ECW on Sci-Fi (12.5.06)
-Clips from December to Dismember. Well, honestly, it was clips of the Elimination Chamber. If this package went a minute, the other matches got a combined 2½ seconds at the most. At any rate, that Bobby Lashley is your new ECW champion. I might have preferred Show.
-Paul Heyman promo, from after D2D. He's in tears because Show lost the title. But only because the odds were so stacked against him. Err…you're the guy who made the match. Kinda hard to bitch about it now. The rematch clause is in effect on this week's show. In other words, in 45 minutes or so. Huzzah…
-Montage.
Rob Van Dam & CM Punk v. Test & Hardcore Holly -
What an interesting dichotomy of talent/lifestyle on that first team. And, uhh…Test. Van Dam dedicates the match to Sabu, who was injured (?) at D2D. Guess it was an angle. Don't care enough to look into it. Styles mentions that Vince McMahon had sent Paul Heyman home earlier in the day. In the ring, RVD takes Holly over with a 'rana, then connects with a nice sidekick. He catches Holly with a back elbow in the corner, then dekes him out on a springboard. Holly drops to the mat and Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault. Nice. He covers and gets two.
Test nails Van Dam from the apron, but RVD knocks him to the floor. The distraction is enough, though, as Holly tosses RVD out. Test works him over for a bit, then sends him back in. Holly suplexes him and gets two. Tag to Test. He pounds RVD down and catches him with a wicked clothesline. Holly tags back in. Van Dam quickly comes back with a spinkick and makes the tag to Punk.
Strikes galore from Punk! He whips Holly into the corner and follows him in with the running knee/bulldog combo. Test runs in, but Punk is waiting. He tags him with a few forearms and clotheslines him over the top. When he turns, Holly hoists him for the Alabama Slam. Punk counters into a sunset flip, but Holly rolls through. Uranage by Punk! Anaconda Vice! Heyman's goon squad runs out and attacks Punk, causing a DQ.
Postmatch, Sabu runs out (in a sling). Crazy one-armed chairshots for everyone! Buy two, get one free! The good guys clean house. Punk locks one of the security guys in the Anaconda Vice and RVD comes off the top with a Five Star frogsplash. Sabu adds an Arabian Facebuster for good measure. Good guys stand tall. Wow…the three of them living together would make a fine sitcom.
-Tonight, Kelly Kelly/Ariel…the rematch! Really, that didn't deserve the exclamation point. I'm being kind.
-Commercials
-Daivari calls out Dreamer. We see clips from D2D, showing Khali giving Dreamer a chokeslam onto the stage. Ouch. Dreamer…you so crazy.
Shawn Daivari v. Tommy Dreamer -
Dreamer is heavily bandaged and can barely walk. Just another night at the office for him. Daivari dropkicks him in his injured ribs and locks a surfboard submission. Dreamer comes back punching. He picks Daivari up with one arm for a spinebuster. DDT setup. Daivari counters into position for the FJOY. Dreamer counters back and spikes him with the DDT. He covers and gets the win!
Postmatch, Khali kills Dreamer with a chokeslam onto a chair.
-Later, Big Show challenges Lashley for the ECW title. Yay!
-Commercials. You can catch Final Destination 2 on Saturday night. Fun death scenes (which is true of the entire franchise), but little else. Not sure what the Sci-Fi cut looks like, so that fun death scene bit might not even be applicable.
-Next week, ECW is on at the special time of 8PM on Saturday night. Tazz proceeds to sing "Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting) by Elton John. I'm baffled. The good news is that, for one week only, I have an excuse to procrastinate on a recap. Huzzah!
-Big Show promo. Tonight, he's facing one man who has no weapons. Hell, the title is as good as his.
-Kelly Kelly comes to the ring, looking sad. Mike Knox left in the middle of their tag match at D2D, apparently.
-Commercials
Kelly Kelly v. Ariel (w/Kevin Thorn) -
The referee tosses Thorn immediately. Ariel attacks K², pounding on her from the mount. She starts to argue with the referee and K² quickly rolls her up for the win. Postmatch, Knox is out, carrying roses. He apologizes…saying that he's sorry that he didn't dump her sooner. Oh snap! It's a SWERVE! He tosses the roses into her face and plants her with his swinging Flatliner. Tazz, of all people, runs in, but Knox completely ignores him. I was *begging* to see him choke someone out, brutha.
-See No Evil hype package. This DVD makes a great Christmas gift for the ones that you love. I promise! On the basis of that last sentence, I feel I deserve some sort of WWE kickback. Actually, watching Raw and ECW in general as of late makes me feel that they owe me *something*. Oh, Smackdown. A beacon of hope in an otherwise sullied world.
Big Show v. Bobby Lashley - ECW Title -
Not on your life. Show kills Lashley the entire match, which is wrestled in slow motion in a sea of molasses. Not literally, though you can damn well bet I'd have recapped that particular scenario. Lashley comes back with a slam (pretty much his only offensive move in the entire match) and gets the win. Just a brutal, agonizing match to watch. Who in God's name decided that it was a good idea for these two to go close to 20 minutes?
I think I hate this show now. It's always a very much a peaks and valleys show to begin with, but the past month has been one giant ass valley. I hope things turn around, because I *want* to like this show so damn much.
-Paul Heyman promo, from after D2D. He's in tears because Show lost the title. But only because the odds were so stacked against him. Err…you're the guy who made the match. Kinda hard to bitch about it now. The rematch clause is in effect on this week's show. In other words, in 45 minutes or so. Huzzah…
-Montage.
Rob Van Dam & CM Punk v. Test & Hardcore Holly -
What an interesting dichotomy of talent/lifestyle on that first team. And, uhh…Test. Van Dam dedicates the match to Sabu, who was injured (?) at D2D. Guess it was an angle. Don't care enough to look into it. Styles mentions that Vince McMahon had sent Paul Heyman home earlier in the day. In the ring, RVD takes Holly over with a 'rana, then connects with a nice sidekick. He catches Holly with a back elbow in the corner, then dekes him out on a springboard. Holly drops to the mat and Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault. Nice. He covers and gets two.
Test nails Van Dam from the apron, but RVD knocks him to the floor. The distraction is enough, though, as Holly tosses RVD out. Test works him over for a bit, then sends him back in. Holly suplexes him and gets two. Tag to Test. He pounds RVD down and catches him with a wicked clothesline. Holly tags back in. Van Dam quickly comes back with a spinkick and makes the tag to Punk.
Strikes galore from Punk! He whips Holly into the corner and follows him in with the running knee/bulldog combo. Test runs in, but Punk is waiting. He tags him with a few forearms and clotheslines him over the top. When he turns, Holly hoists him for the Alabama Slam. Punk counters into a sunset flip, but Holly rolls through. Uranage by Punk! Anaconda Vice! Heyman's goon squad runs out and attacks Punk, causing a DQ.
Postmatch, Sabu runs out (in a sling). Crazy one-armed chairshots for everyone! Buy two, get one free! The good guys clean house. Punk locks one of the security guys in the Anaconda Vice and RVD comes off the top with a Five Star frogsplash. Sabu adds an Arabian Facebuster for good measure. Good guys stand tall. Wow…the three of them living together would make a fine sitcom.
-Tonight, Kelly Kelly/Ariel…the rematch! Really, that didn't deserve the exclamation point. I'm being kind.
-Commercials
-Daivari calls out Dreamer. We see clips from D2D, showing Khali giving Dreamer a chokeslam onto the stage. Ouch. Dreamer…you so crazy.
Shawn Daivari v. Tommy Dreamer -
Dreamer is heavily bandaged and can barely walk. Just another night at the office for him. Daivari dropkicks him in his injured ribs and locks a surfboard submission. Dreamer comes back punching. He picks Daivari up with one arm for a spinebuster. DDT setup. Daivari counters into position for the FJOY. Dreamer counters back and spikes him with the DDT. He covers and gets the win!
Postmatch, Khali kills Dreamer with a chokeslam onto a chair.
-Later, Big Show challenges Lashley for the ECW title. Yay!
-Commercials. You can catch Final Destination 2 on Saturday night. Fun death scenes (which is true of the entire franchise), but little else. Not sure what the Sci-Fi cut looks like, so that fun death scene bit might not even be applicable.
-Next week, ECW is on at the special time of 8PM on Saturday night. Tazz proceeds to sing "Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting) by Elton John. I'm baffled. The good news is that, for one week only, I have an excuse to procrastinate on a recap. Huzzah!
-Big Show promo. Tonight, he's facing one man who has no weapons. Hell, the title is as good as his.
-Kelly Kelly comes to the ring, looking sad. Mike Knox left in the middle of their tag match at D2D, apparently.
-Commercials
Kelly Kelly v. Ariel (w/Kevin Thorn) -
The referee tosses Thorn immediately. Ariel attacks K², pounding on her from the mount. She starts to argue with the referee and K² quickly rolls her up for the win. Postmatch, Knox is out, carrying roses. He apologizes…saying that he's sorry that he didn't dump her sooner. Oh snap! It's a SWERVE! He tosses the roses into her face and plants her with his swinging Flatliner. Tazz, of all people, runs in, but Knox completely ignores him. I was *begging* to see him choke someone out, brutha.
-See No Evil hype package. This DVD makes a great Christmas gift for the ones that you love. I promise! On the basis of that last sentence, I feel I deserve some sort of WWE kickback. Actually, watching Raw and ECW in general as of late makes me feel that they owe me *something*. Oh, Smackdown. A beacon of hope in an otherwise sullied world.
Big Show v. Bobby Lashley - ECW Title -
Not on your life. Show kills Lashley the entire match, which is wrestled in slow motion in a sea of molasses. Not literally, though you can damn well bet I'd have recapped that particular scenario. Lashley comes back with a slam (pretty much his only offensive move in the entire match) and gets the win. Just a brutal, agonizing match to watch. Who in God's name decided that it was a good idea for these two to go close to 20 minutes?
I think I hate this show now. It's always a very much a peaks and valleys show to begin with, but the past month has been one giant ass valley. I hope things turn around, because I *want* to like this show so damn much.
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