ECW on Sci-Fi (6.27.06)
Well, this is better late than never, I guess. No excuses. Just too busy with other crap to bother sitting down and writing this. But I always come through in the end. Except when I don't.
-The show is opening with a...match this week? That's kooky.
Roadkill v. Sabu -
Announcers tell us that this contested under "ECW rules." Indicating that the rest of the matches are under WWE rules, I guess. Poor Roadkill doesn't even merit an entrance for this match.
Sabu lays in some punches that have no effect. He switches things up quickly, taking Roadkill down with a dropkick to the ankle. He drops an elbow and quickly goes for the Camel Clutch. Roadkill reaches the ropes. Sabu whips him chestfirst into the corner, catching him with a gorgeous springboard tornado DDT on the rebound. That spot will validate this entire hour, no matter how it goes.
Sabu sets up a chair in the ring. He goes for the Triple Jump Moonsault, but Roadkill trips him up as he goes by and Sabu crashes facefirst into the chair. Roadkill covers and gets two. He plants Sabu with the Barn Burner (TKO) for another nearfall. He whips Sabu into the corner, following with a splash. Yep...two count once again. At least he's persistent. He rolls to the floor, digging under the ring for a table.
In the interim, Sabu sets up the chair in the ring. He vaults over the top rope and proceeds to dive pretty much headfirst to the floor. Nice catch, Roadkill. Sabu shakes it off and slides a table into the ring. Roadkill jumps him from behind. They roll back in. Sabu nails Roadkill. He bounces off the ropes, but gets caught in a Dirt Road slam. Cover gets two.
Roadkill pulls him into the corner. Vader splash? Nope. He turns it into an elbowdrop instead. He covers, but Sabu is in the ropes. Roadkill sets up the table and lays Sabu on it. He nails Sabu across the chest with a chair and climbs to the second rope. Sabu tosses the chair, hitting him low.
'Rana by Sabu gets two. He tosses the chair at Roadkill and ends up getting him on the table. Atomic Arabian Facebuster puts him through! He locks the Camel Clutch, but Roadkill won't tap. Sabu nails him with the chair a few times and locks a chair assisted Camel Clutch. This time, Roadkill taps.
This was a fun squash, I guess. It was a bit sloppy and Roadkill probably got in a bit too much offense for what they were trying to accomplish, but we takes what we can get with this show.
-Later, Rob Van Dam faces Kurt Angle.
-Commercials
-The unnamed vampire (Kevin Fertig AKA Mordecai) looks on outside the arena. Oh, wait. To steal a line, the vampire is WALKING. This is some gripping television right here. Someone invite this asshat in already because this is 10 seconds of my life I'll never get back. At least the announcers noticed there was a fucking VAMPIRE prowling around this week.
-Tommy Dreamer calls out Big Show. He comes out and slaughters Dreamer again. Yay. Oh wait no...BOO. If you want to do something with Show, then do it. This shit every week is just a waste and Dreamer could be doing something much more entertaining.
-At this point, my tape cuts out. We had some major storms/flooding early this week and both my power and cable were going on and off quite frequently. It's amazing that this is the only segment that I missed. Anyway, my power blinked here, which caused my cable box to have to reset. So when the show cuts back in, we're in the midst of...
Danny Doring v. Mike Knox (w/Kelly) -
Kelly is allowing some random horny dude in the crowd to take her bra off. Knox puts a stop to that. He nails Doring with a pump kick and plants him with a swinging Flatliner to get the win. Kelly walks out, as her segment is apparently next. Too bad my power didn't go off then.
-Commercials
-Test vignette.
-Kelly's Exposé time. Joy. She dances forever. Christ...she's not even all that cute. Not to mention that she's about as wooden as Pinocchio. Knox eventually drags her off. Making him a face in my world.
-Some fat male stripper comes out. Is this the same guy that was on Raw recently? Anyway, he never gets a name. Doesn't need one as Sandman canes the shit out of him. What a waste of television time. I could have been watching an infomercial and been more entertained than this slop. If this is the new ECW, they can friggin' keep it.
-Heyman chats with RVD about the upcoming three-way match at SNME (haven't watched Raw yet, so I don't know the details). He seems to be vaguely heeling on Van Dam, so we'll see how that turns out. My guess? Stupid. Bring back Sabu. He's the only person worth watching in ECW so far. And well...Test. But he's not officially debuted yet and he's more of a guilty pleasure. But yeah...
-At ringside, Lita and Edge arrive and boot two "fans" out of their seats. Like ECW 2.0 has any fans.
-Commercials
-Tazz interviews Edge. He cracks on Tazz for being short and threatens to choke him out. Don't tease a Tazz comeback that'll never happen. Now they're just playing with me. Fuckers.
Kurt Angle v. Rob Van Dam -
Apparently, if Angle wins, he earns a spot in the match at SNME. *shrugs*
Angle opens the match with some matwork. Essentially, he squashes any attempts Van Dam makes at ANYTHING. This is pretty cool. He lays in a series of Euro. uppercuts. RVD responds with forearms. He whips Angle into the corner and hits his tumbling monkey flip. Then we go back to the mat with Angle again in control. Van Dam finally makes himself some space by kneeing Angle in the face. Simple but quite effective.
Angle shortarms a whip attempt. Van Dam catches his kick, though, turning into his stepover windmill kick, or whatever the hell Styles calls it. He heads up top, but Angle shoves him to the floor. RVD collides with the barricade. That was certainly visually impressive.
-Commercials
We're back on the mat when we come back from break. Angle is grinding out a rear chinlock. RVD hits a jawbreaker to escape. He goes for a whip, but Angle reverses it and takes him over with an overhead belly to belly. He follows with a backbreaker and gets two. Bodyscissors by Angle. They trade nearfalls and Angle switches it to a keylock.
RVD gets to his feet, backing Angle into the corner. He drives a few shoulders into Angle's gut and sends him into the opposite corner. Splash misses. Angle plants him with a German and gets two. Rear chinlock by Angle. RVD elbows free. He ducks a clothesline and nails Angle with a spinning heelkick.
They trade strikes. Angle comes out on top. He whips Van Dam into the corner, but charges into an elbow. RVD hits a springboard kick, then follows with a pair of clotheslines. Angle shoots in, grabs a waistlock and drives RVD into the corner. Van Dam goes for a kick, but Angle catches the leg and turns it into a high cradle suplex. Tazz marks out. So do I.
Angle sets up for the Olympic Slam, but RVD turns it into a sunset flip. Angle rolls through and grabs an anklelock, but RVD kicks him off. Shuttle Loop Buster by Angle. He covers and gets two. Anklelock is, err...locked. Van Dam rolls through and connects with a nice thrust kick. Cover gets two.
RVD heads up top. He goes for the Ryder kick, but Angle catches the leg and turns it into an anklelock. Okay, that was damn cool. RVD gets to the ropes, but Angle won't break. He pulls RVD to the center. RVD again reaches the ropes, yanking himself forward and sending Angle to the floor. RVD quickly rolls him in and hits a slingshot legdrop for a nearfall.
Angle comes back with a quick rollup getting two. He whips RVD into the corner and charges. RVD sidesteps, sending Angle into the corner with a drop toehold. Spin kick connects. Rolling Thunder does not. Angle grabs an anklelock. RVD kicks free, then hits a split legged moonsault for two.
He avoids the Rolling Germans from Angle and hits his flippity floppity mule kick. Or is that Jeff Hardy's move. Who cares? RVD heads up top. Angle pops up and tosses him to the mat. He goes for the Olympic Slam, but RVD counters into a DDT. Five-Star Frogsplash and this one is over. Wow. Didn't expect that.
Didn't like this much when I watched it live. But the second time through doing the recap, I actually dug it. Not sure what that means, other than that I'm an idiot. But that's pretty common knowledge, methinks. At any rate, Angle going all "amateur with an edge" is super fun and I love watching him stretch suckas out like the evil bastid he is.
It's easy to tell just how beaten down he is right now, though. I guess RVD went over clean so he could take some time off. But we've heard that one before, haven't we? For whatever it's worth, RVD is a step or three slower since coming back as well.
-At ringside, Edge feigns leaving. RVD turns his back. Edge sneaks in and spears him. He celebrates as we fade out.
I don't even want to comment on the show as a whole. Or the ECW brand in general, I guess. It's been rather frustrating watching the show and I think things will get worse before they get better. Hopefully CM Punk will show up on my television before too long, though. That'll make me happy for a few weeks, at least.
-The show is opening with a...match this week? That's kooky.
Roadkill v. Sabu -
Announcers tell us that this contested under "ECW rules." Indicating that the rest of the matches are under WWE rules, I guess. Poor Roadkill doesn't even merit an entrance for this match.
Sabu lays in some punches that have no effect. He switches things up quickly, taking Roadkill down with a dropkick to the ankle. He drops an elbow and quickly goes for the Camel Clutch. Roadkill reaches the ropes. Sabu whips him chestfirst into the corner, catching him with a gorgeous springboard tornado DDT on the rebound. That spot will validate this entire hour, no matter how it goes.
Sabu sets up a chair in the ring. He goes for the Triple Jump Moonsault, but Roadkill trips him up as he goes by and Sabu crashes facefirst into the chair. Roadkill covers and gets two. He plants Sabu with the Barn Burner (TKO) for another nearfall. He whips Sabu into the corner, following with a splash. Yep...two count once again. At least he's persistent. He rolls to the floor, digging under the ring for a table.
In the interim, Sabu sets up the chair in the ring. He vaults over the top rope and proceeds to dive pretty much headfirst to the floor. Nice catch, Roadkill. Sabu shakes it off and slides a table into the ring. Roadkill jumps him from behind. They roll back in. Sabu nails Roadkill. He bounces off the ropes, but gets caught in a Dirt Road slam. Cover gets two.
Roadkill pulls him into the corner. Vader splash? Nope. He turns it into an elbowdrop instead. He covers, but Sabu is in the ropes. Roadkill sets up the table and lays Sabu on it. He nails Sabu across the chest with a chair and climbs to the second rope. Sabu tosses the chair, hitting him low.
'Rana by Sabu gets two. He tosses the chair at Roadkill and ends up getting him on the table. Atomic Arabian Facebuster puts him through! He locks the Camel Clutch, but Roadkill won't tap. Sabu nails him with the chair a few times and locks a chair assisted Camel Clutch. This time, Roadkill taps.
This was a fun squash, I guess. It was a bit sloppy and Roadkill probably got in a bit too much offense for what they were trying to accomplish, but we takes what we can get with this show.
-Later, Rob Van Dam faces Kurt Angle.
-Commercials
-The unnamed vampire (Kevin Fertig AKA Mordecai) looks on outside the arena. Oh, wait. To steal a line, the vampire is WALKING. This is some gripping television right here. Someone invite this asshat in already because this is 10 seconds of my life I'll never get back. At least the announcers noticed there was a fucking VAMPIRE prowling around this week.
-Tommy Dreamer calls out Big Show. He comes out and slaughters Dreamer again. Yay. Oh wait no...BOO. If you want to do something with Show, then do it. This shit every week is just a waste and Dreamer could be doing something much more entertaining.
-At this point, my tape cuts out. We had some major storms/flooding early this week and both my power and cable were going on and off quite frequently. It's amazing that this is the only segment that I missed. Anyway, my power blinked here, which caused my cable box to have to reset. So when the show cuts back in, we're in the midst of...
Danny Doring v. Mike Knox (w/Kelly) -
Kelly is allowing some random horny dude in the crowd to take her bra off. Knox puts a stop to that. He nails Doring with a pump kick and plants him with a swinging Flatliner to get the win. Kelly walks out, as her segment is apparently next. Too bad my power didn't go off then.
-Commercials
-Test vignette.
-Kelly's Exposé time. Joy. She dances forever. Christ...she's not even all that cute. Not to mention that she's about as wooden as Pinocchio. Knox eventually drags her off. Making him a face in my world.
-Some fat male stripper comes out. Is this the same guy that was on Raw recently? Anyway, he never gets a name. Doesn't need one as Sandman canes the shit out of him. What a waste of television time. I could have been watching an infomercial and been more entertained than this slop. If this is the new ECW, they can friggin' keep it.
-Heyman chats with RVD about the upcoming three-way match at SNME (haven't watched Raw yet, so I don't know the details). He seems to be vaguely heeling on Van Dam, so we'll see how that turns out. My guess? Stupid. Bring back Sabu. He's the only person worth watching in ECW so far. And well...Test. But he's not officially debuted yet and he's more of a guilty pleasure. But yeah...
-At ringside, Lita and Edge arrive and boot two "fans" out of their seats. Like ECW 2.0 has any fans.
-Commercials
-Tazz interviews Edge. He cracks on Tazz for being short and threatens to choke him out. Don't tease a Tazz comeback that'll never happen. Now they're just playing with me. Fuckers.
Kurt Angle v. Rob Van Dam -
Apparently, if Angle wins, he earns a spot in the match at SNME. *shrugs*
Angle opens the match with some matwork. Essentially, he squashes any attempts Van Dam makes at ANYTHING. This is pretty cool. He lays in a series of Euro. uppercuts. RVD responds with forearms. He whips Angle into the corner and hits his tumbling monkey flip. Then we go back to the mat with Angle again in control. Van Dam finally makes himself some space by kneeing Angle in the face. Simple but quite effective.
Angle shortarms a whip attempt. Van Dam catches his kick, though, turning into his stepover windmill kick, or whatever the hell Styles calls it. He heads up top, but Angle shoves him to the floor. RVD collides with the barricade. That was certainly visually impressive.
-Commercials
We're back on the mat when we come back from break. Angle is grinding out a rear chinlock. RVD hits a jawbreaker to escape. He goes for a whip, but Angle reverses it and takes him over with an overhead belly to belly. He follows with a backbreaker and gets two. Bodyscissors by Angle. They trade nearfalls and Angle switches it to a keylock.
RVD gets to his feet, backing Angle into the corner. He drives a few shoulders into Angle's gut and sends him into the opposite corner. Splash misses. Angle plants him with a German and gets two. Rear chinlock by Angle. RVD elbows free. He ducks a clothesline and nails Angle with a spinning heelkick.
They trade strikes. Angle comes out on top. He whips Van Dam into the corner, but charges into an elbow. RVD hits a springboard kick, then follows with a pair of clotheslines. Angle shoots in, grabs a waistlock and drives RVD into the corner. Van Dam goes for a kick, but Angle catches the leg and turns it into a high cradle suplex. Tazz marks out. So do I.
Angle sets up for the Olympic Slam, but RVD turns it into a sunset flip. Angle rolls through and grabs an anklelock, but RVD kicks him off. Shuttle Loop Buster by Angle. He covers and gets two. Anklelock is, err...locked. Van Dam rolls through and connects with a nice thrust kick. Cover gets two.
RVD heads up top. He goes for the Ryder kick, but Angle catches the leg and turns it into an anklelock. Okay, that was damn cool. RVD gets to the ropes, but Angle won't break. He pulls RVD to the center. RVD again reaches the ropes, yanking himself forward and sending Angle to the floor. RVD quickly rolls him in and hits a slingshot legdrop for a nearfall.
Angle comes back with a quick rollup getting two. He whips RVD into the corner and charges. RVD sidesteps, sending Angle into the corner with a drop toehold. Spin kick connects. Rolling Thunder does not. Angle grabs an anklelock. RVD kicks free, then hits a split legged moonsault for two.
He avoids the Rolling Germans from Angle and hits his flippity floppity mule kick. Or is that Jeff Hardy's move. Who cares? RVD heads up top. Angle pops up and tosses him to the mat. He goes for the Olympic Slam, but RVD counters into a DDT. Five-Star Frogsplash and this one is over. Wow. Didn't expect that.
Didn't like this much when I watched it live. But the second time through doing the recap, I actually dug it. Not sure what that means, other than that I'm an idiot. But that's pretty common knowledge, methinks. At any rate, Angle going all "amateur with an edge" is super fun and I love watching him stretch suckas out like the evil bastid he is.
It's easy to tell just how beaten down he is right now, though. I guess RVD went over clean so he could take some time off. But we've heard that one before, haven't we? For whatever it's worth, RVD is a step or three slower since coming back as well.
-At ringside, Edge feigns leaving. RVD turns his back. Edge sneaks in and spears him. He celebrates as we fade out.
I don't even want to comment on the show as a whole. Or the ECW brand in general, I guess. It's been rather frustrating watching the show and I think things will get worse before they get better. Hopefully CM Punk will show up on my television before too long, though. That'll make me happy for a few weeks, at least.
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