ECW on Sci-Fi (5.15.07)
-We open with clips from Raw, focusing on the Lashley/McMahon situation. Shane's "I'm not touching you!" shtick never gets old. Ever. At any rate, poor Coach gets his shit fucked up by Lashley. The heels try to do the same to Lashley, but he's all LASHLEY SMASH. Vince gets while the getting is good. Lashley starts to give chase, but Shane cuts him off. Now it's his turn to run for his life. He dives through the sunroof of the limo and makes his escape. Show over, right? Wrong. Lashley turns and WHAM, Vince lays him out with a belt shot.
-Speaking of Vince, he joins us via satellite. Smart move, since he broke that little "no touch" rule. He talks for awhile, but essentially says nothing. He does set up Lashley versus all three members of the New Breed as tonight's main event, though.
-Opening montage.
-Rob Van Dam gets his intro in before we go to break…
-Commercials
Rob Van Dam v. Snitsky -
Even versus RVD, we get the typical Snitsky match. He stuffs all of Van Dam's offense and alternately tosses him around and pounds him down. RVD comes back with some kicks, but misses Rolling Thunder. Snitsky goes for the big boot, but RVD ducks and he crotches himself on the top rope. A spin kick sends him to the floor. Van Dam follows, but is immediately leveled by a clothesline. Snitsky nails him with a chair and that, kiddies, is a disqualification.
-CM Punk video package. He's up next, you know!
-Commercials
CM Punk v. Stevie Richards -
Is Stevie Punk's personal job guy? I'm not complaining, certainly, since Stevie would likely be the ECW champ if I were booking things, but these two seem to hook up pretty frequently. Anyway, Punk's ribs are taped up after last week's match with Marcus Cor Van.
Stevie zeroes in on the ribs right away, but Punk circles, trying to keep his distance with kicks. He staggers Stevie and quickly rushes in, taking him over with an Exploder for a quick nearfall. He goes for a whip, but Stevie reverses, shortarming him into a kneelift to the ribs. He pulls the tape off and pounds at the ribs. Punk tries to mount a comeback, but Stevie cuts him off with a rake to the eyes. He takes Punk over with a snapmare and lays in a spine kick for two. Elevated Bow & Arrow submission by Stevie. Punk escapes, rolling into a quick cover, but Stevie is out at two.
He sends Punk into the ropes and ducks his head. Punk goes for a sunset flip, but can't pull him over. Instead, Stevie jumps up and delivers a double stomp to the gut. Cover gets two. He follows with an abdominal stretch, but Punk counters with a hiptoss. Stevie charges him in the corner, but Punk moves and he winds up being hung up in the ropes. Stevie lays in some kicks to the back of the head and plants him with an elevated neckbreaker out of the corner. Cover gets two.
In the opposite corner, he goes for his running knee strike/bulldog combo, but Stevie shrugs him off and lands a shotgun dropkick to the gut, sending Punk flying backwards into the corner. He sets up for a Tornado DDT in the corner, but takes for-friggin-ever to do it. That allows Punk to hoist him onto his shoulders. Stevie? GO TO SLEEP! And so he does. Punk covers and picks up the win.
Really good match. They worked the rib injury so smartly and Punk continued to sell it, even during his offensive flurries. About as good a non-main event television match you're likely to see any time soon. Especially on this show.
-Backstage, the New Breed looks on. Burke won't even allow Striker to speak at this point, telling him that he doesn't tolerate failure. Poor Striker.
-Commercials
Kevin Thorn (w/Ariel) v. Nunzio -
When did it change back to Nunzio? Better question…why do I care about such things? Anyway, Thorn annihilates him in the corner from the start. Including a huge biel throw that Joey Styles calls a snapmare. Yoink. Nunzio hits a jawbreaker, but Thorn shrugs it off and the onslaught continues. He moves in and Nunzio gets his legs up, locking Thorn in a headscissors. Thorn then casually picks him up and flips him to the mat with a powerbomb. Cover gets two. That Nunzio kid has moxie!
Thorn continues to whale on him, then plants him with a flapjack. He grabs a side headlock. Nunzio escapes, bouncing into the ropes. Thorn picks him up and spears him into the corner. More beatdownery! Nunzio fires back with thigh kicks and takes Thorn down with a dropkick to the knee. He heads up top and follows with a missile dropkick for two. Front facelock by Nunzio. Thorn picks him up and drops him across the top rope…Dark Kiss! That it for this one.
This was the best Kevin Thorn match ever. A good, old fashioned squash match where the guy doing the job bumped around like a nut and got in little more than some token offense. Nunzio made Thorn look KING SIZED here, so good for him.
-Condemned spot, with various WWE guys picking out other WWE talent they'd want to be stranded on the island. Miz…you're gonna die. When it came time to pick the evil mastermind, every single person picked Vince. Heh. Live the gimmick!
-Commercials
-Extreme Expose. This week's tune is "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake. You know what song I heard earlier that I like a whole bunch? The Lostprophets version of "Cry Me A River." But I digress. We get some sub-Nitro Girl level dancing (without the goddess known as Spice) and then we get back to the show.
-Hey! Let's watch that Lashley/VKM video package one more time, 'kay?
-That leads into a Lashley promo. He won't be seeing the New Breed in the ring with him tonight. It'll be Shane, Umaga and Vince. Racial equality would make things work out so that Striker will play the role of Umaga, so he's going to die hard tonight. And if Elijah Burke does the Shane 'O Mac shuffle, he'll be my favorite wrestler ever.
-The announcers run down the Judgment Day card. A PPV which is long since over by this point! Huzzah!
-The New Breed get the pre-break entrance treatment.
-Commercials
New Breed (Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Van & Matt Striker) v. Bobby Lashley -
Burke opens the match. I'm surprised that he's not feeding Striker to the wolves right off the bat. He grabs a side headlock and tries to take Lashley down, but no dice. Lashley simply won't budge. He shoots Burke into the ropes and tackles him. He follows with a delayed vertical suplex. Burke scoots into the corner and tags Cor Van. We get a big time staredown between these two. Super intensity on both sides. I'll be damned if I don't want to see these two work a feud now. Of course, they haven't locked up yet. That might ruin the entire thing.
And lockup they do, with neither guy able to get an advantage. Lashley grabs a rear waistlock, but Cor Van elbows free. He bounces off the ropes. Lashley leapfrogs him, then tackles him as well. Striker tags himself in, which doesn't seem to sit too well with Cor Van. Lashley proceeds to punch Striker in the face and dump him with a slam. He whips him into the corner. Striker goes for the floatover, but Lashley catches him. Striker hangs onto the ropes for dear life and ends up being deposited safely on the apron. No time to rest, though, as Lashley immediately knocks him to the floor.
Burke argues with the ref and gets knocked to the floor as well. The ref is distracted, though, allowing Cor Van to come in and jump Lashley from behind. One extremely awkward looking Pounce (Lashley visibly has to get himself into position to take the move) later and Lashley is on the floor. Cor Van rolls him back in as Striker tags Burke. Cover, but Lashley is in the ropes. Burke kicks away at him, working the ribs, 'natch. Burke is another really smart worker among their young guys.
Lashley fires back, but Burke drives him into the corner and hits a quick punch combo. Tag to Cor Van. He slams Lashley and goes straight into a rear chinlock. Lashley breaks. He goes for a clothesline, but Cor Van ducks it and plants him with a back suplex. Cover gets two. Tag to Burke. He comes off the second rope with a fist drop, picking up a nearfall of his own. Seated abdominal stretch. Lashley powers to his feet. Burke lands a kick, but charges into an overhead belly to belly suplex.
Cor Van tags in. Lashley meets him coming in and it's Lashley SMASH time. Cor Van wants none of that, diving into his corner and tagging Striker before bailing. Lashley yanks Striker into the ring. Corner whip and he follows with a shoulder block He levels Striker with a clothesline and plants him with a HUGE spinebuster. He follows with a spear and pins Striker. Burke? Not a happy camper.
-Speaking of Vince, he joins us via satellite. Smart move, since he broke that little "no touch" rule. He talks for awhile, but essentially says nothing. He does set up Lashley versus all three members of the New Breed as tonight's main event, though.
-Opening montage.
-Rob Van Dam gets his intro in before we go to break…
-Commercials
Rob Van Dam v. Snitsky -
Even versus RVD, we get the typical Snitsky match. He stuffs all of Van Dam's offense and alternately tosses him around and pounds him down. RVD comes back with some kicks, but misses Rolling Thunder. Snitsky goes for the big boot, but RVD ducks and he crotches himself on the top rope. A spin kick sends him to the floor. Van Dam follows, but is immediately leveled by a clothesline. Snitsky nails him with a chair and that, kiddies, is a disqualification.
-CM Punk video package. He's up next, you know!
-Commercials
CM Punk v. Stevie Richards -
Is Stevie Punk's personal job guy? I'm not complaining, certainly, since Stevie would likely be the ECW champ if I were booking things, but these two seem to hook up pretty frequently. Anyway, Punk's ribs are taped up after last week's match with Marcus Cor Van.
Stevie zeroes in on the ribs right away, but Punk circles, trying to keep his distance with kicks. He staggers Stevie and quickly rushes in, taking him over with an Exploder for a quick nearfall. He goes for a whip, but Stevie reverses, shortarming him into a kneelift to the ribs. He pulls the tape off and pounds at the ribs. Punk tries to mount a comeback, but Stevie cuts him off with a rake to the eyes. He takes Punk over with a snapmare and lays in a spine kick for two. Elevated Bow & Arrow submission by Stevie. Punk escapes, rolling into a quick cover, but Stevie is out at two.
He sends Punk into the ropes and ducks his head. Punk goes for a sunset flip, but can't pull him over. Instead, Stevie jumps up and delivers a double stomp to the gut. Cover gets two. He follows with an abdominal stretch, but Punk counters with a hiptoss. Stevie charges him in the corner, but Punk moves and he winds up being hung up in the ropes. Stevie lays in some kicks to the back of the head and plants him with an elevated neckbreaker out of the corner. Cover gets two.
In the opposite corner, he goes for his running knee strike/bulldog combo, but Stevie shrugs him off and lands a shotgun dropkick to the gut, sending Punk flying backwards into the corner. He sets up for a Tornado DDT in the corner, but takes for-friggin-ever to do it. That allows Punk to hoist him onto his shoulders. Stevie? GO TO SLEEP! And so he does. Punk covers and picks up the win.
Really good match. They worked the rib injury so smartly and Punk continued to sell it, even during his offensive flurries. About as good a non-main event television match you're likely to see any time soon. Especially on this show.
-Backstage, the New Breed looks on. Burke won't even allow Striker to speak at this point, telling him that he doesn't tolerate failure. Poor Striker.
-Commercials
Kevin Thorn (w/Ariel) v. Nunzio -
When did it change back to Nunzio? Better question…why do I care about such things? Anyway, Thorn annihilates him in the corner from the start. Including a huge biel throw that Joey Styles calls a snapmare. Yoink. Nunzio hits a jawbreaker, but Thorn shrugs it off and the onslaught continues. He moves in and Nunzio gets his legs up, locking Thorn in a headscissors. Thorn then casually picks him up and flips him to the mat with a powerbomb. Cover gets two. That Nunzio kid has moxie!
Thorn continues to whale on him, then plants him with a flapjack. He grabs a side headlock. Nunzio escapes, bouncing into the ropes. Thorn picks him up and spears him into the corner. More beatdownery! Nunzio fires back with thigh kicks and takes Thorn down with a dropkick to the knee. He heads up top and follows with a missile dropkick for two. Front facelock by Nunzio. Thorn picks him up and drops him across the top rope…Dark Kiss! That it for this one.
This was the best Kevin Thorn match ever. A good, old fashioned squash match where the guy doing the job bumped around like a nut and got in little more than some token offense. Nunzio made Thorn look KING SIZED here, so good for him.
-Condemned spot, with various WWE guys picking out other WWE talent they'd want to be stranded on the island. Miz…you're gonna die. When it came time to pick the evil mastermind, every single person picked Vince. Heh. Live the gimmick!
-Commercials
-Extreme Expose. This week's tune is "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake. You know what song I heard earlier that I like a whole bunch? The Lostprophets version of "Cry Me A River." But I digress. We get some sub-Nitro Girl level dancing (without the goddess known as Spice) and then we get back to the show.
-Hey! Let's watch that Lashley/VKM video package one more time, 'kay?
-That leads into a Lashley promo. He won't be seeing the New Breed in the ring with him tonight. It'll be Shane, Umaga and Vince. Racial equality would make things work out so that Striker will play the role of Umaga, so he's going to die hard tonight. And if Elijah Burke does the Shane 'O Mac shuffle, he'll be my favorite wrestler ever.
-The announcers run down the Judgment Day card. A PPV which is long since over by this point! Huzzah!
-The New Breed get the pre-break entrance treatment.
-Commercials
New Breed (Elijah Burke, Marcus Cor Van & Matt Striker) v. Bobby Lashley -
Burke opens the match. I'm surprised that he's not feeding Striker to the wolves right off the bat. He grabs a side headlock and tries to take Lashley down, but no dice. Lashley simply won't budge. He shoots Burke into the ropes and tackles him. He follows with a delayed vertical suplex. Burke scoots into the corner and tags Cor Van. We get a big time staredown between these two. Super intensity on both sides. I'll be damned if I don't want to see these two work a feud now. Of course, they haven't locked up yet. That might ruin the entire thing.
And lockup they do, with neither guy able to get an advantage. Lashley grabs a rear waistlock, but Cor Van elbows free. He bounces off the ropes. Lashley leapfrogs him, then tackles him as well. Striker tags himself in, which doesn't seem to sit too well with Cor Van. Lashley proceeds to punch Striker in the face and dump him with a slam. He whips him into the corner. Striker goes for the floatover, but Lashley catches him. Striker hangs onto the ropes for dear life and ends up being deposited safely on the apron. No time to rest, though, as Lashley immediately knocks him to the floor.
Burke argues with the ref and gets knocked to the floor as well. The ref is distracted, though, allowing Cor Van to come in and jump Lashley from behind. One extremely awkward looking Pounce (Lashley visibly has to get himself into position to take the move) later and Lashley is on the floor. Cor Van rolls him back in as Striker tags Burke. Cover, but Lashley is in the ropes. Burke kicks away at him, working the ribs, 'natch. Burke is another really smart worker among their young guys.
Lashley fires back, but Burke drives him into the corner and hits a quick punch combo. Tag to Cor Van. He slams Lashley and goes straight into a rear chinlock. Lashley breaks. He goes for a clothesline, but Cor Van ducks it and plants him with a back suplex. Cover gets two. Tag to Burke. He comes off the second rope with a fist drop, picking up a nearfall of his own. Seated abdominal stretch. Lashley powers to his feet. Burke lands a kick, but charges into an overhead belly to belly suplex.
Cor Van tags in. Lashley meets him coming in and it's Lashley SMASH time. Cor Van wants none of that, diving into his corner and tagging Striker before bailing. Lashley yanks Striker into the ring. Corner whip and he follows with a shoulder block He levels Striker with a clothesline and plants him with a HUGE spinebuster. He follows with a spear and pins Striker. Burke? Not a happy camper.
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