ECW on Sci-Fi (11.7.06)
-Redundant clips from a show I've already seen.
-Opening montage that fails to open the show. Crazy talk!
-Later tonight, more Elimination Chamber qualifiers. To be more specific, Test v. Tommy Dreamer and CM Punk v. Mike Knox. Speaking of that...
CM Punk v. Mike Knox (w/Kelly Kelly) - Elim. Chamber Qualifier -
Knox sends K² to the back before the match can even start. He gets all up in Punk's grill. Punk quickly rolls him up for a nearfall. Oh, you sly devil. Knox backs him into the corner and punches away at him. Punk comes right back with forearms. He sends Knox into the ropes and ducks his head. Knox kicks him, but winds up walking into a dropkick. Punk takes him over with a snapmare, then dropkicks him in the spine. That's just mean.
Another series of forearms in the corner. The ref pulls Punk away, allowing Knox to yank him down by the hair. He sends Punk into the corner. Punk floats over, locking Knox in his hanging Octopus. He follows with a springboard clothesline and Knox bails. Punk gives chase. Knox rolls in and tries to cut him off with an elbowdrop, but there's no one home. Oklahoma Roll by Punk is good for two.
Punk goes for the dreaded springboard something or another, but Knox grabs his tights and pulls him backwards into a powerbomb. He covers, but Punk is out at two. Knox delivers a backbreaker and stretches Punk across his knee. Punk frees himself with a series of knees, but eats a pump kick. Another nearfall for Knox. He locks Punk in a sleeper.
Punk shoots him into the ropes and goes for a 'rana. Knox catches him, countering into a powerbomb for another nearfall. He misses a charge in the corner, though, allowing Punk to come back with a series of kicks. Knox reverses a whip and ducks his head. Punk rolls over and drops him with strikes.
He sends Knox chestfirst into the corner, then plants him with a running STO on the rebound. He hits his running knee in the corner, but Knox counters out of the bulldog, hitting a nifty legsweep backbreaker. Cover gets two. He sits Punk up top, but gets shoved away. Crossbody by Punk. KENTA Rush --> Uranage --> Anaconda Vice --> Knox taps.
This was pretty decent. Or better than I expected, at any rate. Maybe Knox is better than I thought.
-Coming up next...a HUGE announcement from Paul Heyman.
-Commercials. The Dawn of the Dead remake is this week's movie. That was soooooo much better than I thought it'd be. I guess "remake" doesn't have to be a dirty word in the right hands.
-Rebecca interviews ECW newcomers, Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay. That's like eight steps up from Khali. At any rate, Burke talks, yet has nothing to say. Quite a paradox.
-Paul Heyman is out. He actually has announcement(s) to make. Plural. First, he's going to team with Big Show in the main event to face Van Dam and Holly. Second, he has an open contract for the final slot in the Elimination Chamber. Will someone from ECW sign it? Raw? Smackdown? We'll find out next week!
-Commercials
Little Guido (w/Trinity) v. Daivari (w/Great Khali) -
Daivari jumps Guido and takes control early. He goes for a double leg, but Guido counters into a sunset flip, picking up a nearfall. Daivari pops up and levels him with a clothesline, getting a two count of his own. Guido tries to mount a comeback, but Daivari rakes his eyes. He sends Guido into the corner, but charges into a back elbow.
Guido nails him with a shotgun dropkick, but Daivari kicks out at two. Guido tries to pull him up, but gets caught with a jawbreaker. Daivari lifts him for a backdrop suplex, but Guido rolls through and tries to shove him into the corner. Daivari reverses...FUCKING JIHAD ON YOU! A winner is Daivari.
Postmatch, Khali kills Guido with his chokeslam.
-Dreamer/Test is up next.
-Commercials
-Don't worry, they haven't forgotten to hype The Marine.
Test v. Tommy Dreamer - Elim. Chamber Qualifier -
Test is already channeling his inner-Nash (without the sense of humor and perhaps even the talent), pummeling Dreamer with repeated back elbows in the corner. He sends him into the ropes and ducks his head. Dreamer kicks him and follows with the Cactus clothesline, dumping both guys over the top. Test cuts him off, grabbing a bearhug and driving him into the post. He rolls Dreamer in and picks up a nearfall.
They proceed to completely blow a snapmare to the point that Tazz can't even cover for it. Test slows the pace with a rear chinlock. He goes for the pumphandle slam, but Dreamer slips away and plants him with a neckbreaker. He goes for a whip, but Test shortarms him into a back elbow. He bounces off the ropes, but charges into a Rydeen bomb from Dreamer. Cover gets two.
Dreamer signals for the DDT. Which means his head will be laying in the third row in moments. Sure enough, Test shrugs him off and falls into the ropes. The ref decides to get in his face for no apparent reason, allowing him to low blow Dreamer. Oh, that silly man and his obsession with testicular abuse. BIG boot, low blow and Test is going to the Elimination Chamber!
-Commercials
-Intros for the main event.
-Commercials
Rob Van Dam & Hardcore Holly v. Big Show & Paul Heyman (w/riot squad) -
Van Dam and Show start. I can't comprehend how sick of this matchup I am. RVD pounds on Show to little effect. He grabs Heyman, allowing Show to nail him from behind. Cue the mauling. Van Dam tries to come back with a springboard Ryder kick, but Show cuts off the tag. RVD is driven to the floor and the goon squad attacks. Holly tries to help, but does little aside from distracting the ref.
Back in the ring...more mauling. Heyman even gets a few shots in. Show charges Van Dam, who yanks the top rope down. Show ends up crotching himself. RVD still can't make the tag. Show lifts him for the chokeslam, but RVD counters into a DDT. He makes the tag to Holly, who proceeds to turn around and attack him. The fix is in, folks!
Heel beatdownery abounds! Holly spikes Van Dam with an Alabama Slam onto a chair. Show follows with a big splash. The ref calls it a night. Heels celebrate to close the show...
-Opening montage that fails to open the show. Crazy talk!
-Later tonight, more Elimination Chamber qualifiers. To be more specific, Test v. Tommy Dreamer and CM Punk v. Mike Knox. Speaking of that...
CM Punk v. Mike Knox (w/Kelly Kelly) - Elim. Chamber Qualifier -
Knox sends K² to the back before the match can even start. He gets all up in Punk's grill. Punk quickly rolls him up for a nearfall. Oh, you sly devil. Knox backs him into the corner and punches away at him. Punk comes right back with forearms. He sends Knox into the ropes and ducks his head. Knox kicks him, but winds up walking into a dropkick. Punk takes him over with a snapmare, then dropkicks him in the spine. That's just mean.
Another series of forearms in the corner. The ref pulls Punk away, allowing Knox to yank him down by the hair. He sends Punk into the corner. Punk floats over, locking Knox in his hanging Octopus. He follows with a springboard clothesline and Knox bails. Punk gives chase. Knox rolls in and tries to cut him off with an elbowdrop, but there's no one home. Oklahoma Roll by Punk is good for two.
Punk goes for the dreaded springboard something or another, but Knox grabs his tights and pulls him backwards into a powerbomb. He covers, but Punk is out at two. Knox delivers a backbreaker and stretches Punk across his knee. Punk frees himself with a series of knees, but eats a pump kick. Another nearfall for Knox. He locks Punk in a sleeper.
Punk shoots him into the ropes and goes for a 'rana. Knox catches him, countering into a powerbomb for another nearfall. He misses a charge in the corner, though, allowing Punk to come back with a series of kicks. Knox reverses a whip and ducks his head. Punk rolls over and drops him with strikes.
He sends Knox chestfirst into the corner, then plants him with a running STO on the rebound. He hits his running knee in the corner, but Knox counters out of the bulldog, hitting a nifty legsweep backbreaker. Cover gets two. He sits Punk up top, but gets shoved away. Crossbody by Punk. KENTA Rush --> Uranage --> Anaconda Vice --> Knox taps.
This was pretty decent. Or better than I expected, at any rate. Maybe Knox is better than I thought.
-Coming up next...a HUGE announcement from Paul Heyman.
-Commercials. The Dawn of the Dead remake is this week's movie. That was soooooo much better than I thought it'd be. I guess "remake" doesn't have to be a dirty word in the right hands.
-Rebecca interviews ECW newcomers, Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay. That's like eight steps up from Khali. At any rate, Burke talks, yet has nothing to say. Quite a paradox.
-Paul Heyman is out. He actually has announcement(s) to make. Plural. First, he's going to team with Big Show in the main event to face Van Dam and Holly. Second, he has an open contract for the final slot in the Elimination Chamber. Will someone from ECW sign it? Raw? Smackdown? We'll find out next week!
-Commercials
Little Guido (w/Trinity) v. Daivari (w/Great Khali) -
Daivari jumps Guido and takes control early. He goes for a double leg, but Guido counters into a sunset flip, picking up a nearfall. Daivari pops up and levels him with a clothesline, getting a two count of his own. Guido tries to mount a comeback, but Daivari rakes his eyes. He sends Guido into the corner, but charges into a back elbow.
Guido nails him with a shotgun dropkick, but Daivari kicks out at two. Guido tries to pull him up, but gets caught with a jawbreaker. Daivari lifts him for a backdrop suplex, but Guido rolls through and tries to shove him into the corner. Daivari reverses...FUCKING JIHAD ON YOU! A winner is Daivari.
Postmatch, Khali kills Guido with his chokeslam.
-Dreamer/Test is up next.
-Commercials
-Don't worry, they haven't forgotten to hype The Marine.
Test v. Tommy Dreamer - Elim. Chamber Qualifier -
Test is already channeling his inner-Nash (without the sense of humor and perhaps even the talent), pummeling Dreamer with repeated back elbows in the corner. He sends him into the ropes and ducks his head. Dreamer kicks him and follows with the Cactus clothesline, dumping both guys over the top. Test cuts him off, grabbing a bearhug and driving him into the post. He rolls Dreamer in and picks up a nearfall.
They proceed to completely blow a snapmare to the point that Tazz can't even cover for it. Test slows the pace with a rear chinlock. He goes for the pumphandle slam, but Dreamer slips away and plants him with a neckbreaker. He goes for a whip, but Test shortarms him into a back elbow. He bounces off the ropes, but charges into a Rydeen bomb from Dreamer. Cover gets two.
Dreamer signals for the DDT. Which means his head will be laying in the third row in moments. Sure enough, Test shrugs him off and falls into the ropes. The ref decides to get in his face for no apparent reason, allowing him to low blow Dreamer. Oh, that silly man and his obsession with testicular abuse. BIG boot, low blow and Test is going to the Elimination Chamber!
-Commercials
-Intros for the main event.
-Commercials
Rob Van Dam & Hardcore Holly v. Big Show & Paul Heyman (w/riot squad) -
Van Dam and Show start. I can't comprehend how sick of this matchup I am. RVD pounds on Show to little effect. He grabs Heyman, allowing Show to nail him from behind. Cue the mauling. Van Dam tries to come back with a springboard Ryder kick, but Show cuts off the tag. RVD is driven to the floor and the goon squad attacks. Holly tries to help, but does little aside from distracting the ref.
Back in the ring...more mauling. Heyman even gets a few shots in. Show charges Van Dam, who yanks the top rope down. Show ends up crotching himself. RVD still can't make the tag. Show lifts him for the chokeslam, but RVD counters into a DDT. He makes the tag to Holly, who proceeds to turn around and attack him. The fix is in, folks!
Heel beatdownery abounds! Holly spikes Van Dam with an Alabama Slam onto a chair. Show follows with a big splash. The ref calls it a night. Heels celebrate to close the show...
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