ECW on Sci-Fi (5.8.07)
I'm back. With ECW. Again. Good God, what's wrong with me? I just can't give it up. Well, actually, I give it up fairly often. Because if you want consistency with a recap, I'm not the guy whose door you knock on. Go me!
-Earlier in the day, Bobby Lashley arrived at the arena. Armando Alejandro Estrada was waiting, along with a cadre of police officers. As per Vince's orders, Lashley's services won't be needed tonight. In fact, he's not allowed in the building at all! And if he lays a finger on Estrada, you can be sure that charges will be pressed. Lashley considers this for a few seconds, then shoves Estrada's wheelchair down an incline and into a giant pile of trash. He seems happy to let the cops arrest him…
-Opening montage.
-Tonight, Rob Van Dam gets his shot at the ECW title, facing Shane McMahon, Umaga and the champ himself, Vince McMahon.
CM Punk v. Marcus Cor Van (w/Elijah Burke) -
There's a crawl on the bottom of the screen to indicate that Edge is your *new* World Heavyweight Champion. I don't read spoilers, so this made me geek out something fierce. Edge is friggin' awesome and having him show up on Smackdown will rock the casbah. At any rate, there's a match happening here.
Cor Van grabs a side headlock. Punk shoots him into the ropes, but gets tackled. We get the same sequence, but this time Punk leapfrogs him and takes Cor Van down with a leg lariat. He follows with a dropkick and Cor Van bails out. He yanks Punk out as well, nailing him. He lifts him for a slam, then rams him back/ribs first into the post. He rolls Punk back in and rolls him up for a quick nearfall. Bearhug by Cor Van. Punk tries to break free, but gets rammed into the corner for his troubles. Cor Van follows with a backbreaker and gets another two count.
Back to the bearhug. Punk manages to escape, but Cor Van tosses him with an overhead belly to belly. Cover gets two. Rear waistlock (Brock Lock?) by Cor Van. Punk charges into the corner and sidesteps at the last second, sending Cor Van in. He follows with a series of kicks and hits his high knee/bulldog combo. He's unable to follow up because of his ribs, though. Cor Van lines up for a clothesline, but Punk ducks it and scores with a neckbreaker. Nearfall for Punk.
He moves in to lift Cor Van, but gets tossed to the floor. He snaps Cor Van's throat across the top, though, then hits a springboard clothesline for two. Cor Van fires back and sits Punk up top. Punk goes for a tornado DDT, but ends up being dumped to the floor. Ref is distracted, allowing Burke to sneak in a kick to the ribs. Punk beats the count back into the ring, but quickly falls victim to the Pounce. Cover…Cor Van is your winner.
Decent match. I think Cor Van has actually become a better worker in WWE. People bitch about the WWE style being limited, but that's actually helpful to some people. I don't know that he's tall enough to ever be a main event guy with the style he works (he works far bigger than he actually is), but if they ever let him bust out the old Monty Brown charisma, he could definitely break out into a solid US/IC Title level talent for them.
-Clips from Raw show the confrontation between Edge and Mr. Kennedy, which leads us into the beat down from Edge. I don't know that I like them booking Kennedy as the brave babyface who still accepts the challenge since he's typically a pretty chickenshit heel, but I understand that the options were pretty limited in what they could do. At any rate, Edge wins and becomes Mr. Money in the Bank once again.
-Commercials
-Hype for The Condemned. I'm certainly over this now and they can stop showing these.
Sandman v. Snitsky -
Snitsky's teeth sure are an…interesting shade of yellow. Yoink! This is a Snitsky match. Sandman tries to brawl but gets stuffed at every turn. Snitsky levels him with a clothesline, follows with a big boot and that's that.
-Vince chats with Shane and Umaga about tonight. He calls RVD the "original spirit of ECW," and tells that tonight, they're going to break that spirit. Umaga flips out and scares the shit out of both of them. Awesome.
-Commercials
-The new Ozzy Osbourne track "I Don't Wanna Stop" is the Judgment Day theme. Not a good song, though I've only heard it a few times at this point. Maybe it'll grow on me.
-Kelly's Expose. They dance to "Toxic" by Britney Spears. Meh.
-Clips from the ECW Title match at Backlash, leading into Raw clips with Vince taunting Lashley, leading into the Lashley segment from earlier.
-Elijah Burke chats with Matt Striker. He tells Striker that he let the New Breed down last week and that Striker needs to come out with him for his match so he can show Striker how it's done.
-Commercials
Brian Major (w/Brett Major) v. Elijah Burke (w/Matt Striker) -
I have no idea who the Major Brothers are. That disturbs me for some reason, since I watch a metric assload of indy wrestling. I hate not knowing who the new dudes are. I do, however, know that Elijah Burke rules the school and has become one of my primary reasons for watching this show.
First, we get clips from last week's show, with the Major Bros. pulling the upset on Striker and…Cor Van, I think? Don't feel like looking that up, so I'm going by memory. That's always a scary proposition.
They trade slaps and Burke wants no part of that, doubling Major over with a kick to the gut. He follows with a series of kneelifts, then goes for a whip. He ducks his head and Major leapfrogs him. He rolls him up in a really awkward looking sunset flip and gets two. Backslide gets him another nearfall. Burke comes back punching and drops a knee. He levels Major with a shortarm clothesline. Major fires back, but throwing hands with a trained boxer probably isn't the smartest tactic one could take. Burke covers up, then reverses Major into the corner. He goes for a crossbody, but Burke avoids him. He spikes Major with the Elijah Experience and this one is over.
-Main event is next, after all of that assorted stuff that's actually next.
-Commercials
-Ariel gives Kevin Thorn a tarot reading. His future holds chaos and turmoil, apparently. He cuts her off and says that his future isn't with the New Breed or in the cards. His future is in fresh blood. Ariel is wearing a Cobra Kai t-shirt. Even with that hideous blonde streak, she's the bee's knees.
-Shane McMahon gives intros to his partners.
-Commercials
Shane McMahon, Umaga & Vince McMahon v. Rob Van Dam - ECW Title -
Shane starts the match. They bust out some indy matwork. Shane armdrags Van Dam and we have ourselves a standoff. Rear waistlock chained into a hammerlock by Shane. Should he really be outwrestling the actual talent? RVD counters into a body scissors rollup and gets two. He armdrags Shane and tries to take his head off with a spin kick. Shane moves, but apparently it's time to get the hell outta Dodge. But wait! He actually feigns the tag to Umaga and charges. RVD is waiting, though, and this time the spin kick connects! He whips Shane into the corner and hits his tumbling monkey flip.
Shane stumbles into the opposite corner. Van Dam charges in with a kick. Umaga tries to come in, but RVD kicks the ropes, crotching him. He follows with a dropkick that sends Umaga to the floor. RVD slides out, tripping up Shane in the process. He makes a beeline towards Vince. Umaga tries to cut him off, but eats a superkick. RVD grabs Vince, but Shane connects with a baseball slide dropkick. Umaga mauls him for a bit, then rolls him back in. Armbar by Shane. They run through a sloppy reversal sequence that ends with Van Dam kicking Shane's face clean off!
He goes for Rolling Thunder, but Umaga pulls down the top rope and Van Dam spills to the floor. Umaga whips him into the steps and rolls him back in. Tag to Umaga. He drops a leg and Vince calls for the tag. He comes in and quickly rolls RVD up, but can only get two. Tag to Shane. He drops a few elbows and tags Umaga. RVD fires back, but catches Shane's knees to the back when he tries to bounce off the ropes. Van Dam stumbles into Umaga and gets planted with a Samoan Drop. Vince tags in…two count.
Umaga tags back in. He goes for the ass splash in the corner, but Van Dam pops up and dropkicks him in the knee. He staggers Umaga with a series of kicks and forearms, eventually taking him down to one knee with a dropkick. Shane runs in, but gets tossed right back out. RVD turns and gets goozled. He breaks the grip with a kick and heads up top. Shane crotches him. He tags in and spikes RVD with a superplex. Tag to Umaga. Splash off the top! Samoan Spike! Vince tags in and gets the win!
Tommy Dreamer and Sabu run out to prevent a beat down. The heels celebrate as we fade out…
Decent match, actually. As always, Shane was awesome and could have been one of the better workers in the company if he wasn't a McMahon. Umaga isn't quite the killing machine he used to be, but he's really good and I consistently enjoy him more than just about anyone on Raw. Vince…is Vince. Enough said. Anyway, this was fast paced and the killed Van Dam real good, so there's not really anything they could have done to make this more interesting. Save for Vince taking a frogsplash, I guess, but that seems pretty unlikely for some bizarre reason!
-Earlier in the day, Bobby Lashley arrived at the arena. Armando Alejandro Estrada was waiting, along with a cadre of police officers. As per Vince's orders, Lashley's services won't be needed tonight. In fact, he's not allowed in the building at all! And if he lays a finger on Estrada, you can be sure that charges will be pressed. Lashley considers this for a few seconds, then shoves Estrada's wheelchair down an incline and into a giant pile of trash. He seems happy to let the cops arrest him…
-Opening montage.
-Tonight, Rob Van Dam gets his shot at the ECW title, facing Shane McMahon, Umaga and the champ himself, Vince McMahon.
CM Punk v. Marcus Cor Van (w/Elijah Burke) -
There's a crawl on the bottom of the screen to indicate that Edge is your *new* World Heavyweight Champion. I don't read spoilers, so this made me geek out something fierce. Edge is friggin' awesome and having him show up on Smackdown will rock the casbah. At any rate, there's a match happening here.
Cor Van grabs a side headlock. Punk shoots him into the ropes, but gets tackled. We get the same sequence, but this time Punk leapfrogs him and takes Cor Van down with a leg lariat. He follows with a dropkick and Cor Van bails out. He yanks Punk out as well, nailing him. He lifts him for a slam, then rams him back/ribs first into the post. He rolls Punk back in and rolls him up for a quick nearfall. Bearhug by Cor Van. Punk tries to break free, but gets rammed into the corner for his troubles. Cor Van follows with a backbreaker and gets another two count.
Back to the bearhug. Punk manages to escape, but Cor Van tosses him with an overhead belly to belly. Cover gets two. Rear waistlock (Brock Lock?) by Cor Van. Punk charges into the corner and sidesteps at the last second, sending Cor Van in. He follows with a series of kicks and hits his high knee/bulldog combo. He's unable to follow up because of his ribs, though. Cor Van lines up for a clothesline, but Punk ducks it and scores with a neckbreaker. Nearfall for Punk.
He moves in to lift Cor Van, but gets tossed to the floor. He snaps Cor Van's throat across the top, though, then hits a springboard clothesline for two. Cor Van fires back and sits Punk up top. Punk goes for a tornado DDT, but ends up being dumped to the floor. Ref is distracted, allowing Burke to sneak in a kick to the ribs. Punk beats the count back into the ring, but quickly falls victim to the Pounce. Cover…Cor Van is your winner.
Decent match. I think Cor Van has actually become a better worker in WWE. People bitch about the WWE style being limited, but that's actually helpful to some people. I don't know that he's tall enough to ever be a main event guy with the style he works (he works far bigger than he actually is), but if they ever let him bust out the old Monty Brown charisma, he could definitely break out into a solid US/IC Title level talent for them.
-Clips from Raw show the confrontation between Edge and Mr. Kennedy, which leads us into the beat down from Edge. I don't know that I like them booking Kennedy as the brave babyface who still accepts the challenge since he's typically a pretty chickenshit heel, but I understand that the options were pretty limited in what they could do. At any rate, Edge wins and becomes Mr. Money in the Bank once again.
-Commercials
-Hype for The Condemned. I'm certainly over this now and they can stop showing these.
Sandman v. Snitsky -
Snitsky's teeth sure are an…interesting shade of yellow. Yoink! This is a Snitsky match. Sandman tries to brawl but gets stuffed at every turn. Snitsky levels him with a clothesline, follows with a big boot and that's that.
-Vince chats with Shane and Umaga about tonight. He calls RVD the "original spirit of ECW," and tells that tonight, they're going to break that spirit. Umaga flips out and scares the shit out of both of them. Awesome.
-Commercials
-The new Ozzy Osbourne track "I Don't Wanna Stop" is the Judgment Day theme. Not a good song, though I've only heard it a few times at this point. Maybe it'll grow on me.
-Kelly's Expose. They dance to "Toxic" by Britney Spears. Meh.
-Clips from the ECW Title match at Backlash, leading into Raw clips with Vince taunting Lashley, leading into the Lashley segment from earlier.
-Elijah Burke chats with Matt Striker. He tells Striker that he let the New Breed down last week and that Striker needs to come out with him for his match so he can show Striker how it's done.
-Commercials
Brian Major (w/Brett Major) v. Elijah Burke (w/Matt Striker) -
I have no idea who the Major Brothers are. That disturbs me for some reason, since I watch a metric assload of indy wrestling. I hate not knowing who the new dudes are. I do, however, know that Elijah Burke rules the school and has become one of my primary reasons for watching this show.
First, we get clips from last week's show, with the Major Bros. pulling the upset on Striker and…Cor Van, I think? Don't feel like looking that up, so I'm going by memory. That's always a scary proposition.
They trade slaps and Burke wants no part of that, doubling Major over with a kick to the gut. He follows with a series of kneelifts, then goes for a whip. He ducks his head and Major leapfrogs him. He rolls him up in a really awkward looking sunset flip and gets two. Backslide gets him another nearfall. Burke comes back punching and drops a knee. He levels Major with a shortarm clothesline. Major fires back, but throwing hands with a trained boxer probably isn't the smartest tactic one could take. Burke covers up, then reverses Major into the corner. He goes for a crossbody, but Burke avoids him. He spikes Major with the Elijah Experience and this one is over.
-Main event is next, after all of that assorted stuff that's actually next.
-Commercials
-Ariel gives Kevin Thorn a tarot reading. His future holds chaos and turmoil, apparently. He cuts her off and says that his future isn't with the New Breed or in the cards. His future is in fresh blood. Ariel is wearing a Cobra Kai t-shirt. Even with that hideous blonde streak, she's the bee's knees.
-Shane McMahon gives intros to his partners.
-Commercials
Shane McMahon, Umaga & Vince McMahon v. Rob Van Dam - ECW Title -
Shane starts the match. They bust out some indy matwork. Shane armdrags Van Dam and we have ourselves a standoff. Rear waistlock chained into a hammerlock by Shane. Should he really be outwrestling the actual talent? RVD counters into a body scissors rollup and gets two. He armdrags Shane and tries to take his head off with a spin kick. Shane moves, but apparently it's time to get the hell outta Dodge. But wait! He actually feigns the tag to Umaga and charges. RVD is waiting, though, and this time the spin kick connects! He whips Shane into the corner and hits his tumbling monkey flip.
Shane stumbles into the opposite corner. Van Dam charges in with a kick. Umaga tries to come in, but RVD kicks the ropes, crotching him. He follows with a dropkick that sends Umaga to the floor. RVD slides out, tripping up Shane in the process. He makes a beeline towards Vince. Umaga tries to cut him off, but eats a superkick. RVD grabs Vince, but Shane connects with a baseball slide dropkick. Umaga mauls him for a bit, then rolls him back in. Armbar by Shane. They run through a sloppy reversal sequence that ends with Van Dam kicking Shane's face clean off!
He goes for Rolling Thunder, but Umaga pulls down the top rope and Van Dam spills to the floor. Umaga whips him into the steps and rolls him back in. Tag to Umaga. He drops a leg and Vince calls for the tag. He comes in and quickly rolls RVD up, but can only get two. Tag to Shane. He drops a few elbows and tags Umaga. RVD fires back, but catches Shane's knees to the back when he tries to bounce off the ropes. Van Dam stumbles into Umaga and gets planted with a Samoan Drop. Vince tags in…two count.
Umaga tags back in. He goes for the ass splash in the corner, but Van Dam pops up and dropkicks him in the knee. He staggers Umaga with a series of kicks and forearms, eventually taking him down to one knee with a dropkick. Shane runs in, but gets tossed right back out. RVD turns and gets goozled. He breaks the grip with a kick and heads up top. Shane crotches him. He tags in and spikes RVD with a superplex. Tag to Umaga. Splash off the top! Samoan Spike! Vince tags in and gets the win!
Tommy Dreamer and Sabu run out to prevent a beat down. The heels celebrate as we fade out…
Decent match, actually. As always, Shane was awesome and could have been one of the better workers in the company if he wasn't a McMahon. Umaga isn't quite the killing machine he used to be, but he's really good and I consistently enjoy him more than just about anyone on Raw. Vince…is Vince. Enough said. Anyway, this was fast paced and the killed Van Dam real good, so there's not really anything they could have done to make this more interesting. Save for Vince taking a frogsplash, I guess, but that seems pretty unlikely for some bizarre reason!
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