ECW Hardcore TV - 3.12.96

I haven't written anything in a while. Mostly because I'm not sure what to recap these days. TNA doesn't interest me much. Writing about it, at any rate. WWE b-shows are dead to me and my shitty 'net connection. The regular shows are two hours long and in recent years, I've pretty well shown that I can't consistently work on a two hour show without skipping every other week (not to mention that Matt and Butch have them locked down with much more interesting content than I'd ever provide). I watch a ton of indy wrestling, but I'm not sure if anyone is interested in reading about them (feel free to chime in if that's not the case, though). Not to mention that even longer shows lead to even longer recaps.

So...yeah. I decided to go back to ECW. The old stand-by. I was a pretty big fan back in the day, going as far as to say that it turned me from a wrestling fan to the super geeky tape collector dude I am today. Might be fun to go back and re-live some of that. Of course, a lot of the product didn't age well at all. But even the crap is pretty entertaining, so there you go. I just randomly picked out a tape and decided I'd do all of the TV from that point forward.

-Joey Styles opens the show. We're in Queens, apparently. He brings out Shane Douglas. Cut to a shot of Brian Pillman sitting in the crowd. This isn't too long after Douglas had returned to ECW after the run as Dean Douglas in the WWF. First words out of his mouth on this fine night? "Shawn Michaels...kiss my ass." He talks for a bit as we see Pillman flipping out at ringside. Douglas is pissed at the interruption. They eventually go face to face at ringside. Douglas gives him two options. Jump the rail and fight like a man, or Douglas will drag him over the rail and show him what "Extreme" is all about.

He gives Pillman a count of three to decide. Pillman responds by getting into his face and acting CRAZY. Pillman was the man. Douglas reaches three and rears back for a punch, but Pillman pulls a woman and small child in front of him. He stands behind them and taunts Douglas. He tells him to quit, just like he did WCW, the Dynamic Dudes and the WWF. Pillman says that he's a real man. He doesn't quit...he gets thrown out of town. He slaps Douglas, who starts to swing a chair, not caring about Pillman's shields. Styles manages to snatch it away. Security escorts Pillman out and hold Douglas back. This is an insanely hot angle.

Tod Gordon comes out and asks security to take Douglas to the back. They argue for a bit, but Douglas heads to the back. Not before looking into the camera, calling Ted Turner a "piece of shit," and promising to kick his ass, though. Heh. You always know what you're gonna get from the Franchise. Bill Alfonso walks past Douglas as he leaves. He talks shit to Gordon and slaps him. Gordon charges and we have ourselves a brawl! Taz runs out and tosses Gordon down. He hands Fonzie a chair. Fonzie nails Gordon a few times, but Bam Bam Bigelow makes the save. Taz nails him with the chair, but it has no effect. Taz and Fonzie bail...

-We're like fifteen minutes into the show and they finally air the opening montage. I was always waiting for them to do a show where the opening montage was the last thing they showed before the show went off the air. This is why I should be booking for some random wrestling company!

The Headhunters (w/Damien Kane & Lady Alexandra) v. The Dudley Boyz (w/Sign Guy and Big Dick Dudley) -

Back in the day, one of the old RF Video updates described the Headhunters as being Abdullah the Butcher and Jushin Liger teaming up and for ages, I thought that was literal. I was geeked when I finally picked up a tape with them on it because the thought of an Abby/Liger team is enough to BLOW MY MIND. And this was a few years before I was online, so it's not like I could have tracked down pics of them or whatever. I was sad when I saw them. Then they started flying around the ring like Juniors and I was geeked once more. They also had two separate runs in the WWF that amounted to all of five minutes. Awesome.

Dudz are comprised of Bubba and D.W. (Dances With) tonight. D-Von won't arrive in ECW for a few more months, if I have the timeframe correct. And it'll be another year before he and Bubba team regularly. At this point, Bubba is still the lovable, stuttering idiot. Damien Kane cuts off his prematch shtick and everyone brawls. Headhunter #1 (like I can tell them apart) clotheslines Bubba over the top. Double clothesline to D.W. Bubba is distracted by Alexandra at ringside, allowing Kane to nail him with a chair.

Bubba grabs the chair and starts whaling on Kane, but #2 jumps him from behind. He delivers a chairshot and whips Bubba into the post. Back in the ring, D.W. dropkicks #1, which barely even staggers him. None of his offense has any effect at all. #2 rolls back in and they hit a double headbutt on D.W. Headhunter #2 sits him up top...superplex! Big elbow off the top by #1! Bubba sneaks into the ring and quickly rolls up #1 for the fall! Postmatch, the Headhunters kill the Dudz, including a moonsault onto D.W.

-Fonzie/Taz promo. Fonzie is pissed at Bigelow for losing to Lawrence Taylor at Wrestlemania, which cost him a ton of money. Taz, however, is happy to see him. At least he'll have someone around to choke out, unlike that "chickenshit," 911. Fonzie closes the interview by asking Bigelow why, if he couldn't beat LT, does he think he can take down Taz?

-Back to the ring, where Damien Kane is still holding court. He issues an open challenge. Uh oh. Styles points out that open challenges in ECW are likely to lead to getting your ass kicked. And on cue, "Natural Born Killaz" starts playing. Mustapha Saed hits the ring alone. Styles tells us that New Jack is in jail. Headhunters killify Mustapha, but I'll be damned...it's New Jack! He fucks some shit up, as he's wont to do. Both teams continue to brawl as we go to break.

-Gangstas promo. New Jack wonders if the Headhunters were surprised to see him and says that he made bail. Oh, that crazy New Jack!

Chris Jericho v. Cactus Jack -

This is Jack's next to last match before leaving for the WWF. He's introduced as being from "Stamford, CT...the most hardcore place known to all mankind." We clip forward to Stevie Richards and Meanie in the ring, offering Jack a present. They're kindly allowing him to be the third Fabulous One for the night, which gives him leave to do the Fabulous Fargo Strut! Huzzah! Cactus grabs the mic and does the "luckiest man on the face of the Earth," bit and a-strutting we will go! Group hug doesn't go over with Jericho, who dropkicks Stevie in the back. He collides with Meanie and the Fabs bump to the floor. I guess it's go time

Jack takes control at the start. He misses a legdrop, though, allowing Jericho to come back with a dropkick. Jack confers with Stevie. He catches Jericho with a series of forearms and goes for a clothesline. Jericho ducks it, slides between his legs and takes him over with a monkey flip. A dropkick sends Cactus rolling to the floor. Back in the ring, he reverses a whip, sending Jericho into the corner. He follows with a clothesline. To the opposite corner we go, but this time no one's home for the clothesline.

Jericho dropkicks Cactus in the back, sending him onto the apron. He follows up with his springboard dropkick out of the corner and Jack bumps to the floor. Jericho crotches him on the rail and catches him with a spin kick. Fabs go for a double clothesline, but Jericho ducks it and starts whaling on both of them. On the apron, both Jericho and Cactus are battling for a suplex. Jack eventually elevates Jericho onto the apron. He charges, but Jericho drops to the floor and Cactus eats the post.

Jericho goes for a dive off of the apron, but Cactus catches him with a clothesline. He nails him with a couple of chairshots, then snaps his throat across the top rope. He pulls Jericho in and follows up with a pair of shortarm knees to the gut. He chokes him in the ropes for a bit, then splashes him for a nearfall. He ties Jericho to the Tree of Woe and drops a running elbow to the face. Baseball slide dropkick sends Jericho out.

Jack tosses him over the rail and into the crowd. He suplexes Jericho on the floor, and Jericho *nails* his leg on the railing. Seriously, he's lucky he didn't snap his ankle in half. Jericho is up, selling the leg. Cactus rolls him in and drops a leg for two. He places a chair over Jericho's face and climbs to the second rope. Jericho is up! He wings the chair into Jack's face and takes him over with a rana!

They trade punches and Jericho nails him with an enzuigiri. He drops an elbow and picks up a nearfall. Top rope splash gets another two count. He sends Jack into the ropes, but ducks his head a bit too early. Piledriver by Cactus. He follows with the Cactus clothesline, dumping both to the floor.

He reprises his match with Mil Mascaras at Clash X, I think, springboarding off of the bottom rope and going for a back elbow, but instead destroying himself against the rail. That was the first huge bump I ever saw him take (I'd seen him in Texas and he'd do stupid shit then as well, but this was just suicidal) and pretty much the point when I became a fan as well. Coincidence? Prolly not.

Jericho is up first. He gives Cactus a back suplex on the floor. He charges, but Jack drops him throat first across the rail. He climbs onto the apron...hipbuster elbow connects! He rolls Jericho back into the ring. He hits another piledriver, but Jericho is out at two. Cactus lifts him for a powerbomb (!!), but Jericho slips away. German suplex (w/bridge). 1-2-3! Jericho wins!

Excellent match. Jericho had something to prove (I believe this was Jericho's ECW TV debut) and Cactus was busting his ass even more so than usual because he was leaving. I'm not saying it was a classic or anything, but definitely a fun TV match, even in ECW where you'd get fun TV matches almost weekly.

Taz (w/Bill Alfonso) v. Mikey Whipwreck -

Taz goes into bully mode immediately, backing Mikey into the ropes and smacking him in the face. Mikey isn't impressed, doing the same right back to Taz. But yeah...he's gonna die now. Taz reverses an armbar and takes Mikey over with a Northern Lights suplex for two. Mikey grabs a rear waistlock, but Taz tosses him with an Ogoshi (it's a judo hip throw). He goes for a German suplex, but Mikey reverses, dropping him with a back suplex instead.

Taz rolls to the floor and Mikey catches him with a baseball slide dropkick. He follows with a pescado, then rolls Taz back in. He goes for a whip, but Taz reverses. He goes for a chokeslam, but Mikey counters with a dropkick. He whips Taz into the corner, but misses a splash. Taz then tosses him over the top with an overhead belly to belly suplex. He pulls Mikey in and goes for a whip.

Mikey reverses it, but Taz hooks him for a T-Bone suplex. Mikey slips away, rolling him up for a nearfall. He gets a bit cocky, hooking Taz for a Hardway suplex. He breaks it and nails Mikey, who manages to get in a low blow as he falls. Mikey heads up top. Taz avoids his crossbody. He kills Mikey with a head and arm suplex, then finishes him with the Tazmission.

Postmatch, Taz refuses to break the hold. Bigelow hits the ring and Taz bails. Fonzie, however, does not. Bigelow presses him, but that allows Taz to sneak in and clip his knee. Tazmission on Bigelow. El Puerto Ricano and Damien Stone (AKA Little Guido) run out, but Fonzie takes them out with chairshots. Tells you their position in the company at that point. Bad Crew run out and Fonzie whales on them as well. Taz finally releases the hold and celebrates as we fade out...

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