ECW on Sci-Fi (6.20.06)
Hey! We're coming up on the one year anniversary of our goofy little blog. Who knew we had this much writing left in us? Matt, of course, is our MVP, as he's the consistent one. What being the MVP of a blog full of goofballs gets you, I'm not sure (many large breasted wimmens, perhaps?), but congrats! May year two be just as, err...glorious?
-So, I've gotten my copy of One Night Stand 2006 now, but have yet to watch it. Maybe I'll recap it. Maybe not. First, though, I will recap this ECW on Sci-Fi thing. Last week's show was a debacle. Let's see how week two fares. Also, stupid Dallas. Lost five bucks on you stupid losers. Mark Cuban owes me.
-Some gothy chick does a tarot reading, correlating to Raw clips. That springboard legdrop from Sabu was a thing of beauty. I'm so glad that it's "in" to like Sabu again. The guy gets no credit for essentially revolutionizing the concept of "hardcore" wrestling in America. Even if they're ten years too late, it's great to see WWE sign Sabu. And better yet, use him so well.
-Later tonight, Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle face off with Edge and Randy Orton. Sounds like fun!
-Opening montage.
Sabu v. Tony Mamaluke (w/Trinity) -
Sabu opens with his normal leg dive into takedown. He quickly drops an elbow and gets two. He follows with a dropkick to the knee. He drops a leg across the back of Mamaluke's head and gets another nearfall. He bounces off the ropes, but Mamaluke drives a knee into his gut. He kicks Sabu right in the friggin' face, then covers him for two. He hammerlocks Sabu's arm and takes him over with a backdrop suplex. Another nearfall.
Mamaluke wraps Sabu's arm in the ropes and drives him into the corner. That's different. He whips him into the corner, but charges into a boot. Sabu comes back with a springboard leg lariat. He picks up a two count, then locks Mamaluke in a camel clutch. Mamaluke reaches the ropes. He rolls onto the apron. Sabu dropkicks him in the knee, sending him crashing to the floor.
Sabu bails as well, grabbing a chair. Triple jump plancha connects! He sets up a table at ringside. Mamaluke rolls him back in. He places the chair on top of Sabu and heads up top. He dives, but Sabu wings the chair into his face. Rad. Mamaluke rolls out. Sabu places him onto the table.
He grazes Mamaluke with a springboard splash, driving him through the table. Roll in. He basically misses a springboard somersault legdrop, but Mamaluke sells it anyway. Sabu quickly locks him in the camel clutch and Mamaluke taps out.
This was a fun Sabu squash. A few mistimed spots, but that's Sabu. He's looked way better in WWE than he has any right to, both because of him being monumentally banged up and because of the shitty WWE ropes that don't favor highflyers. All hail Sabu.
-Kelly is still a semi-retarded exhibitionist. Next.
-Commercials
-RVD promo. This isn't so good. We do get two weed references, for those who keep track of such things. Where's Fonzie when you need him?
-Big Show comes out. As does Tommy Dreamer. He grabs a mic and tells Show that he might have been dominant in last week's extreme battle royal, but if he want's to make a name in ECW, he'll have to go through Dreamer. He slaps Show, who proceeds to destroy him. He tosses him into the steps. Into the barricade as well. He lifts Dreamer and drives him back first into the post. Roll in. Cobra Clutch backbreaker seals the deal. Show leaves. Dreamer smiles. If this was really ECW, that would have been an impromptu match.
-Clips of Randy Orton tapping out to Angle at ONS 2.
-Commercials
-Same vampire dude from last week is again standing outside. Really...someone welcome him in. How will he ever get to wrestle if he's physically incapable of entering the building?
-Macho Libre comes out. Yeah, that's not a misprint. It's a dude dressed like Nacho Libre with Randy Save sunglasses on. I think you can see where this is going. He does the Savage shtick. I guess someone might have found this funny. I did not. "Say everything twice, yeah...say everything twice." Okay, that was funny. I believe that this is former ECW/ROH wrestler Tony Devito, by the way. Makes sense as they're in Albany and he's a NY based guy. At any rate, he's looking for a fight. So is Sandman, apparently, as he comes out.
Macho Libre v. Sandman -
Sandman gets an inset promo (!) during his intro. Holy shit! Is this WWF Superstars circa 1988? Anyway, cane, cane, cane, cane, cane, cane, White Russian legsweep, pin.
All I have to say about this match is: Where the hell was the zombie?
-Backstage, Paul Heyman is prepping new ECW (and former TNA) referee Mike Posey on the subtle rules of the company. One of the other refs (Molineaux, I think) runs in and says that Cena is there. Heyman tells him to collect the troops.
-Commercials
Avenger...err...ECW roster ASSEMBLE! Cena walks in. They glare. He glares. They glare. He walks up. Sounds like he has a proposition for Mr. Heyman. Or, scumbag, as he refers to him. He tells Heyman to bring anyone, nay...*everyone* he's got to Vengeance. He wants an Extreme Lumberjack match. OMG HARDCORE! Deal or no Deal? Sabu: "Deal." Cena smiles and walks away.
I do believe that's the first time that Sabu has "officially" spoken on camera. And no one even mentions it. For shame, Joey, for shame.
-Time for "Kelly's Expose." She does a dance routine that's sub Nitro Girls in quality. Some dude (OVW's Mike Knox) runs out and covers her up. By the way, ECW doesn't have "Divas." That's a WWE thing. ECW has "Vixens." So sayeth Tazz.
-Commercials
-Test vignette. He's coming to ECW. Yes! TEST WANTS A PIECE OF THAT ACTION!
-Edge and Lita come out. To paraphrase, Edge doesn't appreciate ECW much at all.
Edge & Randy Orton (w/Lita) v. Kurt Angle & Rob Van Dam -
Angle and Edge open the match. Angle shoots in and takes Edge down with a double leg. He goes for the anklelock, but Edge is in the ropes. Angle double legs him again, hoisting him up and dropping him with a fireman's carry. Tag to RVD. Edge comes back with a poke to the eyes and tags Orton. He rams Van Dam into the corner. They trade strikes. RVD reverses a whip, connecting with a spin kick on the rebound.
He crotches Orton on the top rope, then hits a sidekick off the top rope, knocking him to the floor. He follows, ramming Orton into the apron. Moonsault press off the apron! He rolls Orton back in. Orton cuts him off with a diving European uppercut and tags Edge. He whips Van Dam into the corner, but charges into a back elbow. Van Dam comes back with a springboard sidekick. He goes to bounce off the ropes, but Lita yanks the top rope down and he tumbles to the floor.
-Commercials
Edge and RVD trade strikes. Edge takes him down with a drop toehold and tags Orton. During the break, Lita choked RVD in the ropes. Announcers are apoplectic. It's ECW, fellas. If that's the worst thing that happens tonight, consider yourselves lucky. Orton hits Van Dam with a kneedrop and covers. Angle makes the save. Edge tags in and tosses RVD to the floor. He lands awkwardly. From the first camera angle, it looked fatal. Luckily, the replay showed that to not be the case.
Edge comes off the apron with a double axehandle. He whips Van Dam into the steps, then rolls him in and picks up a two count. Tag to Orton. He hits an absolutely gorgeous standing dropkick for a nearfall of his own. Edge tags back in. He tries to ram RVD into the corner, but it's blocked. RVD kicks him in the face. He follows with a spinning heel kick and both guys tag.
Angle ducks a clothesline. German (x3) to Orton. Edge tries to jump him from behind and takes a German as well. Orton grabs a rear waistlock, but Angle rolls through into the anklelock. Orton grabs Edge at ringside. He yanks Orton, causing Angle to fall forward and clothesline himself in the ropes. Edge heads up top. He goes for a double axehandle, but Angle blocks it and tosses him with an over head belly to belly.
Angle lifts him for the Olympic Slam, but Orton clips his knee. He rams the knee into the mat and scissor stomps the injured leg. Tag to Edge, who tosses Angle to the floor. He rams Angle into the steps, then rolls him back in, picking up a nearfall. Angle shoots in with a double leg and goes for the choke. Lita rolls in and rakes his eyes. Orton tags in.
He pounds on Angle for a bit. Angle goes for a single leg takedown, but Orton manages to tag Edge. He whips Angle into the corner, but charges into a boot. Angle gives him another German suplex and tags RVD. He levels Edge with a pair of clotheslines and follows with a nice superkick. He knocks Orton off of the apron.
Stepover spin kick to Edge. He follows Orton out, connecting with a pescado. He grabs a chair at ringside, then climbs onto the apron. Orton grabs his leg, but Van Dam blasts him with the chair. Great selling by Orton here. Edge knocks RVD off the apron and into the announce table. In the ring, Angle takes Edge down and grabs the anklelock.
Lita is in with one of RVD's belts. Angle ducks it and plants her with an Olympic Slam. He turns and takes an RKO. Orton turns and takes a Ryder kick. RVD goes for Rolling Thunder, but Edge dropkicks him out of midair. Swanky spot. Edge signals for the spear, but ends up taking a belt shot from Van Dam. He heads up top...Five Star Frogsplash! RVD covers and gets the win! RVD and Angle celebrate as we fade out...
Good match. That said, nothing about it was "ECW." It was a normal WWE-style tag match. There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself, but they're doing nothing wrestling wise to set the ECW brand apart. I'm not sure what the hell they're aiming to do at this point. This show was much better than the debut, but really...how could that *not* be true? I'm still waiting for anything that "feels" like ECW. Looks like I'll be waiting one more week, at least.
-So, I've gotten my copy of One Night Stand 2006 now, but have yet to watch it. Maybe I'll recap it. Maybe not. First, though, I will recap this ECW on Sci-Fi thing. Last week's show was a debacle. Let's see how week two fares. Also, stupid Dallas. Lost five bucks on you stupid losers. Mark Cuban owes me.
-Some gothy chick does a tarot reading, correlating to Raw clips. That springboard legdrop from Sabu was a thing of beauty. I'm so glad that it's "in" to like Sabu again. The guy gets no credit for essentially revolutionizing the concept of "hardcore" wrestling in America. Even if they're ten years too late, it's great to see WWE sign Sabu. And better yet, use him so well.
-Later tonight, Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle face off with Edge and Randy Orton. Sounds like fun!
-Opening montage.
Sabu v. Tony Mamaluke (w/Trinity) -
Sabu opens with his normal leg dive into takedown. He quickly drops an elbow and gets two. He follows with a dropkick to the knee. He drops a leg across the back of Mamaluke's head and gets another nearfall. He bounces off the ropes, but Mamaluke drives a knee into his gut. He kicks Sabu right in the friggin' face, then covers him for two. He hammerlocks Sabu's arm and takes him over with a backdrop suplex. Another nearfall.
Mamaluke wraps Sabu's arm in the ropes and drives him into the corner. That's different. He whips him into the corner, but charges into a boot. Sabu comes back with a springboard leg lariat. He picks up a two count, then locks Mamaluke in a camel clutch. Mamaluke reaches the ropes. He rolls onto the apron. Sabu dropkicks him in the knee, sending him crashing to the floor.
Sabu bails as well, grabbing a chair. Triple jump plancha connects! He sets up a table at ringside. Mamaluke rolls him back in. He places the chair on top of Sabu and heads up top. He dives, but Sabu wings the chair into his face. Rad. Mamaluke rolls out. Sabu places him onto the table.
He grazes Mamaluke with a springboard splash, driving him through the table. Roll in. He basically misses a springboard somersault legdrop, but Mamaluke sells it anyway. Sabu quickly locks him in the camel clutch and Mamaluke taps out.
This was a fun Sabu squash. A few mistimed spots, but that's Sabu. He's looked way better in WWE than he has any right to, both because of him being monumentally banged up and because of the shitty WWE ropes that don't favor highflyers. All hail Sabu.
-Kelly is still a semi-retarded exhibitionist. Next.
-Commercials
-RVD promo. This isn't so good. We do get two weed references, for those who keep track of such things. Where's Fonzie when you need him?
-Big Show comes out. As does Tommy Dreamer. He grabs a mic and tells Show that he might have been dominant in last week's extreme battle royal, but if he want's to make a name in ECW, he'll have to go through Dreamer. He slaps Show, who proceeds to destroy him. He tosses him into the steps. Into the barricade as well. He lifts Dreamer and drives him back first into the post. Roll in. Cobra Clutch backbreaker seals the deal. Show leaves. Dreamer smiles. If this was really ECW, that would have been an impromptu match.
-Clips of Randy Orton tapping out to Angle at ONS 2.
-Commercials
-Same vampire dude from last week is again standing outside. Really...someone welcome him in. How will he ever get to wrestle if he's physically incapable of entering the building?
-Macho Libre comes out. Yeah, that's not a misprint. It's a dude dressed like Nacho Libre with Randy Save sunglasses on. I think you can see where this is going. He does the Savage shtick. I guess someone might have found this funny. I did not. "Say everything twice, yeah...say everything twice." Okay, that was funny. I believe that this is former ECW/ROH wrestler Tony Devito, by the way. Makes sense as they're in Albany and he's a NY based guy. At any rate, he's looking for a fight. So is Sandman, apparently, as he comes out.
Macho Libre v. Sandman -
Sandman gets an inset promo (!) during his intro. Holy shit! Is this WWF Superstars circa 1988? Anyway, cane, cane, cane, cane, cane, cane, White Russian legsweep, pin.
All I have to say about this match is: Where the hell was the zombie?
-Backstage, Paul Heyman is prepping new ECW (and former TNA) referee Mike Posey on the subtle rules of the company. One of the other refs (Molineaux, I think) runs in and says that Cena is there. Heyman tells him to collect the troops.
-Commercials
Avenger...err...ECW roster ASSEMBLE! Cena walks in. They glare. He glares. They glare. He walks up. Sounds like he has a proposition for Mr. Heyman. Or, scumbag, as he refers to him. He tells Heyman to bring anyone, nay...*everyone* he's got to Vengeance. He wants an Extreme Lumberjack match. OMG HARDCORE! Deal or no Deal? Sabu: "Deal." Cena smiles and walks away.
I do believe that's the first time that Sabu has "officially" spoken on camera. And no one even mentions it. For shame, Joey, for shame.
-Time for "Kelly's Expose." She does a dance routine that's sub Nitro Girls in quality. Some dude (OVW's Mike Knox) runs out and covers her up. By the way, ECW doesn't have "Divas." That's a WWE thing. ECW has "Vixens." So sayeth Tazz.
-Commercials
-Test vignette. He's coming to ECW. Yes! TEST WANTS A PIECE OF THAT ACTION!
-Edge and Lita come out. To paraphrase, Edge doesn't appreciate ECW much at all.
Edge & Randy Orton (w/Lita) v. Kurt Angle & Rob Van Dam -
Angle and Edge open the match. Angle shoots in and takes Edge down with a double leg. He goes for the anklelock, but Edge is in the ropes. Angle double legs him again, hoisting him up and dropping him with a fireman's carry. Tag to RVD. Edge comes back with a poke to the eyes and tags Orton. He rams Van Dam into the corner. They trade strikes. RVD reverses a whip, connecting with a spin kick on the rebound.
He crotches Orton on the top rope, then hits a sidekick off the top rope, knocking him to the floor. He follows, ramming Orton into the apron. Moonsault press off the apron! He rolls Orton back in. Orton cuts him off with a diving European uppercut and tags Edge. He whips Van Dam into the corner, but charges into a back elbow. Van Dam comes back with a springboard sidekick. He goes to bounce off the ropes, but Lita yanks the top rope down and he tumbles to the floor.
-Commercials
Edge and RVD trade strikes. Edge takes him down with a drop toehold and tags Orton. During the break, Lita choked RVD in the ropes. Announcers are apoplectic. It's ECW, fellas. If that's the worst thing that happens tonight, consider yourselves lucky. Orton hits Van Dam with a kneedrop and covers. Angle makes the save. Edge tags in and tosses RVD to the floor. He lands awkwardly. From the first camera angle, it looked fatal. Luckily, the replay showed that to not be the case.
Edge comes off the apron with a double axehandle. He whips Van Dam into the steps, then rolls him in and picks up a two count. Tag to Orton. He hits an absolutely gorgeous standing dropkick for a nearfall of his own. Edge tags back in. He tries to ram RVD into the corner, but it's blocked. RVD kicks him in the face. He follows with a spinning heel kick and both guys tag.
Angle ducks a clothesline. German (x3) to Orton. Edge tries to jump him from behind and takes a German as well. Orton grabs a rear waistlock, but Angle rolls through into the anklelock. Orton grabs Edge at ringside. He yanks Orton, causing Angle to fall forward and clothesline himself in the ropes. Edge heads up top. He goes for a double axehandle, but Angle blocks it and tosses him with an over head belly to belly.
Angle lifts him for the Olympic Slam, but Orton clips his knee. He rams the knee into the mat and scissor stomps the injured leg. Tag to Edge, who tosses Angle to the floor. He rams Angle into the steps, then rolls him back in, picking up a nearfall. Angle shoots in with a double leg and goes for the choke. Lita rolls in and rakes his eyes. Orton tags in.
He pounds on Angle for a bit. Angle goes for a single leg takedown, but Orton manages to tag Edge. He whips Angle into the corner, but charges into a boot. Angle gives him another German suplex and tags RVD. He levels Edge with a pair of clotheslines and follows with a nice superkick. He knocks Orton off of the apron.
Stepover spin kick to Edge. He follows Orton out, connecting with a pescado. He grabs a chair at ringside, then climbs onto the apron. Orton grabs his leg, but Van Dam blasts him with the chair. Great selling by Orton here. Edge knocks RVD off the apron and into the announce table. In the ring, Angle takes Edge down and grabs the anklelock.
Lita is in with one of RVD's belts. Angle ducks it and plants her with an Olympic Slam. He turns and takes an RKO. Orton turns and takes a Ryder kick. RVD goes for Rolling Thunder, but Edge dropkicks him out of midair. Swanky spot. Edge signals for the spear, but ends up taking a belt shot from Van Dam. He heads up top...Five Star Frogsplash! RVD covers and gets the win! RVD and Angle celebrate as we fade out...
Good match. That said, nothing about it was "ECW." It was a normal WWE-style tag match. There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself, but they're doing nothing wrestling wise to set the ECW brand apart. I'm not sure what the hell they're aiming to do at this point. This show was much better than the debut, but really...how could that *not* be true? I'm still waiting for anything that "feels" like ECW. Looks like I'll be waiting one more week, at least.
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