TNA iMPACT! 11.12.05
-Clips from last week's two hour special.
-Monty Brown comes out. Blabbity, blabbity, gimme a title shot. Blabbity, blabbity, Pounce. Period. Jim Mitchell leads Abyss to the ring. They think he deserves a title shot more than Brown. Jeff Hardy is out. He growls into the camera. Okay then. Everyone brawls, until security steps in.
-Commercials. We're back to the original Morphoplex spot. Gah. Dragon Quest 8 commercial. Gotta have it. I've played through the demo and it seems like it'll be fun. And challenging, which is my big knock against most new RPGs. They're just way too easy. At any rate, I haven't played a DQ game since the original. Crazy. X-Box 360? I'd never buy it for myself, but if anyone out there in Heart Punch land wants to buy me one, feel free!
-Clips of the 6-man X-Division tag from last week. It's apparently leading to an "Elimination X" match at Genesis. Because big elimination tag matches done in November is innovative. It's the same six guys from last week plus Roderick Strong for the heels and Matt Bentley for the faces.
Samoa Joe v. Austin Aries -
Christopher Daniels joins us on commentary. Joe starts quickly, kicking Aries in the gut. He whips him into the corner and follows with a knee strike. A series of boot scrapes is followed by the Face Wash. He whips Aries into the corner, but runs into a boot. Dropkick to Joe's knee. Aries grabs a side headlock. Joe counters into a headscissors, but Austin pops out and immediately nails him with a dropkick.
He charges, but Joe elevates him onto the apron. He slingshots right back in, catching Joe with a back elbow. Running dropkick to the knee gets two. Daniels claims that he's the captain of the "ministry" and that Joe is just the muscle. Joe blocks an Irish whip. Aries kicks him in the gut and again goes for a whip. Joe reverses it and gives him an inverted atomic drop. Running big boot by Joe.
He hits a senton on Aries, then grabs a rear chinlock. Hard forearm by Joe. He bounces off the ropes, but Aries comes back with the crucifix driver. Suplex attempt by Aries? Eh eh. Joe blocks and sits him up top. He plants Aries with the Muscle Buster and quickly locks the rear naked choke to pick up the win. (3:10)
Fun while it lasted. That said, a 3 minute Joe/Aries match should be considered a crime. A hearty BOO to TNA!
-Still to come: AJ vs. Petey in a match where the first to hit their finisher wins. Also, six man action with Jarrett/AMW v. Sabin, Hoyt and Hardy. That's an odd little team right there.
-Commercials
-Shane Douglas interviews Scott D'Amore in Larry Zbyszko's office. For the match at Genesis, he wants it to be a hockey stick on a pole match. Larry thinks that idea is retarded. D'Amore tells him that it'll pop a buyrate and Larry is suddenly all ears. And to sweeten the pot, he's naming Kip James as the special guest referee. I thought they already did that?
Lex Lovett v. Kip James -
James pounds on Lovett and immediately goes for the Fame-asser. Lex avoids it and catches him with a leg lariat. He follows with a dropkick and a sloppy handspring elbow in the corner. Cover gets two. Lovett goes for a whip. James shortarms him, but misses a clothesline. He grabs Lovett, gives him a backbreaker and follows with the Cobra slam (but not before yelling out "I'm Kip James, bitch!) for the win. (1:04)
Postmatch, Team Canada come out, wielding hockey sticks. 3LK makes the save, but Konnan won't enter the ring to celebrate.
-Commercials
Petey Williams (w/Scott D'Amore) v. AJ Styles - Finisher Challenge -
So yeah, only the Canadian Destroyer or the Styles Clash can get the win. AJ grabs an armbar and immediately goes for his finisher. Petey easily escapes. He leg dives AJ, but eats some punches. Styles ducks a clothesline and starts laying in the forearms. He whips Petey into the corner and follows with a clothesline. Petey rakes his eyes and goes for the CD, but AJ scoots free. Tenay goes on a tangent, talking about how the fans he talks to have no idea how Petey does the Destroyer. TNA fans are apparently borderline retards. It's not that complicated. Anyway, moving on...
AJ whips Petey into the ropes. They run a quick criss cross sequence and Styles connects with a dropkick. D'Amore trips Styles, allowing Petey to come back with a gut kick. He rams AJ into the corner and works him over. Whip to the opposite corner. He chokes AJ with his boot. Styles fires back, looking for an enzuigiri. Petey ducks it and goes for the Destroyer. AJ counters, hitting the Pelé kick.
He follows with a pair of clotheslines and his suplex dropped into a neckbreaker. Styles Clash attempt. Petey escapes and plants him with a DDT. He goes for the Destroyer, but AJ blocks it and backs him into the ropes. Petey pounds away at him. He charges, but AJ catches him in a tilt-a-whirl. Petey lands on his feet and scores with a Russian Legsweep.
He signals for the Destroyer. AJ falls to a knee to block it, so Petey dropkicks him instead. He charges, but runs into a back elbow. AJ hits his moonsault inverted DDT. Styles Clash setup, but Petey grabs the ropes. AJ yanks him off and Petey grabs the ref's leg. AJ tries to yank him away, tripping up the ref. D'Amore quickly rolls in, holding the X title.
AJ ducks the shot and hits him with the Pelé kick. Can he get D'Amore up for the Styles Clash? We never find out, as Petey clocks him with the belt. He quickly follows with the Canadian Destroyer. The ref has conveniently woken up to see it, so a winner is Petey! (5:47)
-Main event is next!
-Commercials. Played the demo to the King Kong game. Seems fun enough. I'm not really caring about the movie at this point, though. New System of a Down album is out. I like the first single, but haven't heard anything else from it as of yet. I'm sure it'll rock.
-NWA Title video package. Again. Please stop showing this.
-Douglas interviews Zbyszko and Raven, who have agreed to a peaceful meeting. Raven wonders why a peaceful meeting requires a security team to be present. He thinks that he and Larry have a "failure to communicate." Zbyszko just laughs at him. Raven: "You think that's funny? You like jokes? Here's a joke. Knock, knock. Who's there? Blood. Blood who? Blood gushing out of the scarlet crater of pain where your arm used to be!"
Larry isn't amused. He says that he may not be able to fire Raven, but he does still book the matches and he plans on making Raven's life a living hell. Raven attacks and security drags him off. Well, that's a bit of progress, I guess. Maybe we'll see him in the ring again sometime this century. But a feud with Zbyszko? Yikes.
AMW & Jeff Jarrett (w/Gail Kim) v. Chris Sabin, Lance Hoyt & Jeff Hardy -
But first...
-Commercials
Storm and Sabin open the match. Gut kick by Storm, who grabs an armbar. Sabin rolls through and takes him over with an armdrag. He goes for a whip, but Storm reverses, looking for a back elbow. Sabin ducks it, they dosey doe and Storm ends up being whipped into the ropes. Sabin monkey flips him and makes the tag to Hoyt. Storm wants none of the big man, quickly tagging Harris in. They engage in a shoving match, with Hoyt subsequently laying Harris out with a clothesline.
He whips Harris into the ropes and plants him with a sideslam. Cover gets two. Harris cuts him off with a knee to the gut and makes the tag to Jarrett. He whips Hoyt into the corner, but runs into a back elbow. Hardy tags in and goes for a whip. Jarrett reverses it, but Hardy nails him with a flying clothesline. He tries to knock AMW off of the apron, but Storm grabs him. Jarrett charges, but hits Storm by mistake.
Harris levels Hardy with a clothesline. Jarrett pounds on him and tags Harris in. Suplex gets two. Tag to Storm. Harris snapmares Hardy, leaving him open for a dropkick from Storm. Cover gets two. He catches Hardy with a back elbow and makes the tag to Jarrett. He splashes Hardy in the ropes and tags Harris. Choke in the ropes, tag Storm.
AMW whip Hardy into the corner. He runs up the ropes and connects with his corkscrew moonsault. Hot tag to Hoyt. He goozles Storm, with Harris making the save. Double whip by AMW. Hoyt ducks a clothesline and ends up simultaneously flapjacking both guys. Okay, that was pretty cool. Jarrett runs in, but eats a big boot.
AMW jumps Hoyt. Double whip. Hoyt ducks a clothesline, with Sabin making a blind tag. He springboards in, taking out both members of AMW with a dropkick. Enzuigiri to Jarrett. Hoyt clotheslines AMW over the top and out. Hardy leaps off of Hoyt's back, diving onto AMW on the floor. Pescado by Hoyt.
In the ring, Jarrett has his guitar. Sabin ducks out of the way and lifts him for the Cradle Shock. Jarrett slips away, looking for the Stroke. Sabin counters, kicking off of both members of AMW in the process of delivering a tornado DDT. Cover gets two. He heads up top, but Gail crotches him. Stroke off of the second rope and we're done. (6:07)
Heels continue the beatdown postmatch. Rhino runs out and clears the ring. Heels back up the ramp, but hey! It's Team 3D. Everyone brawls as we fade out.
But wait! We get the PPV hype video to close the show.
-Monty Brown comes out. Blabbity, blabbity, gimme a title shot. Blabbity, blabbity, Pounce. Period. Jim Mitchell leads Abyss to the ring. They think he deserves a title shot more than Brown. Jeff Hardy is out. He growls into the camera. Okay then. Everyone brawls, until security steps in.
-Commercials. We're back to the original Morphoplex spot. Gah. Dragon Quest 8 commercial. Gotta have it. I've played through the demo and it seems like it'll be fun. And challenging, which is my big knock against most new RPGs. They're just way too easy. At any rate, I haven't played a DQ game since the original. Crazy. X-Box 360? I'd never buy it for myself, but if anyone out there in Heart Punch land wants to buy me one, feel free!
-Clips of the 6-man X-Division tag from last week. It's apparently leading to an "Elimination X" match at Genesis. Because big elimination tag matches done in November is innovative. It's the same six guys from last week plus Roderick Strong for the heels and Matt Bentley for the faces.
Samoa Joe v. Austin Aries -
Christopher Daniels joins us on commentary. Joe starts quickly, kicking Aries in the gut. He whips him into the corner and follows with a knee strike. A series of boot scrapes is followed by the Face Wash. He whips Aries into the corner, but runs into a boot. Dropkick to Joe's knee. Aries grabs a side headlock. Joe counters into a headscissors, but Austin pops out and immediately nails him with a dropkick.
He charges, but Joe elevates him onto the apron. He slingshots right back in, catching Joe with a back elbow. Running dropkick to the knee gets two. Daniels claims that he's the captain of the "ministry" and that Joe is just the muscle. Joe blocks an Irish whip. Aries kicks him in the gut and again goes for a whip. Joe reverses it and gives him an inverted atomic drop. Running big boot by Joe.
He hits a senton on Aries, then grabs a rear chinlock. Hard forearm by Joe. He bounces off the ropes, but Aries comes back with the crucifix driver. Suplex attempt by Aries? Eh eh. Joe blocks and sits him up top. He plants Aries with the Muscle Buster and quickly locks the rear naked choke to pick up the win. (3:10)
Fun while it lasted. That said, a 3 minute Joe/Aries match should be considered a crime. A hearty BOO to TNA!
-Still to come: AJ vs. Petey in a match where the first to hit their finisher wins. Also, six man action with Jarrett/AMW v. Sabin, Hoyt and Hardy. That's an odd little team right there.
-Commercials
-Shane Douglas interviews Scott D'Amore in Larry Zbyszko's office. For the match at Genesis, he wants it to be a hockey stick on a pole match. Larry thinks that idea is retarded. D'Amore tells him that it'll pop a buyrate and Larry is suddenly all ears. And to sweeten the pot, he's naming Kip James as the special guest referee. I thought they already did that?
Lex Lovett v. Kip James -
James pounds on Lovett and immediately goes for the Fame-asser. Lex avoids it and catches him with a leg lariat. He follows with a dropkick and a sloppy handspring elbow in the corner. Cover gets two. Lovett goes for a whip. James shortarms him, but misses a clothesline. He grabs Lovett, gives him a backbreaker and follows with the Cobra slam (but not before yelling out "I'm Kip James, bitch!) for the win. (1:04)
Postmatch, Team Canada come out, wielding hockey sticks. 3LK makes the save, but Konnan won't enter the ring to celebrate.
-Commercials
Petey Williams (w/Scott D'Amore) v. AJ Styles - Finisher Challenge -
So yeah, only the Canadian Destroyer or the Styles Clash can get the win. AJ grabs an armbar and immediately goes for his finisher. Petey easily escapes. He leg dives AJ, but eats some punches. Styles ducks a clothesline and starts laying in the forearms. He whips Petey into the corner and follows with a clothesline. Petey rakes his eyes and goes for the CD, but AJ scoots free. Tenay goes on a tangent, talking about how the fans he talks to have no idea how Petey does the Destroyer. TNA fans are apparently borderline retards. It's not that complicated. Anyway, moving on...
AJ whips Petey into the ropes. They run a quick criss cross sequence and Styles connects with a dropkick. D'Amore trips Styles, allowing Petey to come back with a gut kick. He rams AJ into the corner and works him over. Whip to the opposite corner. He chokes AJ with his boot. Styles fires back, looking for an enzuigiri. Petey ducks it and goes for the Destroyer. AJ counters, hitting the Pelé kick.
He follows with a pair of clotheslines and his suplex dropped into a neckbreaker. Styles Clash attempt. Petey escapes and plants him with a DDT. He goes for the Destroyer, but AJ blocks it and backs him into the ropes. Petey pounds away at him. He charges, but AJ catches him in a tilt-a-whirl. Petey lands on his feet and scores with a Russian Legsweep.
He signals for the Destroyer. AJ falls to a knee to block it, so Petey dropkicks him instead. He charges, but runs into a back elbow. AJ hits his moonsault inverted DDT. Styles Clash setup, but Petey grabs the ropes. AJ yanks him off and Petey grabs the ref's leg. AJ tries to yank him away, tripping up the ref. D'Amore quickly rolls in, holding the X title.
AJ ducks the shot and hits him with the Pelé kick. Can he get D'Amore up for the Styles Clash? We never find out, as Petey clocks him with the belt. He quickly follows with the Canadian Destroyer. The ref has conveniently woken up to see it, so a winner is Petey! (5:47)
-Main event is next!
-Commercials. Played the demo to the King Kong game. Seems fun enough. I'm not really caring about the movie at this point, though. New System of a Down album is out. I like the first single, but haven't heard anything else from it as of yet. I'm sure it'll rock.
-NWA Title video package. Again. Please stop showing this.
-Douglas interviews Zbyszko and Raven, who have agreed to a peaceful meeting. Raven wonders why a peaceful meeting requires a security team to be present. He thinks that he and Larry have a "failure to communicate." Zbyszko just laughs at him. Raven: "You think that's funny? You like jokes? Here's a joke. Knock, knock. Who's there? Blood. Blood who? Blood gushing out of the scarlet crater of pain where your arm used to be!"
Larry isn't amused. He says that he may not be able to fire Raven, but he does still book the matches and he plans on making Raven's life a living hell. Raven attacks and security drags him off. Well, that's a bit of progress, I guess. Maybe we'll see him in the ring again sometime this century. But a feud with Zbyszko? Yikes.
AMW & Jeff Jarrett (w/Gail Kim) v. Chris Sabin, Lance Hoyt & Jeff Hardy -
But first...
-Commercials
Storm and Sabin open the match. Gut kick by Storm, who grabs an armbar. Sabin rolls through and takes him over with an armdrag. He goes for a whip, but Storm reverses, looking for a back elbow. Sabin ducks it, they dosey doe and Storm ends up being whipped into the ropes. Sabin monkey flips him and makes the tag to Hoyt. Storm wants none of the big man, quickly tagging Harris in. They engage in a shoving match, with Hoyt subsequently laying Harris out with a clothesline.
He whips Harris into the ropes and plants him with a sideslam. Cover gets two. Harris cuts him off with a knee to the gut and makes the tag to Jarrett. He whips Hoyt into the corner, but runs into a back elbow. Hardy tags in and goes for a whip. Jarrett reverses it, but Hardy nails him with a flying clothesline. He tries to knock AMW off of the apron, but Storm grabs him. Jarrett charges, but hits Storm by mistake.
Harris levels Hardy with a clothesline. Jarrett pounds on him and tags Harris in. Suplex gets two. Tag to Storm. Harris snapmares Hardy, leaving him open for a dropkick from Storm. Cover gets two. He catches Hardy with a back elbow and makes the tag to Jarrett. He splashes Hardy in the ropes and tags Harris. Choke in the ropes, tag Storm.
AMW whip Hardy into the corner. He runs up the ropes and connects with his corkscrew moonsault. Hot tag to Hoyt. He goozles Storm, with Harris making the save. Double whip by AMW. Hoyt ducks a clothesline and ends up simultaneously flapjacking both guys. Okay, that was pretty cool. Jarrett runs in, but eats a big boot.
AMW jumps Hoyt. Double whip. Hoyt ducks a clothesline, with Sabin making a blind tag. He springboards in, taking out both members of AMW with a dropkick. Enzuigiri to Jarrett. Hoyt clotheslines AMW over the top and out. Hardy leaps off of Hoyt's back, diving onto AMW on the floor. Pescado by Hoyt.
In the ring, Jarrett has his guitar. Sabin ducks out of the way and lifts him for the Cradle Shock. Jarrett slips away, looking for the Stroke. Sabin counters, kicking off of both members of AMW in the process of delivering a tornado DDT. Cover gets two. He heads up top, but Gail crotches him. Stroke off of the second rope and we're done. (6:07)
Heels continue the beatdown postmatch. Rhino runs out and clears the ring. Heels back up the ramp, but hey! It's Team 3D. Everyone brawls as we fade out.
But wait! We get the PPV hype video to close the show.
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