Rawbservations: the Final Spike in the Coffin

More Matt in the credits! Hey, Sign Guy v2! Tables? Why tables?

Don Vincenzo? Vince's little "C'mon, cheer" was funny. Sign Guy v2 is 1-for-1. They bleeped USA? They're in league with Hass--oh, right. I'm surprised they didn't dub in a "watch Impact" voice here. Speak on it, Kurt. Okay, THIS is unexpected. Is it wrong Vince & Mick dancing with the Dudette is still one of my 5 favorite RAW moments? HBK/Angle III! 30-minute-ironman! Haven't I been saying that for months?

Trish! (Also, thre's the back kick to the incoming Daniels/Styles match at the TNA PPV. Competition rules.) I thought with the face turn we were getting the booty shorts back. Aw. Sign Guy's 2-2. These Trish/Victoria matches are always a good time. WHOA! Don't be flinging around my future mistress like that! Nice flying lariat from TS. Noggin knocker! F YOU CANDICE! F YOU WILSON! ™ slingshot somersault legdrop. Holy crap, I haven't seen an Indian deathlock since 84. Spider's Web! Knowing I'm one of the 4 people alive who remembers it's calledthat makes me a little sad. DOUBLE queen-sized bump! I missed the Stratusphere. Everybody: MaTRISH! Too long to set up the Stratusfaction--no! Please let them have a match at Taboo Tuesday so I can be there live to propose to Trish. SEE IT. I meant to say, see it. Stop judging me with your eyes! Heads up, Torrie! See, there's how you win over the fans. Hey! You take that back, you bootleg Joy Giovanni, or I'll hit you so hard Ike Turner'll flinch!

Everybody loves Big Show. Why is this? Oddly, a lot of technical difficulties tonight. I Am In Shock. SKILLET CHOP. Holy crap, they're swinging for the fences. Nice reversal, Show. That's just funny. Sign Guy: 3-3.

Okay, he's batshit insane now. But when I was growing up, Warrior was #1.

4H~! That's what I'm talking about. You know, I was hoping for Arn and they just didn't even get close. BOOOOOOO. You know as muchHh as I'm dreading the inevitable with that guitar riff, the idea of Ric being Sting to somebody else's Flair is just really karmic justice.

How long until Nemeth gets the "Who's your caddy?" chant in OVW? Everybody now: Shelton deserves better.

Here come the wife stealer (word arup). Neck brace! Ha! Bet that ruined her weekend. Every time I see Lita, I think of Sam Kinison. Why IS that? Mike Awesome on line 1, Adam. And they're already chanting Hardy all they like--are you Canadian or slow?

Doesn't that make them V Cubed? Sign Guy still has the perfect game going. Val knew it wasn't St. Patrick's Day, right?

SIGN GUY! That's the best one of the night! Oh, right: Buff! Daddy! Buff! Daddy! Eugene emulating Bryan Danielson there. Why do they insist on the turnbuckle smash? Does nobody do their homework going into a match with Eugene? Retarded People's Elbow! Anybody not see that ending coming?

Sign Guy's got 3 entrances to make it--talk about an awesome programming decision to go to commercial. If Cena's really street, he knows Puerto Rican judo. Flying Santana, J.R., not burrito. Bobby's still kicking. WHOA! Nice FU/NyQuiLock/Cool Effect series. HBK taking out Cena was nice. Shawn's look during the setup to the People's Fistdrop was nice.

Ugh, and now I'm going to have to suffer through Leno. Yes, Jessica Alba's on, why else would I watch that soulless fat-chinned bastard?

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