ROH: The Era of Honor Begins (2.23.02) - Part One

So, while my PC was acting up, I watched a shitload of the wrestling. I even wrote about some of it, crazily enough! Let's see if I can save Matt from having to carry things around here. This is just the first half of the recap, as it's all I've had time to type up thus far and I need to hit the sack. Besides, cutting it in half will keep it from being 100 pages long. Hooray for false brevity!

I'll open with the inaugural Ring of Honor show, The Era of Honor Begins. Because it was the first tape I picked up, basically. I don't particularly enjoy the ROH product because I generally find it quite bland. Wrestling without HATE has never done anything for me. Don't get me wrong, they put on some great matches and have a ton of guys I like to watch, but there's seemingly no emotion to the shows and they take themselves way too seriously. And yeah, the hardcore fanbase scares me. Err...I think I lost my train of thought here. Going off on tangents rules!

The beginning of my tape is cut off for some reason. So we miss Da Hit Squad firing up the crowd before the show, then squashing the ever loving shit out of the Christopher Street Connection. The CSC do an amazingly over the top flamboyantly gay gimmick that has to be seen to be believed. At this point, they're managed by Alison Danger (Steve Corino's sister, for the four people who care about such things), who I've always thought is really cute, so yay for that.

-My tape starts with the tail end of a promo from the Briscoe Brothers. Jay Briscoe, specifically, as Mark must be mute or something. They plan to dominate both the singles and tag scene.

-Amazing Red promo. He tells us to expect the unexpected. And that's about it. Not a wordy fellow by any means.

Jay Briscoe (w/Mark Briscoe) v. The Amazing Red -

Ugh. I had forgotten how ugly the red canvas that ROH used was. Seriously, it distracts me from the matches. Eric Gargiulo and Steve Corino are doing commentary. Some people like Gargiulo. I'm not one of them. To me, at least, he detracts from the action instead of adding to it. This being ROH, we get the prematch handshake. And then it's go time.

Red opens with a rear waistlock takedown. Briscoe counters and we have the first of what I'm sure will be thousands of indy standoffs tonight. BOO! Crowd pops like trained monkeys. Not to demean the workers, but it was a friggin' rear waistlock reversal sequence. Why are people cheering like it's the best thing to ever happen in a wrestling ring? Gah. I loves me some wrestling, but I sure do hate me some wrestling fans. Anyway, Jay goes for a snapmare. Red lands on his feet, though. He sweeps Jay's leg and covers for one. Indy standoff. Insert a nice frowny face right about here.

Both guys trade counters, with Briscoe tackling Red. A quick leapfrog sequence ends with Jay tossing Red over the top rope. Briscoe goes for a pescado, which I can only assume misses, as the camera didn't find it important enough to film. Red rolls him into the ring and lays in some strikes. Jay sends him into the ropes and hits a leg lariat. He whips Red into the ropes. Red slides between his legs and connects with a dropkick. Jay backs off, offering a hand. He then punches Red in the face. Yeah...violence!

Jay goes for a whip. Red shortarms him, hitting a flippity floppity spinkick for two. Jay reverses a corner whip, but ends up charging into a boot. Red goes for a tornado DDT, but gets shrugged off. He charges into the corner, kicking off of the ropes and again looking for a tornado DDT. Briscoe catches him, though, sitting him up top. Muscle Buster by Jay! Crowd geeks out and so do I. Cover gets two. Jay heads up top. He leaps into a gut kick. Brainbuster by Red. He covers and picks up a nearfall of his own.

Red goes for a whip, which is blocked. Red completely whiffs on a kick, but Jay sells it anyway. I mention a relatively minor botch simply because they catch it on a super closeup. You'd think that they'd want to edit that sort of thing out. I mean really...he missed by several *feet*. Red connects with a spin kick. He bounces off the ropes, but charges into a Yakuza kick from Jay.

He sets up for the Jay Driller (double underhook piledriver), but Red blocks it and counters into a backdrop. Jay bridges out of the cover. He rolls through, again looking for the Jay Driller. Red punches free and goes for a 'rana. Jay catches him. He awkwardly manages to spike him with a vicious Jay Driller, which Red sells by flopping around like a fish. Jay covers, but Red gets his foot in the ropes. Way to kill a brutal finisher on your debut show!

Jay heads up top. Red hits the ropes, crotching Briscoe. I'm really not sure what it is they're trying to set up, but after several moments of goofiness, Briscoe hits a really contrived looking midair spear. He follows with a half and half suplex, but misses a senton. Red quickly hits the Red Alert. He follows with a standing SSP and gets the win!

This, essentially, is both everything that's right and wrong about indy wrestling circa 2002. Lots of innovation, fast paced and just plain fun. On the other hand, it was overly contrived, had a ton of random huge bumps that neither guy bothered to sell and that didn't even make sense in the context of the match. Eh.

-Low Ki promo. You've heard one, you've heard them all. Literally, since he says exactly the same thing in EVERY promo! Until 2004 or so, anyway, when he started the "gangsta" Ki shtick and officially became awesome once again.

-Homicide promo from the hood. Boogalou is with him. 'Cide promises that the Natural Born Sinners will bring the streets to ROH. He also finds a rubber chicken at the spot where his childhood home once stood. Well okay then!

-Xavier tries to cheer up "Towel Boy" Eric Tuttle, who wasn't booked on the show.

-Scoot Andrews promo. He's going to use Xavier as a stepping stone, as 2002 will be his year. Yeah...that didn't work out so well.

Xavier v. Scoot Andrews -

Xavier immediately goes to work on the arm. They counter back and forth for a bit. Scoot armdrags Xavier and locks him in an armbar. Xavier fights to his feet. He monkey flips Scoot and grabs an armbar. Scoot sends him into the ropes, but gets tackled. He slams Xavier, but gets kicked off. Indy standoff and whatnot. Let's move ahead, as this match is boring me and I can't imagine I have a ton of closet Scoot Andrews fans as readers. But you what would be awesome. If Scoot Andrews himself was a big fan of mine and I totally just offended him. Ah...the goofball stuff that runs through my head is much more interesting than this match. Much scarier as well.

Anyway, after a healthy dose of the fast forward button, Xavier whips Scoot into the corner. He goes for a bulldog on the rebound, but eats a clothesline. Cover gets two. Scoot slams him, but misses a legdrop off the top. Xavier punches away at him and drops an elbow. He pulls him to his feet and nails him with a stiff forearm, picking up a nearfall. He backs Scoot into the corner and lays in a series of Muay Thai style jumping knee strikes. Saito suplex gets two.

Scoot reverses a whip. Xavier goes for a sunset flip. Scoot pulls him up and drops him with an inverted DDT for two. He hits a pumphandle Island Driver (which he calls the Force of Nature), but Xavier is in the ropes. He rolls to the floor as Scoot argues with the referee. He finally tosses Xavier back in and picks up a two count, then argues with the ref some more. Xavier quickly rolls him up, but can only get two. He punches away at Scoot, but is cut off by a forearm to the back of the neck. He sets up for another Force of Nature, but Xavier slips away. He hits a *wicked* neckbreaker and gets the win.

This wasn't bad. It just ran a bit long and wasn't very exciting. Eh. This show hasn't been as good as I remembered it.

-The Natural Born Sinners clear the locker room with a chainsaw.

Boogie Knights v. Natural Born Sinners -

Boogalou opens the match with a spinebuster to Danny Drake. He grabs a jujigatame as Corino puts over that the Sinners might be street thugs, but they're street thugs that will stretch you in the ring. Drake rolls to his stomach and reaches the ropes. Tag to Mike Tobin. Gargiulo says that the rubber chicken from earlier is a symbol that Homicide, "has nothing to go home to." Wow. Armdrag by Boogalou, who goes to work on Tobin's arm. Tag to Drake. He charges in, right into a drop toehold. Boogalou locks a double chickenwing and rolls him onto his back for two. Tag to Homicide.

Boogalou whips Drake into the corner. He then whips Homicide into the corner, who connects with a running Yakuza kick. He tosses Drake to Boogalou...Exploder. Tobin breaks up the cover. Boogalou tags back in. The Sinners stuff powerbomb Drake across Boogalou's knee. Nasty. Tobin again breaks up the cover. Boogalous clotheslines Drake over the top rope. Tobin runs in. Homicide takes him down with a drop toehold. At ringside, Boogalou sits Drake in a chair.

Homicide pretty much misses a tope con hilo, doing more damage to the railing than he does Drake. He and Boogalou celebrate, only to be taken out by a pescado from Tobin! Homicide comes right back, reversing a whip and sending Tobin into the post. Boogalou rolls Drake into the ring. He suplexes him near the corner, allowing Homicide to come off the top with a double stomp. Boogalou tags in.

Not sure what they're going for, but Boogalou hoists Drake up for a powerbomb, but ends up dropping him into the ropes. He sets up for another Exploder, but Drake counters into an inverted DDT. Cover, but Homicide breaks it up. Drake shortarms Boogalou into a Rydeen Bomb and tags Tobin. He comes in with a slingshot somersault senton and picks up a nearfall.

Boogalou comes right back, spiking Tobin with a Fisherman's Buster. Both guys tag. Homicide gives Drake a Manhattan Drop and follows with a straight kick to the face. Diamond Cutter to Tobin. 'Cide whips Drake into the corner and charges in with a forearm. Boogalou comes in and the Sinners hit a Lariat-assisted half and half suplex (called South of Heaven?). Shit. They might as well tape of the ring, because this is turning into a crime scene.

Homicide grabs the rubber chicken and beats the hell out of both Knights. Referee H.C. Loc ends up stopping the match, awarding it to the Knights by DQ. Sinners get in his face, but he won't back down. So they murder his ass, too. Including the debut of Homicide's infamous ghetto fork. He carves Loc up and leaves him a bloody mess. Then spikes him with a Cop Killer for good measure. Just to make sure that he stays dead, I guess.

This was a really fun match. Pretty much a squash to get the Sinners over as ghetto killing machines, who are just as likely to tear your arm off as they are to carve you up with a fork. The Knights took their beating like men, though.

-Backstage, the Boogie Knights try to get outta Dodge before the Sinners finish them off.

-Elsewhere, the Christopher Street Connection lick their wounds. Not literally, thankfully. Spanky dances by in the background, mugging for the camera. Buff E. wants him and says that the CSC will like it in ROH...

-In the ring, Eric Tuttle cleans the ropes, which gets as big a pop as anything on the show thus far. Those goofy Philly fans...

-Mikey Whipwreck comes out to referee the next match.

Quiet Storm, Chris Devine & Brian XL v. Spanish Announce Team & ? - Ultimate Aerial Elimination -

I guess this is supposed to be a 5-way elimination, but Mikey calls out Red and it turns into a six man tag. The story is that all of these guys are Whipwreck trainees, save for Brian XL, who Mikey refers to as Lil' Bow Wow. Forgive me, but I have zero interest in recapping or even rewatching this match. I dig the flippity floppity highflying stuff as much as the next guy, but generally, matches between these six guys are ludicrous. No one sells a damn thing, they blow every other spot and the SAT like to use super brutal life ending finishers as transition spots. ROLLING PILEDRIVERS SHOULDN'T RESULT IN A ONE COUNT! EVER! They're also fond of contrived 6-way spots that require four guys to stand around for thirty seconds while the other two get into position.

I just can't watch this, lest I fall victim to the dreaded head explody. But I'll throw you guys a bone and say that Quiet Storm wins, beating Joel Maximo with the Storm Cradle Driver. Since I was talking about ridiculously contrived moves and all. But he doesn't yell out the name of his finisher in his best death metal growl before hitting it, so I'm guessing that Joel could have kicked out if he really tried.

-Backstage, the Sinners are quite angry.

-Prince Nana asks Rob Feinstein who he's wrestling. Feinstein tells him to get to the ring. He then finds Eric Tuttle backstage and tells him he's getting a shot. Steve Corino tells him to go out and get himself over.

Prince Nana v. "Towel Boy" Eric Tuttle -

Tuttle cleans the ropes before the match. He turns and eats a lariat from Nana. Nana follows up with a running clothesline in the corner, then hits his big ass splash. Reverse Tiger Suplex ends it.

However much Nana sucked at this point, he RULES THE WORLD now, so all is forgiven.

-Backstage, the TWA guys huddle. Spanky mugs for the camera some more.

To be continued...

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