Heart Punch

FOR : SIGN OF THE WEEK: "Vince Losing His Toup" AGAINST : Vince's head-shaving rampage. AGAINST : We're in Cleveland. How has the guy in the Roethlisberger jersey not been killed yet? AGAINST : Lashley/Kennedy again? FOR : OH. FOR : Vince grabbing the mic from Kennedy. "Because it's MY MICROPHONE!" FOR : Tables? FOR : The girl in the RGX body spray ad. AGAINST : Ashley in red. FOR: Cole bringing up the girls' blog battle on WWE.com. AGAINST: Blogger's spell-checker doesn't recognize the word "blog". AGAINST : That needs to cease. FOR : London tagging in Kendrick off the kickout. AGAINST : Is that blood on that hook? FOR: JBL on how rednecks fight. FOR : This match. AGAINST : The moonsault-followed-by-a-moonsault spot. So contrived. FOR : The Skaaland tribute. Have they done one for Bad News yet? AGAINST : WTF? A black "Money Pit"? AGAINST : Chimel introducing The Condemned trailer? FOR: The Condemned trailer. AGA...

The flurry of Heart Punch activity continues, as I bust out a Video Vault post, just so I can say that we had new content every day for a week. Because that's certainly worthy of merit, right? RIGHT? Chris Hero & Team F.I.S.T. (Icarus & Akuma) v. Mike Quackenbush & ShaneSaw (Shane Storm & Jigsaw) (CHIKARA - Return of the Son of the International Invasion of the International Invaders: 1st Stage - 8.19.06) Spreadin' the CHIKARA love! Seriously...if you can watch CHIKARA and not *love* CHIKARA, you might be dead inside. I'm about to dive into the King of Trios shows tonight, so huzzah to me. And, uh...this match is heaping helpings of awesome. Just watch it. Necro Butcher v. Roderick Strong (IWA:MS - Hurt - 3.24.06) Not as fun as most of the Necro "dream matches" that have happened over the past year. Which is odd, as you'd think Roddy would be the perfect guy to beat the shit out of Necro (because really…that's what most of these matches amo...

-So, this grand experiment (both WSX *and* me, Captain Lazy, doing six recaps in six days) is coming to an end. And what did we learn? Wrestling is more fun with explosions. A thirty minute wrestling show is better paced (and booked) than it's one hour TNA counterpart. That I have too much free time. And so it goes… -Tonight, Alkatrazz & Luke Hawx face Arik Cannon & Vic Grimes. Scorpio Sky versus 6-Pac and Jack Evans goes against the Human Tornado ! -Montage. - Styles P performs. -Clips from last week's title match. Alkatrazz & Luke Hawx v. Arik Cannon & Vic Grimes (w/Nic Grimes) - Hawx takes control over Cannon early. He ducks his head, though, and Cannon plants him with a swinging neckbreaker. They trade strikes and Cannon hits his elevated swinging neckbreaker, picking up a two count in the process. Grimes tags in. He whips Luke into the ropes, but gets taken over with a headscissors. Say what you will about Grimes, but he's certainly willing to bum...

Almost to the end of these things and I'll be damned...I've managed to finish all of these things and finish them ON TIME! What were the odds of that happening? Also, this is post #251, so that's a milestone of sorts. Or one after said milestone, at any rate. So like what...220 of them are by Matt and I? We have writers...they're just really friggin' lazy. Or, uhh...have lives or something. Whatever. Go us! -This time, only the Banderas/Vampiro title match is important enough to hype. Either that, or it goes the full show. And I'm guessing that ain't the case. -Opening montage. - Pitbull performs. -After last week's show (why do I still refer to these things as if they didn't all air in one night, anyway?), The Cartel jumped Los Pochos Guapos in the parking lot. This leads to LPG coming out and challenging The Cartel. We have ourselves a brawl, folks! We also have ourselves a referee, who decides that bells need to be rung to make this official! Los...

-Tonight, we get Matt Sydal versus Human Tornado , Arik Cannon challenges The Cartel (and he's not coming alone!) and Los Pochos Guapos square off with The Filth and the Fury. -Opening montage. - Quietdrive performs Rise From the Ashes . Ricky Banderas throws Youth Suicide onto the stage and kills the shit out of him. A roadie gets in the way and ends up being powerbombed off of the stage and through a table. Vampiro looks on. Next week, the title is on the line. -The guys from Quietdrive (who probably have names, if I cared enough to look) join in on commentary. The Cartel (w/El Jefe & Mongol ) v. Arik Cannon and… The Cartel is Delikado's new group. It's him, Lil' Cholo (mostly a SoCal worker, though he's popped in CZW in the past. Kinda gets slagged as being B-Boy lite), El Jefe (probably best known for appearing on the wrestling episode of Monster Garage ) & Mongol. Cannon's partner is "Vicious" Vic Grimes and my, has he grown. He's ...

FOR: Batista's suit. FOR: Miz as Grand Shit Disturber. FOR: Batista: "I'm just not sure if I like you." KENNEDY. AGAINST: JBL's Rant Of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. AGAINST: We missed the Fan Axxess tour. :( FOR: Kennedy's outside-in suplex. AGAINST: This Cole-JBL argument. They're not really disagreeing. FOR: JBL: "Well aren't you Nostra-damn-damus." AGAINST: Bad form on the Kenton Bomb. FOR: The ending sequence with Matt grabbing the ropes, dropping out of the steamroller and hitting the Twist of Fate to win. AGAINST: Honduras has its own champion? AGAINST: "El Grande Latte?" Didn't either JBL or Angle or both do this? AGAINST: This man does not weigh 254 pounds. FOR: JBL: "I wrestled this guy's dad!" AGAINST: How is the Overdrive a finisher? FOR: MVP dropping the history. AGAINST: MVP kicks Benoit Cole: "A right hand to Chris Benoit." FOR: I actually want to know what JBL's planni...

I've said this before, but it requires repeating…FUCK MTV! Looks like the series finale won't be airing at this point. Further, the contracts of those in WSX are set up as to not expire…until 90 days after the finale airs. Not sure of the legal implications there, but it sure is quite the dick move against a bunch of indy guys who already struggle enough to make a living. This time out, we get Scorpio Sky versus Jack Evans , DIFH v. That 70's Team and Ricky Banderas will call out WSX Champion Vampiro. -Montage. - Good Charlotte performs. They look like they'd rather be pretty much anywhere else in the world. Fitting their gimmick, Matt Sydal and Lizzy Valentine are seen rocking out at ringside. -Elsewhere, Lacey is waiting for Vampiro to arrive. I'm waiting for Jimmy Jacobs to come out and croon to Lacey. He is the "mellow" member of DIFH, after all. Scorpio Sky v. Jack Evans - They do stuff, but it's interrupting Good Charlotte joining the comment...

Two recaps in two days? Perish the thought! What are the odds that I can make it through all six shows without skipping a day? That would be nutty. -Tonight, The Filth and the Fury faces Team Dragon Gate. 6-Pac answers Human Tornado's challenge. Arik Cannon debuts versus the also debuting Delikado and Ricky Banderas SPEAKS! -Opening montage. - Jibbs performs. -Clips of the fireball angle from the last show. This leads into the Banderas promo (w/subtitles, even though he speaks decently clean English). Apparently, Vampiro is the cause of his facial scarring after he rigged Banderas' coffin to explode. What is it with Vamp and exploding coffins? He promises Vamp that his days are numbered. Team Dragon Gate v. The Filth and the Fury - Teddy Hart and Yoshino open with a quick armdrag sequence. Hart takes control, taking him down with a Russian legsweep and picking up a two count. Both guys tag. Genki tackles M-Dogg, then takes him over with a hiptoss. He charges, but gets elevated...

I decided to hold this recap until after the marathon (or, I'm lazy. YOU DECIDE!) so that I could do six recaps in six days, leading to the exciting series finale (?) of the fine Wrestling Society X programming. And I'm being totally serious with that last line, as I think they put out a very enjoyable product. As I've probably said in the past, it might be stupid fun…but it's still fun. I'll be sorry to see it go. -On tonight's show, Scorpio Sky makes his debut against Matt Sydal . Human Tornado faces El Hombre. Will someone answer Keepin' It Gangsta's open challenge? And 6-Pac is in the house! -Montagery. - Clipse perform "Wamp Wamp (What It Do?). I always thought (well actually, I never gave it much thought at all) that Clipse was one person. What do I know? And this song title is what I dredged up from my friend named Google . If it's wrong, my bad. Matt Sydal (w/Lizzy Valentine) v. Scorpio Sky - Scorp is probably best known for his work ...

FOR: JBL: "I'm surrounded by queens." AGAINST: Little early for the Twist of Fate, isn't it? FOR: Matt's suplex block/counter. With a twist. AGAINST: I'm not sure he meant to do that. FOR: Sharmell using her shoe as a weapon. AGAINST: Bad setup for the Scissors Kick. FOR: This video package of Undertaker just killing fools. AGAINST: MVP's somewhat backwards logic. FOR: Vince dancing. AGAINST: Kane's sweating like a hog. FOR: Kane doing matwork? FOR: I wonder if JBL's "whistling by the graveyard" line was intentional. On some level it probably was. FOR: JBL saying that Kane is a good test for Batista at this point. AGAINST: I doubt Taker's taking notes. FOR: The closeup on Batista's counter of Kane's flying clothesline. FOR: Batista selling the back after the Batista Bomb. AGAINST: Why is Miz sitting on the canvas when there are two chairs in the ring? FOR: Is that the old Jeritron 3000? FOR: Melina! AGAINS...

From Meltz's update today: -- Badnews Allen passed away at 5:30 a.m. this morning in Calgary at the age of 63 from a heart attack. We have no further details. Allan Coage was an Olympic bronze medal winner in judo, started wrestling in Japan and was a legendary heel in Stampede Wrestling in the early 80s. He worked later in WWE as Badnews Brown. He was a tremendous promo and very outspoken about his career and was often voted among the best guests in the history of our radio show. Another week, another legend lost. If you don't remember him, Bad News was pretty much Steve Austin a decade before "Stone Cold" meant anything. Pretty much the ultimate badass of the mid-80s WWF product. Who's going to give a Ghettoblaster to the sharecroppers now? Not too much of him on the video sites, but I'll post what I can find... Bad News Allen v. Yoshihiro Takayama (UWFi) Bad News Allen v. Gary Albright (UWFi) Bad News Allen v. Kazushi Sakuraba (UWFi) Bad News Allen v. Bret ...

AGAINST: A turtleneck, Dave? FOR: The old-school Undertaker video treatment. FOR : JBL pushing Cole's lips onto Booker's hand. AGAINST: I can't understand a word Booker's said. FOR: I'm a little surprised Christian got mentioned there. FOR: Twist of Fate off the top turnbuckle. OUCH. Sick. AGAINST : I've figured it out. Maryse spends way too much time in the tanning booth. AGAINST : They're really clipping these entrances. AGAINST : Yep, Helms has new music. And it blows. FOR: Remember when these guys were teammates? (And where is Kaz Hayashi these days?) AGAINST : Scotty shaved his goatee? FOR : Way to skin the cat, Yang. FOR : The finish. FOR : The fans booing Vince's call for silence. FOR : The Lashley-Umaga video packages, particularly Lashley jumping through the cage wall on ECW and dropping it on Umaga. FOR : 'Sup, Bobby. AGAINST : Vince is gonna regret that. FOR : It's No Holds Barred, but only for Kennedy? That's diabolica...