ECW Hardcore TV (8.26.98)

Oh man...I'm starting to post as much as some sad sack emo kid going through a breakup. 74% less cutting, though. Anyway, this has been sitting half done for weeks now. Couldn't bring myself to type up the main event because my notes were crazy long. But I'm a rare combination of being bored *and* in a decent mood tonight, so here you go.

-Joey Styles opens the show with his co-hosts. Shane Douglas and Francine. This is the period where Douglas was really banged up and didn't wrestle for like six months. Which is fine, except that Heyman chose to keep the ECW Title on him as to not "break" the lineage. Really handicapped the company throughout the summer of '98. Also lead to the creation of Taz's FTW title, which is an angle probably better left undiscussed.

-Taped 8.20.98, from the Lost Battalion Hall in Queens, NY.

-Chris Candido comes out. As does Tammy Sytch, looking ridiculously hot. Candido grabs a mic, saying that he knows everyone has come to see him wrestle his ass off. Tammy disagrees, thinking that everyone actually came to see her ass. Crowd enthusiastically agrees. Speaking of asses, she says, Lance Storm...come on down. She's going to slap his face. And out he comes.

He grabs the mic and tells us that he was the better half of the Candido/Storm team and everyone knew it. On the other hand, the only "better half" of the Candido/Tammy team is Tammy...from the waist down. Oh! She slaps him. Storm attacks Candido, who fires back. Storm bails. Tammy lets everyone know that whether the WWF and ECW like it or not, she's there to stay and she'll run Storm's ass back to Canada.

-Opening montage.

Sal E. Graziano v. Spike Dudley -

This is Sal's ECW debut. Styles is pretty sure that he's going to eat Spike, "then go dizzy and fall down...think about it." Anyway, low blow by Spike followed by an Acid Drop. Spike covers and gets the win in seconds.

I don't typically like the "giant killer" angle, because it's rarely done with any credibility and never seems to get the little guy over as any more than someone able to pick up a fluke win here and there. That said, I think it was done fairly effectively with Spike. He got wins because he was smarter than the people he was facing and the matches were so short that the big guys never had to sell for him. Didn't hurt that the crowd loved Spike and bought into the entire angle as well.

-Commercials

The FBI (Little Guido, Tracy Smothers & Tommy Rich) are in the ring. Enter Sandman hits and the crowd goes nuts. We, however, cut back to the announcers. Douglas runs Sandman down, saying that while Sandman is smoking, he's doing cardio. While Sandman is shooting pool? He's lifting. Sucking down a beer? Well...Francine is suc...Styles cuts him off.

Tracy Smothers (w/FBI) v. Sandman -

Yes! Smothers is about to go all Ultra Mega Mass Homicide on some sumbitches! He's a tweener, man! Anyway, before the match can get going, we see clips from last week's show, where Justin Credible caned the piss out of Sandman. Back to the match. Sandman spits beer on Smothers, who sells it by bumping clear across the ring. Seriously, if you don't like Smothers, you might not even be human. You should get that checked.

-Commercials

They lockup and Smothers armdrags Sandman. He adds a hiptoss as well. Sandman backs him into the corner. Smothers ducks a punch and quickly takes him over with a fireman's carry takedown. Tommy Rich trips Sandman, who rolls to the floor and nails him. Guido charges and gets backdropped on the floor. He rolls back in, but Smothers is waiting. He stomps on Sandman, then sends him into the ropes.

Sandman ducks a clothesline and floors him with a punch. Guido and Rich get the same treatment. Sandman clotheslines Smothers over the top, then hits a pair of baseball slide dropkicks on both Smothers and Rich. Guido, however, avoids it and pounds on him. FBI try to gang up on him, but Sandman ducks out of the way and Smothers ends up hitting Rich by mistake.

Sandman rolls Smothers into the ring and punches away at him. He lifts him for a vertical suplex, dropping him gutfirst across the top rope instead. As Smothers is hanging in the ropes, Sandman hits a slingshot somersault legdrop. Not a pretty one, but I guess it doesn't need to be pretty to be effective. He sits Smothers up top in the corner and takes him over with a 'rana. Lucha Sandman!

He makes the cover, but Rich distracts the ref, allowing Guido to come off the top with an elbow. Smothers covers and gets two. Sandman blocks his strike series and plants him with a backdrop suplex. Really...Sandman has used more moves in this match than he has in every "big" match in his career combined. This is the sort of match that made ECW interesting. At any rate, he covers and picks up a nearfall.

Smothers reverses an Irish whip. Guido nails Sandman as he goes by, allowing Smothers to catch him with a heelkick for two. Sandman ducks a superkick, but Rich blasts him with the Italian flag. Sandman staggers into a dropkick. Smothers covers and gets two. He heads up top, but misses a forearm.

Guido is in, carrying the cane. This won't end well. Sandman ducks a cane shot and DDTs him. Tommy Rich comes in. Sandman ducks a flag shot and DDTs him as well. Smothers has the cane. Sandman ducks...White Russian legsweep! He covers and gets the win.

Postmatch, Jason runs in. Sandman canes him. Chastity (!) is out next. I miss her. She was tremendously hot. Even cuter in person, actually. Anyway, Sandman sets up to piledrive her, but Justin Credible hits the ring and canes him. FBI joins in on the beatdown. Many cane shots follow. Justin seals the deal with That's Incredible. More cane shots, just in case you weren't following along at home.

-Commercials

-Three 6 Mafia video for the song "Hit 'Em." Not sure if this was an ECW exclusive or the actual video that would have been played on MTV and it's like. Looks like the Three 6 Mafia was another ECW innovation! Damn that Vince McMahon for stealing it! *ahem*

-Clips from Heatwave '98. Generally considered one of, if not *the* best PPV ECW ever did. Known mostly for the Awesome/Tanaka stiff fest and the Hayabusa/Shinzaki v. RVD/Sabu match that isn't nearly as good as people remember it being.

Dudley Boys (w/Sign Guy Dudley & Joel Gertner) v. Rob Van Dam & Sabu (w/Bill Alfonso) - ECW Tag Titles

The crowd digs them some RVD. Shane Douglas, however, does not. He thinks RVD is a glory hound and points out that he's the World champ and deserves the accolades that RVD gets. He apparently has a plan, though, which he and Francine are getting ready to set into motion. They leave and we cut to break.

-Commercials

Douglas and Francine head to the ring. He decides to add Candido and Bam Bam Bigelow to the match and make it a 3-Way Dance. The champs (RVD/Sabu) are fine with that and so it goes...

Everyone brawls to start. Bet you weren't expecting that! Sabu and Bubba pair off, as do RVD and Bigelow. Process of elimination would lead me to believe that, somewhere, D-Von and Candido are pounding the snot out of one another. And that somewhere would be in the ring. Crazy! Except that by the time I write that, they're on the floor. Sabu has a chair, but Bubba punches it back into his face.

Back in the ring, Candido chops away at D-Von in the corner. D-Von fires back. Candido shoots him into the ropes. They run a quick leapfrog sequence, ending with D-Von taking Candido over with a backdrop. Sabu and Bubba roll in. Sabu whips him into the corner and hits a springboard leg lariat on the rebound. He follows with a slingshot somersault legdrop He goes for another springboard kick, but Bubba catches him and turns it into a backdrop suplex in one motion. Nifty spot.

On the floor, the Triple Threat double team RVD. In the ring, Sabu reverses a whip and ducks his head. Bubba stops short and plants him with a powerbomb. Sabu rolls out. After a bit more brawling, RVD and Bigelow roll in. Bigelow misses a splash in the corner. Van Dam goes for a 'rana, but gets spiked with a powerbomb for his troubles. Bigelow hoists him for a second, but Van Dam slips away.

Bigelow kicks him in the gut and again tries to lift him for a powerbomb. His knee gives out, though, with RVD falling on top of him. RVD heads up top and connects with a crossbody. Back up top and the Ryder kick sends Bigelow rolling out. Van Dam heads up top yet again, this time diving to the floor with a crossbody! Sabu is in the ring, holding a chair. Triple Jump crossbody onto D-Von on the floor!

In the ring, Candido blasts Bubba with a chair. He tries to dive off of the chair onto Bubba, who catches him and tosses him onto the pile on the floor. Bubba taunts Candido, not knowing that Bigelow is standing behind him. Bubba backs into him and the big guys face off. They take turns going for tackles, but no dice. No one will budge. They back into opposite corners and Bubba mockingly does a Sumo pose.

On the apron, Francine grinds the ref's face into her chest. Girl needs to be spayed. Also needs to eat a sammich. Anyway, the ref stumbles backwards at the touch of a girl and gets sandwiched between the charging fat guys. Bigelow nails Bubba with an enzu-lariat, but there's no ref to count. Triple Threat go for simultaneous backdrop suplexes, but the Dudz counter free.

And...here comes Taz, brutha! Brooklyn Boot to Bubba! T-Bone suplex to D-Von! Lariat to Bigelow! Head and Arm suplex to Candido! He clotheslines Bigelow over the top. Douglas tries to sneak in, but Taz spots him. Douglas backs off, with Taz closing in. Dudz sandwich him with splashes. They go for 3D, but Taz locks Bubba in the Tazmission. Quite possibly the coolest counter I've ever seen.

D-Von celebrates as Bubba is getting choked out inches away. He finally turns and starts stomping on Taz, who won't release the hold. RVD comes in and catches D-Von with a springboard leg lariat. Taz releases the hold and chases Douglas to the back. Bigelow covers Bubba, but Sabu breaks it up with a chair. Candido then comes off the top with a splash on Bubba and the Dudz are eliminated!

Sabu pounds on Candido. Van Dam powerslams him in the corner. Sabu places a chair over him and RVD goes for a split legged moonsault. Candido moves and RVD eats steel. Candido ducks a Van Daminator, but gets shoved into the corner, colliding with the chair. RVD slams him and heads up top. Bigelow cuts him off. Candido superplexes RVD. Sabu stomps Bigelow down.

Triple Threat go for a Rocket Launcher, but no one's home. RVD sweeps Candido's leg as Sabu cuts Bigelow down with a dropkick to the knee. Van Dam heads up top. Five Star frogsplash connects on Candido and Sabu locks him in the Camel Clutch. RVD adds a dropkick. Bigelow breaks it up. Sabu again takes him down with a dropkick to the knee. Sabu and RVD hit Rolling Thunder on Bigelow.

Fonzie slides a table into the ring. RVD hits a pescado onto Candido. In the ring, Sabu dives off the chair, looking for a 'rana. Bigelow catches and powerbombs him. RVD is up top. He dropkicks Bigelow, who staggers toward the table. Sabu comes off the chair and bulldogs him through it. Cover, but Candido breaks with a chairshot. He turns and RVD comes off the top with a Van Daminator to get the win!

Last few minutes were really fun, but when all six guys were in, this was a mess of a match. Not even in that ECW style where the end is somehow more than the sum of the parts, though. This was just lousy any way you look at it.

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