Heart Punch

And I can't stop staring back How did I get this way? Take a big look at a living lie... It was the finest neighborhood in the small town, and the house everyone went by every day was as beautiful as it ever was. At least it was then. In a few hours helicopters would surround it from the sky and newscameras would surround it on the ground, but that was the future nobody saw coming. Since everyone just went by the house on the way to their usual jaunts they had no idea the wife was strangled, the son suffocated, and as their corpses' odors began wafting through the air that usually hummed with conditioning that the great man who wasn't that great at all had prepared the final seconds of his life. Chris Benoit stepped off the chair and into the underworld. Thank God. Sometimes I dream about it What it's like back home The railroad tracks and the pussy willow Every time something like this happens, the cliche angel gets its wings. But out of all the It Wasn't Suppose...

I really don't know what the fuck to say anymore. I'm watching CM Punk crying his eyes out about a guy who was "his hero." He shouldn't be doing that now. Neither of these guys in the picture should be dead right now. I and many other fans shouldn't feel like this whole wrestling thing is just a big waste of time now, that it really doesn't matter anymore. I really don't know what the fuck to do right now. I really don't. God bless you Chris Benoit. I hope you find some sort of peace in the next world. ******************** Pro wrestler, family found dead in Fayetteville home By Saeed Ahmed, Kathy Jefcoats The Atlanta-Journal Constitution Published on: 06/25/07 In its ongoing attempt to constantly outdo itself, the World Wrestling Entertainment recently staged the "death" of its chairman in an apparent limo explosion. Monday night, the largest wrestling organization in the world grappled with a real-life murder mystery: What led to the app...

I don't even know what the heck to say any more when this happens. I'm sure the rest of the Heart Punch family will have more to add later. . .so I'll just leave it with the words from WWE.com. R.I.P., Chris. ------------ World Wrestling Entertainment was informed today by authorities in Fayetteville County, Ga., that WWE Superstar Chris Benoit , his wife, Nancy, and his son were found dead in their home. Authorities are investigating, but no other details are available at this time. Instead of its announced programming for tonight on USA Network, WWE will air a three-hour tribute to Chris Benoit. Chris was beloved among his fellow Superstars, and was a favorite among WWE fans for his unbelievable athleticism and wrestling ability. He always took great pride in his performance, and always showed respect for the business he loved, for his peers and towards his fans. This is a terrible tragedy and an unbearable loss. WWE extends its sincere condolences and prayers to the...

FOR: Torrie's wondering what's up with that introduction, too. AGAINST: That's some pretty flimsy evidence, Edge. AGAINST: The hell does MVP have to do with this? FOR: Here's Flair to be the voice of reason. FOR: That works too. FOR: JBL on somebody else having his number: "I don't think that's ever happened in my career." AGAINST: Funaki's already in the ring? This can't be good. AGAINST: Nope. AGAINST: That's not gonna get it done. AGAINST: Way to telegraph it, Teddy. AGAINST: A 'fact-finding' mission? FOR: JBL: "There's 13 people there. What'd he have to find out?" AGAINST: No, Cole, Teddy's announcement has NOTHING to do with the investigation. FOR: This sort of half-cloverleaf Finlay's got Matt in. FOR: GREAT ending. AGAINST: I'm not sure how to gauge that crowd reaction. AGAINST: Wait, what? AGAINST: Masters? Talk about going from bad to worse. FOR: The Master Lock montage. A...

-Opening montage. With no champion to focus on, CM Punk gets the coveted final shot. -Later tonight, Punk squares off with Marcus Cor Van and Chris Benoit faces Elijah Burke. The winners advance to Vengeance: Night of Champions, where the ECW Title will be up for grabs. -Vince stuff. I'll be typing that a bunch in the coming weeks (months) as it's little more than a fast forward point for me, so get used to it! Chris Benoit v. Elijah Burke - This is going to rock. Seriously, why is Burke not getting the love he deserves. He's churning out some consistently awesome TV matches and working smart while he does it. Thank heavens they dropped Terkay, so the star of the team was given a chance to shine. And, uh…yeah. I think Chris Benoit has shown himself to be pretty nifty in the past as well! Benoit opens the match with a rear waistlock takedown. They trade reversals on the mat for a bit and Benoit ends up shoving him into the corner. He moves in, but eats a back elbow. Double l...

AGAINST: The draft. Smackdown got robbed like the Great Train. FOR: The new guys are already in in the credits. AGAINST: Seriously, how do I even approach this? AGAINST: Philly may have been the wrong place to do this in. AGAINST: I'm gonna miss those kids. Good luck on the big show. AGAINST: They're even doing the testimonials? FOR: At least Teddy's was pretty good. FOR: JBL emphasizing getting Torrie Wilson (as, frankly, he should) AGAINST: That was an odd escape by Matt there. FOR: Matt wins! Good match. FOR: MVP continually ducking out of the ring to slow down Batista, and Cole and JBL explaining it as such. AGAINST: The "Rizza"? Who pronounces that phonetically? FOR: The build to the boot Batista over the security wall spot. AGAINST: MVP > Chono? Dubious. FOR: Cole: "Can you imagine what it might be like getting hit by a cannonball?" JBL: "I can imagine what it's like getting hit by Batista." AGAINST: Isn't ...

-We open with a shot of WWE Headquarters. The WWE flag flies at half mast. Amazingly enough, they had the restraint to not fly the US Flag at half mast as well. I'm literally shocked by that. Anyway, if you missed Raw…Vince McMahon? Dead. As a doorknob. A burnt up, crispy doorknob! -Let's see how that entire Vince McMahon being dead thing came about! They replay the entire segment, which of course means we got to see Paul London's inappropriately giant grin again. I think he's hiding something! Get Leslie Nielson on the case! Where's Angela Lansbury when you need her? And that gigantic guy that was standing behind Charlie Haas is apparently Dan Rodimer, for whatever that's worth. At any rate, VINCE GO BOOM! -The announcers are sad. No one else is, though. They tell us that tonight's matches are dedicated to Vince. -10 bell salute. Moment of silence? Not so much. The crowd booed each time the bell was rung. The announcers were both shocked and appalled by thi...

-One Night Stand footage shows Bobby Lashley regaining the ECW title. Yawn. -Opening montage. -Vince McMahon is sitting on a stage. By himself. In a rocking chair. This probably won't end well. Lashley is headed to the ring! Vince doesn't even acknowledge his presence. Bobby Lashley v. Balls Mahoney, Tommy Dreamer & Sandman - Hardcore Handicap match - The Originals grab plunder before rolling in. They whale on Lashley and he bails. He comes in and the mugging continues. Lashley again gets the hell outta Dodge. He suplexes Dreamer, but Sandman cuts him off with cane shots. He and Dreamer suplex Lashley in the floor. Dreamer goes for a whip, but gets reversed into the steps. Balls jumps Lashley and rolls him in. He and Sandman lift Lashley and dump him gutfirst across the top rope. Balls hold on to him as Sandman heads up top, hitting a legdrop. Cover gets two. Vince looks on, his expression unchanged. Lashley is tied to the Tree of Woe. Balls holds a chair in his face and Dr...

FOR: Cartoon Edge in the credits. FOR: Sign of the Week: "Crude, Lewd, and Booed" AGAINST: Vince for president, JBL? FOR: Vince is mad at Edge? AGAINST: Vince's accent. FOR: That very strange Finlay/Hornswaggle video package. FOR: They should always be this short. AGAINST: Cole: "That's not necessary!" AGAINST: Long standing in the background like he's supposed to be there. FOR: The creeped-out look on Kristal's face as Vince enters the office. AGAINST : Vince seeing what Teddy doesn't. FOR: Daivari's still around? AGAINST: Did Noble's arm actually snap? FOR: Cole on 'Tinker to Evers to Chance': "Glad you're using references from the 1930's." JBL: "Actually, the 20s." FOR: JBL giving Noble the Matt Hardy treatment. FOR: SLICED BREAD #3!!! That's what I'm calling it. AGAINST: Is Edge wearing a watch? AGAINST: You know the straits are dire when you're using Steven Hunter in ...

The end results of the cage match with Whitmer... Lots of nifty stuff this time around. I was trying to pull only the newest matches I could find, hoping that maybe people here hadn't seen them. Not sure if anyone watches these, though, so there you go! It's interesting that no one seems to post the new TNA stuff. Don't know if that means anything in particular, though, or if I'm just not looking hard enough. Jimmy Jacobs v. BJ Whitmer - Last Man Standing (ROH - Battle of the Icons - 1.27.07) (16:16) Jimmy Jacobs, Adam Pearce & Lacey v. BJ Whitmer, Colt Cabana & Daisy Haze - Street Fight (ROH - Fifth Year Anniversary:Philly - 2.17.07) (14:12) Jimmy Jacobs v. BJ Whitmer - Cage match (ROH - Supercard of Honor II - 3.31.07) Part One (18:56) Part Two (13:26) Jacobs/Whitmer is pretty well the feud of the first half of the year, I imagine. The cage match is getting some early match of the year candidate buzz as well. Supposed to be quite the violent specatacle. All of...

-Montage. -Randy Orton comes out. He shows clips of what he did to Rob Van Dam on Raw. Apparently, Van Dam has challenged him to a Stretcher Match at One Night Stand. Orton finds this fitting, since Shawn Michaels had to be stretchered out as well. Tommy Dreamer comes out. Challenges are tossed out and accepted, so we have ourselves a main event. Orton promises to kill the legend of ECW. -Later tonight, Bobby Lashley and Vince McMahon go face to face. Also, and much more importantly, CM Punk squares off with Elijah Burke in a No Disqualification match. And it's coming up next! Tremendous! -Commercials CM Punk v. Elijah Burke - No DQ - Lockup, side headlock by Punk. He chains it into a hammerlock, but Burke takes him down with a drop toehold. The grapple on the mat for a bit and Punk takes control, driving a few MMA-style knees to Burke's back. Burke takes him down with a single leg, but misses an elbowdrop. Punk lays in some kicks, but Burke cuts him off with a kneelift. Burke ...

FOR : They're digging The Cutting Edge out of mothballs? AGAINST : The hell? Didn't Chimel say this was a tag match? AGAINST : I'm not a fan of the alternating introductions here. FOR : JBL: "I think Miz is used to people hating him. Look at him." AGAINST : Matt calling out spots. FOR : MVP coaching from the corner. "Pull him out!" AGAINST : Hornswaggle/Little Boogeyman tonight? FOR : Michelle's rolling leg scissors cradle. FOR : Cole on Jillian's shrieking: "Sounds like you on commentary." AGAINST : Is JBL talking about sonic boom cannons? FOR : Jillian's cartwheel legdrop. FOR: Ashley! FOR : I am Ashley's passive-aggressive revenge? FOR: JBL: "Koko B. Ware would look like Andre the Giant in this match." AGAINST : Saw that coming. AGAINST : Those worms are a foreign object! Ring the bell, ref! FOR: WTF GREEN MIST. JBL: "Maybe he's a nephew of Muta." FOR : Cole: "That was a tadpole splash!...

-Opening montage opens the show. Nutty! -Tonight, CM Punk and Rob Van Dam square off with Elijah Burke and Marcus Cor Van. Some other stuff, too, I assume. Snitsky v. Tommy Dreamer - Snitsky mauls Dreamer, posting him shoulderfirst in the corner. He actually works the arm a bit, but quickly goes back to simple clubberin', to quote a wise, wise man. Dreamer avoids a big boot and Snitsky crotches himself on the top rope. Dreamer kicks away at his thigh and crops him to his knees with a dropkick. He DDTs Snitsky, but can only get two. Dreamer heads up top, but leaps into a stiff clothesline. Big boot by Snitsky and that's that. Postmatch, Snitsky continues the beatdown. He grabs a chair, but RVD runs out and connects with a springboard Van Daminator. -Clips of the ECW Title match at Judgment Day. Bobby Lashley picks up the win, but not over Vince McMahon. You don't beat the champ, you don't get the belt. So sez Vince, at any rate. -Commercials -K² and crew are out to intro...

-We open with clips from Raw, focusing on the Lashley/McMahon situation. Shane's "I'm not touching you!" shtick never gets old. Ever. At any rate, poor Coach gets his shit fucked up by Lashley. The heels try to do the same to Lashley, but he's all LASHLEY SMASH. Vince gets while the getting is good. Lashley starts to give chase, but Shane cuts him off. Now it's his turn to run for his life. He dives through the sunroof of the limo and makes his escape. Show over, right? Wrong. Lashley turns and WHAM, Vince lays him out with a belt shot. -Speaking of Vince, he joins us via satellite. Smart move, since he broke that little "no touch" rule. He talks for awhile, but essentially says nothing. He does set up Lashley versus all three members of the New Breed as tonight's main event, though. -Opening montage. -Rob Van Dam gets his intro in before we go to break… -Commercials Rob Van Dam v. Snitsky - Even versus RVD, we get the typical Snitsky match. He s...

AGAINST : Slow down, JBL. FOR: Edge is pretty much right about everything. FOR: Teddy stacking the deck. AGAINST: How are London and Kendrick the underdogs? FOR: Thank you, JBL. FOR: JBL: "I once knew a great champion who used to do that move a lot." AGAINST: Suboptimal shove by Regal. AGAINST : Did we need to announce the "because of outside interference"? FOR: The entire aftermath. FOR : Edge chasing Hornswaggle through backstage. AGAINST : That didn't go nearly long enough. FOR : "Jill-a-tonic" is secretly an awesome name for a really bad pop song. FOR : JBL: "No. We're not ready." FOR : Cole: "I never though I'd say this, but thank goodness for the Boogeyman." FOR : Jillian remembered! Awesome. AGAINST : Michelle? I was expecting Little Boogeyman. (I'm also not a fan of that shopping bag she's wearing but that doesn't really deserve its own point.) FOR : Oh. AGAINST : I don't like where this i...

FOR : Edge got into the opening quick. FOR : Matt's not impressed. FOR : This match so far. AGAINST : I don't want to be Matt's head right now. AGAINST : Did the camera miss MVP putting his feet on the ropes on the cover? AGAINST : Matt ducked? I thought it was a blown spot. FOR : The "Undertaker gets carried out of the ring by the druids" footage. AGAINST : What, no car? AGAINST : What's with the bandanna over London's mouth? FOR : London and Kendrick's double jumping armdrag. FOR : Has the London/Kendrick/Yang team ever lost a six-man tag? I'm not sure they have. AGAINST : Why are we running comeback vignettes after the come- FOR : Oh. AGAINST : I see they've recycled the old Monty Brown promos. AGAINST : Poor Funaki. Hasn't been seen in months and now this. FOR : Cole and JBL's "brick wall" exchange. FOR : Benoit/Finlay! FOR : Benoit looking at the ropes then going for the counter. FOR : This match, but you knew that. AG...

I'm back. With ECW. Again. Good God, what's wrong with me? I just can't give it up. Well, actually, I give it up fairly often. Because if you want consistency with a recap, I'm not the guy whose door you knock on. Go me! -Earlier in the day, Bobby Lashley arrived at the arena. Armando Alejandro Estrada was waiting, along with a cadre of police officers. As per Vince's orders, Lashley's services won't be needed tonight. In fact, he's not allowed in the building at all! And if he lays a finger on Estrada, you can be sure that charges will be pressed. Lashley considers this for a few seconds, then shoves Estrada's wheelchair down an incline and into a giant pile of trash. He seems happy to let the cops arrest him… -Opening montage. -Tonight, Rob Van Dam gets his shot at the ECW title, facing Shane McMahon, Umaga and the champ himself, Vince McMahon. CM Punk v. Marcus Cor Van (w/Elijah Burke) - There's a crawl on the bottom of the screen to indicate ...