ECW on Sci-Fi (9.5.06)
-Recap of the Big Show/DX feud.
-DX arrives at the building. "Bingo!" sez Triple H. You see, it's funny because ECW used to run in a bingo hall. Hy-larious!
-Opening montage.
-That there handicap match is tonight! Does it really deserve an exclamation point? Probably not.
Sabu & Rob Van Dam v. Test & Mike Knox (w/Kelly Kelly) - Extreme Rules -
Sabu opens the match with a single leg takedown on Knox. He's quickly overrun by Knox's power, though. He whips Sabu into the corner, but runs into his boots. Sabu comes off the second rope with a clothesline. Tag to Van Dam. Knox catches him coming in and pounds on him. He backs him into the heel corner. Cut to Sabu, who's pulling a table from under the ring. Knox slams RVD. Now Sabu has a chair. Test tags in.
Sabu sets up the table directly in front of the announce table. Test whips RVD into the corner and follows with a clothesline. Van Dam reverses him into the opposite corner and connects with a spinkick. He flattens Test with a superkick and RVD/Sabu hit Rolling Thunder. Cover, save by Knox. Everyone is in and the ECW portion of the match has officially begun. Sabu/RVD whip Knox into the corner and hit dueling springboard leg lariats!
Knox jumps Sabu on the floor and rams him into the steps. RVD comes off the apron, taking him down with a crossbody. Back in the ring, Test presses Sabu, then spins around, showing him off to the crowd. RVD comes off the top and absolutely MURDERS him with a Ryder kick. Brutal. Knox runs in, leveling RVD with a clothesline. Test is back on his feet.
He's looking to powerbomb RVD over the top and through the table. He hoists him up, but RVD counters into a sunset flip for two. He and Knox end up brawling on the apron. Test joins them. Sabu vaults off of a chair and hits the pile with a crossbody and all four end up crashing through the table. Nifty!
-Commercials. I've been remiss. Usually I run down nifty commercials and I've not been doing that. So allow me to debut a new feature of this recap, where I'll tell you what awesomer than awesome movie Sci-Fi will be debuting on Saturday night! This week? Sasquatch Mountain! Lance Henriksen is in it, so it's already got me hooked...
Sabu rolls Test into the ring. He sets up for the Triple Jump moonsault, but Test trips him and he crashes into the chair. Test gives him a chair assisted slam and gets two. He tosses Sabu out, then turns into a chair thrown by Van Dam. Test collapses into the corner. RVD skateboards a chair into his face. He heads up top, but Knox cuts him off with a chairshot from the floor. He comes in and scores with a top rope superplex!
Sabu immediately runs in and hits an Arabian Facebuster on Knox for two. Camel Clutch on Knox. He holds a chair in front of Knox's face and RVD connects with a baseball slide dropkick. Cover, save by Test. He whips Sabu into the corner, but charges into a drop toehold. Air Sabu connects. Test collapses onto the edge of the chair. Hard. Maybe the...third coolest thing he's ever done.
Sabu scores with the Triple Jump moonsault and gets two. Van Dam tosses Test out. Sabu slides another table into the ring. Knox lifts RVD for a slam. He slips away and Sabu tosses a chair in Knox's face. Knox is on the table. RVD tosses a chair at Test, knocking him off the apron. Sabu/RVD up top...double legdrop to Knox, sending him through the table! Sabu covers and gets the win!
Hot damn, was that ever awesome! Total, err...ECW stuntfest. I had almost forgotten how fun Sabu and RVD are together. It was by no means a technical classic, but sometimes, "fun" wrestling can be better than "good" wrestling, if that makes any sense. Best match ECW 2.0 had put out yet.
-Show prepares himself for later.
-Commercials
-Kevin Thorn and Ariel make out. That girl has some boobies on her.
-Matt Striker comes out. He makes a highly questionable Steve Irwin joke that makes the entire crowd groan and, uhh...Sandman is out. Striker bails. Sandman adds SUX to the blackboard with Striker's name. The announcers wisely point out the misspelling.
-Commercials
-Segment on The Marine. That chick (IMDb tells me that her name is Kelly Carlson) who plays Cena's wife is pretty damn cute.
-Thorn and Ariel come out to watch the next match. But not before Ariel dry humps Styles.
Balls Mahoney v. Stevie Richards -
Back to back Stevie weeks? I feel blessed!
Balls is distracted and Stevie jumps him. Balls comes right back, whipping Stevie into the corner. He charges, but the splash misses. Stevie plants him with a hangman's neckbreaker and gets two. He drives some knees to Balls' back and grabs a rear chinlock. Balls breaks free, but takes a facebuster for his troubles. Cover gets two.
Stevie mocks Balls with the big wind-up punch. Balls ducks it and fires back. He hits some sort of leg trap Russian legsweep and gets a nearfall. Thorn and Ariel are on the apron. Stevie low blows Balls, who staggers into a shot from Thorn's cane. Stevie quickly rolls him up and gets the win! Go Stevie!
-Backstage, DX heads to the ring.
-Commercials
-Shannon Moore: "I'm the Prince of Punk and I'm bringing sex back." I wasn't aware it was ever gone. Neither was CM Punk, who steps into the picture. He calls Shannon a poser and slaps him. Shannon looks like he might cry. Awesome.
Big Show v. DX - Extreme Rules -
Heyman is out. He's had an attack of conscience. He can't sanction an Extreme Rules match. It's simply unfair. After all, Show would totally killify DX and no one wants to see that happen. In the interest of fairness, standard rules apply.
-Commercials
DX attacks, but is quickly shoved away. Show whips Triple H into the ropes and ducks his head. Kick by Trips. HBK goes for a DDT. Show elevates him, but a quick kick to the ribs by HHH allows Michaels to complete the move. Much chopping of crotches ensues. HBK covers, but Show easily kicks out. DX pounds on him and goes for a double suplex.
Show knees his way free and suplexes HBK. He dominates for a bit, but ends up missing an elbow off the second rope. They tease a ref bump, but he makes it out unscathed, as Show charges into an empty corner. Heyman's security pulls the top rope down and HBK bumps to the floor. They work him over and attack Triple H as well.
HBK is brought back in with a biel. Show press slams him and locks a bearhug. Michaels rakes his eyes to escape. Goozle by Show, but Triple H is back in. Show reverses a whip and ducks his head. Facebuster to the knee by Triple H. Show charges out of the corner, but is planted with a spinebuster.
Security is on the apron, but DX clears them off. Somersault pescado onto the pile by HBK! Triple H hooks Show for a Pedigree, but Hardcore Holly runs out and attacks him, forcing a DQ. Holly clotheslines HHH over the top. Michaels is back in. He connects with a flying forearm and gives Holly an inverted atomic drop. He turns, though, and Show levels him.
Security is in. Triple H makes the save with the sledgehammer. The people who matter bail and the poor security team is laid out with Sweet Chin Music and a sledgehammer shot to the head. DX stands tall as the show ends...
Not much to this. You'd have been silly to expect anything from it, though. It gave DX their ECW cameo, so I guess it served it's purpose.
-DX arrives at the building. "Bingo!" sez Triple H. You see, it's funny because ECW used to run in a bingo hall. Hy-larious!
-Opening montage.
-That there handicap match is tonight! Does it really deserve an exclamation point? Probably not.
Sabu & Rob Van Dam v. Test & Mike Knox (w/Kelly Kelly) - Extreme Rules -
Sabu opens the match with a single leg takedown on Knox. He's quickly overrun by Knox's power, though. He whips Sabu into the corner, but runs into his boots. Sabu comes off the second rope with a clothesline. Tag to Van Dam. Knox catches him coming in and pounds on him. He backs him into the heel corner. Cut to Sabu, who's pulling a table from under the ring. Knox slams RVD. Now Sabu has a chair. Test tags in.
Sabu sets up the table directly in front of the announce table. Test whips RVD into the corner and follows with a clothesline. Van Dam reverses him into the opposite corner and connects with a spinkick. He flattens Test with a superkick and RVD/Sabu hit Rolling Thunder. Cover, save by Knox. Everyone is in and the ECW portion of the match has officially begun. Sabu/RVD whip Knox into the corner and hit dueling springboard leg lariats!
Knox jumps Sabu on the floor and rams him into the steps. RVD comes off the apron, taking him down with a crossbody. Back in the ring, Test presses Sabu, then spins around, showing him off to the crowd. RVD comes off the top and absolutely MURDERS him with a Ryder kick. Brutal. Knox runs in, leveling RVD with a clothesline. Test is back on his feet.
He's looking to powerbomb RVD over the top and through the table. He hoists him up, but RVD counters into a sunset flip for two. He and Knox end up brawling on the apron. Test joins them. Sabu vaults off of a chair and hits the pile with a crossbody and all four end up crashing through the table. Nifty!
-Commercials. I've been remiss. Usually I run down nifty commercials and I've not been doing that. So allow me to debut a new feature of this recap, where I'll tell you what awesomer than awesome movie Sci-Fi will be debuting on Saturday night! This week? Sasquatch Mountain! Lance Henriksen is in it, so it's already got me hooked...
Sabu rolls Test into the ring. He sets up for the Triple Jump moonsault, but Test trips him and he crashes into the chair. Test gives him a chair assisted slam and gets two. He tosses Sabu out, then turns into a chair thrown by Van Dam. Test collapses into the corner. RVD skateboards a chair into his face. He heads up top, but Knox cuts him off with a chairshot from the floor. He comes in and scores with a top rope superplex!
Sabu immediately runs in and hits an Arabian Facebuster on Knox for two. Camel Clutch on Knox. He holds a chair in front of Knox's face and RVD connects with a baseball slide dropkick. Cover, save by Test. He whips Sabu into the corner, but charges into a drop toehold. Air Sabu connects. Test collapses onto the edge of the chair. Hard. Maybe the...third coolest thing he's ever done.
Sabu scores with the Triple Jump moonsault and gets two. Van Dam tosses Test out. Sabu slides another table into the ring. Knox lifts RVD for a slam. He slips away and Sabu tosses a chair in Knox's face. Knox is on the table. RVD tosses a chair at Test, knocking him off the apron. Sabu/RVD up top...double legdrop to Knox, sending him through the table! Sabu covers and gets the win!
Hot damn, was that ever awesome! Total, err...ECW stuntfest. I had almost forgotten how fun Sabu and RVD are together. It was by no means a technical classic, but sometimes, "fun" wrestling can be better than "good" wrestling, if that makes any sense. Best match ECW 2.0 had put out yet.
-Show prepares himself for later.
-Commercials
-Kevin Thorn and Ariel make out. That girl has some boobies on her.
-Matt Striker comes out. He makes a highly questionable Steve Irwin joke that makes the entire crowd groan and, uhh...Sandman is out. Striker bails. Sandman adds SUX to the blackboard with Striker's name. The announcers wisely point out the misspelling.
-Commercials
-Segment on The Marine. That chick (IMDb tells me that her name is Kelly Carlson) who plays Cena's wife is pretty damn cute.
-Thorn and Ariel come out to watch the next match. But not before Ariel dry humps Styles.
Balls Mahoney v. Stevie Richards -
Back to back Stevie weeks? I feel blessed!
Balls is distracted and Stevie jumps him. Balls comes right back, whipping Stevie into the corner. He charges, but the splash misses. Stevie plants him with a hangman's neckbreaker and gets two. He drives some knees to Balls' back and grabs a rear chinlock. Balls breaks free, but takes a facebuster for his troubles. Cover gets two.
Stevie mocks Balls with the big wind-up punch. Balls ducks it and fires back. He hits some sort of leg trap Russian legsweep and gets a nearfall. Thorn and Ariel are on the apron. Stevie low blows Balls, who staggers into a shot from Thorn's cane. Stevie quickly rolls him up and gets the win! Go Stevie!
-Backstage, DX heads to the ring.
-Commercials
-Shannon Moore: "I'm the Prince of Punk and I'm bringing sex back." I wasn't aware it was ever gone. Neither was CM Punk, who steps into the picture. He calls Shannon a poser and slaps him. Shannon looks like he might cry. Awesome.
Big Show v. DX - Extreme Rules -
Heyman is out. He's had an attack of conscience. He can't sanction an Extreme Rules match. It's simply unfair. After all, Show would totally killify DX and no one wants to see that happen. In the interest of fairness, standard rules apply.
-Commercials
DX attacks, but is quickly shoved away. Show whips Triple H into the ropes and ducks his head. Kick by Trips. HBK goes for a DDT. Show elevates him, but a quick kick to the ribs by HHH allows Michaels to complete the move. Much chopping of crotches ensues. HBK covers, but Show easily kicks out. DX pounds on him and goes for a double suplex.
Show knees his way free and suplexes HBK. He dominates for a bit, but ends up missing an elbow off the second rope. They tease a ref bump, but he makes it out unscathed, as Show charges into an empty corner. Heyman's security pulls the top rope down and HBK bumps to the floor. They work him over and attack Triple H as well.
HBK is brought back in with a biel. Show press slams him and locks a bearhug. Michaels rakes his eyes to escape. Goozle by Show, but Triple H is back in. Show reverses a whip and ducks his head. Facebuster to the knee by Triple H. Show charges out of the corner, but is planted with a spinebuster.
Security is on the apron, but DX clears them off. Somersault pescado onto the pile by HBK! Triple H hooks Show for a Pedigree, but Hardcore Holly runs out and attacks him, forcing a DQ. Holly clotheslines HHH over the top. Michaels is back in. He connects with a flying forearm and gives Holly an inverted atomic drop. He turns, though, and Show levels him.
Security is in. Triple H makes the save with the sledgehammer. The people who matter bail and the poor security team is laid out with Sweet Chin Music and a sledgehammer shot to the head. DX stands tall as the show ends...
Not much to this. You'd have been silly to expect anything from it, though. It gave DX their ECW cameo, so I guess it served it's purpose.
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