TNA iMPACT! 11.3.05 (part 2)

You know, my typical excuse for not bothering to do my recaps is my utter and complete laziness. I certainly wish that were the case this time. I've had two recaps sitting here for a week, just waiting to be typed up. No interest in doing anything wrestling related in the wake of Eddy's death, though. But, as the saying goes, the show must go on. I am planning on a series of recaps based on my favorite Eddy matches, because spreading the Eddy love (though most everyone who reads this already digs them some Eddy) can never be a bad thing.

I have a 4 or 5 tape comp of pretty much everything he did in WWF/E from his debut all the way up until the Smackdown 6 days. Picked it up off of ebay a year or so ago on a lark. At this point, I'm really glad I did. Lots of really fun stuff to be found. This, I'm coming to realize, is the beauty of Eddy Guerrero as a worker. Stick him with *any* opponent, even guys who he should be stinking up the ring with, and you'll still end up with something really fun and watchable, if not a technical clinic. Wow. I find myself continuing to type in the present tense when I talk about him. Guess it hasn't quite sunk in yet.

Now then, let me get back to the second half of the two hour TNA special. Not sure how much smartassery I can muster, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. We've still got Team 3D, an Ultimate X match and Jarrett/Rhino to come.

-AMW/Team 3D video package.

Team Canada (w/Scott D'Amore & A1) v. Team 3D -

Devon opens the match with Eric Young. There's much stalling by the latter, who seems to be terrified to even lockup. Actually, he tags out to Bobby Roode before we even get a lockup. He comes in swinging, nailing Devon with a series of forearms. Devon sends him into the ropes, but gets tackled. They run a crisscross sequence and now it's Devon's turn to tackle Roode. Team 3D ping pongs him back and forth with punches, with Devon following with a slam. He drops a leg and picks up a two count.

Roode cuts him off with a knee to the gut and makes the tag to Young. He sends Devon into the ropes, looking for a clothesline. Devon ducks it and connects with a back elbow for two. Tag to Brother Ray. He slams Young, drops three big elbows and gets another two count. Young shoves him into the corner, then uses the ref as distraction. He punches away at Ray, but it has no effect. Ray reverses him into the opposite corner. Young floats over, but is cut off by a chop. Suplex by Ray.

Young comes back with an eye rake. Roode comes in. Team Canada sets Ray up for a double backdrop, but Ray stops short. He kicks Young and tosses Roode to the floor. Slam to Young and Team 3D set up for the Wazzup headbutt. Roode recovers and shoves Devon off the top rope. Ray is distracted, allowing Young to nail him with a leg lariat.

-Commercials.

D'Amore and A1 are choking Devon in the ropes. Roode ends up suplexing him, then nails Ray as well. Tag to Young. Devon tries to mount a comeback, but Young stops him with a knee to the gut. Tag to Roode. He snapmares Devon and grabs a rear chinlock. Devon punches free. Roode bounces off of the ropes, but ends up charging into a powerslam. Young runs in, distracting the ref, who ends up missing the tag to Brother Ray.

As the ref tries to force him out, Team Canada doubles up on Devon. Young hits a jawbreaker and gets two. Tag to Roode. He slams Devon and makes a blind tag. Roode comes off the second rope with a kneedrop, followed by Young coming off the top with an elbow. Devon comes back, but takes an eye rake. Young tags Roode. Team Canada goes for a double clothesline, but Devon ducks it and takes both of them down instead.

Is it time for the hot tag? You betcha. Does Brother Ray clean house? You betcha. He whips Roode into Young in the corner and follows with a splash. He tosses Roode out and plants Young with a sideslam, picking up a nearfall. Young kicks him in the gut and goes for a whip. Ray counters with a neckbreaker. Cover by Ray. Roode tries to break it up with an elbow, but hits his partner by mistake.

Ray gives Roode a Samoan Drop, then spikes Young with a nice powerbomb. Holy crap! A new spot by the Dudz! My paint by numbers Dudleys match goggles are broken! This is the part of the match when everyone brawls. Young is dumped to the floor. Team 3D hit their backdrop suplex/neckbreaker combo on Roode.

They signal for that 3D move they like to use now and again, but A1 is on the apron, holding a hockey stick. BG James runs out and yanks him to the floor. In the confusion, Young attacks Devon in the ring. He goes for a whip, but it gets reversed. 3D? You betcha. Team 3D are your winners! (14:28)

-Commercials. I hope Morphoplex goes out of business and every person involved in the company ends up living in the streets. Stupid commercial. I'm annoyed even when I fast forward through them. I seem to have some rage issues.

-Ultimate X video package. If the official TNA drinking game stated that you chug when this video is shown, the entire fanbase would find themselves in a coma on a weekly basis. We get it...show something different.

Petey Williams (w/Scott D'Amore) v. Chris Sabin v. Matt Bentley (w/Traci Brooks) - Ultimate X -

Both faces jump Petey at the bell. Canadian bias! They end up getting into a shoving match over who gets to beat Petey down first, but agree to disagree by whipping him into the corner. Bentley whips Sabin in behind him and he connects with a forearm. But while Sabin's back is turned, Bentley starts climbing the scaffold. Sabin quickly yanks him down. They trade strikes, giving Petey a chance to recover. He dropkicks Sabin, then clotheslines Bentley over the top.

He starts up the scaffold, but Sabin charges in and dropkicks him in the back. His head is driven into the scaffold, where it gets stuck. Sabin tries to climb his back to boost himself to the wire, but Bentley cuts him off and takes him to the mat with a superplex. Petey frees himself and bails to the floor, once again laying the mack on Traci. She takes off, but gets cornered between Petey and D'Amore. Ick. She takes off up the scaffold. Petey moves in, but Bentley makes the save.

In the ring, Sabin is climbing. Bentley does as well and they start trading punches. Bentley takes charge and scores with a swinging neckbreaker off the top! He heads for the wire once again, but Petey stops him, tying him to the Tree of Woe. He stands on Bentley's junk and sings O, Canada. That's just mean. Bentley rolls onto the apron. Sabin jumps Petey and it's his turn to be tied to the Tree of Woe. Baseball slide dropkick connects. Crowd wants a second and Sabin happily obliges.

He starts up the scaffold, but Petey grabs his ankle. Sabin pulls him to the center of the ring and gives him a headbutt. He bounces off the ropes. Petey drops down and Sabin dives to the floor with a tope onto Bentley! Petey starts climbing, but Sabin cuts him off. Petey fires back and snaps Sabin's arm across the top rope. He bumps to the floor. Petey follows with a pescado, turning it into a 'rana on the floor!

-Commercials

Petey reaches the wire. Bentley grabs his legs and stretches him out, allowing Sabin to come off the ropes with a dropkick, causing Petey to drop. Bentley works Sabin over. He whips him to the corner and charges, but Sabin elevates him onto the apron. Bentley once again snaps Sabin's arm across the top rope. He climbs to the wire and actually reaches the X, pulling it halfway off before Petey cuts him off and powerbombs him toe the mat. Crowd chants "please don't fall" to the X. I fucking hate the TNA crowd more and more each week.

Petey starts up the scaffold, but Sabin cuts him off, giving him a Shuttle Loop Buster (German suplex where the guy taking it flips through and lands facefirst) off the top. Sorry, just needed to bust out that term one time. To show just how smart I am! S-M-R-T! Smart! Err...moving on. Bentley is on the wire. Sabin tries to grab him, but Bentley pulls his feet up and out of reach.

Petey charges, but Sabin kicks him. He lifts Petey for a powerbomb. Bentley comes off the wire with a dropkick on Petey, sending him into a 'rana on Sabin. That made little sense. What does Bentley have to gain from that, since he was only three feet from winning in the first place? He apparently realizes his mistake, as he geeks out and starts beating the piss out of Petey.

He goes for a tilt-a-whirl slam, but much like Kidman and powerbombs, it just can't happen. Petey lands on his feet and turns it into a Russian legsweep. He signals for the Canadian Destroyer. Bentley counters, looking for a corner whip. Petey reverses, sending him in chest first. He bounces off the ropes, but Bentley catches him with a superkick (which he now calls the Head-on Collision).

Sabin attacks Bentley, lifting him for the Cradle Shock. He slips away and goes for the superkick. Sabin catches the foot and this time the Cradle Shock works. He climbs to the wire, but can barely shimmy across as his arm is still injured from earlier. Petey yanks him straight down, directly into an inverted atomic drop. Canadian Destroyer follows!

Bentley is on the wire. D'Amore runs in to pull him down, but he pulls his feet up once again. Traci runs in, spearing D'Amore and rolling around on the mat with him in the ugliest catfight ever. Well, half of it was, anyway. Bentley and Petey are both on the wire. They trade kicks for a bit, until Petey finally lands a low blow that sends Bentley crashing to the mat. Petey grabs the X and picks up the win (and #1 contendership). (11:14 of 15:14 aired)

As much as I generally dislike the Ultimate X matches, I equally enjoy a well done spotfest. This fit the bill. Tons of fun. All three of these guys are underrated for various reasons, so it's nice to see them get a chance to go out and let it all hang out...

-Backstage, the rest of Team Canada is beating 3LK down with hockey sticks.

-Jarrett/Rhino is next!

-Commercials. Jarhead looks interesting. Really effective use of "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West in the trailer.

Jeff Jarrett v. Rhino - NWA Title -

Borash provides us with the extended, "this match is super important. NO REALLY!" introductions before we cut to break.

-Commercials. Devil's Rejects is out on DVD. Can't wait to see it.

Neither guy can get a real advantage at first. Rhino tackles Jarrett, who comes right back with a dropkick. Rhino kicks him in the gut and whips him into the corner. He goes for another whip. Jarrett reverses, taking him down with a drop toehold and adding a few Scott Hall-esque slaps to the back to the head. Rhino probably isn't the guy you want to do that to, Jeff. He starts strutting. Rhino pops up and starts punching away at him. He ducks a clothesline and press slams Jarrett.

Rhino signals for the Gore. Jarrett bails, with Rhino in hot pursuit. They brawl through the crowd for a bit, before making their way to the announce position. Rhino rams Jarrett's head into the table, grabs his belt and shoves it into Jarrett's face and starts talking shit to him. The man has some rage issues. He pulls a table from under the ring and sets it up at ringside. Jarrett jumps him from behind and rolls him back into the ring.

He sends Rhino into the corner, but walks into a back elbow. Time for the Rhinodriver? Gail is out, looking particularly minky. She climbs onto the apron, distracting Rhino. He spits on her. But the distraction is effective, as Jarrett shoves him off the top rope and to the floor. He drops Rhino across the rail, then distracts the ref so Gail can kick him in the ribs.

Back in the ring, Jarrett splashes him in the ropes. He slides to the floor and connects with an uppercut, Bossman style. He whips Rhino hard into the corner twice, then locks him in a bearhug. Rhino breaks free, but takes a knee to the gut. Jarrett covers and gets two. Rear chinlock by Jarrett. Rhino punches his way out.

Jarrett goes for a whip. Rhino shortarms, planting him with a TKO. Goddamn, is Gail ever hot tonight. Camera keeps focusing on her as she just pours out of her top. I approve! Jarrett reverses a whip, but Rhino rebounds off of the ropes with a flying clothesline. He follows with a back elbow, then whips Jarrett into the corner. Shoulderblock connects.

He whips Jarrett into the opposite corner. This time, though, his charge is cut off by a kick to the knee. Figure four by Jarrett. Rhino turns it over. Gail climbs up top, but misses a legdrop. Ref doesn't seem to notice and/or care. Rhino presses her, but Jarrett quickly rolls him up for a nearfall. He connects with a knee and rolls Rhino up again, using the ropes. This the ref sees, even though he's capable of missing a ridiculously hot girl prancing through the ring.

Jarrett argues with the ref, quite possibly about that last point, but turns around into a spinebuster. Cover gets two. Jarrett punches away at him, but Rhino pretty much shrugs it off and takes him over with a trapped arm belly to belly. Time for the Gore? Jarrett sidesteps. He goes for a whip. Rhino counters, looking for a shortarm clothesline. Jarrett ducks it. The ref does not. CUE THE OVERBOOKING!

Jarrett grabs his guitar. He swings, but Rhino ducks it and scores with the Gore. Hey! That rhymed! He covers, but the ref is still down. Rhino grabs the guitar, but here comes AMW! Jarrett low blows Rhino. AMW hit Rhino with the Death Sentence, putting him through the table Rhino set up earlier. They roll Rhino back in. Stroke. Pin. New Champion. Damn. (12:48)

Heels celebrate in the ring. Cut backstage, where we see Team 3D beaten down and bloodied.

I guess I can understand why they did the title switch this way, but it makes me no happier about the result. They had a chance to do something fresh, planned storyline be damned. If they were truly creative, working an alternate angle with Rhino as the champ shouldn't be too hard to work out. Instead, they follow the same path that they've been on for essentially two years now.

The 11.12 edition of Impact is forthcoming. I'm not quite halfway through typing it right now, so it'll hopefully show up later tonight or tomorrow at the latest.

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