ECW on Sci-Fi (10.3.06)
-Paul Heyman and Hardcore Holly watch the footage of Holly's injury last week. Despite being all bandaged up, Holly wants RVD tonight. Eh eh, says Heyman, who's worried about Holly getting injured and subsequently suing him. Holly isn't amused. He shoves Heyman into a locker and tells him that if he doesn't get the match, he'll give Heyman a reason to sue *him*. WHAM! Someone nails Holly with a chair. That someone is Test. Tonight, it'll be him who gets a piece of that RVD action.
-Opening montage.
Sandman & Sabu v. Matt Striker & Big Show -
In a true show of dedication to one's profession, Striker actually has a pair of knee pads that MATCH his argyle sweater vest. That's so badass that I'm not even sure how to describe it.
Show and Sabu start. They have the same match they've had 103 times in ECW. In other words, Show kills him. Tag Striker. Sabu reverses a corner whip and catches Striker with a springboard lag lariat on the rebound. He follows with a pair of seated dropkicks. Looks like he wants a third, but Show holds the ropes open and Sabu ends up bumping to the floor.
-Commercials. Rest Stop is this week's debut. Joseph "Don't Call Me Joey" Lawrence is in it! WHOA! The Oscars can't be far behind.
Show suplexes Sabu. He tags Striker, who quickly makes the cover, getting two. He ties Sabu in the ropes and nails him with a dropkick, leaving Sabu teetering. Striker follows with a second dropkick that sends him to the floor. Show tosses him back in and Striker gets another two count. He rams Sabu into Show's boot, then into the corner.
A pair of boot scrapes is followed with a Face Wash. By Striker? Doesn't really fit the gimmick, but whatever. He picks up another nearfall. Cravate (!) by Striker. Sabu fights free, but Striker yanks him down by the hair. He climbs to the second rope, but leaps into a spinkick. Oops. Sabu reaches Sandman and makes the tag. Punches follow.
Sandman charges Striker in the corner, but runs into a back elbow. He heads to the second rope again, this time getting cut off by a punch. Heinekenrana! Cover, save by Show. Sabu tries to come in off the top, but Show sidesteps, then tosses him out. He grabs Striker's hand to block the White Russian Legsweep, then quickly splashes Sandman. Striker covers and gets the win!
-Clips of the Heyman/Holly confrontation from earlier.
-Later tonight, RVD faces Test.
-Commercials
-Kelly Kelly and Trinity will be the ECW representatives in next week's game of Extreme Strip Poker. Trinity flexes the pecs and K² shows off her "pair of aces."
Kevin Thorn (w/Ariel) v. Tommy Dreamer -
Dreamer blocks a hiptoss. He ducks under a clothesline and takes Thorn over with a hiptoss of his own. He nails Thorn with a kneelift and mounts him in the corner. Thorn escapes, crotching Dreamer on the second rope. Dreamer bumps hard to the mat. Thorn drops a pair of elbows and splashes Dreamer in the corner. Gutbuster by Thorn.
Announcers blather on about "Bite Clubs," and Styles vehemently denies having ever been to one. The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Dreamer avoids a corner charge and plants Thorn with a neckbreaker. Then he punches him. Because that's what Tommy Dreamer does. He follows with a swinging neckbreaker for the hell of it.
Dreamer is looking for the DDT, but Thorn holds the ropes. He covers, but the ref notices that he has his feet in the ropes. Thorn sends Dreamer into the corner, but runs into a back elbow. DDT by Dreamer! Unfortunately, Thorn's hand is under the bottom rope. Ref pulls him away and Thorn bails. Dreamer is nailed by the walking stick. Thorn covers and gets the duke.
-Promo for The Marine.
-CM Punk is up next!
-Commercials
-Maria and Candice Michelle will be your Raw reps at the strip poker game. Apparently, the Raw Superstars™ have been giving Maria advice, telling her that if she has *any* cards that match, she should dump them immediately. What a nurturing family environment. They don't have to help her like that, but they do. Warms my heart. Anyway, I'm protesting this because my beloved Mickie James is not a part of it.
CM Punk v. Danny Doring -
Punk slips away from a suplex and hits a sloppy spinkick. Welcome to Chicago, Motherfucker! He drives Doring into the corner with kneelifts. A double reverse sends Doring into the corner. Running knee strike by Punk. He bulldogs Doring. KENTA rush. Uranage. Anaconda Vice. Tap. That was quick.
Postmatch, K² dedicates a dance to Punk. Knox is out. He's putting Punk on notice. Punk tells him that Knox doesn't have to worry about him going after the girl, but the girl going after him! OH SNAP! It's go time, sez Knox. He charges the ring, but decides that discretion is the better part of valor and heads to the back.
-Commercials
-Ashley and Kristal are your Smackdown reps. I loves me some Ashley.
Rob Van Dam v. Test - Extreme Rules -
RVD outquicks Test early. He goes for the taunt, but Test kicks him in the gut and tosses him to the floor. He rams him into the steps. RVD blocks a suplex and dumps Test onto the barricade. The corkscrew legdrop misses the mark, though. Test grabs the steps and charges. RVD ducks out of the way and the steps rebound off the ringpost and end up landing on top of Test.
RVD kicks Test onto the other half of the steps and hits Rolling Thunder on the floor. That looked plenty hurty. He then sets up a table at ringside. Back in the ring, Van Dam drives a series of shoulders into Test's gut. He goes for another, but gets his head torn off by a clothesline. Test covers and gets two. He tosses a bunch of chairs into the ring. Four, to be exact, as Tazz is momentarily unable to count past three and Styles needs to help him out. No, really.
RVD lifts a chair, but Test kicks it back into his face. Van Testinator! Sounded way more violent than it looked, though. Cover gets two. Test wedges chairs in opposite corners. RVD tries to mount a comeback, but a few well placed forearms to the back put a stop to that. Test is looking to suplex RVD on a chair.
Van Dam slips away and whips the chair into Test's face. That move is getting super played out. They fight for the apron suplex, with RVD finally putting Test through the table with a sunset flip powerbomb.
-Commercials
Replay of the big spot. Heyman is out with his goons. RVD is distracted and Test low blows him. He tosses RVD out and the riot guys beat him down with their nightsticks. Big Bossman they ain't. They toss him in and Test covers him for two. He tosses Van Dam through the chair wedged in the corner, but RVD again escapes the cover at two.
Bearhug by Test. RVD fights free. He bounces off the ropes, but Test wings a chair into his face. That was disturbingly loud. Test gets yet another nearfall. Announcers are playing up how brave RVD is to keep kicking out. The trouble, of course, is that we've seen him take beatings far more severe. Including one that happened seven days ago.
Test yanks off a turnbuckle, exposing the bolt. Both guys block being rammed into it. Test whips RVD into the ropes, but gets caught with a spinning heelkick. They trade strikes for a bit and RVD ends up reversing Test into the corner. He charges, connecting with a spinkick. He skateboards a chair into Test.
He places a chair on top of Test and again goes for Rolling Thunder. Test rolls free and RVD crashes onto the chair. Now it's Test's turn to put a chair on RVD. He grabs a second chair and heads up top. He CRUSHES RVD's skull, but can still only get two. He slides a table into the ring and sets it up near the corner.
Powerbomb? RVD counters into a sunset flip and gets two. Test pops up and levels him with a clothesline. He lifts RVD and charges into the corner. Van Dam slips away and shoves Test into the exposed bolt. He rolls Test onto the table, then takes out the goon squad. Up top. Big Show is out. He shoves RVD through the table. TKO by Test. Cover...1-2-3!
First half of this was pretty fun, but it got dull pretty quick after the commercial. Test is no Bob Holly and that hurt this one, as there was no intensity to go with the big spots. RVD did his part, taking all sorts of nasty bumps, but it wasn't enough to save this one. In the end, it was decent, but that's all the further I'm willing to go with it.
-Opening montage.
Sandman & Sabu v. Matt Striker & Big Show -
In a true show of dedication to one's profession, Striker actually has a pair of knee pads that MATCH his argyle sweater vest. That's so badass that I'm not even sure how to describe it.
Show and Sabu start. They have the same match they've had 103 times in ECW. In other words, Show kills him. Tag Striker. Sabu reverses a corner whip and catches Striker with a springboard lag lariat on the rebound. He follows with a pair of seated dropkicks. Looks like he wants a third, but Show holds the ropes open and Sabu ends up bumping to the floor.
-Commercials. Rest Stop is this week's debut. Joseph "Don't Call Me Joey" Lawrence is in it! WHOA! The Oscars can't be far behind.
Show suplexes Sabu. He tags Striker, who quickly makes the cover, getting two. He ties Sabu in the ropes and nails him with a dropkick, leaving Sabu teetering. Striker follows with a second dropkick that sends him to the floor. Show tosses him back in and Striker gets another two count. He rams Sabu into Show's boot, then into the corner.
A pair of boot scrapes is followed with a Face Wash. By Striker? Doesn't really fit the gimmick, but whatever. He picks up another nearfall. Cravate (!) by Striker. Sabu fights free, but Striker yanks him down by the hair. He climbs to the second rope, but leaps into a spinkick. Oops. Sabu reaches Sandman and makes the tag. Punches follow.
Sandman charges Striker in the corner, but runs into a back elbow. He heads to the second rope again, this time getting cut off by a punch. Heinekenrana! Cover, save by Show. Sabu tries to come in off the top, but Show sidesteps, then tosses him out. He grabs Striker's hand to block the White Russian Legsweep, then quickly splashes Sandman. Striker covers and gets the win!
-Clips of the Heyman/Holly confrontation from earlier.
-Later tonight, RVD faces Test.
-Commercials
-Kelly Kelly and Trinity will be the ECW representatives in next week's game of Extreme Strip Poker. Trinity flexes the pecs and K² shows off her "pair of aces."
Kevin Thorn (w/Ariel) v. Tommy Dreamer -
Dreamer blocks a hiptoss. He ducks under a clothesline and takes Thorn over with a hiptoss of his own. He nails Thorn with a kneelift and mounts him in the corner. Thorn escapes, crotching Dreamer on the second rope. Dreamer bumps hard to the mat. Thorn drops a pair of elbows and splashes Dreamer in the corner. Gutbuster by Thorn.
Announcers blather on about "Bite Clubs," and Styles vehemently denies having ever been to one. The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Dreamer avoids a corner charge and plants Thorn with a neckbreaker. Then he punches him. Because that's what Tommy Dreamer does. He follows with a swinging neckbreaker for the hell of it.
Dreamer is looking for the DDT, but Thorn holds the ropes. He covers, but the ref notices that he has his feet in the ropes. Thorn sends Dreamer into the corner, but runs into a back elbow. DDT by Dreamer! Unfortunately, Thorn's hand is under the bottom rope. Ref pulls him away and Thorn bails. Dreamer is nailed by the walking stick. Thorn covers and gets the duke.
-Promo for The Marine.
-CM Punk is up next!
-Commercials
-Maria and Candice Michelle will be your Raw reps at the strip poker game. Apparently, the Raw Superstars™ have been giving Maria advice, telling her that if she has *any* cards that match, she should dump them immediately. What a nurturing family environment. They don't have to help her like that, but they do. Warms my heart. Anyway, I'm protesting this because my beloved Mickie James is not a part of it.
CM Punk v. Danny Doring -
Punk slips away from a suplex and hits a sloppy spinkick. Welcome to Chicago, Motherfucker! He drives Doring into the corner with kneelifts. A double reverse sends Doring into the corner. Running knee strike by Punk. He bulldogs Doring. KENTA rush. Uranage. Anaconda Vice. Tap. That was quick.
Postmatch, K² dedicates a dance to Punk. Knox is out. He's putting Punk on notice. Punk tells him that Knox doesn't have to worry about him going after the girl, but the girl going after him! OH SNAP! It's go time, sez Knox. He charges the ring, but decides that discretion is the better part of valor and heads to the back.
-Commercials
-Ashley and Kristal are your Smackdown reps. I loves me some Ashley.
Rob Van Dam v. Test - Extreme Rules -
RVD outquicks Test early. He goes for the taunt, but Test kicks him in the gut and tosses him to the floor. He rams him into the steps. RVD blocks a suplex and dumps Test onto the barricade. The corkscrew legdrop misses the mark, though. Test grabs the steps and charges. RVD ducks out of the way and the steps rebound off the ringpost and end up landing on top of Test.
RVD kicks Test onto the other half of the steps and hits Rolling Thunder on the floor. That looked plenty hurty. He then sets up a table at ringside. Back in the ring, Van Dam drives a series of shoulders into Test's gut. He goes for another, but gets his head torn off by a clothesline. Test covers and gets two. He tosses a bunch of chairs into the ring. Four, to be exact, as Tazz is momentarily unable to count past three and Styles needs to help him out. No, really.
RVD lifts a chair, but Test kicks it back into his face. Van Testinator! Sounded way more violent than it looked, though. Cover gets two. Test wedges chairs in opposite corners. RVD tries to mount a comeback, but a few well placed forearms to the back put a stop to that. Test is looking to suplex RVD on a chair.
Van Dam slips away and whips the chair into Test's face. That move is getting super played out. They fight for the apron suplex, with RVD finally putting Test through the table with a sunset flip powerbomb.
-Commercials
Replay of the big spot. Heyman is out with his goons. RVD is distracted and Test low blows him. He tosses RVD out and the riot guys beat him down with their nightsticks. Big Bossman they ain't. They toss him in and Test covers him for two. He tosses Van Dam through the chair wedged in the corner, but RVD again escapes the cover at two.
Bearhug by Test. RVD fights free. He bounces off the ropes, but Test wings a chair into his face. That was disturbingly loud. Test gets yet another nearfall. Announcers are playing up how brave RVD is to keep kicking out. The trouble, of course, is that we've seen him take beatings far more severe. Including one that happened seven days ago.
Test yanks off a turnbuckle, exposing the bolt. Both guys block being rammed into it. Test whips RVD into the ropes, but gets caught with a spinning heelkick. They trade strikes for a bit and RVD ends up reversing Test into the corner. He charges, connecting with a spinkick. He skateboards a chair into Test.
He places a chair on top of Test and again goes for Rolling Thunder. Test rolls free and RVD crashes onto the chair. Now it's Test's turn to put a chair on RVD. He grabs a second chair and heads up top. He CRUSHES RVD's skull, but can still only get two. He slides a table into the ring and sets it up near the corner.
Powerbomb? RVD counters into a sunset flip and gets two. Test pops up and levels him with a clothesline. He lifts RVD and charges into the corner. Van Dam slips away and shoves Test into the exposed bolt. He rolls Test onto the table, then takes out the goon squad. Up top. Big Show is out. He shoves RVD through the table. TKO by Test. Cover...1-2-3!
First half of this was pretty fun, but it got dull pretty quick after the commercial. Test is no Bob Holly and that hurt this one, as there was no intensity to go with the big spots. RVD did his part, taking all sorts of nasty bumps, but it wasn't enough to save this one. In the end, it was decent, but that's all the further I'm willing to go with it.
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