Raw In 90 Seconds
Alter Bridge: ON THIS DAY I SEE CLEARLY...
Crowd: You suck!
Kurt Angle: HA!
Edge: Y'all forgot I read the 'Net, huh? Flair? Pfft.
Crowd: We want Flair! We want Flair!
A Man At A Ranch In Montana, Looking Up From Dying His Hair: Why did I just have deja vu?
Edge: shoutout to Mr. Perfect Cena? QUINTUPLE Pfft. That's right, quintuple. If you're wondering what I'm doing with my championship money, I'm recreating Quagmire's bedroom.
Cena: sup. Foley pop.
Crowd: That's OUR town! Huzzah!
Cena: Your quote unquote girl? Ain't nuthin' but a hoochie mama. Say what?
Crowd: HOODRAT HOODRAT HOOCHIE MAMA!
Lita: I'm beginning to see Tipper Gore's point. You're just jealous I don't let you.
Cena: Whatever. REVENGE!
Stacy: Hi!
Kane: KABOOM
Tag Belt: At least the IC belt gets time to complain. What about me?! Am I somehow less worthy because
Last Week: Here's why.
Carlito: stick and move
Kane: stick
Carlito: DROPKICK!
Kane: Please.
Carlito: Stay down!
Kane: Nah.
Carlito: Tornado DDT!
Kane: Hmm.
Carlito: Springboard corkscrew senton bomb!
Kane: Really?
Carlito: Yes.
Kane: Cool.
Carlito: Dat's right.
Kane: But no.
Carlito: Fine, then. WHAP
Kane: I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL, MOTHERFUCKER.
Carlito: Be-de-be-de that's all folks! flees
Edge: Baby, you know you're the center of my universe. Ever since I met you our love has burned like a desert sunset. Without you, there's no way I'd ever have all the great things our life together has made. That being said, you get in there and you whore it up. I mean, big time.
Lita: does
Big Show: Hey!
Edge: Hey!
Big Show: Hey.
Edge: You in?
Big Show: If I wanted crabs, I'd go to Red Lobster. Which reminds me, get out before I decide to make you my dental floss. I take my time to perfect a beat, and I still got love for the street.
Trish: stretches
Butch: groans audibly
Mickie: Ashley? I thought you liked me?
Trish: Uh...I...
Mickie: ...so it's like that, huh? I live for you, I breathe for you, I hang you in the sky where the stars belong, and that's all you got for me? "Uh....I..." You know what? You know what? That's fine. That's beyond fine. 'Cause I'm done. I'm done getting played.
Trish: Uh, Butch, you're...
Mickie: Yeah, we're like done...
Mickie: ...'cause I'm not about to go out on this limb killing myself just to get a bit of attention for you. I'm done scraping and bowing and making myself a bitch just to try to get in your peripheral vision. You don't want me? That's glorious. I'd actually laugh. I don't want you. You're fake, you're trifling, you're two-faced, and the only games I play are from EA Sports. Don't write me, don't call me, take all the shit I gave you and burn the fuckers, 'cause I'm done. And that's real.
Trish & Mickie: Whoa.
Butch: Yeah, she didn't write me back.
Mickie: Aww! Well, I can go console you, if you want.
Trish: Whoa whoa whoa whoa hold up wait a minute let me put some Canada in it--why do YOU get to console him?
Mickie: Uh, if you can't see the parallels between me and him...you know what...screw it. walks off
Coach: Pittsburgh REPRASENT! I've learned nothing from last year! Rumble, here I comes!
Lawler: Uh...
Coach: What?
Lawler: I wrestle. Gimme.
Coach: ...'kay...
Mean Girls: U N I T Y U N I T Y that's the unity
Face Girls: Nothing bad is about to happen to us!
Ashley: Remember how long it took Christy to learn moves?
Trish: stiff
Victoria: stiff
Butch: Almost there...
Trish: rana
Butch: DING!
Candice: Yoink!
Victoria & Candace: double team
King: Heh heh heh. Double team.
Trish: stiff Who the fiyah! I'M the fiyah!
Ashley: STEAMBOAT
Mickie: Ezekiel 25: 17...ah, fuck it. beats Ashley
Trish: Stop it!
Mickie: NO.
Ashley: Could you stop her, because--
Mick: KICK
Ashley: I realize who I'm dating and everything but could somebody make it so I DON'T GET MY ASS KICKED EVERY FIVE SECONDS! DAMN, y'all!
Black People Everywhere: 24's still on!
Spenser: I'm not surprised, either.
Jack Bauer: Did you just try to swerve me? FUCKS HIM UP OLD SCHOOL Hey, newbie, let me tell you a story called 90 Seconds Ago. 90 seconds ago, some punk tried to get the jump on me. 60 seconds ago, he almost killed me. 55 seconds ago, I shoved the scissors he was about to stab me with in his neck. 50 seconds ago, I pushed those motherfuckers in so hard blood came out his mouth. 45 seconds ago I was walking down the hallway, 20 seconds ago I busted in the door, and 10 seconds ago I put you against the wall to let you know if you don't start crying like a little bitch in 5 seconds, I'm going to kill you in 7. Question?
Spenser: cries like a little bitch
Jack: That's right.
Rudy: mumbo jumbo
Jack Bauer: Oh, you might be Sam but that ain't wise. Hey, Walt? Time to play the Pyramid. Dean Wormer. Marmalard. Neidermayer. YOU.
Vince: ANVIL!
Shelton: wrestles
Shawn: wrestles
Butch: Mmm mmm good.
Shelton: OUTwrestles
Shawn: Grr. History repeats!
Shelton: The FUCK it DOES! WHAP Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this ass-whipping.
Shawn: Comeback!
Shelton: Uh, no. springboard enzuigiri
Butch: OoooooohEEE!
Shawn: points to contract
Shelton: Aww...you know what Kurt Angle taught me? POP UP SUPERPLEX
Shawn: kickout He taught you that?
Shelton: He taught me how to say no. Stinger Splash. T-Bone!
Kruger: T-Bone!
George: Stop it!
Shawn: George has a point. No!
Shelton: Fine. ™ backbreaker.
Shawn: But I blocked your kick!
Shelton: Sure you did. Dragon WHIP!
Priest: The power of Christ compels you.
Shawn: Elbow DROP! warms up the band
Fat Lady: not singing, but in fact interfering
Shelton: wins
Shawn: reverses, cheats, wins
Aaron McGruder: I'd like to say I'm shocked.
Edge: C'mon.
Triple H: Maybe.
Lita: He's so in.
Edge: I know.
Vince: sound and fury signifying nothing sex drugs rock n' roll see previous You in?
Shawn: Nah.
Vince: I will get you for this.
Anvil: Did you forget about me? You could've made him enter #1! He's done it before! Why don't you just fire him, you dumbshit?
Bret: Anvil, are you helping Shawn Michaels?
Anvil: You realize I'm like a Wile E. Coyote anvil and not Jim Neidhart, right?
Bret: Huh. You know you two have the exact same head shape?
Anvil: I've heard.
Male Cheerleaders: We got spirit! Yes, we do! We got spirit! Gregory Helms who?
King: WTF, mates?
Coach: YOINK! rollup
Will Ferrell, Cheri Oteri: Oh, HELL no.
Announcer: In 2006, three men who once found themselves over and tag team champions were sent to jobbing hell for crimes they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from the Heat cell on the Internet to a little bit of face time on Monday night. Today, wanted by wrestlers with a push, Lance Cade, Robert Conway and Gregory Helms survive as JTTS of the new millennium. If you have a guy you want to look dominant, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe YOU could hire...
Crowd: You suck!
Kurt Angle: HA!
Edge: Y'all forgot I read the 'Net, huh? Flair? Pfft.
Crowd: We want Flair! We want Flair!
A Man At A Ranch In Montana, Looking Up From Dying His Hair: Why did I just have deja vu?
Edge: shoutout to Mr. Perfect Cena? QUINTUPLE Pfft. That's right, quintuple. If you're wondering what I'm doing with my championship money, I'm recreating Quagmire's bedroom.
Cena: sup. Foley pop.
Crowd: That's OUR town! Huzzah!
Cena: Your quote unquote girl? Ain't nuthin' but a hoochie mama. Say what?
Crowd: HOODRAT HOODRAT HOOCHIE MAMA!
Lita: I'm beginning to see Tipper Gore's point. You're just jealous I don't let you.
Cena: Whatever. REVENGE!
Stacy: Hi!
Kane: KABOOM
Tag Belt: At least the IC belt gets time to complain. What about me?! Am I somehow less worthy because
Last Week: Here's why.
Carlito: stick and move
Kane: stick
Carlito: DROPKICK!
Kane: Please.
Carlito: Stay down!
Kane: Nah.
Carlito: Tornado DDT!
Kane: Hmm.
Carlito: Springboard corkscrew senton bomb!
Kane: Really?
Carlito: Yes.
Kane: Cool.
Carlito: Dat's right.
Kane: But no.
Carlito: Fine, then. WHAP
Kane: I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL, MOTHERFUCKER.
Carlito: Be-de-be-de that's all folks! flees
Edge: Baby, you know you're the center of my universe. Ever since I met you our love has burned like a desert sunset. Without you, there's no way I'd ever have all the great things our life together has made. That being said, you get in there and you whore it up. I mean, big time.
Lita: does
Big Show: Hey!
Edge: Hey!
Big Show: Hey.
Edge: You in?
Big Show: If I wanted crabs, I'd go to Red Lobster. Which reminds me, get out before I decide to make you my dental floss. I take my time to perfect a beat, and I still got love for the street.
Trish: stretches
Butch: groans audibly
Mickie: Ashley? I thought you liked me?
Trish: Uh...I...
Mickie: ...so it's like that, huh? I live for you, I breathe for you, I hang you in the sky where the stars belong, and that's all you got for me? "Uh....I..." You know what? You know what? That's fine. That's beyond fine. 'Cause I'm done. I'm done getting played.
Trish: Uh, Butch, you're...
Mickie: Yeah, we're like done...
Mickie: ...'cause I'm not about to go out on this limb killing myself just to get a bit of attention for you. I'm done scraping and bowing and making myself a bitch just to try to get in your peripheral vision. You don't want me? That's glorious. I'd actually laugh. I don't want you. You're fake, you're trifling, you're two-faced, and the only games I play are from EA Sports. Don't write me, don't call me, take all the shit I gave you and burn the fuckers, 'cause I'm done. And that's real.
Trish & Mickie: Whoa.
Butch: Yeah, she didn't write me back.
Mickie: Aww! Well, I can go console you, if you want.
Trish: Whoa whoa whoa whoa hold up wait a minute let me put some Canada in it--why do YOU get to console him?
Mickie: Uh, if you can't see the parallels between me and him...you know what...screw it. walks off
Coach: Pittsburgh REPRASENT! I've learned nothing from last year! Rumble, here I comes!
Lawler: Uh...
Coach: What?
Lawler: I wrestle. Gimme.
Coach: ...'kay...
Mean Girls: U N I T Y U N I T Y that's the unity
Face Girls: Nothing bad is about to happen to us!
Ashley: Remember how long it took Christy to learn moves?
Trish: stiff
Victoria: stiff
Butch: Almost there...
Trish: rana
Butch: DING!
Candice: Yoink!
Victoria & Candace: double team
King: Heh heh heh. Double team.
Trish: stiff Who the fiyah! I'M the fiyah!
Ashley: STEAMBOAT
Mickie: Ezekiel 25: 17...ah, fuck it. beats Ashley
Trish: Stop it!
Mickie: NO.
Ashley: Could you stop her, because--
Mick: KICK
Ashley: I realize who I'm dating and everything but could somebody make it so I DON'T GET MY ASS KICKED EVERY FIVE SECONDS! DAMN, y'all!
Black People Everywhere: 24's still on!
Spenser: I'm not surprised, either.
Jack Bauer: Did you just try to swerve me? FUCKS HIM UP OLD SCHOOL Hey, newbie, let me tell you a story called 90 Seconds Ago. 90 seconds ago, some punk tried to get the jump on me. 60 seconds ago, he almost killed me. 55 seconds ago, I shoved the scissors he was about to stab me with in his neck. 50 seconds ago, I pushed those motherfuckers in so hard blood came out his mouth. 45 seconds ago I was walking down the hallway, 20 seconds ago I busted in the door, and 10 seconds ago I put you against the wall to let you know if you don't start crying like a little bitch in 5 seconds, I'm going to kill you in 7. Question?
Spenser: cries like a little bitch
Jack: That's right.
Rudy: mumbo jumbo
Jack Bauer: Oh, you might be Sam but that ain't wise. Hey, Walt? Time to play the Pyramid. Dean Wormer. Marmalard. Neidermayer. YOU.
Vince: ANVIL!
Shelton: wrestles
Shawn: wrestles
Butch: Mmm mmm good.
Shelton: OUTwrestles
Shawn: Grr. History repeats!
Shelton: The FUCK it DOES! WHAP Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this ass-whipping.
Shawn: Comeback!
Shelton: Uh, no. springboard enzuigiri
Butch: OoooooohEEE!
Shawn: points to contract
Shelton: Aww...you know what Kurt Angle taught me? POP UP SUPERPLEX
Shawn: kickout He taught you that?
Shelton: He taught me how to say no. Stinger Splash. T-Bone!
Kruger: T-Bone!
George: Stop it!
Shawn: George has a point. No!
Shelton: Fine. ™ backbreaker.
Shawn: But I blocked your kick!
Shelton: Sure you did. Dragon WHIP!
Priest: The power of Christ compels you.
Shawn: Elbow DROP! warms up the band
Fat Lady: not singing, but in fact interfering
Shelton: wins
Shawn: reverses, cheats, wins
Aaron McGruder: I'd like to say I'm shocked.
Edge: C'mon.
Triple H: Maybe.
Lita: He's so in.
Edge: I know.
Vince: sound and fury signifying nothing sex drugs rock n' roll see previous You in?
Shawn: Nah.
Vince: I will get you for this.
Anvil: Did you forget about me? You could've made him enter #1! He's done it before! Why don't you just fire him, you dumbshit?
Bret: Anvil, are you helping Shawn Michaels?
Anvil: You realize I'm like a Wile E. Coyote anvil and not Jim Neidhart, right?
Bret: Huh. You know you two have the exact same head shape?
Anvil: I've heard.
Male Cheerleaders: We got spirit! Yes, we do! We got spirit! Gregory Helms who?
King: WTF, mates?
Coach: YOINK! rollup
Will Ferrell, Cheri Oteri: Oh, HELL no.
Announcer: In 2006, three men who once found themselves over and tag team champions were sent to jobbing hell for crimes they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from the Heat cell on the Internet to a little bit of face time on Monday night. Today, wanted by wrestlers with a push, Lance Cade, Robert Conway and Gregory Helms survive as JTTS of the new millennium. If you have a guy you want to look dominant, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe YOU could hire...
...the B-Team.
Big Show: SQUASH
Triple H: Baby seals suck! All your Rumble is belong to me.
Masters: Surprise!
Flair: Yeah, that's comprable.
Edge: Maybe I should've tried harder.
Flair: WHOO!
Everybody: WHOO!
Cena & Masters: stuff
Everybody: WE WANT FLAIR!
Flair: 'K. chops Who's house?
Everybody: Ric's house!
Masters: I despise you all.
Edge: Why don't you die already?
Masters: rest hold
Edge: Stupid Flakes!
Flair: FLOP
Tags: Hot.
Edge: Gone!
Flair: chop block
Cena: FU. STF. Check, please.
Formula: sup.
Triple H: Baby seals suck! All your Rumble is belong to me.
Masters: Surprise!
Flair: Yeah, that's comprable.
Edge: Maybe I should've tried harder.
Flair: WHOO!
Everybody: WHOO!
Cena & Masters: stuff
Everybody: WE WANT FLAIR!
Flair: 'K. chops Who's house?
Everybody: Ric's house!
Masters: I despise you all.
Edge: Why don't you die already?
Masters: rest hold
Edge: Stupid Flakes!
Flair: FLOP
Tags: Hot.
Edge: Gone!
Flair: chop block
Cena: FU. STF. Check, please.
Formula: sup.
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