Heart Punch

FOR: HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE FOR: Randy's promo. FOR: Chavo! AGAINST: Chavo? AGAINST: Tatanka? FOR: Michael Cole, geographer. FOR: Melina's outfit. FOR: Cole bringing up Tatanka's undefeated run. AGAINST: No, really, baby doll, that's gotta stop. FOR: The near-fall on the sunset flip. FOR: Tazz: "Well, it looks pretty good, but no, it's not fair." FOR: Eddie in the HOF. FOR: Booker's suit. FOR: Booker: "Who signed this guy? Why is he in this company?" Questions I ask myself every day, Book. Every. Single. Day. FOR: The fast-forward button. FOR: Cole: "Booker's over there." AGAINST: That. FOR: Cole trying to put Tazz's hand in the worms. FOR: Teddy adding Rey to the WrestleMania main event. FOR: Kristal calling Jillian's bluff, if that's what that was. FOR: Long's plan to force Helms to defend the Cruiserweight title every week. AGAINST: The increasing hyperbole fo...

Lawler: dies Butch: All right, I was just hoping. Joey: looks around CATFIGHT! CATFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHT! Vince: Why I oughta... Victoria: Spider's Web on Mickie Candice: Hi, Torrie! Torrie: Thanks for the sa Candice: eliminates Torrie Carlito: Dat...dat's cool. Masters: Duh, I don't think it's cool. Carlito: Quiet, you. Ashley & Maria: Time to piss off the Net. Ashley & Maria: eliminate Victoria Victoria: Whatever. I got pizza to make. Maria: Aww, I like the Net! It was a fun movie! Ashley: looks at Maria Maria: broncobusters Candice The Net: likes Maria again Mickie: throws out Maria. YOU! throttles Ashley Candice: Say, girls.... points to Playboy contract Ashley: Aww, man... Mickie: Dammit... Candice: jumps Mickie & Ashley to win And that is why evil will always beat good, because good is dumb. Alter Bridge: ON THIS DAY I SEE CLEARLY... Everybody: WTF, mate and slut? Edge: I'm going to give you mouthbreathers way too much benefit of t...

AGAINST: Sylvan's still around? FOR: Sylvan using the ropes for leverage on the backbreaker after Rey's missed bronco buster. FOR: Randy's promo. AGAINST: People laughing after Henry says he's gonna take Undertaker out. That's not good for the rep. FOR: Cole: "Why are we gonna watch this stuff again?" AGAINST: Wasn't Helms supposed to face Kid Kash this week? (EDIT: WWE.com says "family emergency", so that's all right then.) FOR: Helms's coat. As cool as his tights aren't. FOR: This match. AGAINST: Scotty taking so long. FOR: Finisher Bingo~~~~ FOR: Only in wrestling can you get cheers by pulling out a sword. FOR: Kennedy: "We need a pirate in this business." AGAINST: Why is JBL still wearing his hat? WHAT?: Sharmell: "Michael Cole, you scream like a little girl with an ingrown toenail." Cole: "No, that's the guy on Raw." What's he mean by that? AGAINST: Theye really need t...

Credit: Wrestling Observer Mike "Johnny Grunge" Durham was pronounced dead on arrival at an Atlanta area hospital this morning. The only available details were he was at a friend's house in Peachtree City, GA, and was gasping for air and rushed to the hospital. The preliminary diagnosis from the hospital is that it was said to have to do with complications from sleep apnea. Grunge and the late Rocco Rock (Ted Petty), as the tag team of Public Enemy, were the first major stars created by ECW in a program against The Funk Brothers. They became ECW's most popular act, to the point they were subject to a bidding war of sorts between WCW and WWF. However, taken out of the ECW environment, they weren't as successful. Grunge, whose age is believed to be 39, was said by friends to have never been the same since Petty's death.

Motorhead: Time to face the inevitabllllllllllle! Triple H: Muahahaha. Big Show: SKILLET Triple H: Ow. Big Show: Mmm...irony. Triple H: FLOP. Whip! Big Show: 265 is less than 500, dumbass! Post: DING! Triple H: SMRT. Bleed, fatass, bleed! Big Show: RAR! Triple H: GHH. I've got a better three letters around here somewhere...DDT! Big Show: No. I'm getting sleepy. Triple H: points to contract, facebuster, PEDIGREE Power corrupts. Absolute power is the shit. Big Show: 1989....a number...another summer... Triple H: ...huh? Big Show: violates two of Newton's laws by actually kicking out of the Pedigree Triple H: W. T. F. Nova: That's MY move! Vince: I invented owning you. Shut up. Some Guy In Hollywood: raises eyebrow That's impressive. Big Show: One floor, going down. Triple H: Rope! WHEW! Ref: 10! Everyone: WTF? I thought that rule went out with the Western States Heritage Title! Big Show: not for the first time in his life, clears the table Triple H: ...

Dogs: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF Butch: Oh, right. Dog: That's right, Butch. You know, tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Find your soulmate. Butch: Well, I du-- wait a minute! Dogs can't talk! Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF Butch: Daaaaaaaaaaamn straight!

(Doing this from memory since the power went out before I could post it.) FOR: Anyone else catch the thumbs-up JBL gave Orlando when he entered the ring? AGAINST: The lack of coherent action in this match. AGAINST: Did they re-edit that one near-fall for Benoit that JBL broke up? I was sure that was a three-count. FOR: JBL double-crossing Orlando. FOR: Orlando getting his back. FOR: Benoit wins! And Booker's livid. FOR: Teddy Long taking away all of Booker's ways out by forcing him to either face Benoit or forfeit the belt. FOR: Jillian accepting Lashley's challenge on JBL's behalf... and JBL not looking all that happy about it. AGAINST: Don't do it, Matt. Remember what happened with the last woman you got involved with on-camera. Don't do it. AGAINST: Do we really need these close-ups on Henry's face? AGAINST: Cole and Tazz talking up UT/Henry like it's something worth watching. FOR: Yay! MNM/London and Kendrick! I've been waiting f...

People seem to like them some Samoa Joe. He's the new "it" guy in wrestling, so to speak. And why not? Great worker, seems like a nice guy out of the ring and oh yeah...he'll EAT YOUR SOUL if you dare disagree. Samoa Joe v. Necro Butcher (IWA Mid-South: Something to Prove - 6.11.05) This is, quite possibly, my favorite match from 2005. Great backstory, with Necro & Madman Pondo kicking the shit out of two ROH trainees (Anthony Franco/Matt Turner) at last year's CHIKARA World Tag Grand Prix and Joe promising to literally kill Necro because of it. This is just a flat out bar fight. Necro takes a hell of a beating here, including an improbable sounding powerslam onto his *forehead*, but it's interesting to see him ready for more after the finish while Joe quickly gets to steppin'. Say what you will about Necro, but the man will make you believe. I've said it in the past, but I really hope he phases out of the slice and dice stuff and focuses on his st...

Alter Bridge: ON THIS DAY I SEE CLEARLY... Maria: ...uh... Edge: Shut up. Crowd: BOO! Edge: smirk Next week I gets mine. I traded in short-term pain for long-term gain. That thing between your ears doesn't just keep hats warm, people; it serves a purpose. Crowd: U SUK! Edge: Bunch of rednecks can't even spell right. Don't say former. Maria: Former. Edge: You stupid cu-- Lita: FUTURE. See, former bad. Future? Good! C'monnnn. Maria: ...future. Side of the Milk Carton: Uh-oh, we just lost one. Hacksaw Jim Duggan: HOOOOOOO! Edge: WTFMF? Crowd: parties like it's 1985 Edge: Uh....WITGDHITSMF?! Hacksaw: Wellll... Edge: No. Hacksaw: ...wellllll.... Big Show: waits Edge: No. And that goes double for you, Jim. Hacksaw: ......welllllllllllll.... Edge: Don't make me... Hacksaw: Sorry. Edge: All right. Now then, Hacksaw: WELLLLLLLLLLLLL Lita's a ho she's a big fat ho she's the biggest ho in the whole wide world she's a big ol ho if there ever was ...

FOR: Well, that's out of the way. AGAINST: Orton as sore loser? FOR: Orton taking a shot at Rey's confidence. AGAINST: Well, there it is. The other problem with this, the obvious aside, is that it doesn't fit Randy's character at all. He's a cocky punk, not an insensitive asshole. It doesn't even jive with the "short tempered" bit Tazz was trying to push two weeks ago during the Orlando Jordan match. The "You don't belong in this position" stuff was fine, but I don't buy Randy going there. The only person on the roster who could go there is Triple H. FOR: "No one likes you, Cole." FOR: "Did you just say Mexican monkey flip?" FOR: Crazy's vault over Korderas. FOR: Tazz: "Well, first of all, what's wrong with a headscissors by Melina?" AGAINST: GET OFF MY KOOL-AID, TAZZ. FOR: Tazz agrees with me about Melina's shrieking. "It's a little annoying." FOR: Cole: "I...

I'm considering doing a weekly post where I choose a random indy/puro guy and post a few nifty matches that I think people here will dig. Mostly from Youtube.com , though I know of a few other spots to find stuff as well. Maybe, just maybe, people would want to comment on said matches. Or maybe review them or something. Wait...that would be nutty. There are instructions out there on how to actually download from youtube, but I'll leave that much up to you, mostly because I'm jealous of your 'net connection that actually allows you to download this stuff. Bastids. I'll start with Low Ki, simply because the Ki/KENTA match got posted this week and it's getting crazy hype. Low Ki v. KENTA (ROH: Final Battle '05 - 12.17.05) Here Low Ki/Samoa Joe v. Kenta Kobashi/Homicide (ROH: Unforgettable - 10.2.05) Here Low Ki/Brian Danielson v. Samoa Joe/Jushin Lyger (ROH: Weekend of Thunder Night 2 - 11.6.04) Here Low Ki v. AJ Styles (Zero One U$A PPV - 1/5/03) Here Lemme kn...