TNA #60 - 9.3.03
Hey! After a week of general disinterest, me working extra hours and shitty weather knocking my power out when I'm ready to write, I finally finished a recap! Huzzah! Thought I'd do some TNA. Current product annoys me, but it wasn't always that way. Figured I'd pull out the Super X Tournament, as I really enjoyed it on the first viewing, but never bothered to rewatch it. If nothing else, this era of TNA has one thing going for it...the ring is the proper friggin' shape. Imagine that!
-We open with a video package hyping the "Wednesday Bloody Wednesday" WarGames match that'll happen later tonight.
Lazz v. Mad Mikey -
Lazz, essentially, thinks he's Britney Spears. Back when she was single, relevant and kinda hot. Mad Mikey is better known as Crash Holly. But no he's really, REALLY angry. At what? Who knows? It's TNA. If they don't care, why should I?
Lockup, go behind by Lazz. He feels Mikey up a bit, making him MAD. Mikey comes back with a rear waistlock takedown. He tries to stand, but Lazz holds on and tries to pull Mikey on top of him. Mikey escapes. Lazz drops to his back and does some pelvic thrusts in Mikey's general direction. Mikey is ENRAGED! He charges, but misses an elbowdrop. Lazz goes for a clothesline, but Mikey ducks it and grabs a side headlock.
Lazz shoots him off and gets tackled. Mikey bounces off the ropes, but Lazz meets him with a Thesz Press. He, err...humps Mikey, who escapes into the corner. Lazz moves in. The ref tries to pull him away, but Lazz is absolutely intent on violating Mikey. He comes back with a hiptoss attempt, but Lazz blocks it and kisses him! MIKEY IS VERY ANGRY! He levels Lazz with a series of clotheslines and spikes him with a double arm DDT to pick up the win.
That was something. Actually, no. That was pretty much nothing. Mikey's gimmick sucked and Lazz...is Lazz.
-They kindly show us the brackets for the Super X tourney. Apparently, one bracket is for international wrestlers and the other is for Americans. Here's the breakdown of round 1: Juventud Guerrera v. NOSAWA, Jonny Storm v. Teddy Hart, Jerry Lynn v. Chris Sabin and Michael Shane v. Frankie Kazarian.
-Terry Taylor interviews Dusty Rhodes. He yammers on in Dusty fashion for a bit as Taylor tries not to laugh, then tells us that his favorite memories from WarGames involve him kicking Arn Anderson's ass. Well, that's not nice.
Juventud Guerrera (Mexico) v. NOSAWA (Japan) -
Quick crisscross sequence by Juvy to open the match. He ends up planting NOSAWA with a wheelbarrow bulldog. Spinning heel kick sends him to the floor. Juvy does a Tiger Mask/619 feint, then hits a springboard crossbody of sorts. Would have been a crossbody anyway, but NOSAWA doesn't really bother to catch him. Juvy rolls him in, but turns his back to interact with the crowd. NOSAWA jumps him and tries to suplex him in.
Juvy slips away and grabs a rear waistlock. NOSAWA reverses, looking for a German suplex. Juvy lands on his feet, connects with a spin kick and picks up a nearfall. He whips NOSAWA into the corner, but misses a splash. Heel kick from NOSAWA does not. Juvy reverses a whip. NOSAWA slides between his legs. Juvy goes for a quebradora, but NOSAWA escapes and dropkicks him in the knee.
He connects with a Tajiri-like buzzsaw kick and gets two. Juvy fires back with chops and goes for a whip. NOSAWA reverses him into the corner, but runs into a boot. Pumphandle facebuster by Juvy is followed the JUICY ELBOW! Cover gets two. He goes for a sunset flip, but NOSAWA rolls through and nails him with a dropkick for two. He lifts Juvy for a backdrop suplex. Juvy rolls through and spikes him with the Juvy Driver. 450° Splash gets the win!
Fun match. Of course, I defy you to show me a Juvy match that you can't describe as fun. It's a shame he's so flaky, because he had "all time great" potential as far as juniors go. Even as fucked up as he is, he's still an awesome worker. It's also a shame that he and Rock were never in WWE at the same time. Promo gold.
-Taylor interviews James Mitchell. He informs us that since he's taught Raven the meaning of pain, he's going to go one step further and steal his self image. How, you ask? By taking his hair. Glenn Gilberti (who, oddly enough, I realized that I miss when I watched this) walks in. He tells Mitchell to focus on tonight. Yeah, I miss Disco Inferno. Who are you to judge?
Teddy Hart (Canada) v. Jonny Storm (U.K.)
Storm charged into the ring and Teddy starts stomping on him immediately. He sends Storm into the ropes and goes for a clothesline. Storm ducks it and comes back with a wheelbarrow DDT. He follows with a dropkick and Teddy bails. Storm hits a double springboard somersault plancha! Well now! He rolls Teddy back in and heads up top. He goes for...something, but ends up diving directly into a Diamond Cutter.
Teddy tries to rip his arm off with a wicked Fujiwara armbar takedown. Storm reaches the ropes, then rolls out. Teddy kicks him, then scores with an Asai moonsault (using the top rope instead of the middle). Back in the ring, Storm ducks a clothesline and delivers the Wonderwall slam (a half Nelson driver of sorts). He heads up top, but a moonsault misses.
Teddy's turn to climb. He obliterates Storm with a diving DDT that seriously looks like it might have ended his life. The rest of this match is academic. Teddy heads back to the top and hits the Hart Attack (his name for the Shooting Star Press) for the win.
Ah...Teddy Hart. Rarely has someone squandered so much potential. The guy could have been awesome. Maybe he still is. Haven't seen him in ages because JAPW is pretty much the only company that will bother to book him these days. I described Juvy as being flaky earlier, but Teddy makes him look normal. Maybe he's still using his down time to train his army of cats. Oy.
-Taylor interviews Sonny Siaki. He proclaims himself the guy in charge, but Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger aren't buying it. Shane Douglas comes in and yells at them, telling them to be serious and focus on WarGames.
Chris Sabin (USA) v. Jerry Lynn (USA) -
Sabin jumps Lynn before the bell. He pounds on him a bit and levels him with a back elbow. Lynn comes back with a clothesline and punches away at Sabin from the mount. He stomps on Sabin and rams him into the corner. Sabin breaks the momentum with an eyerake. He whips Lynn into the corner, following him in with a knee to the gut. Whip to the opposite corner. Sabin charges, but Lynn moves.
Sabin lands on the second rope, but Lynn quickly takes him to the mat with a sunset flip powerbomb for two. Sabin reverses a whip, but Lynn stops himself by grabbing the ropes. Sabin charges, but Lynn tosses him out. He tries to pull him back in, but Sabin snaps his throat across the top rope. He drives his shoulder into Lynn's gut, then slingshots in with a sunset flip.
Lynn tries to block by grabbing the ropes, but the ref kicks his hand away. Cover gets two. Why did that spot die, anyway? Sabin lifts Lynn for a Cop Killer (!), but he slips away. He kicks Sabin in the gut and plants him with the TKO. Cover, but Sabin reaches the ropes. Lynn argues with the ref and grabs him. Don Callis comes out and says that if Lynn harms the ref, he'll lose his job. Low blow by Sabin. He rolls Lynn up for the win.
Ugh. That finish is what we call the shits. Precisely the type of garbage you shouldn't be doing in a tournament setting. Match was decent for what it was, though. The problem with everything on this show is that they decided to run it in one night *plus* have their big WarGames match. Guess who gets shafted...the X-Division matches or the match with Jarrett? I don't think any of the first round matches even run five minutes.
-Taylor interviews Raven (w/CM Punk & Julio Dinero). For one of the few times in his career, Raven has nothing interesting to say.
Frankie Kazarian (USA) v. Michael Shane (USA) -
This is the final first round match. Shane opens with a side headlock. Kazarian shoots him into the ropes, but gets tackled. He comes back with a pair of armdrags, followed by a Japanese armdrag. Shane retreats into the corner. Kazarian follows, nailing him with a dropkick. Shane collapses, with Kazarian catching him with a second dropkick. Cover gets two. He grabs a side headlock of his own, but Shane dumps him with a backdrop suplex.
He punches away at Kazarian and chokes him in the corner. A pair of backbreakers are good for a nearfall. Kazarian manages a few quick rollups, but Shane easily escapes. Kazarian backdrops him, though, then follows with a pair of clotheslines. He punches away at Shane in the corner, then whips him into the opposite corner. He charges, but runs into a boot for his troubles.
Shane bounces off the ropes, but gets caught in a snap powerslam (a la Goldust's). Cover gets two. Kazarian lifts him for a suplex, but Shane escapes and nails him with an enzuigiri for two. Shane signals for the superkick. Kazarian catches the foot and hooks him for the Wave of the Future (swinging Flatliner). Shane blocks it and goes for a Fisherman's suplex. Kazarian counters. Shane goes for a powerbomb, but Kazarian turns it into a 'rana. He jacknifes Shane on the cover and picks up the duke!
I generally hate Michael Shane, except when he works with or against Kazarian interestingly enough. So this was all sorts of okay. Kazarian is one of those guys who has about a zillion signature spots and has a tendency to want to hit them all in every match, but when he reigns himself in, he can be awesome.
-Taylor interviews AJ Styles & Vince Russo. Christ...Russo *towers* over AJ. He talks about the deck being stacked against the champ, but that as long as he's breathing, nothing will ever happen to AJ.
Teddy Hart (Canada) v. Juventud Guerrera (Mexico) -
Teddy has changed into his oven mitt pants. Don't ask. We get a handshake and it's go time! Side headlock by Juvy. Hart shoots him into the ropes and gets tackled. They crisscross and Teddy goes for a tilt-a-whirl slam. Juvy counters into a DDT. He heads to the second rope, but dives into a Fujiwara armbar takedown. Teddy pulls him to his feet, then hits a Russian Legsweep.
He holds on, rolling them back to their feet once again. Juvy blocks a second Russian Legsweep and goes for a quebradora. Teddy lands on his feet and takes him back down, going back to the Fujiwara armbar. They briefly trade strikes and Teddy cuts Juvy off with a rake to the eyes. He whips Juvy into the corner, but charges into a boot. Headscissors takedown by Juvy causes Teddy to bail.
Juvy goes for the Tiger feint, but Hart grabs his legs and yanks him to the floor. He climbs onto the apron and takes Juvy over with a Rewind 'rana of sorts. He follows with a springboard moonsault off the rail. He sets up for the Asai moonsault, but Juvy grabs his leg and pulls him off of the apron. Teddy hits his head on the apron. Juvy rolls in. He fakes a dive, then climbs onto the apron, connecting with a springboard crossbody.
Both guys are on the apron. Teddy goes for a springboard, but gets crotched. Juvy then springboards off the top, turns in midair and takes Hart over with a 'rana. Nifty. Cover gets two. He plants Teddy with his pumphandle facebuster and picks up another nearfall. Teddy counters with a quick rollup of his own and gets two. He slips away from an attempted powerbomb and hits a Beach Break (essentially, an Alabama Slam where the guy drops to his knees, spiking his opponent headfirst into the mat).
He pulls Juvy into the corner and heads up top. Skytwister Press! And a gorgeous one at that. Cover gets two. Juvy bails out. Asai moonsault by Hart! He stands around for like 30 seconds, then suddenly starts selling his knee as if it spontaneously exploded. Funny stuff. Juvy rolls in as Hart rolls onto the apron. He drives a shoulder to Juvy's gut. He tries to slingshot in, but Juvy catches him and dumps him with a waterwheel slam.
Juvy sends him into the ropes. Hart goes for a sunset flip, but Juvy rolls through and dropkicks him. Cover gets two. Juicy Elbow time! It misses, but he kips up immediately. Juice Bottom gets two. He lifts Teddy into a Torture Rack, then spins it into a powerbomb, picking up another nearfall. He lifts Hart for the Juvy Driver, but he slips away and nails him in the back of the head.
Juvy is staggered. Hart heads up top, spiking Juvy with a diving Tornado DDT. Cover gets two. He pulls Juvy into the corner and connects with the SSP. He clutches at his knee, unable to make a cover. Juvy Driver! He heads up top. Teddy kips up (!) and crotches him, ignoring the knee he was selling like crazy 15 seconds ago. He's looking for a 'rana, but Juvy blocks it and spikes him with a Super Juvy Driver! This one is over.
This was a really fun match with some really goofy selling by Hart. It's not shown during the PPV, but apparently, after the match Hart does his postmatch routine of doing backflips off the top rope. To "honor" Owen, so he says. Guess that knee was fine after all.
-Mike Tenay and Don West do their "Interrogators" interview segment with the Red Shirt Security team (Kevin Northcutt & Ryan Wilson). They talk, I guess. Their lips move as I hit fast forward, at any rate.
Chris Sabin (USA) v. Frankie Kazarian (USA) -
Match turns into a brawl from the get go. Kazarian levels Sabin with a shortarm clothesline and follows with a series of dropkicks. He whips Sabin into the corner. Sabin collapses. Kazarian charges for his corner dropkick, but Sabin gets his boots up. He takes Kazarian down and punches away at him. He whips Kazarian from corner to corner, following him in with a running kneelift each time.
Sabin lifts him for a suplex, then drops him over the top rope. Kazarian hits his head on the apron. Sabin goes for a tope, but Kazarian blocks it, somehow causing Sabin to crotch himself. He slingshots over the top, spiking Sabin with a DDT on the edge of the apron. This looks absolutely BRUTAL. He rolls Sabin back in and picks up a nearfall.
Kazarian whips him into the corner. Sabin floats onto the apron. Kazarian ducks a clothesline and kicks him in the gut. Sunset flip powerbomb to the floor! Kazarian rolls him and gets another two count. He goes for a whip, but Sabin reverses. Kazarian is looking for a springboard back elbow, but Sabin catches him, turning it into a German suplex. Awesome. Kazarian is up first, but Sabin manages to 'rana him into the corner.
He plants Kazarian with a Tiger suplex, picking up a nearfall. He grabs a straightjacket choke, then drops to his knees, driving his shoulder into the back of Kazarian's neck. Kazarian eventually reaches the ropes. He reverses a whip, sending Sabin into the corner. He tries to float over, but Kazarian gets him into position for the Ocean Cyclone suplex. Sabin slips away.
Kazarian nails him with a back elbow. He goes for a Tornado DDT, but Sabin deposits him onto the apron. Kazarian holds onto him, though, choking him in the ropes. Ref breaks it up. Kazarian springboards in, but Sabin meets him with a kick to the gut. He lifts him for a Fisherman's suplex, but Kazarian slips away and spikes him with the Wave of the Future. He covers, but Sabin escapes at two.
Sabin reverses a whip, sending Kazarian into the corner. Kazarian leaps to the second rope. He grabs Sabin, who nails him with the Pelé kick. He follows with a Muscle Buster (he calls it the Future Shock, I believe). Cover gets two. Sabin heads up top. Kazarian cuts him off...Flux Capacitor! He's unable to make the cover. Both guys are up. Sabin charges, but runs into a boot. Kazarian goes for a victory roll, but Sabin rolls through and picks up the win!
Great, great match. It probably holds up better than anything else in the tournament, actually. The previous match and the following match get the hype, but this was much better overall. Not as flashy, but flash isn't necessary for a good match.
-Terry Taylor interviews AMW. Blah, blah, blah. Kid Kash and Abyss walk in. Kash slaps Taylor and the Red Shirts quickly move in to hold Taylor back. Don't remember this angle. Probably don't want to.
Chris Sabin (USA) v. Juventud Guerrera (Mexico) - Super X Finals -
Sabin stalls to open the match. He offers a hand, then slaps Juvy, who quickly returns fire. They both bounce off the ropes and collide with double shoulder blocks, but neither will budge. They bounce off the ropes again, this time dropping to the mat. They pop back up and both go for dropkicks. If you think this leads to a standoff, gimme a hell yeah. Sabin again offers his hand. This time, though, Juvy flips him off. Juicy!
He goes for a whip, but Sabin reverses, ducking his head. Juvy kicks him. He ducks a clothesline and follows up with a spin kick. Headscissors takedown on Sabin. Juvy armdrags him, then grabs an armbar. Sabin reverses a whip. He hoists Juvy up and powerbombs him super awkwardly. Juvy lands right on his shoulder and neck. Ouch. Sabin hits an enzuigiri and picks up a nearfall.
He pounds on Juvy in the corner. Whip to the opposite corner, but he charges into a boot. Spinning heel kick by Juvy. Sabin rolls to the floor. Juvy follows with a pescado. He rolls Sabin in, then hits a slingshot elbowdrop for two. He locks Sabin in an abdominal stretch with a hammerlock adding to the pressure. He releases and goes for a whip.
Sabin reverses. Juvy climbs onto his shoulders and spins into a 'rana attempt. Sabin blocks it and plants him with a wheelbarrow suplex. Cover gets two. Straightjacket choke by Sabin. He drops a knee, then heads up top. Juvy cuts him off and looks for a powerbomb. Sabin goes over the top, countering into a sunset flip. Juvy rolls through, of course, nailing him with a dropkick. He covers, but Sabin escapes at two.
Sabin stops the momentum with a rake of the eyes. He snapmares Juvy and locks him in a surfboard submission. Juvy reverses him into the corner. Sabin tries to float over, but Juvy catches him, turning it into an Ocean Cyclone suplex for two. Sabin reverses a whip. Juvy slides between his legs and grabs a rear waistlock. Sabin reverses, looking for a German suplex. Juvy lands on his feet. Sabin kicks him in the gut.
He lifts Juvy for a powerbomb. Juvy slips away. He goes for a powerbomb of his own, but Sabin also counters free. They run through a Malenko/Guerrero rollup sequence, then both collapse due to exhaustion. Back on their feet, they trade punches. Sabin knees Juvy in the gut and goes for a whip. Juvy reverses him into the corner. Sabin goes for the floatover and again gets caught.
He goes for an inverted suplex, but Juvy lands on his feet. Sabin goes for an Air Raid Crash, but Juvy escapes. He lifts Sabin for a backdrop suplex, but Sabin rolls through. Juvy rolls him up for a quick nearfall. Sabin rolls to his feet, but Juvy takes him right back down with a wheelbarrow bulldog. Juvy is up first. He connects with a springboard dropkick and signals for the Juvy Driver.
He lifts Sabin, who manages to slip away. He gets Juvy in an over the shoulder backbreaker, then drops it into a DDT for two. Fisherman's suplex attempt by Sabin, but Juvy escapes. He goes for a double underhook suplex, but Sabin blocks it. Juvy chops him a few times, then dumps him with a double underhook piledriver. Cover gets two. He goes for a the Juvy Driver once again, but this time Sabin counters into a DDT, getting two.
He heads up top, but ends up diving into a dropkick. Juvy picks up a nearfall. His turn to go up top. Sabin cuts him off and takes him over with a superplex. They land with an arm draped over one another, but both manage to lift a shoulder at two. Sabin goes for a clothesline, but Juvy ducks it and kicks him in the gut. Juvy Driver finally connects! As does the 450° splash. He covers, but Sabin reaches the ropes at the last second! Juvy isn't happy. He lifts Sabin for his pumphandle facebuster, but Sabin slips away and quickly spikes him with a Fisherman's suplex. He covers Juvy and gets the win! Sabin is your Super X champion!
This was even better than I remembered it. The biggest gripe I'd have with the match is that it gets a bit counter-heavy at times, but that certainly doesn't detract from the match. Sabin's selling is iffy, but he had all of two years of experience at this point. Selling is definitely something that comes with time. Juvy is just so good in this. Damn.
-They run a hype package for the return of Roddy Piper. The last lines? "He's coming...and he's pissed." What is this, a slasher movie?
-Tenay and West blather about the one cent PPV the next week as the cage gets set up.
Wednesday Bloody Wednesday -
Okay, if you're not familiar with the WarGames match (TNA's version, anyway), here are the rules. First two guys are in the ring for three minutes. The teams flipped a coin backstage to determine who gets the man advantage (here's a hint...it's almost always the heels). People enter every 90 seconds after that. Match can only end once everyone is in the ring. Since that's not extreme enough for TNA, this match also features tons of weapons hanging off of the cage.
Erik Watts (TNA's Director of Authority at the time) comes out as the special referee. He sends Borash, the timekeeper and the ring attendant to the back, bringing out 3 Live Kru to replace them. Christopher Daniels is the first entrant. Vince Russo comes out with him, wearing AJ Styles' NWA Title belt. Lovely. First guy for the opposing team is Jeff Jarrett, who comes out with Dusty Rhodes.
Daniels attacks before Jarrett can enter the cage. They brawl around ringside for a bit, until Daniels finally throws Jarrett into the ring. He goes for a whip, but Jarrett reverses it and plants him with a spinebuster. He rams Daniels into the cage a few times and grabs a trashcan lid off of the cage. He tries to hit Daniels, who kicks it back into Jarrett's face. Don Callis comes out and joins in on commentary.
Daniels pummels Jarrett with a series of weapons (cane, nunchucks). He heads up top with the cane, but Jarrett gets his feet up. He slingshots Daniels into the cage and starts grinding his face into the mesh. AJ Styles is out. Jarrett meets him with the cane. He rams AJ into the cage and tosses a garbage can at him. AJ reverses a whip and Daniels clotheslines Jarrett. The heels pound Jarrett down.
Daniels is setting up a table as Chris Harris hits the ring. He cleans house, including a wicked spear to Styles. Heels quickly come back, though. AJ hoists Jarrett up for a powerbomb, Daniels comes off the ropes and clotheslines him through the table. Well...Jarrett barely touches it, actually and Daniels essentially leaps through the table himself and doesn't even sell it, but that's neither here nor there.
Simon Diamond is the next guy out. Cue the heel beatdown part two. Jarrett is busted open. As is Daniels, apparently. Jarrett goes apeshit with a strap, but he's cut off quickly. D'Lo Brown is out. People brawl. There's already too many people and way too much crap in the ring to do much else. Somewhere in this mess, Harris absolutely destroys Styles with a Catatonic. Shane Douglas is out next.
More heel beatdownery. Ugh. Trying to do WarGames in one ring was such a poor idea. Russo tosses his bat to Douglas. He nails Jarrett, then tries to line up shots on everyone else. He has no room, though, so he basically stands around for 30 seconds, looking stupid. James Storm is out. Jarrett gets his guitar out of the corner and kabongs Daniels. Swinger is out. People are standing around doing pretty much nothing by this point.
And...Raven limps out. Hooray! Now this match can finally end! The heels pretend that Dusty is actually in the ring instead of at ringside, lining up not for the Bionic elbow, but for Raven's cookie sheet. People brawl. All we see is a mass of bodies. I yawn. Harris is bleeding. Match has gone several minutes without me writing a word. Mostly because not a damn thing is happening.
Hey! The finisher train just pulled up! Evenflow to Douglas. Sky High to Daniels. Problem Solver to D'Lo. Spear to Simon. 8 Second Ride to Swinger. Quebrada DDT to Storm. AJ is up top. Jarrett cuts him off...Stroke off the top! D'Lo and Harris come off the top with a frogsplash/legdrop combo on AJ. Jarrett covers and this match is mercifully over.
After the match, pretty much every other non-X Division wrestler on the roster runs out to brawl. Raven and Douglas are left in the cage. James Mitchell brings out the New Church. They hold the door shut as Douglas tries to cut Raven's hair. And that's where we fade out.
Wow. What a mess of a match. A real downer to end an otherwise top notch show. Interesting to see Jarrett and Daniels facing off the bulk of the time. That would have been a fun feud at the time, but they never really went anywhere with it. But TNA never gives me what I want to see, so why should I be surprised?
-We open with a video package hyping the "Wednesday Bloody Wednesday" WarGames match that'll happen later tonight.
Lazz v. Mad Mikey -
Lazz, essentially, thinks he's Britney Spears. Back when she was single, relevant and kinda hot. Mad Mikey is better known as Crash Holly. But no he's really, REALLY angry. At what? Who knows? It's TNA. If they don't care, why should I?
Lockup, go behind by Lazz. He feels Mikey up a bit, making him MAD. Mikey comes back with a rear waistlock takedown. He tries to stand, but Lazz holds on and tries to pull Mikey on top of him. Mikey escapes. Lazz drops to his back and does some pelvic thrusts in Mikey's general direction. Mikey is ENRAGED! He charges, but misses an elbowdrop. Lazz goes for a clothesline, but Mikey ducks it and grabs a side headlock.
Lazz shoots him off and gets tackled. Mikey bounces off the ropes, but Lazz meets him with a Thesz Press. He, err...humps Mikey, who escapes into the corner. Lazz moves in. The ref tries to pull him away, but Lazz is absolutely intent on violating Mikey. He comes back with a hiptoss attempt, but Lazz blocks it and kisses him! MIKEY IS VERY ANGRY! He levels Lazz with a series of clotheslines and spikes him with a double arm DDT to pick up the win.
That was something. Actually, no. That was pretty much nothing. Mikey's gimmick sucked and Lazz...is Lazz.
-They kindly show us the brackets for the Super X tourney. Apparently, one bracket is for international wrestlers and the other is for Americans. Here's the breakdown of round 1: Juventud Guerrera v. NOSAWA, Jonny Storm v. Teddy Hart, Jerry Lynn v. Chris Sabin and Michael Shane v. Frankie Kazarian.
-Terry Taylor interviews Dusty Rhodes. He yammers on in Dusty fashion for a bit as Taylor tries not to laugh, then tells us that his favorite memories from WarGames involve him kicking Arn Anderson's ass. Well, that's not nice.
Juventud Guerrera (Mexico) v. NOSAWA (Japan) -
Quick crisscross sequence by Juvy to open the match. He ends up planting NOSAWA with a wheelbarrow bulldog. Spinning heel kick sends him to the floor. Juvy does a Tiger Mask/619 feint, then hits a springboard crossbody of sorts. Would have been a crossbody anyway, but NOSAWA doesn't really bother to catch him. Juvy rolls him in, but turns his back to interact with the crowd. NOSAWA jumps him and tries to suplex him in.
Juvy slips away and grabs a rear waistlock. NOSAWA reverses, looking for a German suplex. Juvy lands on his feet, connects with a spin kick and picks up a nearfall. He whips NOSAWA into the corner, but misses a splash. Heel kick from NOSAWA does not. Juvy reverses a whip. NOSAWA slides between his legs. Juvy goes for a quebradora, but NOSAWA escapes and dropkicks him in the knee.
He connects with a Tajiri-like buzzsaw kick and gets two. Juvy fires back with chops and goes for a whip. NOSAWA reverses him into the corner, but runs into a boot. Pumphandle facebuster by Juvy is followed the JUICY ELBOW! Cover gets two. He goes for a sunset flip, but NOSAWA rolls through and nails him with a dropkick for two. He lifts Juvy for a backdrop suplex. Juvy rolls through and spikes him with the Juvy Driver. 450° Splash gets the win!
Fun match. Of course, I defy you to show me a Juvy match that you can't describe as fun. It's a shame he's so flaky, because he had "all time great" potential as far as juniors go. Even as fucked up as he is, he's still an awesome worker. It's also a shame that he and Rock were never in WWE at the same time. Promo gold.
-Taylor interviews James Mitchell. He informs us that since he's taught Raven the meaning of pain, he's going to go one step further and steal his self image. How, you ask? By taking his hair. Glenn Gilberti (who, oddly enough, I realized that I miss when I watched this) walks in. He tells Mitchell to focus on tonight. Yeah, I miss Disco Inferno. Who are you to judge?
Teddy Hart (Canada) v. Jonny Storm (U.K.)
Storm charged into the ring and Teddy starts stomping on him immediately. He sends Storm into the ropes and goes for a clothesline. Storm ducks it and comes back with a wheelbarrow DDT. He follows with a dropkick and Teddy bails. Storm hits a double springboard somersault plancha! Well now! He rolls Teddy back in and heads up top. He goes for...something, but ends up diving directly into a Diamond Cutter.
Teddy tries to rip his arm off with a wicked Fujiwara armbar takedown. Storm reaches the ropes, then rolls out. Teddy kicks him, then scores with an Asai moonsault (using the top rope instead of the middle). Back in the ring, Storm ducks a clothesline and delivers the Wonderwall slam (a half Nelson driver of sorts). He heads up top, but a moonsault misses.
Teddy's turn to climb. He obliterates Storm with a diving DDT that seriously looks like it might have ended his life. The rest of this match is academic. Teddy heads back to the top and hits the Hart Attack (his name for the Shooting Star Press) for the win.
Ah...Teddy Hart. Rarely has someone squandered so much potential. The guy could have been awesome. Maybe he still is. Haven't seen him in ages because JAPW is pretty much the only company that will bother to book him these days. I described Juvy as being flaky earlier, but Teddy makes him look normal. Maybe he's still using his down time to train his army of cats. Oy.
-Taylor interviews Sonny Siaki. He proclaims himself the guy in charge, but Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger aren't buying it. Shane Douglas comes in and yells at them, telling them to be serious and focus on WarGames.
Chris Sabin (USA) v. Jerry Lynn (USA) -
Sabin jumps Lynn before the bell. He pounds on him a bit and levels him with a back elbow. Lynn comes back with a clothesline and punches away at Sabin from the mount. He stomps on Sabin and rams him into the corner. Sabin breaks the momentum with an eyerake. He whips Lynn into the corner, following him in with a knee to the gut. Whip to the opposite corner. Sabin charges, but Lynn moves.
Sabin lands on the second rope, but Lynn quickly takes him to the mat with a sunset flip powerbomb for two. Sabin reverses a whip, but Lynn stops himself by grabbing the ropes. Sabin charges, but Lynn tosses him out. He tries to pull him back in, but Sabin snaps his throat across the top rope. He drives his shoulder into Lynn's gut, then slingshots in with a sunset flip.
Lynn tries to block by grabbing the ropes, but the ref kicks his hand away. Cover gets two. Why did that spot die, anyway? Sabin lifts Lynn for a Cop Killer (!), but he slips away. He kicks Sabin in the gut and plants him with the TKO. Cover, but Sabin reaches the ropes. Lynn argues with the ref and grabs him. Don Callis comes out and says that if Lynn harms the ref, he'll lose his job. Low blow by Sabin. He rolls Lynn up for the win.
Ugh. That finish is what we call the shits. Precisely the type of garbage you shouldn't be doing in a tournament setting. Match was decent for what it was, though. The problem with everything on this show is that they decided to run it in one night *plus* have their big WarGames match. Guess who gets shafted...the X-Division matches or the match with Jarrett? I don't think any of the first round matches even run five minutes.
-Taylor interviews Raven (w/CM Punk & Julio Dinero). For one of the few times in his career, Raven has nothing interesting to say.
Frankie Kazarian (USA) v. Michael Shane (USA) -
This is the final first round match. Shane opens with a side headlock. Kazarian shoots him into the ropes, but gets tackled. He comes back with a pair of armdrags, followed by a Japanese armdrag. Shane retreats into the corner. Kazarian follows, nailing him with a dropkick. Shane collapses, with Kazarian catching him with a second dropkick. Cover gets two. He grabs a side headlock of his own, but Shane dumps him with a backdrop suplex.
He punches away at Kazarian and chokes him in the corner. A pair of backbreakers are good for a nearfall. Kazarian manages a few quick rollups, but Shane easily escapes. Kazarian backdrops him, though, then follows with a pair of clotheslines. He punches away at Shane in the corner, then whips him into the opposite corner. He charges, but runs into a boot for his troubles.
Shane bounces off the ropes, but gets caught in a snap powerslam (a la Goldust's). Cover gets two. Kazarian lifts him for a suplex, but Shane escapes and nails him with an enzuigiri for two. Shane signals for the superkick. Kazarian catches the foot and hooks him for the Wave of the Future (swinging Flatliner). Shane blocks it and goes for a Fisherman's suplex. Kazarian counters. Shane goes for a powerbomb, but Kazarian turns it into a 'rana. He jacknifes Shane on the cover and picks up the duke!
I generally hate Michael Shane, except when he works with or against Kazarian interestingly enough. So this was all sorts of okay. Kazarian is one of those guys who has about a zillion signature spots and has a tendency to want to hit them all in every match, but when he reigns himself in, he can be awesome.
-Taylor interviews AJ Styles & Vince Russo. Christ...Russo *towers* over AJ. He talks about the deck being stacked against the champ, but that as long as he's breathing, nothing will ever happen to AJ.
Teddy Hart (Canada) v. Juventud Guerrera (Mexico) -
Teddy has changed into his oven mitt pants. Don't ask. We get a handshake and it's go time! Side headlock by Juvy. Hart shoots him into the ropes and gets tackled. They crisscross and Teddy goes for a tilt-a-whirl slam. Juvy counters into a DDT. He heads to the second rope, but dives into a Fujiwara armbar takedown. Teddy pulls him to his feet, then hits a Russian Legsweep.
He holds on, rolling them back to their feet once again. Juvy blocks a second Russian Legsweep and goes for a quebradora. Teddy lands on his feet and takes him back down, going back to the Fujiwara armbar. They briefly trade strikes and Teddy cuts Juvy off with a rake to the eyes. He whips Juvy into the corner, but charges into a boot. Headscissors takedown by Juvy causes Teddy to bail.
Juvy goes for the Tiger feint, but Hart grabs his legs and yanks him to the floor. He climbs onto the apron and takes Juvy over with a Rewind 'rana of sorts. He follows with a springboard moonsault off the rail. He sets up for the Asai moonsault, but Juvy grabs his leg and pulls him off of the apron. Teddy hits his head on the apron. Juvy rolls in. He fakes a dive, then climbs onto the apron, connecting with a springboard crossbody.
Both guys are on the apron. Teddy goes for a springboard, but gets crotched. Juvy then springboards off the top, turns in midair and takes Hart over with a 'rana. Nifty. Cover gets two. He plants Teddy with his pumphandle facebuster and picks up another nearfall. Teddy counters with a quick rollup of his own and gets two. He slips away from an attempted powerbomb and hits a Beach Break (essentially, an Alabama Slam where the guy drops to his knees, spiking his opponent headfirst into the mat).
He pulls Juvy into the corner and heads up top. Skytwister Press! And a gorgeous one at that. Cover gets two. Juvy bails out. Asai moonsault by Hart! He stands around for like 30 seconds, then suddenly starts selling his knee as if it spontaneously exploded. Funny stuff. Juvy rolls in as Hart rolls onto the apron. He drives a shoulder to Juvy's gut. He tries to slingshot in, but Juvy catches him and dumps him with a waterwheel slam.
Juvy sends him into the ropes. Hart goes for a sunset flip, but Juvy rolls through and dropkicks him. Cover gets two. Juicy Elbow time! It misses, but he kips up immediately. Juice Bottom gets two. He lifts Teddy into a Torture Rack, then spins it into a powerbomb, picking up another nearfall. He lifts Hart for the Juvy Driver, but he slips away and nails him in the back of the head.
Juvy is staggered. Hart heads up top, spiking Juvy with a diving Tornado DDT. Cover gets two. He pulls Juvy into the corner and connects with the SSP. He clutches at his knee, unable to make a cover. Juvy Driver! He heads up top. Teddy kips up (!) and crotches him, ignoring the knee he was selling like crazy 15 seconds ago. He's looking for a 'rana, but Juvy blocks it and spikes him with a Super Juvy Driver! This one is over.
This was a really fun match with some really goofy selling by Hart. It's not shown during the PPV, but apparently, after the match Hart does his postmatch routine of doing backflips off the top rope. To "honor" Owen, so he says. Guess that knee was fine after all.
-Mike Tenay and Don West do their "Interrogators" interview segment with the Red Shirt Security team (Kevin Northcutt & Ryan Wilson). They talk, I guess. Their lips move as I hit fast forward, at any rate.
Chris Sabin (USA) v. Frankie Kazarian (USA) -
Match turns into a brawl from the get go. Kazarian levels Sabin with a shortarm clothesline and follows with a series of dropkicks. He whips Sabin into the corner. Sabin collapses. Kazarian charges for his corner dropkick, but Sabin gets his boots up. He takes Kazarian down and punches away at him. He whips Kazarian from corner to corner, following him in with a running kneelift each time.
Sabin lifts him for a suplex, then drops him over the top rope. Kazarian hits his head on the apron. Sabin goes for a tope, but Kazarian blocks it, somehow causing Sabin to crotch himself. He slingshots over the top, spiking Sabin with a DDT on the edge of the apron. This looks absolutely BRUTAL. He rolls Sabin back in and picks up a nearfall.
Kazarian whips him into the corner. Sabin floats onto the apron. Kazarian ducks a clothesline and kicks him in the gut. Sunset flip powerbomb to the floor! Kazarian rolls him and gets another two count. He goes for a whip, but Sabin reverses. Kazarian is looking for a springboard back elbow, but Sabin catches him, turning it into a German suplex. Awesome. Kazarian is up first, but Sabin manages to 'rana him into the corner.
He plants Kazarian with a Tiger suplex, picking up a nearfall. He grabs a straightjacket choke, then drops to his knees, driving his shoulder into the back of Kazarian's neck. Kazarian eventually reaches the ropes. He reverses a whip, sending Sabin into the corner. He tries to float over, but Kazarian gets him into position for the Ocean Cyclone suplex. Sabin slips away.
Kazarian nails him with a back elbow. He goes for a Tornado DDT, but Sabin deposits him onto the apron. Kazarian holds onto him, though, choking him in the ropes. Ref breaks it up. Kazarian springboards in, but Sabin meets him with a kick to the gut. He lifts him for a Fisherman's suplex, but Kazarian slips away and spikes him with the Wave of the Future. He covers, but Sabin escapes at two.
Sabin reverses a whip, sending Kazarian into the corner. Kazarian leaps to the second rope. He grabs Sabin, who nails him with the Pelé kick. He follows with a Muscle Buster (he calls it the Future Shock, I believe). Cover gets two. Sabin heads up top. Kazarian cuts him off...Flux Capacitor! He's unable to make the cover. Both guys are up. Sabin charges, but runs into a boot. Kazarian goes for a victory roll, but Sabin rolls through and picks up the win!
Great, great match. It probably holds up better than anything else in the tournament, actually. The previous match and the following match get the hype, but this was much better overall. Not as flashy, but flash isn't necessary for a good match.
-Terry Taylor interviews AMW. Blah, blah, blah. Kid Kash and Abyss walk in. Kash slaps Taylor and the Red Shirts quickly move in to hold Taylor back. Don't remember this angle. Probably don't want to.
Chris Sabin (USA) v. Juventud Guerrera (Mexico) - Super X Finals -
Sabin stalls to open the match. He offers a hand, then slaps Juvy, who quickly returns fire. They both bounce off the ropes and collide with double shoulder blocks, but neither will budge. They bounce off the ropes again, this time dropping to the mat. They pop back up and both go for dropkicks. If you think this leads to a standoff, gimme a hell yeah. Sabin again offers his hand. This time, though, Juvy flips him off. Juicy!
He goes for a whip, but Sabin reverses, ducking his head. Juvy kicks him. He ducks a clothesline and follows up with a spin kick. Headscissors takedown on Sabin. Juvy armdrags him, then grabs an armbar. Sabin reverses a whip. He hoists Juvy up and powerbombs him super awkwardly. Juvy lands right on his shoulder and neck. Ouch. Sabin hits an enzuigiri and picks up a nearfall.
He pounds on Juvy in the corner. Whip to the opposite corner, but he charges into a boot. Spinning heel kick by Juvy. Sabin rolls to the floor. Juvy follows with a pescado. He rolls Sabin in, then hits a slingshot elbowdrop for two. He locks Sabin in an abdominal stretch with a hammerlock adding to the pressure. He releases and goes for a whip.
Sabin reverses. Juvy climbs onto his shoulders and spins into a 'rana attempt. Sabin blocks it and plants him with a wheelbarrow suplex. Cover gets two. Straightjacket choke by Sabin. He drops a knee, then heads up top. Juvy cuts him off and looks for a powerbomb. Sabin goes over the top, countering into a sunset flip. Juvy rolls through, of course, nailing him with a dropkick. He covers, but Sabin escapes at two.
Sabin stops the momentum with a rake of the eyes. He snapmares Juvy and locks him in a surfboard submission. Juvy reverses him into the corner. Sabin tries to float over, but Juvy catches him, turning it into an Ocean Cyclone suplex for two. Sabin reverses a whip. Juvy slides between his legs and grabs a rear waistlock. Sabin reverses, looking for a German suplex. Juvy lands on his feet. Sabin kicks him in the gut.
He lifts Juvy for a powerbomb. Juvy slips away. He goes for a powerbomb of his own, but Sabin also counters free. They run through a Malenko/Guerrero rollup sequence, then both collapse due to exhaustion. Back on their feet, they trade punches. Sabin knees Juvy in the gut and goes for a whip. Juvy reverses him into the corner. Sabin goes for the floatover and again gets caught.
He goes for an inverted suplex, but Juvy lands on his feet. Sabin goes for an Air Raid Crash, but Juvy escapes. He lifts Sabin for a backdrop suplex, but Sabin rolls through. Juvy rolls him up for a quick nearfall. Sabin rolls to his feet, but Juvy takes him right back down with a wheelbarrow bulldog. Juvy is up first. He connects with a springboard dropkick and signals for the Juvy Driver.
He lifts Sabin, who manages to slip away. He gets Juvy in an over the shoulder backbreaker, then drops it into a DDT for two. Fisherman's suplex attempt by Sabin, but Juvy escapes. He goes for a double underhook suplex, but Sabin blocks it. Juvy chops him a few times, then dumps him with a double underhook piledriver. Cover gets two. He goes for a the Juvy Driver once again, but this time Sabin counters into a DDT, getting two.
He heads up top, but ends up diving into a dropkick. Juvy picks up a nearfall. His turn to go up top. Sabin cuts him off and takes him over with a superplex. They land with an arm draped over one another, but both manage to lift a shoulder at two. Sabin goes for a clothesline, but Juvy ducks it and kicks him in the gut. Juvy Driver finally connects! As does the 450° splash. He covers, but Sabin reaches the ropes at the last second! Juvy isn't happy. He lifts Sabin for his pumphandle facebuster, but Sabin slips away and quickly spikes him with a Fisherman's suplex. He covers Juvy and gets the win! Sabin is your Super X champion!
This was even better than I remembered it. The biggest gripe I'd have with the match is that it gets a bit counter-heavy at times, but that certainly doesn't detract from the match. Sabin's selling is iffy, but he had all of two years of experience at this point. Selling is definitely something that comes with time. Juvy is just so good in this. Damn.
-They run a hype package for the return of Roddy Piper. The last lines? "He's coming...and he's pissed." What is this, a slasher movie?
-Tenay and West blather about the one cent PPV the next week as the cage gets set up.
Wednesday Bloody Wednesday -
Okay, if you're not familiar with the WarGames match (TNA's version, anyway), here are the rules. First two guys are in the ring for three minutes. The teams flipped a coin backstage to determine who gets the man advantage (here's a hint...it's almost always the heels). People enter every 90 seconds after that. Match can only end once everyone is in the ring. Since that's not extreme enough for TNA, this match also features tons of weapons hanging off of the cage.
Erik Watts (TNA's Director of Authority at the time) comes out as the special referee. He sends Borash, the timekeeper and the ring attendant to the back, bringing out 3 Live Kru to replace them. Christopher Daniels is the first entrant. Vince Russo comes out with him, wearing AJ Styles' NWA Title belt. Lovely. First guy for the opposing team is Jeff Jarrett, who comes out with Dusty Rhodes.
Daniels attacks before Jarrett can enter the cage. They brawl around ringside for a bit, until Daniels finally throws Jarrett into the ring. He goes for a whip, but Jarrett reverses it and plants him with a spinebuster. He rams Daniels into the cage a few times and grabs a trashcan lid off of the cage. He tries to hit Daniels, who kicks it back into Jarrett's face. Don Callis comes out and joins in on commentary.
Daniels pummels Jarrett with a series of weapons (cane, nunchucks). He heads up top with the cane, but Jarrett gets his feet up. He slingshots Daniels into the cage and starts grinding his face into the mesh. AJ Styles is out. Jarrett meets him with the cane. He rams AJ into the cage and tosses a garbage can at him. AJ reverses a whip and Daniels clotheslines Jarrett. The heels pound Jarrett down.
Daniels is setting up a table as Chris Harris hits the ring. He cleans house, including a wicked spear to Styles. Heels quickly come back, though. AJ hoists Jarrett up for a powerbomb, Daniels comes off the ropes and clotheslines him through the table. Well...Jarrett barely touches it, actually and Daniels essentially leaps through the table himself and doesn't even sell it, but that's neither here nor there.
Simon Diamond is the next guy out. Cue the heel beatdown part two. Jarrett is busted open. As is Daniels, apparently. Jarrett goes apeshit with a strap, but he's cut off quickly. D'Lo Brown is out. People brawl. There's already too many people and way too much crap in the ring to do much else. Somewhere in this mess, Harris absolutely destroys Styles with a Catatonic. Shane Douglas is out next.
More heel beatdownery. Ugh. Trying to do WarGames in one ring was such a poor idea. Russo tosses his bat to Douglas. He nails Jarrett, then tries to line up shots on everyone else. He has no room, though, so he basically stands around for 30 seconds, looking stupid. James Storm is out. Jarrett gets his guitar out of the corner and kabongs Daniels. Swinger is out. People are standing around doing pretty much nothing by this point.
And...Raven limps out. Hooray! Now this match can finally end! The heels pretend that Dusty is actually in the ring instead of at ringside, lining up not for the Bionic elbow, but for Raven's cookie sheet. People brawl. All we see is a mass of bodies. I yawn. Harris is bleeding. Match has gone several minutes without me writing a word. Mostly because not a damn thing is happening.
Hey! The finisher train just pulled up! Evenflow to Douglas. Sky High to Daniels. Problem Solver to D'Lo. Spear to Simon. 8 Second Ride to Swinger. Quebrada DDT to Storm. AJ is up top. Jarrett cuts him off...Stroke off the top! D'Lo and Harris come off the top with a frogsplash/legdrop combo on AJ. Jarrett covers and this match is mercifully over.
After the match, pretty much every other non-X Division wrestler on the roster runs out to brawl. Raven and Douglas are left in the cage. James Mitchell brings out the New Church. They hold the door shut as Douglas tries to cut Raven's hair. And that's where we fade out.
Wow. What a mess of a match. A real downer to end an otherwise top notch show. Interesting to see Jarrett and Daniels facing off the bulk of the time. That would have been a fun feud at the time, but they never really went anywhere with it. But TNA never gives me what I want to see, so why should I be surprised?
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