Heart Punch

-Opening montage opens the show. Nutty! -Tonight, CM Punk and Rob Van Dam square off with Elijah Burke and Marcus Cor Van. Some other stuff, too, I assume. Snitsky v. Tommy Dreamer - Snitsky mauls Dreamer, posting him shoulderfirst in the corner. He actually works the arm a bit, but quickly goes back to simple clubberin', to quote a wise, wise man. Dreamer avoids a big boot and Snitsky crotches himself on the top rope. Dreamer kicks away at his thigh and crops him to his knees with a dropkick. He DDTs Snitsky, but can only get two. Dreamer heads up top, but leaps into a stiff clothesline. Big boot by Snitsky and that's that. Postmatch, Snitsky continues the beatdown. He grabs a chair, but RVD runs out and connects with a springboard Van Daminator. -Clips of the ECW Title match at Judgment Day. Bobby Lashley picks up the win, but not over Vince McMahon. You don't beat the champ, you don't get the belt. So sez Vince, at any rate. -Commercials -K² and crew are out to intro...

-We open with clips from Raw, focusing on the Lashley/McMahon situation. Shane's "I'm not touching you!" shtick never gets old. Ever. At any rate, poor Coach gets his shit fucked up by Lashley. The heels try to do the same to Lashley, but he's all LASHLEY SMASH. Vince gets while the getting is good. Lashley starts to give chase, but Shane cuts him off. Now it's his turn to run for his life. He dives through the sunroof of the limo and makes his escape. Show over, right? Wrong. Lashley turns and WHAM, Vince lays him out with a belt shot. -Speaking of Vince, he joins us via satellite. Smart move, since he broke that little "no touch" rule. He talks for awhile, but essentially says nothing. He does set up Lashley versus all three members of the New Breed as tonight's main event, though. -Opening montage. -Rob Van Dam gets his intro in before we go to break… -Commercials Rob Van Dam v. Snitsky - Even versus RVD, we get the typical Snitsky match. He s...

AGAINST : Slow down, JBL. FOR: Edge is pretty much right about everything. FOR: Teddy stacking the deck. AGAINST: How are London and Kendrick the underdogs? FOR: Thank you, JBL. FOR: JBL: "I once knew a great champion who used to do that move a lot." AGAINST: Suboptimal shove by Regal. AGAINST : Did we need to announce the "because of outside interference"? FOR: The entire aftermath. FOR : Edge chasing Hornswaggle through backstage. AGAINST : That didn't go nearly long enough. FOR : "Jill-a-tonic" is secretly an awesome name for a really bad pop song. FOR : JBL: "No. We're not ready." FOR : Cole: "I never though I'd say this, but thank goodness for the Boogeyman." FOR : Jillian remembered! Awesome. AGAINST : Michelle? I was expecting Little Boogeyman. (I'm also not a fan of that shopping bag she's wearing but that doesn't really deserve its own point.) FOR : Oh. AGAINST : I don't like where this i...

FOR : Edge got into the opening quick. FOR : Matt's not impressed. FOR : This match so far. AGAINST : I don't want to be Matt's head right now. AGAINST : Did the camera miss MVP putting his feet on the ropes on the cover? AGAINST : Matt ducked? I thought it was a blown spot. FOR : The "Undertaker gets carried out of the ring by the druids" footage. AGAINST : What, no car? AGAINST : What's with the bandanna over London's mouth? FOR : London and Kendrick's double jumping armdrag. FOR : Has the London/Kendrick/Yang team ever lost a six-man tag? I'm not sure they have. AGAINST : Why are we running comeback vignettes after the come- FOR : Oh. AGAINST : I see they've recycled the old Monty Brown promos. AGAINST : Poor Funaki. Hasn't been seen in months and now this. FOR : Cole and JBL's "brick wall" exchange. FOR : Benoit/Finlay! FOR : Benoit looking at the ropes then going for the counter. FOR : This match, but you knew that. AG...

I'm back. With ECW. Again. Good God, what's wrong with me? I just can't give it up. Well, actually, I give it up fairly often. Because if you want consistency with a recap, I'm not the guy whose door you knock on. Go me! -Earlier in the day, Bobby Lashley arrived at the arena. Armando Alejandro Estrada was waiting, along with a cadre of police officers. As per Vince's orders, Lashley's services won't be needed tonight. In fact, he's not allowed in the building at all! And if he lays a finger on Estrada, you can be sure that charges will be pressed. Lashley considers this for a few seconds, then shoves Estrada's wheelchair down an incline and into a giant pile of trash. He seems happy to let the cops arrest him… -Opening montage. -Tonight, Rob Van Dam gets his shot at the ECW title, facing Shane McMahon, Umaga and the champ himself, Vince McMahon. CM Punk v. Marcus Cor Van (w/Elijah Burke) - There's a crawl on the bottom of the screen to indicate ...

FOR: 2/3 falls for the US Title. FOR : The fakeout to - and from - the baseball slide. AGAINST : I think that was his point, Cole. FOR : MVP rolling over Hardy's knee. That's a new one. FOR: MVP waving off the "Hardy" chant. FOR : Nice transition from the cover into the Indian Deathlock by Finlay, and you could see him set it up also. FOR : The finish. AGAINST: The Ozzy song. FOR : Cole's segue into Jillian's singing. "I want her to stop!" AGAINST : What is she even saying? Seriously. AGAINST : Michelle really needs to do something about those roots. FOR : Jillian's cartwheel elbow drop. AGAINST : Jillian clearly did all the work on that belly-to-belly throw. FOR: I hope the Dalton boys are faces. AGAINST : They're going to go through with the Vickie Guerrero as assistant Gm angle after all? FOR : The crowd agrees with me. AGAINST: Not the most inspiring interview Ashley put on. FOR : The callback to the moonsault spot. FOR : London...

So, yeah...I apologize for not writing anything as of late (especially to Matt, since he's been KING SIZED in carrying things). I've got 3/4 of Night 1 of the BoLA tournament done, but it's so friggin' long that typing it up is a pain in my ass. Which is really the problem with all of the indy reviews I'd love to do. Maybe I'll just start doing ECW again. It's been a bit better recently and Vince being featured prominently always gives me something to snipe about. As if I actively need to hunt things out to bitch about. I sure do wish WSX were still on my television, though. Or a TNA product that didn't make my soul hurt. Whatever. Super Dragon v. Necro Butcher (PWG - Battle of Los Angeles, Night Two - 9.2.06) What we've got here is two guys beating the ever loving SHIT out of one another. Not a great match, particularly, but it is a really fun, unhinged brawl that will have you cringing on several occasions. As always, I *heart* Necro. And Supes is ...

FOR: Fan reaction to the Last Man Standing Match to open the show. FOR: JBL: "Is it not enough we've got one monster freak in this company? Now we've got ... one and a half?" AGAINST: "Must-see?" I disagree. AGAINST: The Triassic Park reference. FOR: More of this from MVP please. FOR: The line outside Teddy's office. AGAINST: Miz being in it. FOR: The end of Cole and JBL's car discussion. "I drive a Saturn." "I don't drive." AGAINST: Domino FOR: Sliced Bread #2! The kick to knock Deuce off the apron was a nice touch. FOR: Kennedy announcing his Money In The Bank intentions. AGAINST: Not the best spot to come back from commercial to. FOR: This match. FOR: The triple-counter sequence (rolling senton/Twist of Fate/rolling senton) AGAINST: Nobody remembering that Matt was the first guy to actually beat Kennedy. FOR: Teddy announcing the cage match. AGAINST: The placement/timing of the announcement. Right befor...