WWE VELOCITY FOR 9/24: IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG FOR US TO GET RESURRECTED LIKE JESUS

Hey. Remember when I used to write for this blog? Yeah, me neither. But that's what happens when real-life interferes.

But I promised I would recap the last broadcast edition of Velocity, so here's the short, short version using a format established by one Mr. Rosser. Enjoy.

VELOCITY FOR 9/24 (TAPED 9/20)

MATCH 1: WILLIAM REGAL/PAUL BURCHILL v. SCOTTY 2 HOTTY/FUNAKI

+: EEEEEEEVIL~~ theme and robe for Regal. Gotta love it.
+: Nice subliminal shout out to the Cat by Josh.
+: Also a nice DeMott-like match breakdown from Josh.
-: When is Scotty going to change his gimmick?
---:To my VCR for almost eating my tape. Or maybe it’s my tape that has become shitty.
+: Damnit, we need a heel push for Regal.
+: Nice job by Burchill to kick the hand away.
+: FUNAKI IS A HOUSE AFAR.
+: Nice double team shoulderbreaker by Regal and Burchill.
+: Arm breaker!

YOUR WINNER VIA SUBMISSION: REGAL/BURCHILL

Not bad. If Burchill can hold his own, they could be a good tag team.

Commercials.

?: It was kinda funny to see Taker in the coffin, but he’s got to put Orton over clean. Or clean for the Undertaker at least.
-: It’s not going to happen in a handicap casket match, though.

MATCH 2: BRIAN KENDRICK v. RUSSELL SIMPSON

+++: SPANKY~~~~
+: Good call by Josh to point out their matchups in Japan. I didn’t know that.
+: Gotta love the flipout of the leglock.
-: Can’t whiff on the splash, though.
-: I don’t like Kendrick’s haircut.
?: Nice kick, but he almost landed on his head.
+++: SLICED BREAD DADDY!

YOUR WINNER VIA PINFALL: BRIAN KENDRICK

Damnit, get this man a feud on Smackdown, stat!

Commercials.

---:Gay doctor? Laaaaaaaaame.
+: Good on Eddie to “steal” the win and not let Batista get one on him.

Commercials.

MATCH 3: MEXICOOLS v. FBI

--: Why aren’t the Mexicools on Smackdown?
+: I would like a “Juan Deere,” though.
+: Nice clothesline by Vito.
+: Crazy’s dropkick.
+: Sweet rollthrough double team move by Psicosis/Crazy!
?: Nice pescado by Psicosis, but they’ve got to take more of the blow.

Commercials.

+: Nice inziguiri by Psicosis.
+: That’s how you drop an elbow.
-: For that matter, why isn’t Nunzio on Smackdown more? PUSH THE CRUSIERS!
++: “Mexicools!” chant! It’s there, it’s there!
?: Good Lord Vito is glowing. Weird.
+: Hard cheap shot by Vito.
+: Nice block by Psicosis!
++: SUPER CRAZY ES EN FUEGO!
-: Man, he almost pulled a Hayabusa on that moonsault, though.
+: Spinning DDT! That gets the win!

YOUR WINNERS VIA PINFALL: THE MEXICOOLS

Awesome match…but you’re still ugly, Psicosis.

So, with that in the books, I'd like to name a few Velocity matches that were top notch. Shane already did the ground work, but I'll kick in some that he missed.

-Chavo Guererro v. Ultimo Dragon for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship (3/20/04)

The best match Dragon ever had in the WWE.

-Rey Mysterio v. Akio v. Billy Kidman v. Nunzio for the number one contender for the Crusierweight title (4/10/04)

If this had gone 20 minutes instead of eight, it would have been awesome.

-Rey Mysterio/Ultimo Dragon/Billy Kidman v. The FBI (10/25/03)

Awesome six man tag.

-Billy Kidman v. Tajiri (5/25/02)

Sadly I never got this on tape, but it was a great 15 minute match on the very first show.

And with that, we bid Velocity on Spike adieu. Hopefully I can head over to my brother's place to watch Velocity on the web (but if you need a recap, Cubs has the hookup.)

Stay tuned for mine and Shane's recaps of IMPACT!