MTV's Wrestling Society X - Pilot Episode (1.26.07)
So, the great MTV wrestling experiment has finally arrived on my television. What I expect going in: Zero. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. At best, it'll be stupid spotty fun that feels like it flies by in seconds. At worst, it'll be stupid spotty fun that's so stupid that it'll wrap back around to awesomeness. Seriously, I think this show is an absolute no loss formula. Great roster of young guys, a few vets that can still go and fuck…it's New Jack. NEW JACK! On MTV. In 2007. That's quality right there.
-We get some goofiness right off the bat, as MTV doesn't seem to know which show it wants to play. We get a minute or so from the preview of this coming season of Two-a-Days, then switch to your regularly scheduled Wrestling Society X programming. Weird. Tonight, Matt Sydal squares off with Jack Evans and there will be a ten man WSX Rumble to determine the two men who'll go for the WSX title next week. Also, Black Label Society.
-Speaking of BLS, here they are, performing, "Stillborn." Shows you how long ago this was taped. They really only performed for about a minute or so. Which is a shame, as BLS is the only band announced so far that I really care about, though Sparta doesn't totally annoy me. For what it's worth, here's the list of the upcoming musical talent: Three 6 Mafia, Sparta, Clipse, Jibbs, Good Charlotte, Quietdrive, Pitbull, Styles P and New Found Glory. I've not heard of a bunch of those people, as I haven't listened to much in the way of hip hop in years.
-The announcers, Kris Kloss (of XPW fame) and Bret Ernst intro the show. Kloss is seriously the worst announcer ever. He's a tenth rate Joey Styles knockoff with none of the knowledge or charm. So very much hate. We also get a crawl across the bottom of the screen that reads as follows: "What you are about to see contains death defying stunts performed by insane professional wrestlers. These stunts should not be performed at home…or anywhere else for that matter. Enjoy the mayhem."
Matt Sydal (w/Lizzy Valentine) v. Jack Evans -
As each guy comes out, we get a quick freeze frame showing us their hometown, accomplishments in other companies and their signature maneuver. The ring announcer (Fabian Kaelin AKA former XPW worker GQ Money) is just WAY too excitable. At this rate, he'll stroke out by episode three. Zakk Wylde joins in on commentary and is probably the best announcer of the group, which is scary on so many levels. Anyway, this has a ton of the jerky MTV-style editing to cover up the clipping. If you get motion sickness, you might wanna skip this.
Evans charges Sydal, but takes a pair of boots to the face for his troubles. Evans comes right back, looking for a 'rana. Sydal shrugs him off, flipping him backwards over the top and out. Sydal follows him out with a twisting tope. Back in the ring, Evans reverses Sydal into the corner and hits a handspring elbow. Sydal staggers to the center of the ring. Evans goes for the dreaded springboard something or another, but eats a well placed spin kick. Cover gets two. He locks Evans in some sort of wacky submission out of a Gory Stretch, but Evans manages to reach the ropes and flip free.
Sydal is looking for a backslide, but Evans flips over him. He connects with a pair of kicks to the gut and hits his big spinning kick right to Sydal's face. Sydal rolls out. Space Flying Tiger Drop by Evans! He rolls Sydal in. Legsweep, but Evans misses a standing, twisting Shooting Star Press (!!). Sydal plants him with the Here It Is Driver (essentially a pump handle, half nelson Michinoku Driver) for a nearfall. He follows with his huge standing moonsault (w/a tuck), but Evans again escapes at two.
Evans comes back with a kick. He bounces off the ropes, but Valentine (AKA former XPW/TNA valet Valentina and/or J-Love) grabs his leg. Evans and Sydal lock up and Valentine ends up being dragged into the ring. Sydal catches a kick attempt and backflips Evans over Valentine. Evans then vaults off of her, spiking Sydal with a tornado DDT. He heads up top and hits the 630° Splash. He covers and gets the win.
Fun stuff here. They didn't get a lot of time, but it was actually more than I thought they would, so I'm happy with this one. Postmatch, Evans kicks game to Valentine, who looks like she might be interested in the hook up. He proceeds to do a twisting backflip off of the apron as he leaves…just because he can, I guess.
-We get really quick clips of some tag teams that we can expect to see in WSX in the near future:
Keepin' It Gangsta (Ruckus & Babi Slymm)
Team D.I.F.H. (Tyler Black and Jimmy Jacobs - the acronym stands for "Do It For Her", if you were curious)
The Trailer Park Boyz (Nate Webb & Josh Raymond w/Johnny Webb)
Team Dragon Gate (Genki Horiguchi & Masato Yoshino)
-The WSX Rumble is next!
-Commercials
-They do a couple of quick vignettes with various guys in the Rumble. Justin Credible cuts the same promo he's been doing for years. New Jack promises to beat Chris Hamrick's ass. Teddy Hart proclaims himself "the past, present and future" of wrestling. Kaos and Aaron Aguilera (formerly known as Jesus on Smackdown) argue over who's more focused on the Rumble.
-They run down the rules for the Rumble. Basically, standard Royal Rumble rules apply, except that once all ten guys are in, two contracts will be lowered above the ring. You grab one and you move on to a WSX title shot on next week's show. Also, there's various plunder around the ring. All sorts of tables, a box covered in barbed wire. Said barbed wire is also electrified, which is represented by the cheesiest post produced "special effects," you've ever seen. Some sort of cage deal is on one side of the ring as well.
(1)Justin Credible (who gets his theme, though I'm not sure if it was the original Prong version because of all the random babble) starts the match with (2)Teddy Hart. Hart plants him with a sloppy reverse DDT, then follows with a dropkick. That's every bit as gorgeous as the DDT was sloppy. Oh, Teddy…how you frustrate me. He heads up top to celebrate with a backflip, but turns around into a superkick. They go back and forth with counters and Teddy hits a springboard moonsault press. (3)Kaos is out, but Hart and Credible jump him. They go for a double clothesline, but he ducks it and clotheslines both of them instead.
Hart pops back up and just murders Kaos with a cradle DDT. Credible holds Kaos in position for a backbreaker as Hart comes off the top with a SSP! (4)Vampiro hits the ring and cleans house on everyone. He plants Hart with a big chokeslam as we go to break.
-Commercials
During the break, (5)Puma came out, but was instantly eliminated by Vampiro via chokeslam over the top and through a table. (6)Al Katrazz (w/Luke Hawx) is also out. Vampiro catches him with a flying forearm. (7)6-Pac is next. He nails Credible with a spin kick, then plants both Vampiro and Credible with X-Factors. He beats Hart down in the corner and connects with the Bronco Buster. (8)Chris Hamrick is out, with (9)New Jack right behind him. Because the concept of rules is pretty much foreign to New Jack. He ends up eliminating Hamrick by tossing him off the apron and through a table.
The ref proclaims that Jack is eliminated for no apparent reason, so he tosses the ref into the ring and kabongs him with his guitar. Elsewhere, Vampiro powerslams Kaos. Al Katrazz follows up with an Elbowdrop and Hart comes off the top with a moonsault. Who'd Kaos piss off? Somewhere at ringside, New Jack lays Hamrick on a table. Al Katrazz tries to toss Kaos into the barbed wire, but Kaos lands on the apron. Al Katrazz charges, but gets crotches. Hawx gets involved and Kaos ends up being suplexed into the barbed wire box. Several post produced explosions go off. Hilarious, as the fans don't react at all to the friggin GIANT EXPLOSIONS that are supposedly happening a few feet away.
Elsewhere, New Jack connects with his balcony dive, driving Hamrick through the table. It was nice of Hamrick to lay there completely prone for so long. Perhaps he was dead and no one noticed? Not like New Jack couldn't have shanked him or something. Al Katrazz is eliminated after being super kicked off the apron by Vampiro. Probably through a table, since that seems to be the theme here. Vampiro then lays out Credible and 6-Pac with clotheslines. He turns and Hart dives off the top, planting him with a tornado DDT. Popular move tonight.
(10)Youth Suicide is your final participant. That was seriously the longest 45 second interval in the history of time. No idea who this guy is, except that his Wiki profile says that he was trained by both crappy garbage worker Supreme *and* all time great Nick Bockwinkel. That's too tremendous for words and I absolutely have to believe that it's true, even if Wiki is my source. He has a bucket of some sort. I'm guessing tacks. Actually, it's not so much a guess as I write this, as I've already seen the show! But trust me, I totally guessed it then as well.
In the ring, Teddy Hart is eliminated after Credible backdrops him over the top and, yep, through a table. SCORE! Everyone is out, so the contracts are officially in play. Suicide pours the tacks in the ring. He grabs a ladder and goes for a contract, but Vampiro yanks him off and powerbombs him onto the tacks. 6-Pac quickly climbs the ladder and grabs the first contract. Suicide is back on the ladder. Credible shoves it over and Suicide bumps over the top onto the cage. BANG! BANG! BOOM! THE ARENA EXPLODES! Except for the fans sitting three feet away. Heh. I love this.
Credible sets up the ladder and plants Vampiro with a back suplex. Vamp pops back up and levels him with a Yakuza kick. They both go for the remaining contract. 6-Pac knocks the ladder over, but not before Vampiro manages to grab the contract! So, next week will be 6-Pac versus Vampiro to crown the first ever WSX champion!
-We get some quick clips from WSX Season One. Lots of shit goes BOOM. People flip. Also, Piranhas come into play. Yes…piranhas.
-Back to the ring, where 6-Pac is attacking Vampiro. He sends him to the floor and connects with a somersault plancha as the show goes off the air!
So, that was different. God help me, but I actually enjoyed this. It was definitely stupid. Definitely spotty. But, in the end, it was just as fun as I thought it might be. It's not going to be the show I seek out when I want to see a great wrestling match, but if I had to choose between this or *not* watching wrestling at any given time, I'd certainly choose this. Hell, I'm not entirely sure it won't end up being better than ECW and/or Impact. Wouldn't take much.
For more info (and to watch the WSXtra webcasts with extra matches and what not), head to WSX.MTV.com
-We get some goofiness right off the bat, as MTV doesn't seem to know which show it wants to play. We get a minute or so from the preview of this coming season of Two-a-Days, then switch to your regularly scheduled Wrestling Society X programming. Weird. Tonight, Matt Sydal squares off with Jack Evans and there will be a ten man WSX Rumble to determine the two men who'll go for the WSX title next week. Also, Black Label Society.
-Speaking of BLS, here they are, performing, "Stillborn." Shows you how long ago this was taped. They really only performed for about a minute or so. Which is a shame, as BLS is the only band announced so far that I really care about, though Sparta doesn't totally annoy me. For what it's worth, here's the list of the upcoming musical talent: Three 6 Mafia, Sparta, Clipse, Jibbs, Good Charlotte, Quietdrive, Pitbull, Styles P and New Found Glory. I've not heard of a bunch of those people, as I haven't listened to much in the way of hip hop in years.
-The announcers, Kris Kloss (of XPW fame) and Bret Ernst intro the show. Kloss is seriously the worst announcer ever. He's a tenth rate Joey Styles knockoff with none of the knowledge or charm. So very much hate. We also get a crawl across the bottom of the screen that reads as follows: "What you are about to see contains death defying stunts performed by insane professional wrestlers. These stunts should not be performed at home…or anywhere else for that matter. Enjoy the mayhem."
Matt Sydal (w/Lizzy Valentine) v. Jack Evans -
As each guy comes out, we get a quick freeze frame showing us their hometown, accomplishments in other companies and their signature maneuver. The ring announcer (Fabian Kaelin AKA former XPW worker GQ Money) is just WAY too excitable. At this rate, he'll stroke out by episode three. Zakk Wylde joins in on commentary and is probably the best announcer of the group, which is scary on so many levels. Anyway, this has a ton of the jerky MTV-style editing to cover up the clipping. If you get motion sickness, you might wanna skip this.
Evans charges Sydal, but takes a pair of boots to the face for his troubles. Evans comes right back, looking for a 'rana. Sydal shrugs him off, flipping him backwards over the top and out. Sydal follows him out with a twisting tope. Back in the ring, Evans reverses Sydal into the corner and hits a handspring elbow. Sydal staggers to the center of the ring. Evans goes for the dreaded springboard something or another, but eats a well placed spin kick. Cover gets two. He locks Evans in some sort of wacky submission out of a Gory Stretch, but Evans manages to reach the ropes and flip free.
Sydal is looking for a backslide, but Evans flips over him. He connects with a pair of kicks to the gut and hits his big spinning kick right to Sydal's face. Sydal rolls out. Space Flying Tiger Drop by Evans! He rolls Sydal in. Legsweep, but Evans misses a standing, twisting Shooting Star Press (!!). Sydal plants him with the Here It Is Driver (essentially a pump handle, half nelson Michinoku Driver) for a nearfall. He follows with his huge standing moonsault (w/a tuck), but Evans again escapes at two.
Evans comes back with a kick. He bounces off the ropes, but Valentine (AKA former XPW/TNA valet Valentina and/or J-Love) grabs his leg. Evans and Sydal lock up and Valentine ends up being dragged into the ring. Sydal catches a kick attempt and backflips Evans over Valentine. Evans then vaults off of her, spiking Sydal with a tornado DDT. He heads up top and hits the 630° Splash. He covers and gets the win.
Fun stuff here. They didn't get a lot of time, but it was actually more than I thought they would, so I'm happy with this one. Postmatch, Evans kicks game to Valentine, who looks like she might be interested in the hook up. He proceeds to do a twisting backflip off of the apron as he leaves…just because he can, I guess.
-We get really quick clips of some tag teams that we can expect to see in WSX in the near future:
Keepin' It Gangsta (Ruckus & Babi Slymm)
Team D.I.F.H. (Tyler Black and Jimmy Jacobs - the acronym stands for "Do It For Her", if you were curious)
The Trailer Park Boyz (Nate Webb & Josh Raymond w/Johnny Webb)
Team Dragon Gate (Genki Horiguchi & Masato Yoshino)
-The WSX Rumble is next!
-Commercials
-They do a couple of quick vignettes with various guys in the Rumble. Justin Credible cuts the same promo he's been doing for years. New Jack promises to beat Chris Hamrick's ass. Teddy Hart proclaims himself "the past, present and future" of wrestling. Kaos and Aaron Aguilera (formerly known as Jesus on Smackdown) argue over who's more focused on the Rumble.
-They run down the rules for the Rumble. Basically, standard Royal Rumble rules apply, except that once all ten guys are in, two contracts will be lowered above the ring. You grab one and you move on to a WSX title shot on next week's show. Also, there's various plunder around the ring. All sorts of tables, a box covered in barbed wire. Said barbed wire is also electrified, which is represented by the cheesiest post produced "special effects," you've ever seen. Some sort of cage deal is on one side of the ring as well.
(1)Justin Credible (who gets his theme, though I'm not sure if it was the original Prong version because of all the random babble) starts the match with (2)Teddy Hart. Hart plants him with a sloppy reverse DDT, then follows with a dropkick. That's every bit as gorgeous as the DDT was sloppy. Oh, Teddy…how you frustrate me. He heads up top to celebrate with a backflip, but turns around into a superkick. They go back and forth with counters and Teddy hits a springboard moonsault press. (3)Kaos is out, but Hart and Credible jump him. They go for a double clothesline, but he ducks it and clotheslines both of them instead.
Hart pops back up and just murders Kaos with a cradle DDT. Credible holds Kaos in position for a backbreaker as Hart comes off the top with a SSP! (4)Vampiro hits the ring and cleans house on everyone. He plants Hart with a big chokeslam as we go to break.
-Commercials
During the break, (5)Puma came out, but was instantly eliminated by Vampiro via chokeslam over the top and through a table. (6)Al Katrazz (w/Luke Hawx) is also out. Vampiro catches him with a flying forearm. (7)6-Pac is next. He nails Credible with a spin kick, then plants both Vampiro and Credible with X-Factors. He beats Hart down in the corner and connects with the Bronco Buster. (8)Chris Hamrick is out, with (9)New Jack right behind him. Because the concept of rules is pretty much foreign to New Jack. He ends up eliminating Hamrick by tossing him off the apron and through a table.
The ref proclaims that Jack is eliminated for no apparent reason, so he tosses the ref into the ring and kabongs him with his guitar. Elsewhere, Vampiro powerslams Kaos. Al Katrazz follows up with an Elbowdrop and Hart comes off the top with a moonsault. Who'd Kaos piss off? Somewhere at ringside, New Jack lays Hamrick on a table. Al Katrazz tries to toss Kaos into the barbed wire, but Kaos lands on the apron. Al Katrazz charges, but gets crotches. Hawx gets involved and Kaos ends up being suplexed into the barbed wire box. Several post produced explosions go off. Hilarious, as the fans don't react at all to the friggin GIANT EXPLOSIONS that are supposedly happening a few feet away.
Elsewhere, New Jack connects with his balcony dive, driving Hamrick through the table. It was nice of Hamrick to lay there completely prone for so long. Perhaps he was dead and no one noticed? Not like New Jack couldn't have shanked him or something. Al Katrazz is eliminated after being super kicked off the apron by Vampiro. Probably through a table, since that seems to be the theme here. Vampiro then lays out Credible and 6-Pac with clotheslines. He turns and Hart dives off the top, planting him with a tornado DDT. Popular move tonight.
(10)Youth Suicide is your final participant. That was seriously the longest 45 second interval in the history of time. No idea who this guy is, except that his Wiki profile says that he was trained by both crappy garbage worker Supreme *and* all time great Nick Bockwinkel. That's too tremendous for words and I absolutely have to believe that it's true, even if Wiki is my source. He has a bucket of some sort. I'm guessing tacks. Actually, it's not so much a guess as I write this, as I've already seen the show! But trust me, I totally guessed it then as well.
In the ring, Teddy Hart is eliminated after Credible backdrops him over the top and, yep, through a table. SCORE! Everyone is out, so the contracts are officially in play. Suicide pours the tacks in the ring. He grabs a ladder and goes for a contract, but Vampiro yanks him off and powerbombs him onto the tacks. 6-Pac quickly climbs the ladder and grabs the first contract. Suicide is back on the ladder. Credible shoves it over and Suicide bumps over the top onto the cage. BANG! BANG! BOOM! THE ARENA EXPLODES! Except for the fans sitting three feet away. Heh. I love this.
Credible sets up the ladder and plants Vampiro with a back suplex. Vamp pops back up and levels him with a Yakuza kick. They both go for the remaining contract. 6-Pac knocks the ladder over, but not before Vampiro manages to grab the contract! So, next week will be 6-Pac versus Vampiro to crown the first ever WSX champion!
-We get some quick clips from WSX Season One. Lots of shit goes BOOM. People flip. Also, Piranhas come into play. Yes…piranhas.
-Back to the ring, where 6-Pac is attacking Vampiro. He sends him to the floor and connects with a somersault plancha as the show goes off the air!
So, that was different. God help me, but I actually enjoyed this. It was definitely stupid. Definitely spotty. But, in the end, it was just as fun as I thought it might be. It's not going to be the show I seek out when I want to see a great wrestling match, but if I had to choose between this or *not* watching wrestling at any given time, I'd certainly choose this. Hell, I'm not entirely sure it won't end up being better than ECW and/or Impact. Wouldn't take much.
For more info (and to watch the WSXtra webcasts with extra matches and what not), head to WSX.MTV.com
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