RAW In 120 Seconds
Open: new
Logo: modified
Stage Setup: same
Butch: Aw.
Cole, JBL: Hiya.
SmackDown Fans: What the--
Tazz, Styles: What's up, bitches. Cursing is EXTREME!
ECW Fans: What the fuck!?
Girls: SQUEE!
Guys: BOO!
Cena: saLUTE! This is a reminder: Edge sucks. I got my bling, I got my mixed reaction, God is in his heaven--
King Booker: And the champ is here.
Cena: I sure am.
King Booker: ...I was referring to myself.
Cena: I doth mock you! For as I entered the ring, I made it very clear. I am the franchise of RAW, and the champ is here!
Big Show: Well, sure. Now. You're not British. You're not black. And I'm a movie star.
King Booker: Excuse thou. I was in Ready To Rumble!
Show: ...
Cena: ...
Show, Cena: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHA!
King Booker, and a certain resident of Stamford: Awww...
Cena: Shall we?
Show: You really are retarded. clears ring
Teddy Long, Coach, and Paul Heyman: self-promoting sound and fury signifying nothing
Kane: You go to SmackDown!
Umaga: ranting in native language
Kane: Right. Maybe you'll understand THIS! pummels
Umaga: pummels while ranting in native language
Kane: throws Umaga into the post
Umaga: throws Kane to the floor
Kane: I KEEL YOU SCUM!
Armando: stab
Umaga: THUMB!
Fans: Kane!
Armando: Another one for the good guys, heh heh.
Kane: so very angry
Highlanders: We love you, man!
Kane: in a shocking character departure, has no love
Robbie: ow
Rory: After me, there's Veronica Mars!
Audience: staring
Rory: ...I mean, uh, ow. Aie.
Shawn Michaels: At this point we'd like to apologize to everyone we've offended.
Triple H: Actually, no. Smarks. PFFT.
Shawn: Uh, dead air...
RAWdience: gets their daubers out and blots Obligatory DX Merch Plug
Shawn: Dos preguntas.
RAWdience: ¡CHUPAME!
Jeff Hardy: offensive flurry
Big Show: SMACK.
Hardy: Ow. another flurry
Big Show: SMACK. Vader Bomb!
Hardy: Sidestep! Deploy the grenades! Whisper In The Wind! SWANTON BOMB!
Big Show: KICKOUT!
Hardy: Ah, hell.
Big Show: Cobra backbreaker!
Danity Kane: We in the car, we ridin' slow, we doin' things that the girls don't do...
Jeff Hardy: A 7 foot, 500-pound man drove his leg into my throat and all you bitches can do is SING!?
Johnny Nitro: Oh, you thought that was bad? How's about this fist?
Big Show: Yup, not done yet. Cobra backbreaker you too. And now for a light dinner of three to four cows.
The Voice Of Not Quite Zach De La Rocha: Bring that shit in! Have you taken the proper precautions?!
RAWdience: Indubitably!
Triple H: Vince loves the cock. We'e right here...in South Carolina! thumbs up
Family Man In Long Island: HEY!
RAWdience: WE'RE in South Carolina! HUZZAH!
Triple H: string of cock jokes
Horse: Stop beating me!
Triple H: continues
Horse: Oh, god I'm hurt...
Triple H: stil continues
Horse: I suddenly feel very Flair Flop
Triple H: continues beating. THE JOKE.
Cade & Murdoch: double whip Triple H into the steps, then pummel Shawn
Waylon Jennings: Now them DX boys sure found themselves on the wrong side of a beatin'. Best that they have a little whiskey and call it a night. Or a lot of whiskey and win this thing.
DX: comes back
Rednecks: Shoot.
Shawn: Savage elbow through the table
Star Jones: While I have a chance here, let me clear my throat.
Shawn: Sweet Chin Music
Triple H: PEDIGREE
Edge: Whatever. I got a show to do tonight.
Shelton: I feel confident in my home grounds as an employee of World Wrestling Entertainment nothing can go wrong for me here.
J.R.: Uhh...
Benoit: This place looks dimly familiar. Snaplex! Germans!
Shelton: No! Samoan drop!
Benoit: And I SAID GERMANS, dammit! Throat cut! Swandiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
Shelton: Sidesteeeeeeeeeeeep!
Benoit: Dammit.
Shelton: Stinger splash!
George: T-Bone!
Kruger: T-Bone!
Benoit: Yeah, I just got back last night; that shit's not happening. CROSSFACE
Heyman, Coach & Teddy Long: Our show's the best, right, Super Crazy?
Super Crazy: ¡Si!
GMs: Well?
Super Crazy: The actual winners are our fanbase, who get to peruse an array of eclectic styles fro every brand, allowing an astute observer to pick and choose what they'd like to see most based on their own personal taste. And after all, gentlemen...and Coach...and Heyman...isn't that what this fine nation was founded upon?
GMs: WTF, mate?
Super Crazy: Didn't your English teachers teach you about assuming? Sheesh.
Some Irish Guy: My name is Finlay, and I love to fight!
Regal: My name is Regal, and I've been told to keep that thing in my pants.
Chavo & Vickie Guerrero: come out
Vince: dances on Eddie's grave a little
Lashley, Rey, Batista: PYRO! Clearly we shall win this skirmish.
Rey: ranas Chavo, double ranas the Royal Court 1238!
Heels: Uh, NO.
Finlay: Hey, he fits in the apron skirt!
Heels: pummel
Rey: Tag!
Ref: Uh, no.
Batista: How DARE you.
Rey: Hey, ref!
Ref: Yes?
Rey: Tag.
Ref: ...OH! Okay, then.
Batista: I KEEL YOU ALL slams Finlay on Regal
Royal Court: That hurteth.
Batista: jackhammers Chavo
Royal Court: Revenge!
Katie: bars the door
Lashley: DOUBLE SPEAR!
Rey: (619)!
Batista: UNHOLY SPINEBUSTER!
Rey: FROG SPLASH! I knew that pyro thing was brilliant.
Queen Sharmell: All hail!
Melina: DOESN'T do the entrance
Terrorists: It's official! We won! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Vince's Desk: What the--where's everybody going?
All The Strip Poker Chicks: Hi.
Michelle McCool: You wish.
Butch: Aww!
Terroists: don't even look up and continue pouring champagne on each other
ATSPC: Bootleg lumberjack match!
Melina: YOINK! Victory!
Torrie: Damn you, Kristal Marshall! After I get screwed out of a title, the first thing I do is make them toss my salad!
King Booker: This is an appalingly low amount of hailing, I must say.
RVD: You look dimly familiar from somewhere.
King Booker: As do you.
RVD: stares
King Booker: stares
Both: Naaah.
RVD: Bodyscissor rollup! Shoulder blocks! Monkey flip!
King Booker: Thou shalt suffer the indignity of the post!
New York Post: Hey, c'mon. I realize we're not the Times, but...
King Booker: Silence, peasants!
JBL & Tazz: whine about their backbraces from having to carry Cole
RVD: Could you guys keep it down? A little distracting.
Queen Sharmell: Speaking of which...crotches
RVD: Dude. Uncool.
King Booker: points to Cleric
Cleric: And thus it was decidied that during the interval in which Her Royal Highness doth find the rules cumbersome that the King shalt deploy his favorite weapon from on high, the Blessed Axe Kick. Yea, and he shall unleash the Blessed Axe Kick, and it shall come down on the wrath of the pillock with a tremendous WHAP noise, not unlike the sound of the ninesome out of the American metropolis failing yet again to win the World Championship for the sixth straight year, losing to a team that was once truly wretched and fit only for the doldrums of society--
JR: GET ON WITH IT!
King: GET ON WITH IT!
JBL: GET ON WITH IT!
Cole: GET ON WITH IT!
Tazz: GET ON WITH IT!
Styles: GET ON WITH IT!
Vince: GET ON WITH IT!
RVD: Seriously.
Cleric: My apologies. clears throat. And upon completion, thou shalt hang on for 3. Not 2, not 4. 3 is the magic number, yes it is. Yes, it is. Thou shalt not stay for 2, unless it is on the path to 3. Thou shall not hang on for 4, unless the referee is dyslexic. With the absence of King Kong Bundy, five is right out. And he shalt smote them, and we shall all hail King Booker.
King Booker: Now can thou comprendeth that...peasant!?
GMs: bickering
Vince: Hi.
GMs: kiss the ring
Vince: All the champions triple threat, Cyber Sunday. Be there. Aloha.
Mitch: What's old man Flair gonna do to me? I got friends.
Flair: Oh, you do? Hmm. Let me see who I can get...
Piper: Hey, punks.
IRS: I find you all deductible.
DIBIASE~!: You're alllll going to pay. 'Cause the Million Dollar Man? ALWAYS gets his way! unleashes the Best Laugh EVER
ARN ANDERSON~!: cuts the throat
Spirit Squad: Isn't there a cheerleader on Heroes? We should go to the back and watch that. I hear she's pretty cute, too. flees
Mitch: This is, like, Wile E. Coyote bad, isn't it?
Flair: WHOO! figure-four struts
Edge: Ah, a live mic. My third-favorite thing in the world.
Lita: Thank you, sweetie.
Edge: ? I mean, of course. And now for my special guest...
Matt Hardy: bares his teeth
Edge: Randy Orton!
Matt Hardy: :(
English Language: :( :(
Edge: Congrats, Randy. You've offically Billy Gunned your push. And now, for the benefit of those with video technology--
the Day After SummerSlam '04: Orton thumbs up? No, Orton thumbs DOWN.
Edge: Stay with me. Shawn costs me a title last week. Triple H pretty much Donkey Punched you with no lube. What do you say we take down the Metareferencing Happy Hour?
Orton: Well...
RAWdience: RKO chant. No, really.
Orton: Let's get them. handshake
Sellers Of Roofies In North America: Time to buy that Lexus!
Cena: Sup.
Undertaker: Boo.
Run-In: Yeah, nobody sees me coming, right?
Cena: My show! I make you tap, Show! I FU Booker! HA!
Logo: modified
Stage Setup: same
Butch: Aw.
Cole, JBL: Hiya.
SmackDown Fans: What the--
Tazz, Styles: What's up, bitches. Cursing is EXTREME!
ECW Fans: What the fuck!?
Girls: SQUEE!
Guys: BOO!
Cena: saLUTE! This is a reminder: Edge sucks. I got my bling, I got my mixed reaction, God is in his heaven--
King Booker: And the champ is here.
Cena: I sure am.
King Booker: ...I was referring to myself.
Cena: I doth mock you! For as I entered the ring, I made it very clear. I am the franchise of RAW, and the champ is here!
Big Show: Well, sure. Now. You're not British. You're not black. And I'm a movie star.
King Booker: Excuse thou. I was in Ready To Rumble!
Show: ...
Cena: ...
Show, Cena: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHA!
King Booker, and a certain resident of Stamford: Awww...
Cena: Shall we?
Show: You really are retarded. clears ring
Teddy Long, Coach, and Paul Heyman: self-promoting sound and fury signifying nothing
Kane: You go to SmackDown!
Umaga: ranting in native language
Kane: Right. Maybe you'll understand THIS! pummels
Umaga: pummels while ranting in native language
Kane: throws Umaga into the post
Umaga: throws Kane to the floor
Kane: I KEEL YOU SCUM!
Armando: stab
Umaga: THUMB!
Fans: Kane!
Armando: Another one for the good guys, heh heh.
Kane: so very angry
Highlanders: We love you, man!
Kane: in a shocking character departure, has no love
Robbie: ow
Rory: After me, there's Veronica Mars!
Audience: staring
Rory: ...I mean, uh, ow. Aie.
Shawn Michaels: At this point we'd like to apologize to everyone we've offended.
Triple H: Actually, no. Smarks. PFFT.
Shawn: Uh, dead air...
RAWdience: gets their daubers out and blots Obligatory DX Merch Plug
Shawn: Dos preguntas.
RAWdience: ¡CHUPAME!
Jeff Hardy: offensive flurry
Big Show: SMACK.
Hardy: Ow. another flurry
Big Show: SMACK. Vader Bomb!
Hardy: Sidestep! Deploy the grenades! Whisper In The Wind! SWANTON BOMB!
Big Show: KICKOUT!
Hardy: Ah, hell.
Big Show: Cobra backbreaker!
Danity Kane: We in the car, we ridin' slow, we doin' things that the girls don't do...
Jeff Hardy: A 7 foot, 500-pound man drove his leg into my throat and all you bitches can do is SING!?
Johnny Nitro: Oh, you thought that was bad? How's about this fist?
Big Show: Yup, not done yet. Cobra backbreaker you too. And now for a light dinner of three to four cows.
The Voice Of Not Quite Zach De La Rocha: Bring that shit in! Have you taken the proper precautions?!
RAWdience: Indubitably!
Triple H: Vince loves the cock. We'e right here...in South Carolina! thumbs up
Family Man In Long Island: HEY!
RAWdience: WE'RE in South Carolina! HUZZAH!
Triple H: string of cock jokes
Horse: Stop beating me!
Triple H: continues
Horse: Oh, god I'm hurt...
Triple H: stil continues
Horse: I suddenly feel very Flair Flop
Triple H: continues beating. THE JOKE.
Cade & Murdoch: double whip Triple H into the steps, then pummel Shawn
Waylon Jennings: Now them DX boys sure found themselves on the wrong side of a beatin'. Best that they have a little whiskey and call it a night. Or a lot of whiskey and win this thing.
DX: comes back
Rednecks: Shoot.
Shawn: Savage elbow through the table
Star Jones: While I have a chance here, let me clear my throat.
Shawn: Sweet Chin Music
Triple H: PEDIGREE
Edge: Whatever. I got a show to do tonight.
Shelton: I feel confident in my home grounds as an employee of World Wrestling Entertainment nothing can go wrong for me here.
J.R.: Uhh...
Benoit: This place looks dimly familiar. Snaplex! Germans!
Shelton: No! Samoan drop!
Benoit: And I SAID GERMANS, dammit! Throat cut! Swandiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!
Shelton: Sidesteeeeeeeeeeeep!
Benoit: Dammit.
Shelton: Stinger splash!
George: T-Bone!
Kruger: T-Bone!
Benoit: Yeah, I just got back last night; that shit's not happening. CROSSFACE
Heyman, Coach & Teddy Long: Our show's the best, right, Super Crazy?
Super Crazy: ¡Si!
GMs: Well?
Super Crazy: The actual winners are our fanbase, who get to peruse an array of eclectic styles fro every brand, allowing an astute observer to pick and choose what they'd like to see most based on their own personal taste. And after all, gentlemen...and Coach...and Heyman...isn't that what this fine nation was founded upon?
GMs: WTF, mate?
Super Crazy: Didn't your English teachers teach you about assuming? Sheesh.
Some Irish Guy: My name is Finlay, and I love to fight!
Regal: My name is Regal, and I've been told to keep that thing in my pants.
Chavo & Vickie Guerrero: come out
Vince: dances on Eddie's grave a little
Lashley, Rey, Batista: PYRO! Clearly we shall win this skirmish.
Rey: ranas Chavo, double ranas the Royal Court 1238!
Heels: Uh, NO.
Finlay: Hey, he fits in the apron skirt!
Heels: pummel
Rey: Tag!
Ref: Uh, no.
Batista: How DARE you.
Rey: Hey, ref!
Ref: Yes?
Rey: Tag.
Ref: ...OH! Okay, then.
Batista: I KEEL YOU ALL slams Finlay on Regal
Royal Court: That hurteth.
Batista: jackhammers Chavo
Royal Court: Revenge!
Katie: bars the door
Lashley: DOUBLE SPEAR!
Rey: (619)!
Batista: UNHOLY SPINEBUSTER!
Rey: FROG SPLASH! I knew that pyro thing was brilliant.
Queen Sharmell: All hail!
Melina: DOESN'T do the entrance
Terrorists: It's official! We won! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Vince's Desk: What the--where's everybody going?
All The Strip Poker Chicks: Hi.
Michelle McCool: You wish.
Butch: Aww!
Terroists: don't even look up and continue pouring champagne on each other
ATSPC: Bootleg lumberjack match!
Melina: YOINK! Victory!
Torrie: Damn you, Kristal Marshall! After I get screwed out of a title, the first thing I do is make them toss my salad!
King Booker: This is an appalingly low amount of hailing, I must say.
RVD: You look dimly familiar from somewhere.
King Booker: As do you.
RVD: stares
King Booker: stares
Both: Naaah.
RVD: Bodyscissor rollup! Shoulder blocks! Monkey flip!
King Booker: Thou shalt suffer the indignity of the post!
New York Post: Hey, c'mon. I realize we're not the Times, but...
King Booker: Silence, peasants!
JBL & Tazz: whine about their backbraces from having to carry Cole
RVD: Could you guys keep it down? A little distracting.
Queen Sharmell: Speaking of which...crotches
RVD: Dude. Uncool.
King Booker: points to Cleric
Cleric: And thus it was decidied that during the interval in which Her Royal Highness doth find the rules cumbersome that the King shalt deploy his favorite weapon from on high, the Blessed Axe Kick. Yea, and he shall unleash the Blessed Axe Kick, and it shall come down on the wrath of the pillock with a tremendous WHAP noise, not unlike the sound of the ninesome out of the American metropolis failing yet again to win the World Championship for the sixth straight year, losing to a team that was once truly wretched and fit only for the doldrums of society--
JR: GET ON WITH IT!
King: GET ON WITH IT!
JBL: GET ON WITH IT!
Cole: GET ON WITH IT!
Tazz: GET ON WITH IT!
Styles: GET ON WITH IT!
Vince: GET ON WITH IT!
RVD: Seriously.
Cleric: My apologies. clears throat. And upon completion, thou shalt hang on for 3. Not 2, not 4. 3 is the magic number, yes it is. Yes, it is. Thou shalt not stay for 2, unless it is on the path to 3. Thou shall not hang on for 4, unless the referee is dyslexic. With the absence of King Kong Bundy, five is right out. And he shalt smote them, and we shall all hail King Booker.
King Booker: Now can thou comprendeth that...peasant!?
GMs: bickering
Vince: Hi.
GMs: kiss the ring
Vince: All the champions triple threat, Cyber Sunday. Be there. Aloha.
Mitch: What's old man Flair gonna do to me? I got friends.
Flair: Oh, you do? Hmm. Let me see who I can get...
Piper: Hey, punks.
IRS: I find you all deductible.
DIBIASE~!: You're alllll going to pay. 'Cause the Million Dollar Man? ALWAYS gets his way! unleashes the Best Laugh EVER
ARN ANDERSON~!: cuts the throat
Spirit Squad: Isn't there a cheerleader on Heroes? We should go to the back and watch that. I hear she's pretty cute, too. flees
Mitch: This is, like, Wile E. Coyote bad, isn't it?
Flair: WHOO! figure-four struts
Edge: Ah, a live mic. My third-favorite thing in the world.
Lita: Thank you, sweetie.
Edge: ? I mean, of course. And now for my special guest...
Matt Hardy: bares his teeth
Edge: Randy Orton!
Matt Hardy: :(
English Language: :( :(
Edge: Congrats, Randy. You've offically Billy Gunned your push. And now, for the benefit of those with video technology--
the Day After SummerSlam '04: Orton thumbs up? No, Orton thumbs DOWN.
Edge: Stay with me. Shawn costs me a title last week. Triple H pretty much Donkey Punched you with no lube. What do you say we take down the Metareferencing Happy Hour?
Orton: Well...
RAWdience: RKO chant. No, really.
Orton: Let's get them. handshake
Sellers Of Roofies In North America: Time to buy that Lexus!
Cena: Sup.
Undertaker: Boo.
Run-In: Yeah, nobody sees me coming, right?
Cena: My show! I make you tap, Show! I FU Booker! HA!
Comments