Heart Punch

-Tonight, Big Show defends the ECW Title against Kane. Ooh! They should bring in Kamala next week. Is Boogeyman ready to come back yet? Maybe Papa Shango can make his triumphant return. Or get a bit goofy and bring in Rasta the Voodoo Man. Or old school and give us the Missing Link! Wrestling needs more freaks, by god! -Opening Montage. -Mike Knox is in the ring with Kelly². He shows a montage of her dancing, but says that she'll never get nekkid in public again. Well really...what other talent does she have? You're robbing her of her destiny, you soulless cretin. He shows clips of Sandman caning her and lets her know that he didn't abandon her. He actually ran to the back to get the EMTs. I withdraw my cretin comment. He's obviously a gentleman, if not a scholar. Mike Knox (w/K²) v. Sandman - Ref takes the cane from Sandman, so I guess this isn't Extreme Rules. Knox attacks, pounding Sandman down. He fires back, hitting a Russian legsweep. Sandman rolls to the floo...

Voice of Not Zach de la Rocha: Are you ready? Crowd: YES! VoNZdlR: Cool. BREAK IT DOWN! Shawn: Hey, everybody! Going solo this week. Semi-shoot, semi-shoot, semi-shoot! Coach: Un momento there, flyboy. Tom Jones: IT'S NOT UNUUUUUUUSUAL TO BE LOVED BY ANYONE... Shawn: snark snark snark 4 numbers FOR YA! Crowd: 1997! Coach: You wrestle. Shawn: The cheerleaders. Coach: No, me. ME?! WTF, Vince?! Shawn: blinks Shawn: blinks Shawn: blinks Shawn: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Spirit Squad: 2, 4, 6, 8, this asskicking's going to be great! Highlanders: Hongi! Crowd: Hongi? Highlanders: Oh, right. Hongi in a Scottish accent! Squad: Dominance! Shawn: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Highlanders: Hot tag! Finish him! Squad: Distraction measures! pummel Rory & Roby Christopher Daniels: That was fucking horrible. Squad: WIN Yeaaaaaaaaaaa! Sound the airhorn! do so Mick Foley: Hey, Granpa Munster--get some insight f...

FOR: Some things just aren't meant to happen, like Mark Henry vs. Batista. It's a sign from God, folks... it's a sign from God. KENNEDY? FOR: Kennedy using his own mic. FOR: Kennedy getting into the ready stance. FOR: Kash's sliding dropkick. FOR: JBL dropping Zero-One? FOR: Kash twisting Kendrick's knee around the bottom rope. AGAINST: That New Blackjacks tangent. FOR: JBL taking exception to Cole's "tax evasion" followup. FOR: The snapmare into the ropes. AGAINST: Wasn't this match supposed to happen last week? AGAINST: Michelle's weak-ass shove. AGAINST: Ashley's blue(?) hair extensions? Is that what those are? Is it a scarf? What's going on? FOR: Kristal: "TAKE HER HEAD OFF!!" So much anger. FOR: Jillian setting up the bra and panties match by ripping Kristal's top off to break up the pinfall. AGAINST: Kristal didn't have any problem showing her stuff when she was a face. AGAINST: Who thought i...

Okay...I'm reevaluating my view on this show starting this week. It was silly and rather naive of me to expect anything resembling what ECW used to be matchwise and certainly not what the company represented at the time. In the end, this is wrestling and therefore I enjoy it. So I'm officially dumping the baggage and taking this as, "just another wrestling show." There's still plenty to bitch about, but I'm not going to go into the shows looking to do so. -We open with clips from SNME showing Big Show and The Great Khali delivering a double chokeslam to Undertaker. I will be recapping SNME, by the way. Just need the free time to do so. -Opening montage. I find it interesting to see what "original" ECW clips they choose to use, like Dreamer going through a billion tables, for instance. -Kelly's Exposé. I'll be damned if she's not looking kinda cute tonight. Knox comes out and drags her to the ring. He shows her clips from last week's s...

AGAINST: The Power Isn't Back anymore? FOR: There's an awful lot of Kristal in the credits. FOR: The throne~~~~~ with pyro~~~~~ FOR: Regal's scroll~~~~~ FOR: Showing the WWE.com exclusive beatdown footage. FOR: The greatest thing (of the many great things) about the King Booker act is it's completely different from anything he's ever done. FOR: Nice to see Kennedy doesn't discriminate in favor of the backup ring announcer, either. FOR: Matt cutting off Kennedy's intro. Well, they'll be meeting at the Bash. AGAINST: I would hope Matt's over the Lita thing by now, JBL. FOR: Matt reversing the whip and selling the work on the left arm afterwards. FOR: The Twist Of Fate reversal. FOR: Kennedy trying to steal the Twist of Fate. They have to meet at the Bash now, right? FOR: Kennedy's premature celebration. FOR: JBL: "Be a man! Be a competitor!" Cole: "Oh, that's right, you've never done that in your career....

Oh man...I'm starting to post as much as some sad sack emo kid going through a breakup. 74% less cutting, though. Anyway, this has been sitting half done for weeks now. Couldn't bring myself to type up the main event because my notes were crazy long. But I'm a rare combination of being bored *and* in a decent mood tonight, so here you go. -Joey Styles opens the show with his co-hosts. Shane Douglas and Francine. This is the period where Douglas was really banged up and didn't wrestle for like six months. Which is fine, except that Heyman chose to keep the ECW Title on him as to not "break" the lineage. Really handicapped the company throughout the summer of '98. Also lead to the creation of Taz's FTW title, which is an angle probably better left undiscussed. -Taped 8.20.98, from the Lost Battalion Hall in Queens, NY. -Chris Candido comes out. As does Tammy Sytch, looking ridiculously hot. Candido grabs a mic, saying that he knows everyone has come to s...

I don't typically post indy NEWZ all that much, but these shows look absolutely stacked and if I can in any way influence someone to check them out, then I've done my good deed for the day. Night 1 (9.1.06) Colt Cabana v. Disco Machine El Generico v. Delirious CIMA v. M-Dogg 20 "Mr. Wrestling" Kevin Steen v. Quicksilver Mark Briscoe v. Matt Sydal Chris Sabin v. Roderick Strong Night 2 (9.2.06) Davey Richards v. TJ "Puma" Perkins Alex Koslov v. Jay Briscoe Jack Evans v. Claudio Castagnoli Genki Horiguchi v. Chris Hero Super Dragon v. Necro Butcher Scorpio Sky v. Frankie Kazarian Tournament wraps up 9.3.06 Also scheduled to appear in some capacity: PWG Champion Joey Ryan, Arrogance (Scott Lost & Chris Bosh), B-Boy, Excalibur, Top Gun Talwar, Human Tornado, Dino Winwood and a cast of thousands. Holy shit, will Dragon/Necro ever rock the casbah. There's a dream match for you. One of them might seriously leave in a bodybag. I'd wonder what the match w...

-We open with clips from last week's show. If you read blog posts in order, that would be the recap below this one. So go read that first. If you just can't bring yourself to do so, I'll spoil it and say that Big Show is YOUR new ECW Champion. He sure as hell ain't mine, though. For historical purposes, let's note that he's the first guy to ever hold the WCW, WWE & ECW titles. And really, who deserves it more? -Opening montage. -Later tonight, Show defends the belt versus...Ric Flair? I need to start watching Raw live, because this show makes even less sense when you don't. At any rate, I see no reason why a main event from Nitro 10 years ago shouldn't main event an ECW show in 2006. No reason at all. -Heyman comes out with two riot cops. He didn't screw Rob Van Dam. We did. It's our fault that Heyman has to suspend him for thirty days. We're pushing him too hard and making him burn himself out. Essentially, Heyman is now forced to save h...

Sorry this took so long. I'm a lazy git. What else can I say? I'm in the process of typing up this week's show as I post this, so I GUARANTEE that you'll see it today. If you don't, I'll allow rabid dogs to chew...Josh's face off. -Paul Heyman talks about RVD losing the WWE title to Edge on Raw, but assures us that he's still the ECW Champion. He talks about Van Dam's crazy schedule over the past few weeks. Big Show busts in. Apparently, part of his agreement to jump to ECW was that he gets a title shot. And he wants it...tonight. Heyman's not happy. -Opening montage. -They get Kelly's Expose out of the way early. Huzzah to that. They've given her a last name, by the way. It's Kelly. Because that's all she could remember is my guess. Mike Knox drags her away as usual. Again, this elicits a pop from me. Go Mike Knox! Beat her so she's not even on next week, please. I'm sorry. That was totally harsh. Mike Knox v. Little Guid...

FOR: And we'll be starting tonight's show with the people who actually have a chance to win tonight's battle royal. AGAINST: No Lashley? FOR: JBL selling the importance of this match. FOR: Crazy and Psicosis being eliminated back-to-back so they can continue to beat each other down outside the ring. FOR: The Court selling out Kennedy. FOR: Booker eliminating both Regal and Matt to win. AGAINST: No "WHAT?" chant? AGAINST: Well, that was pointless. AGAINST: You don't interrupt Kennedy's self-introduction. AGAINST: "Jerk of the Month?" WEAK FOR: They've got the ring miked particularly well tonight. AGAINST: Nancy Pelosi? How is that relevant? AGAINST: Super Crazy as a tag team specialist? That's... not actually true. FOR: Psicosis getting involved again. KENNEDY. FOR: I like that Kristal's trying to play both sides. AGAINST: Still, I gotta ask... obsess much? AGAINST: A casket? FOR: "iSILENCIO!"~~~~~~~~~ ...

Wrestling is largely missing the element of HATE these days. Makes an okay match good, a good match great and a great match epic. When did wrestling get so damned complicated? Guy A hates Guy B. He proceeds to beat the everloving shit out of him. Much blood is spilled and the crowd goes home happy. Not so hard, is it? So, here's to HATE: Magnum TA v. Tully Blanchard (I Quit Cage Match - Starrcade '85) (Part One - 8:13) (Part Two - 7:20) This is absolutely my favorite match ever. EVER. If you haven't seen it, you really owe yourself to watch this match. It comes as close to perfection as any match I've ever seen. And they don't do it with random flippiness. It's all drama and realism. I *believe* that Magnum legitimately wants to MURDER Tully in a way that wrestling today can't even hope to match. God, what a beautiful match... Roddy Piper v. Greg Valentine (Dog Collar Match - Starrcade '83) (Part One - 9:56) (Part Two - 8:53) I didn't see this match ...

AGAINST: The U.S. Title's on the line in the cage match? AGAINST: Mark Henry taking backhanded credit for Undertaker's absence. It's a reach. FOR: Rey taking the bullet for Chavo. AGAINST: Way to be three minutes late, refs. FOR: My God! A Cruiserweight title match! FOR: JBL: "I'm a freakin' media maven." FOR: The missile dropkick/standing moonsault combo. AGAINST: Why is Helms just standing there? Leave, get involved, do something . Don't just stand there. AGAINST : I like the concept, but isn't "Pit Bulls" already taken? AGAINST : Has the other guy tagged in yet? FOR : Oh, OK. FOR : JBL's rant on Marty's pants. FOR : Diva wannabes. AGAINST : Jesus, Kristal. That may have been the worst heel turn ever. FOR : Lashley's suit. AGAINST : Matt's spastic shoulder shrugs. FOR : The Smack of the Night as the flashback to Finlay's debut against Matt. AGAINST : JBL's thestreet.com plugs. FOR: JBL: "He gave...

Well, this is better late than never, I guess. No excuses. Just too busy with other crap to bother sitting down and writing this. But I always come through in the end. Except when I don't. -The show is opening with a...match this week? That's kooky. Roadkill v. Sabu - Announcers tell us that this contested under "ECW rules." Indicating that the rest of the matches are under WWE rules, I guess. Poor Roadkill doesn't even merit an entrance for this match. Sabu lays in some punches that have no effect. He switches things up quickly, taking Roadkill down with a dropkick to the ankle. He drops an elbow and quickly goes for the Camel Clutch. Roadkill reaches the ropes. Sabu whips him chestfirst into the corner, catching him with a gorgeous springboard tornado DDT on the rebound. That spot will validate this entire hour, no matter how it goes. Sabu sets up a chair in the ring. He goes for the Triple Jump Moonsault, but Roadkill trips him up as he goes by and Sabu crashes...