Heat - 9.25.05
I'm just sitting here, trying to remember the last time there wasn't any wrestling on TV on a Sunday. Seriously, I'm not sure if that's been the case my entire life. Pre-Heat you had WWF syndicated shows and WCW always had a Sunday night show as well. This really is the end of an era. Oh well, might as well get at this. Onward and upward, or something.
-We open the show with hype for WWE Homecoming (and Shane Douglas just had *another* coronary. AND THAT'S A FACT, JACKASS! What a catchphrase...).
Heart Throbs v. Eugene & Tajiri -
Lilian is wearing shockingly little tonight. That gets this show an automatic thumbs up. Which serves to even out the automatic thumbs down that seeing the Heart Throbs causes. Eugene snatches one of their boas and auditions for the role of Throb #3. Antonio is not amused, jumping him before the bell. He works him over for a bit, but Eugene comes back with...a bite to the ass. Whatever works. A jealous Romeo runs in. Eugene takes him down with a drop toehold and rides him like a pony. Homoeroticism for everyone!
Tajiri tags in. Eugene ties Antonio to the Tree of Joey Lawrence (tm Dave Prazak) and Tajiri follows with a baseball slide dropkick. No decapitation, though. *frowns* Tajiri hits a standing moonsault for two. Romeo kicks him as he bounces off the ropes. Tajiri kills him with a hook kick, but the distraction is effective. Antonio comes back with a clothesline and makes the tag. Heart Throbs plant him with a double Russian legsweep and get two.
Antonio tags back in and the Throbs double up on Tajiri. He inches toward his corner, but Antonio cuts him off and nails Eugene for good measure. Tajiri tries for a backdrop suplex, but Antonio rolls through and takes him down. He goes for...something, but Tajiri kicks him away. Tag to Romeo. Tajiri kicks him away as well. The both move in and, you guessed it, Tajiri kicks them *both* away. Time for the hot tag? Indeed.
Eugene is on fire, he cleans house and possible runs wild as well. Did I miss a cliche? He kicks Romeo in the gut and goes for the Stunner, but gets shoved away. Right into Antonio, coincidentally. Heart Throbs hit the Hart Attack. Romeo covers, save by Tajiri. Throbs doubleteam him, but he drops both with a handspring elbow.
They pair off in opposite corners and the heels get whipped together. They manage to stop short, though. They charge back into the corner and BY GOD, we've got dueling Tarantulas. Ref makes everyone break. Eugene quickly gives Romeo a Stunner and this one is over.
-Kerwin White is on the golf course. He introduces us to his caddy, Nick Nemeth. I know he was called up from OVW, but that's pretty much the entirety of my Nemeth knowledge. He does look like someone I went to high school with, but that doesn't seem like an important factoid to share. So, of course, I just did.
-Commercials
-Clips of the Flair/Carlito matches from the PPV and last week's Raw.
-Commercials
Kerwin White (w/Nick Nemeth) v. Matt Striker -
Striker frustrates Kerwin early, taking him over with a few armdrags. Off comes Kerwin's shirt. He hands it to the ref, distracting him. That allows him to kick Striker in the gut and start pounding on him. Striker comes back with a tackle and takes him over with another armdrag. Kerwin is done screwing around. He dropkicks Striker in the knee and starts stomping on the injured leg. Striker tries to catch a breather in the corner. Kerwin charges, but eats a back elbow.
Second charge and this time Kerwin catches his boot. Doesn't help, though, as he's immediately leveled with a clothesline. And another. Striker adds a hiptoss, starts to celebrate...then suddenly remembers that his leg is hurt. Okay, that was funny. He gives Kerwin a neckbreaker and gets two. Striker is reversed into the corner. Kerwin misses a splash and Striker rolls him into a Fujiwara armbar. Rope break. Drop toehold by Kerwin. He does the Lance Storm roll into a half crab and gets the win. That was sudden.
-Later, Rob Conway squares off with Shelton Benjamin. Sounds like a good way to end the show.
-Commercials
-Clips of the 8 man tag from Raw. Most fun I had watching Raw in weeks.
-Commercials
Rob Conway v. Shelton Benjamin -
Conway goes right to work on the arm. Shelton takes him down and grabs an armbar of his own. Conway counters into a side headlock, but Shelton powers out. He hiptosses Conway and we have ourselves a standoff! Conway gets serious, taking off the shades. He tackles Shelton, then follows with a hiptoss. Elbowdrop misses, however. Shelton fires back and takes him over with a backdrop. Conway bails as we go to break.
-Last Heat commercial. Sadness.
Conway is back in control when we return. Not for long, though, as Shelton comes back punching. He whips Conway into the ropes and ducks his head. Never a good idea. Conway kicks him. Shelton charges, but gets caught in a Hotshot. Conway chokes him for a bit, then plants him with a Hangman's neckbreaker for two. Rear chinlock by Conway. Shelton tries to escape, but it's switched to a rear waistlock. Shelton elbows free, leaps straight to the top rope and comes back with a forearm. Damn impressive.
He whips Conway into the corner and hits the Stinger splash. Backbreaker gets two. Conway shortarms Shelton, kicking him in the gut. He goes for a suplex, but Shelton lands on his feet. He plants Conway with a Samoan drop, causing him to bail out once again. Shelton gives chase and we have ourselves a brawl! Both try to re-enter the ring, but this is ultimately ruled a double countout. Postmatch, they fight and Shelton wins. Ho hum...
Talk about ending not with a bang, but a whimper. TS Eliot knew what time it was. And no, it's not Vader Time. Actually, it's always Vader Time, but...yeah. I'm just confusing myself now.
MORE BONUS CONTENT!
I have to admit, this recap is late less because I'm a lazy git and more so because I'm having a hell of a time making a Top 10 Heat matches list. The line between #10 and say...#53 isn't really all that great. Not to mention that, when the show started at least, Heat wasn't so much a B-show as an extension of Raw. You'd regularly get stuff that would have passed for a PPV match.
So, yeah. This took hours to do, so I hope you enjoy. Again, no particular order and this is just my personal opinion. I'm pretty sure you all realize how infallible that is by now, though.
1. Dudley Boys v. Lance Storm & Val Venis (3.7.04)
This was a *killer* match. Putting it in at #1 might not be a stretch. I believe it was the week before Wrestlemania XX, to win a spot in the tag title match at that show. Had this match taken place at 'Mania itself, it would have been the third best match on the show. I'm surprised to see that, although I've come to HATE the Dudleys, they ended up with a slot on both the Heat and Velocity top tens. Maybe my opinion needs to be re-examined?
2. The Rock v. Mankind - Empty Arena (1.31.99)
Oh, how I love this match. Probably the best comedy match in WWF/E history.
3. Jerry Lynn v. Rob Van Dam (8.5.01)
It was way short and felt neutered next to the ECW matches, but this might have been the only real chance Lynn had to shine in his entire WWF tenure. And for one night, it looked like signing with them hadn't been a giant mistake. Of course, that one night was really all he ever got. Meh.
4. Chavo Guerrero v. Rey Mysterio (9.22.02)
5. Raven v. D'Lo Brown (9.1.02)
You really thought I'd not list Raven on here somewhere? Seriously, though, three people might remember this feud, but trust me...it was awesome.
6. Lance Storm v. Rob Van Dam (3.3.02)
7. Stevie Richards v. Chris Jericho (9.5.04)
Can't do a Heat list without Stevie. There's probably better stuff versus Val as they vied for the prestigious King of Heat crown, but all of the matches run together for me a year later.
8. Tommy Dreamer v. Eddy Guerrero (5.12.02)
You'll notice a lot of mid-'02 and early/mid '04 matches on here. Heat was ON FIRE at both points. I would have argued that it was the best WWE show on the air, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, even Dreamer was tearing shit up at this point. Crazy.
9. Val Venis v. Randy Orton (5.2.04)
10. Acolytes vs. Rodney, Pete Gas & Joey Abs (12.5.99)
Okay, so I don't even really remember this. But if you think I can do an all time Heat list without the Mean Street Posse, you're just being goofy. Right up there with Raven, Stevie and Val as the cornerstones of Heat history.
And the curtain drops on this fine show. Of course, it'll probably be back on the air in a year or two and/or I'll get a 'net connection that will allow me to watch the online stuff. But until then...adieu.
Check back in a week for the TNA Impact recap. New company, same crappy recap. I might pump out a column *gasp* this week as well. Apparently, PWI did a top 100 tag teams list. Midnight Express was #32. I'm down with the PWI kayfabery as much as anyone, but...32? Crikey. Or maybe I'll realize that bitching about a PWI list is mostly pointless and spend my time a bit more wisely. We shall see.
-We open the show with hype for WWE Homecoming (and Shane Douglas just had *another* coronary. AND THAT'S A FACT, JACKASS! What a catchphrase...).
Heart Throbs v. Eugene & Tajiri -
Lilian is wearing shockingly little tonight. That gets this show an automatic thumbs up. Which serves to even out the automatic thumbs down that seeing the Heart Throbs causes. Eugene snatches one of their boas and auditions for the role of Throb #3. Antonio is not amused, jumping him before the bell. He works him over for a bit, but Eugene comes back with...a bite to the ass. Whatever works. A jealous Romeo runs in. Eugene takes him down with a drop toehold and rides him like a pony. Homoeroticism for everyone!
Tajiri tags in. Eugene ties Antonio to the Tree of Joey Lawrence (tm Dave Prazak) and Tajiri follows with a baseball slide dropkick. No decapitation, though. *frowns* Tajiri hits a standing moonsault for two. Romeo kicks him as he bounces off the ropes. Tajiri kills him with a hook kick, but the distraction is effective. Antonio comes back with a clothesline and makes the tag. Heart Throbs plant him with a double Russian legsweep and get two.
Antonio tags back in and the Throbs double up on Tajiri. He inches toward his corner, but Antonio cuts him off and nails Eugene for good measure. Tajiri tries for a backdrop suplex, but Antonio rolls through and takes him down. He goes for...something, but Tajiri kicks him away. Tag to Romeo. Tajiri kicks him away as well. The both move in and, you guessed it, Tajiri kicks them *both* away. Time for the hot tag? Indeed.
Eugene is on fire, he cleans house and possible runs wild as well. Did I miss a cliche? He kicks Romeo in the gut and goes for the Stunner, but gets shoved away. Right into Antonio, coincidentally. Heart Throbs hit the Hart Attack. Romeo covers, save by Tajiri. Throbs doubleteam him, but he drops both with a handspring elbow.
They pair off in opposite corners and the heels get whipped together. They manage to stop short, though. They charge back into the corner and BY GOD, we've got dueling Tarantulas. Ref makes everyone break. Eugene quickly gives Romeo a Stunner and this one is over.
-Kerwin White is on the golf course. He introduces us to his caddy, Nick Nemeth. I know he was called up from OVW, but that's pretty much the entirety of my Nemeth knowledge. He does look like someone I went to high school with, but that doesn't seem like an important factoid to share. So, of course, I just did.
-Commercials
-Clips of the Flair/Carlito matches from the PPV and last week's Raw.
-Commercials
Kerwin White (w/Nick Nemeth) v. Matt Striker -
Striker frustrates Kerwin early, taking him over with a few armdrags. Off comes Kerwin's shirt. He hands it to the ref, distracting him. That allows him to kick Striker in the gut and start pounding on him. Striker comes back with a tackle and takes him over with another armdrag. Kerwin is done screwing around. He dropkicks Striker in the knee and starts stomping on the injured leg. Striker tries to catch a breather in the corner. Kerwin charges, but eats a back elbow.
Second charge and this time Kerwin catches his boot. Doesn't help, though, as he's immediately leveled with a clothesline. And another. Striker adds a hiptoss, starts to celebrate...then suddenly remembers that his leg is hurt. Okay, that was funny. He gives Kerwin a neckbreaker and gets two. Striker is reversed into the corner. Kerwin misses a splash and Striker rolls him into a Fujiwara armbar. Rope break. Drop toehold by Kerwin. He does the Lance Storm roll into a half crab and gets the win. That was sudden.
-Later, Rob Conway squares off with Shelton Benjamin. Sounds like a good way to end the show.
-Commercials
-Clips of the 8 man tag from Raw. Most fun I had watching Raw in weeks.
-Commercials
Rob Conway v. Shelton Benjamin -
Conway goes right to work on the arm. Shelton takes him down and grabs an armbar of his own. Conway counters into a side headlock, but Shelton powers out. He hiptosses Conway and we have ourselves a standoff! Conway gets serious, taking off the shades. He tackles Shelton, then follows with a hiptoss. Elbowdrop misses, however. Shelton fires back and takes him over with a backdrop. Conway bails as we go to break.
-Last Heat commercial. Sadness.
Conway is back in control when we return. Not for long, though, as Shelton comes back punching. He whips Conway into the ropes and ducks his head. Never a good idea. Conway kicks him. Shelton charges, but gets caught in a Hotshot. Conway chokes him for a bit, then plants him with a Hangman's neckbreaker for two. Rear chinlock by Conway. Shelton tries to escape, but it's switched to a rear waistlock. Shelton elbows free, leaps straight to the top rope and comes back with a forearm. Damn impressive.
He whips Conway into the corner and hits the Stinger splash. Backbreaker gets two. Conway shortarms Shelton, kicking him in the gut. He goes for a suplex, but Shelton lands on his feet. He plants Conway with a Samoan drop, causing him to bail out once again. Shelton gives chase and we have ourselves a brawl! Both try to re-enter the ring, but this is ultimately ruled a double countout. Postmatch, they fight and Shelton wins. Ho hum...
Talk about ending not with a bang, but a whimper. TS Eliot knew what time it was. And no, it's not Vader Time. Actually, it's always Vader Time, but...yeah. I'm just confusing myself now.
MORE BONUS CONTENT!
I have to admit, this recap is late less because I'm a lazy git and more so because I'm having a hell of a time making a Top 10 Heat matches list. The line between #10 and say...#53 isn't really all that great. Not to mention that, when the show started at least, Heat wasn't so much a B-show as an extension of Raw. You'd regularly get stuff that would have passed for a PPV match.
So, yeah. This took hours to do, so I hope you enjoy. Again, no particular order and this is just my personal opinion. I'm pretty sure you all realize how infallible that is by now, though.
1. Dudley Boys v. Lance Storm & Val Venis (3.7.04)
This was a *killer* match. Putting it in at #1 might not be a stretch. I believe it was the week before Wrestlemania XX, to win a spot in the tag title match at that show. Had this match taken place at 'Mania itself, it would have been the third best match on the show. I'm surprised to see that, although I've come to HATE the Dudleys, they ended up with a slot on both the Heat and Velocity top tens. Maybe my opinion needs to be re-examined?
2. The Rock v. Mankind - Empty Arena (1.31.99)
Oh, how I love this match. Probably the best comedy match in WWF/E history.
3. Jerry Lynn v. Rob Van Dam (8.5.01)
It was way short and felt neutered next to the ECW matches, but this might have been the only real chance Lynn had to shine in his entire WWF tenure. And for one night, it looked like signing with them hadn't been a giant mistake. Of course, that one night was really all he ever got. Meh.
4. Chavo Guerrero v. Rey Mysterio (9.22.02)
5. Raven v. D'Lo Brown (9.1.02)
You really thought I'd not list Raven on here somewhere? Seriously, though, three people might remember this feud, but trust me...it was awesome.
6. Lance Storm v. Rob Van Dam (3.3.02)
7. Stevie Richards v. Chris Jericho (9.5.04)
Can't do a Heat list without Stevie. There's probably better stuff versus Val as they vied for the prestigious King of Heat crown, but all of the matches run together for me a year later.
8. Tommy Dreamer v. Eddy Guerrero (5.12.02)
You'll notice a lot of mid-'02 and early/mid '04 matches on here. Heat was ON FIRE at both points. I would have argued that it was the best WWE show on the air, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, even Dreamer was tearing shit up at this point. Crazy.
9. Val Venis v. Randy Orton (5.2.04)
10. Acolytes vs. Rodney, Pete Gas & Joey Abs (12.5.99)
Okay, so I don't even really remember this. But if you think I can do an all time Heat list without the Mean Street Posse, you're just being goofy. Right up there with Raven, Stevie and Val as the cornerstones of Heat history.
And the curtain drops on this fine show. Of course, it'll probably be back on the air in a year or two and/or I'll get a 'net connection that will allow me to watch the online stuff. But until then...adieu.
Check back in a week for the TNA Impact recap. New company, same crappy recap. I might pump out a column *gasp* this week as well. Apparently, PWI did a top 100 tag teams list. Midnight Express was #32. I'm down with the PWI kayfabery as much as anyone, but...32? Crikey. Or maybe I'll realize that bitching about a PWI list is mostly pointless and spend my time a bit more wisely. We shall see.
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