn't knock him off this time. FOR: Benoit's "dead weight" selling. FOR: This Rey/Show video package. AGAINST: Show's annoyance. "Why am I here?" FOR: Rey using Eddie's entrance. FOR: Not that it's difficult in this case, but Show's playing the heel role very well here. AGAINST: The ref bump. AGAINST: KANE?!?!? FOR: The look on Kane's face when he sees Taker. FOR: Kane bailing the fuck out. AGAINST: This is the longest ref bump ever. AGAINST: All right, this is officially a clusterfuck. AGAINST: A crowbar? That's the best you can do, Randy? FOR: All ...

Here is your LOOOOOOOOOOSER ...there's my n-word. Vince against firings? Did I take a right at Alburquerque or something? Goal: eat slice of cake. Goal: put on a match. Goal: kiss Trish. It's plenty easy. What about Shane? Wouldn't mind that so much. DAMN, I'M GOOD! You like that, huh? Can you feel it!? HUH!? VINCE DANCING~! Slap AND apple. AND the shirt choke! Das cool. Lungblower! That could be a finisher if he ever needed one. Nice spot since heels don't usually follow up skinning the cat--­¡PLANCHA! Cool brawl in the corner. They must be force-feeding "true grit" to Joey in the earpeace. That was the worst looking Savage elbow I've ever seen Shawn do; nice sell. CDT! Aww. Liked the ending, just not who went over. Vengeance was months ago, Kurt. Oh, right. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER! I like Bisch getting both of his problems together to minimize them. Oh, 150 seconds to the Cena run-in. Camel clutch! Meet the new scapegoat...Sha...

-Clips from last week's two hour special. -Monty Brown comes out. Blabbity, blabbity, gimme a title shot. Blabbity, blabbity, Pounce. Period. Jim Mitchell leads Abyss to the ring. They think he deserves a title shot more than Brown. Jeff Hardy is out. He growls into the camera. Okay then. Everyone brawls, until security steps in. -Commercials. We're back to the original Morphoplex spot. Gah. Dragon Quest 8 commercial. Gotta have it. I've played through the demo and it seems like it'll be fun. And challenging, which is my big knock against most new RPGs. They're just way too easy. At any rate, I haven't played a DQ game since the original. Crazy. X-Box 360? I'd never buy it for myself, but if anyone out there in Heart Punch land wants to buy me one, feel free! -Clips of the 6-man X-Division tag from last week. It's apparently leading to an "Elimination X" match at Genesis. Because big elimination tag matches done in November is innovative. It...

You know, my typical excuse for not bothering to do my recaps is my utter and complete laziness. I certainly wish that were the case this time. I've had two recaps sitting here for a week, just waiting to be typed up. No interest in doing anything wrestling related in the wake of Eddy's death, though. But, as the saying goes, the show must go on. I am planning on a series of recaps based on my favorite Eddy matches, because spreading the Eddy love (though most everyone who reads this already digs them some Eddy) can never be a bad thing. I have a 4 or 5 tape comp of pretty much everything he did in WWF/E from his debut all the way up until the Smackdown 6 days. Picked it up off of ebay a year or so ago on a lark. At this point, I'm really glad I did. Lots of really fun stuff to be found. This, I'm coming to realize, is the beauty of Eddy Guerrero as a worker. Stick him with *any* opponent, even guys who he should be stinking up the ring with, and you'll still end up...

The sudden death of popular WWE wrestler Eddie Guerrero left the world of wrestling in shock. No people more than the "smarks", the Internet fans like us for whom names like Guerrero and Benoit are measuring sticks for everything we love about Our Great Sport(tm Tony Schaivone.). Heart Punch writers have come together for the site's first collective effort, sharing a few KB of thoughts on the one man who could lie, cheat, and steal...and be a huge babyface doing it. ----- Shane Osman Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight. - R.W. Raymond What it is it that makes a man worthy of the mantle of "hero?" Is it simply an extension of fame? That he has been blessed with so much talent he basically transcends his chosen profession, turning it into an art form? Is it the fact that the same man, apparently at the top of the world, is all too human, willingly walking down the wrong path only ...

We here at Heart Punch wish to send our most sincere condolences to the family of Eddie Guerrero. Eddie was found dead in his hotel room in Minneapolis this morning. I, truly, have no words right now. For myself, and most of us here at Heart Punch, "Eddie Guerrero is my favorite wrestler" wasn't just something that appeared on a t-shirt a few years ago. There will be more on this as we let it sink in.

So, the first two hour TNA special has come and gone. Rating was a 0.9, which has to be considered a bit of a disappointment. The good news is that the show largely rocked. Let's get to it... -Show opens with a video package highlighting the evolution from the "old guard" of the company (showing clips of guys like Hogan, Sting & Savage) to the current TNA stars. Really well done. Even though it's also one of my complaints of the company, since they run the same packages over and over and over again, I have to say that overall they're doing a great job with these videos. Jeff Hardy, Lance Hoyt & Sabu v. The Diamonds in the Rough (Simon Diamond, Elix Skipper & David Young) - Matching gear for the Diamonds? Fuck yeah! When you can get an entire stable in matching gear, you've got my attention. I'm so easy to please these days. Diamond charges at the bell...directly into a goozle from Hoyt. He breaks free, but ends up taking a sideslam. Hoyt lines ...

FOR: THAT'S how you open a show. AGAINST: How is their music playing outside? AGAINST: Christian shouldn't still be in the credits, right? FOR: Oh. FOR: Christian isn't looking or acting like a guy who just quit. FOR: Cole and Tazz getting the brand rivalry over. FOR: Tazz "[Styles] owes me $150, but that's another story..." FOR: The super fallaway slam. FOR: Rey's counter to the second one. WOW: Now that's jobbing somebody out. FOR: Bischoff's here? Tonight? FOR: They're so proud of themselves. FOR: Booker T., Master Thespian. AGAINST: Booker and Sharmell's mock dancing. AGAINST: Why is Booker getting in the ref's face? There's nothing he can do about it. FOR: This match is picking up. FOR: Booker can't get out of there fast enough. FOR: Benoit's pissed. "BE A MAN!" AGAINST: Cole gets glory? FOR: Tazz: "No reaction. Okay." FOR: The shot of the belt around Bob's hand. AGAINST: ...

-We open the show with brief clips from Bound for Glory. The Jeff Hardy dive looked particularly nutty and I say that without even seeing how it landed, since those TNA sumbitches don't show us the money shot. Also, yay Rhino! It's nice of him to crush Jarrett like a gnat. I'm betting he won't stay crushed for long, though. Abyss (w/Jim Mitchell) v. Lance Hoyt - Watching the Forever Hardcore documentary has given me a new view on Mitchell. He seems like a really cool, if not decidedly intoxicated, guy. Also very smart, as he talks about he and Sandman's nights of debauchery...playing trivia? ECW, ECW! Oh shit, I'm taking a lawsuit for that. Anyway, a match is about to happen. A Lance Hoyt match, no less! Pay attention! Abyss charges at the bell, looking for a clothesline. Hoyt ducks it and starts laying in punches. Abyss reverses his whip and ends up selling a kick that missed by several miles. He comes back with a clothesline, but misses a legdrop. I dig Abyss ...