ECW on Sci-Fi (9.26.06)
-Amazingly enough, TNA actually managed to pull a surprise out of their asses that was every bit as major as it was hyped to be. Not sure how I feel about Kurt Angle in TNA with all of the reports on his general health, but yeah...a small part of me totally geeks out at the thought of Angle v. Samoa Joe. Guess we'll all just have to wait and see how things shake out. While we wait, here's an ECW recap for you!
-Opening montage
-Later tonight, Sandman challenged Big Show for the ECW Title. The match can't possibly be good under any condition, but it does have the potential to be a fun trainwreck. Let's hope for the best!
-BOOMER SOONER! It's Jim Ross! He thanks both Tazz and Joey Styles for inviting him to be on the show. Of course, neither of them can recall doing so. Ha! JR totally bumrushed the show like the gangsta he is! He talks about Mid-South Wrestling and puts over the ECW product, saying that he's a big fan.
Matt Striker comes out. He runs JR down, calling him blue collar. He fails to use the phrase, "giggle water." Sadness. Sandman is out! Striker begs off, but Sandman canes him. He then hands the cane to JR, who gets in a shot of his own. They celebrate with a beer and JR toasts, "the next ECW Champion."
-Van Dam and Holly square off (again...) next!
-Eric Bischoff hypes his book. Man, if he wrote a book that was even 35% truthful, it'd be an amazing read. Funny thing is, most everything he has to say is true (to an extent), but WWE has fed the world the same lies for so long that they've become the truth. To sum up, I miss WCW.
-Commercials. No premiere movie this week. Stupid Sci-Fi can't even give me the pleasure of knocking a stupid movie this week. Instead, Face/Off will air. And that's actually a *good* movie, so I can't even bitch. Damn.
-The Divas will play Extreme Strip Poker on ECW in two weeks. Get your tissues ready. Or something. I, of course, am looking forward to it simply because it's a segment I can fast forward through when I do my recap. Huzzah!
-Hardcore Holly promo. He's not going to stand around and tell Rob Van Dam what he's going to do. He's headed to the ring to SHOW him.
Hardcore Holly v. Rob Van Dam - Extreme Rules -
Shit. I can't even predict a lame DQ ending here.
Both guys are looking for a hiptoss, but neither can pull it off. RVD settles for an armdrag. He whips Holly into the corner and follows him in with a spinkick. He goes for his taunt and Holly responds by kicking him in the gut. He whips RVD into the ropes and ducks his head. Van Dam rolls over him and connects with a superkick. He follows up with a clothesline and kicks Holly to the floor.
Again with the pose. This time, Holly yanks him to the floor. He goes for a suplex, but RVD blocks it and dumps him onto the barricade. Corkscrew legdrop off the apron. Van Dam sets up a table at ringside, allowing Holly to recover. He jumps RVD from behind and rams him into the steps. He pounds on him a bit, then whips him hard into the ringpost. Holly rolls him in, drops a leg and picks up a nearfall.
They trade strikes in the corner. Van Dam whips Holly into the opposite corner, but runs into a boot. Holly chokes him in the ropes and locks him in a camel clutch. RVD uses the ropes to pull himself to a standing position, but Holly just releases the hold and starts nailing him with forearms across the chest. RVD fires back. He bounces off the ropes, but Holly levels him with a back elbow. Cover gets two.
Van Dam tries to punch his way back into the match, but a quick rake of the eyes ends that. Holly whips him into the ropes, but RVD hangs on. Holly charges and gets elevated onto the apron. They fight back and forth, looking for a suplex. Holly finally gets it, suplexing Van Dam over the top rope and through the table at ringside. Ouch.
-Commercials
Ouch indeed. Holly has a wicked gash across his back and is bleeding all over the place. He sets up a chair in the ring and drops Van Dam throatfirst across the top. He covers, but RVD escapes at two. Holly lays the chair on RVD's head and climbs to the second rope. Legdrop connects! Another nearfall.
Holly is looking to suplex RVD onto the chair. It's blocked and Van Dam spins him around, suplexing Holly onto the chair instead. He levels Holly with a pair of clotheslines, then whips him into the corner. Tumbling monkey flip is a success. He comes off the top with the Ryder kick. Holly slowly crawls into the corner, then wishes he wouldn't have, as RVD skateboards a chair into his face.
Van Dam lays the chair on top of Holly and hits Rolling Thunder. Cover gets two. He's looking for another tumbling monkey flip, but this time, Holly powerbombs him onto the chair, picking up a nearfall of his own. He tries to ram RVD into the corner, but it's blocked. RVD scores with a kick. He puts the chair on Holly and heads up top. Five Star? Holly says eh eh, tossing the chair into RVD's face. Nasty. Cover gets two.
Holly is looking to finish RVD off with the Alabama Slam. RVD tries to reverse into a sunset flip, but Holly punches free. He picks up the chair, but turns directly into a Van Daminator. Van Dam leaps to the top and this time, the Five Star frogsplash connects. Van Dam covers and picks up the win.
Holy shit, was this ever awesome! Best match they've run in ECW 2.0 so far. The trainers immediately come in and wrap up Holly's back. They play the music of both guys and the crowd gives Holly a well deserved ovation. My apologies for shitting on this match before it even happened. I am sick of the match up, but if they're willing to go balls out like this, I'll be happy to watch it every single week...
-CM Punk promo. Kelly Kelly interrupts. She notices the "4 aces" tattoo that Punk has and decides that he can help her win the strip poker game. Mike Knox comes up and wants to know what the deal is between Punk and his girl. Punk points out that the fence Knox has built around her is apparently not high enough, because she keeps jumping into Punk's yard. Knox is going to go straighten K² out, then he's going to come looking for Punk, who promises to wait right there...
-Commercials
-Feature on The Marine.
Ariel (w/Kevin Thorn) v. Francine - Extreme Catfight -
Franny strips the "freaky bat chick," as Tazz so lovingly refers to Ariel. Not sure what they were going for, but they might have hit possibly the ugliest snapmare spot ever performed in wrestling history. Thorn quickly comes in and holds Francine, allowing Ariel to get in a few shots. Balls Mahoney makes the save and blasts Thorn with a chairshot. Ah, there's our lame DQ finish o' the week!
Nothing match, but Ariel sure is hot.
-Sandman video, showing him using the cane.
-Show chats with Paul Heyman backstage. Show declares that the cane will be legal tonight and tells Paul E. and crew to stay in the back.
-Commercials
-The three hour Raw Family Reunion special is two weeks away. Perhaps I'll recap it, since all three rosters will be involved.
-Renee Dupree gets out of the shower. He's *still* extreme. Then he looks at his wang and laughs. Not sure what to make of that.
-Big Show/Sandman intros.
-Commercials
Big Show v. Sandman - ECW Title
Cane, cane, cane, cane. Show is busted open. Sandman drops the cane. Show kills him. Sandman comes back with punches and grabs the cane. Cane, cane, cane, cane. Comes off the top with another cane shot, then drops it to make the cover. Show escapes at two. Matt Striker comes out and ganks the cane. Sandman is sad. Show kills him with a Cobra backbreaker and Showstopper legdrop. Cover, Show wins.
I know I tend to slack on recapping Big Show matches, but that was essentially the entire match. I promise. Not good or anything, but possibly the best possible Show/Sandman match we could have expected.
-Opening montage
-Later tonight, Sandman challenged Big Show for the ECW Title. The match can't possibly be good under any condition, but it does have the potential to be a fun trainwreck. Let's hope for the best!
-BOOMER SOONER! It's Jim Ross! He thanks both Tazz and Joey Styles for inviting him to be on the show. Of course, neither of them can recall doing so. Ha! JR totally bumrushed the show like the gangsta he is! He talks about Mid-South Wrestling and puts over the ECW product, saying that he's a big fan.
Matt Striker comes out. He runs JR down, calling him blue collar. He fails to use the phrase, "giggle water." Sadness. Sandman is out! Striker begs off, but Sandman canes him. He then hands the cane to JR, who gets in a shot of his own. They celebrate with a beer and JR toasts, "the next ECW Champion."
-Van Dam and Holly square off (again...) next!
-Eric Bischoff hypes his book. Man, if he wrote a book that was even 35% truthful, it'd be an amazing read. Funny thing is, most everything he has to say is true (to an extent), but WWE has fed the world the same lies for so long that they've become the truth. To sum up, I miss WCW.
-Commercials. No premiere movie this week. Stupid Sci-Fi can't even give me the pleasure of knocking a stupid movie this week. Instead, Face/Off will air. And that's actually a *good* movie, so I can't even bitch. Damn.
-The Divas will play Extreme Strip Poker on ECW in two weeks. Get your tissues ready. Or something. I, of course, am looking forward to it simply because it's a segment I can fast forward through when I do my recap. Huzzah!
-Hardcore Holly promo. He's not going to stand around and tell Rob Van Dam what he's going to do. He's headed to the ring to SHOW him.
Hardcore Holly v. Rob Van Dam - Extreme Rules -
Shit. I can't even predict a lame DQ ending here.
Both guys are looking for a hiptoss, but neither can pull it off. RVD settles for an armdrag. He whips Holly into the corner and follows him in with a spinkick. He goes for his taunt and Holly responds by kicking him in the gut. He whips RVD into the ropes and ducks his head. Van Dam rolls over him and connects with a superkick. He follows up with a clothesline and kicks Holly to the floor.
Again with the pose. This time, Holly yanks him to the floor. He goes for a suplex, but RVD blocks it and dumps him onto the barricade. Corkscrew legdrop off the apron. Van Dam sets up a table at ringside, allowing Holly to recover. He jumps RVD from behind and rams him into the steps. He pounds on him a bit, then whips him hard into the ringpost. Holly rolls him in, drops a leg and picks up a nearfall.
They trade strikes in the corner. Van Dam whips Holly into the opposite corner, but runs into a boot. Holly chokes him in the ropes and locks him in a camel clutch. RVD uses the ropes to pull himself to a standing position, but Holly just releases the hold and starts nailing him with forearms across the chest. RVD fires back. He bounces off the ropes, but Holly levels him with a back elbow. Cover gets two.
Van Dam tries to punch his way back into the match, but a quick rake of the eyes ends that. Holly whips him into the ropes, but RVD hangs on. Holly charges and gets elevated onto the apron. They fight back and forth, looking for a suplex. Holly finally gets it, suplexing Van Dam over the top rope and through the table at ringside. Ouch.
-Commercials
Ouch indeed. Holly has a wicked gash across his back and is bleeding all over the place. He sets up a chair in the ring and drops Van Dam throatfirst across the top. He covers, but RVD escapes at two. Holly lays the chair on RVD's head and climbs to the second rope. Legdrop connects! Another nearfall.
Holly is looking to suplex RVD onto the chair. It's blocked and Van Dam spins him around, suplexing Holly onto the chair instead. He levels Holly with a pair of clotheslines, then whips him into the corner. Tumbling monkey flip is a success. He comes off the top with the Ryder kick. Holly slowly crawls into the corner, then wishes he wouldn't have, as RVD skateboards a chair into his face.
Van Dam lays the chair on top of Holly and hits Rolling Thunder. Cover gets two. He's looking for another tumbling monkey flip, but this time, Holly powerbombs him onto the chair, picking up a nearfall of his own. He tries to ram RVD into the corner, but it's blocked. RVD scores with a kick. He puts the chair on Holly and heads up top. Five Star? Holly says eh eh, tossing the chair into RVD's face. Nasty. Cover gets two.
Holly is looking to finish RVD off with the Alabama Slam. RVD tries to reverse into a sunset flip, but Holly punches free. He picks up the chair, but turns directly into a Van Daminator. Van Dam leaps to the top and this time, the Five Star frogsplash connects. Van Dam covers and picks up the win.
Holy shit, was this ever awesome! Best match they've run in ECW 2.0 so far. The trainers immediately come in and wrap up Holly's back. They play the music of both guys and the crowd gives Holly a well deserved ovation. My apologies for shitting on this match before it even happened. I am sick of the match up, but if they're willing to go balls out like this, I'll be happy to watch it every single week...
-CM Punk promo. Kelly Kelly interrupts. She notices the "4 aces" tattoo that Punk has and decides that he can help her win the strip poker game. Mike Knox comes up and wants to know what the deal is between Punk and his girl. Punk points out that the fence Knox has built around her is apparently not high enough, because she keeps jumping into Punk's yard. Knox is going to go straighten K² out, then he's going to come looking for Punk, who promises to wait right there...
-Commercials
-Feature on The Marine.
Ariel (w/Kevin Thorn) v. Francine - Extreme Catfight -
Franny strips the "freaky bat chick," as Tazz so lovingly refers to Ariel. Not sure what they were going for, but they might have hit possibly the ugliest snapmare spot ever performed in wrestling history. Thorn quickly comes in and holds Francine, allowing Ariel to get in a few shots. Balls Mahoney makes the save and blasts Thorn with a chairshot. Ah, there's our lame DQ finish o' the week!
Nothing match, but Ariel sure is hot.
-Sandman video, showing him using the cane.
-Show chats with Paul Heyman backstage. Show declares that the cane will be legal tonight and tells Paul E. and crew to stay in the back.
-Commercials
-The three hour Raw Family Reunion special is two weeks away. Perhaps I'll recap it, since all three rosters will be involved.
-Renee Dupree gets out of the shower. He's *still* extreme. Then he looks at his wang and laughs. Not sure what to make of that.
-Big Show/Sandman intros.
-Commercials
Big Show v. Sandman - ECW Title
Cane, cane, cane, cane. Show is busted open. Sandman drops the cane. Show kills him. Sandman comes back with punches and grabs the cane. Cane, cane, cane, cane. Comes off the top with another cane shot, then drops it to make the cover. Show escapes at two. Matt Striker comes out and ganks the cane. Sandman is sad. Show kills him with a Cobra backbreaker and Showstopper legdrop. Cover, Show wins.
I know I tend to slack on recapping Big Show matches, but that was essentially the entire match. I promise. Not good or anything, but possibly the best possible Show/Sandman match we could have expected.
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