ECW on Sci-Fi (9.12.06)
Playing catch up here. Sorry for the delay. This week's episode *might* be up later tonight (depends if I want to watch the premiere of Jericho that is taping as I type this later tonight or not), but this weekend is looking more realistic. In other news...huzzah! Johnny is posting stuff again! Now then, last week's ECW, not so hot off the presses. Really, though, being only 8 days late with a recap is actually pretty good for me. Heh.
-We open with the opening montage. Crazy! I can tell this show is gonna be special already.
-Paul Heyman is out with his security team. He wants to thank the person responsible for getting ECW to the hallowed halls of Madison Square Garden. Himself, of course! He yammers on for a bit, bringing out Sabu. He kills the riot squad dudes with chairshots. Heyman tells him that tonight's match with Big Show has officially been changed to Extreme Rules.
-Up next, Rob Van Dam faces Bob Holly. Again. I bet it ends in a DQ. Prove me wrong, ECW!
-Commercials. The premiere movie that you probably missed (because you suckas wouldn't know truly fine cinema if it'd bite you on the ass!) was Shapeshifter. Not a single cast member I've ever heard of. That's gotta mean good things, right?
Rob Van Dam v. Bob Holly -
Back and forth brawl to start. RVD takes Holly over with a 'rana. He gets backdropped over the top and to the floor and Holly follows him out with a pescado! RVD overshoots a moonsault off of the barricade, flying over Holly's head and barely grazing him. Holly is kind enough to take the bump anyway. Back in the ring, Holly connects with a pair of legdrops and gets two.
Holly reverses a whip and nails RVD with a dropkick. He covers, but Van Dam again escapes at two. Holly slams him and climbs to the second rope. He comes off with an awkward looking elbow, but RVD gets a boot up. He hits Holly with his windmill kick, then follows with Rolling Thunder for a nearfall of his own. He whips Holly into the corner and scores with his tumbling monkey flip!
This time, Holly reverses a whip, but ends up charging into an elbow. RVD leaps to the top, but gets crotched. Holly is looking for a superplex, but gets shoved to the mat. Out come Stevie Richards, Test and Mike Knox. Test plants RVD with a full Nelson slam and yep...we have a DQ. Huzzah to predictability! Sandman and Dreamer are out to make the save. Stevie is left to be the sacrificial lamb, taking a DDT and Five Star.
-Clips from the Show/Sabu match three weeks ago.
-Commercials
-Quick segment for The Marine.
CM Punk v. Shannon Moore -
Before the match, we see clips of the AWESOME from last week's show. Really, I swear to god that Shannon Moore is crying.
Moore gets in Punk's face and smacks him. He pounds on Punk for a bit and goes for a Tornado DDT. Punk shrugs him off. Moore charges, but gets caught in the hanging Octopus. Springboard clothesline by Punk. He lays in a series of kneelifts as the crowd chants for him. Punk whips him into the corner and follows with a running knee strike. Bulldog follows. KENTA rush, uranage, Anaconda Vice and this one is over.
What an auspicious debut for Shannon Moore. It was certainly worth waiting two months to see. Ahem...
-Rene Dupree debuts next. God, just kill me now.
-Commercials
-Backstage, the FBI congratulate Punk on his win. As does Kelly Kelly. She's a fan of Punk, you see. She'd like to go to a club with him, but...alas...she's only 19. She tells him that they might not be able to go out, but they *could* stay in. Meaning that she wants to fuck him, I surmise. Mike Knox drags her off. He doesn't seem to like his girlfriend fucking other guys. What a prude.
-Kevin Thorn and Ariel (who's looking like an even more boobed out, vampiric Bettie Page tonight) are out to watch the next match.
Rene Dupree v. Balls Mahoney -
Dupree jumps Balls as soon as he rolls in. Balls blocks a ram into the corner and comes back punching. He whips Dupree into the corner, but misses a charge. Dupree springboards off the bottom rope and hits an elbow. Tazz: "That's extreme?" Extreme enough for a two count, brutha. Spinal Tap by Dupree gets another nearfall. He comes off the second rope with another elbow, getting two count number three.
FRENCH TICKLER fistdrop! They trade strikes and Balls comes back with his sitout spinebuster. He connects with a spinkick that sends both guys over the top rope. Thorn approaches, but gets nails by Balls. He rolls Dupree in and grabs a chair. Ref is distracted, allowing Thorn to kick Balls off of the apron. Balls bumps *hard* into the steps. Dupree rolls him in and gets the win.
I just threw up in my mouth a little. Ugh. At least Ariel is super hot.
-Commercials
-Matt Striker says big words. Also, he again uses the phrase, "giggle water." I mark out for that every single time, for no apparent reason. Tremendous!
-Clips from Raw featuring Big Show.
Big Show (w/Heyman & crew) v. Sabu - ECW Title - Extreme Rules -
Sabu starts setting up tables at ringside as we go to break.
-Commercials
Let's shorten this recap a bit. Show is really, really big. Sabu isn't. Ergo, Show mauls Sabu, who does little but bump around like crazy. The riot squad gets involved here and there. Tables are broken (#1: Sabu reverses a chokeslam into a DDT; #2: Show bumps through the ropes and falls through one and #3: Show catches a triple jump dive and chokeslams Sabu through). Show pins Sabu clean. The end.
Have I mentioned that I don't like recapping Big Show matches?
-We open with the opening montage. Crazy! I can tell this show is gonna be special already.
-Paul Heyman is out with his security team. He wants to thank the person responsible for getting ECW to the hallowed halls of Madison Square Garden. Himself, of course! He yammers on for a bit, bringing out Sabu. He kills the riot squad dudes with chairshots. Heyman tells him that tonight's match with Big Show has officially been changed to Extreme Rules.
-Up next, Rob Van Dam faces Bob Holly. Again. I bet it ends in a DQ. Prove me wrong, ECW!
-Commercials. The premiere movie that you probably missed (because you suckas wouldn't know truly fine cinema if it'd bite you on the ass!) was Shapeshifter. Not a single cast member I've ever heard of. That's gotta mean good things, right?
Rob Van Dam v. Bob Holly -
Back and forth brawl to start. RVD takes Holly over with a 'rana. He gets backdropped over the top and to the floor and Holly follows him out with a pescado! RVD overshoots a moonsault off of the barricade, flying over Holly's head and barely grazing him. Holly is kind enough to take the bump anyway. Back in the ring, Holly connects with a pair of legdrops and gets two.
Holly reverses a whip and nails RVD with a dropkick. He covers, but Van Dam again escapes at two. Holly slams him and climbs to the second rope. He comes off with an awkward looking elbow, but RVD gets a boot up. He hits Holly with his windmill kick, then follows with Rolling Thunder for a nearfall of his own. He whips Holly into the corner and scores with his tumbling monkey flip!
This time, Holly reverses a whip, but ends up charging into an elbow. RVD leaps to the top, but gets crotched. Holly is looking for a superplex, but gets shoved to the mat. Out come Stevie Richards, Test and Mike Knox. Test plants RVD with a full Nelson slam and yep...we have a DQ. Huzzah to predictability! Sandman and Dreamer are out to make the save. Stevie is left to be the sacrificial lamb, taking a DDT and Five Star.
-Clips from the Show/Sabu match three weeks ago.
-Commercials
-Quick segment for The Marine.
CM Punk v. Shannon Moore -
Before the match, we see clips of the AWESOME from last week's show. Really, I swear to god that Shannon Moore is crying.
Moore gets in Punk's face and smacks him. He pounds on Punk for a bit and goes for a Tornado DDT. Punk shrugs him off. Moore charges, but gets caught in the hanging Octopus. Springboard clothesline by Punk. He lays in a series of kneelifts as the crowd chants for him. Punk whips him into the corner and follows with a running knee strike. Bulldog follows. KENTA rush, uranage, Anaconda Vice and this one is over.
What an auspicious debut for Shannon Moore. It was certainly worth waiting two months to see. Ahem...
-Rene Dupree debuts next. God, just kill me now.
-Commercials
-Backstage, the FBI congratulate Punk on his win. As does Kelly Kelly. She's a fan of Punk, you see. She'd like to go to a club with him, but...alas...she's only 19. She tells him that they might not be able to go out, but they *could* stay in. Meaning that she wants to fuck him, I surmise. Mike Knox drags her off. He doesn't seem to like his girlfriend fucking other guys. What a prude.
-Kevin Thorn and Ariel (who's looking like an even more boobed out, vampiric Bettie Page tonight) are out to watch the next match.
Rene Dupree v. Balls Mahoney -
Dupree jumps Balls as soon as he rolls in. Balls blocks a ram into the corner and comes back punching. He whips Dupree into the corner, but misses a charge. Dupree springboards off the bottom rope and hits an elbow. Tazz: "That's extreme?" Extreme enough for a two count, brutha. Spinal Tap by Dupree gets another nearfall. He comes off the second rope with another elbow, getting two count number three.
FRENCH TICKLER fistdrop! They trade strikes and Balls comes back with his sitout spinebuster. He connects with a spinkick that sends both guys over the top rope. Thorn approaches, but gets nails by Balls. He rolls Dupree in and grabs a chair. Ref is distracted, allowing Thorn to kick Balls off of the apron. Balls bumps *hard* into the steps. Dupree rolls him in and gets the win.
I just threw up in my mouth a little. Ugh. At least Ariel is super hot.
-Commercials
-Matt Striker says big words. Also, he again uses the phrase, "giggle water." I mark out for that every single time, for no apparent reason. Tremendous!
-Clips from Raw featuring Big Show.
Big Show (w/Heyman & crew) v. Sabu - ECW Title - Extreme Rules -
Sabu starts setting up tables at ringside as we go to break.
-Commercials
Let's shorten this recap a bit. Show is really, really big. Sabu isn't. Ergo, Show mauls Sabu, who does little but bump around like crazy. The riot squad gets involved here and there. Tables are broken (#1: Sabu reverses a chokeslam into a DDT; #2: Show bumps through the ropes and falls through one and #3: Show catches a triple jump dive and chokeslams Sabu through). Show pins Sabu clean. The end.
Have I mentioned that I don't like recapping Big Show matches?
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