TNA iMPACT! 10.8.05
The ratings are in! Depending on who you believe, it looks like last week's show did a 0.8 rating, with the replay drawing 0.5 or so. So, it was basically comparable to a well rated episode of Velocity. Not the triumph they wanted, but certainly a decent starting point. But enough about last week (no really...it sucked and got progressively worse as it went on). iMPACT! is next!
-We open with clips of Team 3D making their big debut. I admit it...I marked out. I don't read spoilers, so I wasn't aware they were coming back. But now they have to wrestle, which is where my beef comes in. If they haven't spent the last year or so coming up with something...anything new, I'll be a sad panda indeed. This might well turn into the battle of the two stalest teams in the business.
Anyway, unlike my inane ranting which segues into nothing, this segues into a promo. Brother Ray says that they've made more impact than any team in the history of the business and tonight, they'll make an impact on AMW as they begin their road towards the NWA tag titles. Brother Devon merely speaks. No TESTIFYing in sight. Boo.
-Earlier in the day, Raven was once again booted from the building. Featuring him in 15 second segments with no context to a new fan is sure to get him over in the Spike era. Yeah! But I'm not bitter or anything.
Team Canada (Eric Young, Bobby Roode & A1 w/Scott D'Amore) v. 3 Live Kru (Konnan, Ron Killings & BG James) -
You'd think that after like eight years, Konnan would freshen up his shtick a bit. You'd be wrong. Of course, you'd also think that people would have stopped popping for it by now. You'd be wrong again. This all applies to James as well, by the way.
Match opens with everyone brawling. James and Roode pair off in the ring. Roode goes for a clothesline, but James ducks it and hits his jab series. Young nails him from the apron, distracting him. When he turns, Roode has another clothesline lined up and this one connects. Camera cuts to D'Amore, who has joined in on commentary. When we go back to the ring, A1 is in, pounding on James in the corner. Tag to Roode. If I'm not mistaken, the crowd is singing "O, Canada." For some reason, this perturbs the heels.
Now let's cut to the ramp, where Kip James (AKA Billy Gunn to the TNA neophytes in the audience.) is just chillin', watching the action. Unfortunately, he can see more of than we can, since the camera never shows the RING or anything. Roode gives BG a neckbreaker and gets two. They trade punches for a bit and Roode sends him into the ropes. They collide midring and I do believe we'll be getting a double tag soon. Indeed! Truth cleans house. Young sends him into the ropes, but he rebounds back with a flying forearm.
He goes for a whip of his own, but Young reverses him into the corner. Truth floats over and catches him with a heel kick. He makes the cover, but the other two members of Team Canada break it up. BG runs in, but is immediately tossed back out. Truth is chucked to the floor as well. That brings in Konnan. He hits Rolling Thunder on Young, then goes for a whip. Young reverses, but misses a corner splash. Konnan whips a shoe at him x2 (first one pretty much misses and flies into the crowd. Nice.)
Roode charges Konnan and eats a shoe as well. Ring clears. Young and Truth come back in. Truth doubles him over with a kick to the gut and follows with an axe kick (I'm assuming that it's not called the Lie Detector anymore, because that was retarded) for the win. (4:20)
Postmatch, Team Canada is all about a beatdown. Kip James charges into the ring and pretty much looks them off with a glare of supremely evil intent. Or something. He argues with Konnan as BG tries to keep them apart, because that's what they do. Weekly. For months. Glad to see it back!
Considering who was in this (and that they kept Young and Killings on the apron for most of the match), it was shockingly adequate. A backhanded compliment, perhaps, but I take what I can get these days when it comes to televised wrestling.
-Commercials
-Later, Team 3D squares off with AMW. Be there! (aloha)
-Video of the Ultimate X match. Now see, I hate this gimmick. Turns more into a stunt show than even something like TLC or the like. I don't think I'd mind it so much, except that they bust it out several times a year and it's just overdone. That said, that Styles Clash off of the cable was awesome. I don't remember ever seeing that before.
Christopher Daniels v. Austin Aries v. Matt Bentley (w/Traci Brooks) -
Traci? Hot. Bentley is Michael Shane, if you didn't know. And if you don't know Michael Shane, he's Shawn Michaels' cousin. Over/under on the number of times they drop his name is five. I take under, since I've already seen it and know the correct answer! Feel free to play along at home, though. Aries is the former ROH champion and possibly the quickest worker in the US right now. Announcers like to toss around the term explosive, but in this case it fits.
Three way crisscross sequence ends with Bentley clotheslining Aries. Daniels then dropkicks Bentley, but runs into an Aries back elbow. Armdrags for everyone, by everyone! It's just armdrag mania! Amazingly enough, this doesn't lead to a three way STAND OFF, so they get my regards. Aries ducks a double clothesline and drops both guys with a springboard back elbow. He sends Daniels into the ropes. Daniels hangs on. Aries charges and gets elevated onto the apron. He snaps Daniels throat across the top rope and follows with a slingshot corkscrew splash. Cover gets two.
Bentley is right there, catching Aries in a Northern Lights suplex for a nearfall of his own. Aries reverses a whip and goes for a slam. Bentley slips away and kicks him in the gut. *insert HBK reference here* He sets Aries up for a Hangman's neckbreaker. Daniels charges to break it up, but gets kicked in the gut. Bentley then plants them both with a simultaneous neckbreaker/Stunner! He covers Daniels, but can only get two.
He sends Daniels into the ropes and goes for a tilt-a-whirl slam. Daniels lands on his feet and scores with an STO! He covers, but Aries is there to break it up. Daniels gives him a shoulderblock to the gut. He lifts Bentley for a suplex. He manages to slip away and grab a rear waistlock. Daniels elbows free and sets up for Last Rites. Aries charges, but gets cut off. This time, we get a simultaneous inverted DDT/Complete Shot. He covers both guys, but they kick out at two.
He heads to the top rope, but Aries cuts him off. He and Bentley slam Daniels to the mat. Bentley kicks Aries in the gut. He fires right back and shortarms him into a Saito suplex. Clotheslines for everyone! He nails Daniels with a dropkick in the corner and makes the cover. Save by Bentley. He whips Aries into the corner, but ends up charging into a back elbow. It's officially Aries' favorite move, apparently.
Aries climbs onto Bentley's shoulders. Victory roll? Nope! Reverse 'rana over the top and to the floor. Whoa! Daniels climbs onto the apron. He goes for the Arabian Press, but gets nothing. He manages to land on his feet before crashing and burning, though. Bentley rolls Aries back in. He sends him into the ropes. Both guys go for a crossbody and they end up colliding in midair.
Back on the floor, Traci taunts Daniels. Petey Williams comes out to mack on her. Chris Sabin attacks him and they brawl on the floor. Somersault plancha by Bentley wipes both of them out! Aries heads up top. Daniels crotches him from behind and plants him with Angel's Wings to pick up the win. (5:41)
Good match. Last week's three way was better, but this was solid nonetheless. They should let Aries be Aries and give this fifteen minutes and then it would have rocked. But yeah...I liked it for what it was.
-Commercials
-Abyss introduction video. Zbyszko compares him to...Andre the Giant? Well, okay then. That's the most patently ridiculous thing said by someone on a wrestling program this week. Good job!
Abyss (w/James Mitchell) v. Sonny Siaki -
Your eyes didn't fool you. They did spell Siaki as "Saiki" on his entrance video. *rolls eyes* Abyss attacks immediately. Siaki ducks a clothesline and starts whaling away with strikes. Abyss shoves him away, but Siaki goes right back to it. It's having pretty much zero effect, though. Siaki bounces off the ropes, charging into a chop. He staggers into the corner. Abyss misses a splash. Siaki kicks him in the gut and goes for a whip.
Abyss reverses it and ducks his head. Siaki kicks him, then follows with a heel kick. 'Rana by Siaki. Mitchell climbs onto the apron, causing a distraction. Abyss sends him into the ropes. Siaki ducks a clothesline, but can't avoid a big boot. This time, the corner splash connects. Abyss follows with the Shock Treatment (Sit down torture rack slam), then spikes him with the Black Hole Slam to get the win. (2:17)
It was a squash. Whaddaya want me to say?
-Samoa Joe introduction video. I think everyone who read me even semi-regularly, whether it be here or on various boards, knows that Joe is my current favorite worker and all around man crush. Wait...was that necessary? I posit that if you're not a fan of Samoa Joe that you're not a fan of pro wrestling at all. Of course, I'm a stupid git who uses words like posit in a wrestling recap, so what the fuck do I know. Oh yeah...Muscle Busters galore. Bring the pain, Joe. Bring the pain.
-Commercials. They can't even play any interesting commercials for me to riff on tonight. What the hell?
-Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko are in the ring. I may be one of the only people alive who can spell Zbyszko without even having to think about it. Go me! Anyway, they announce Tito Ortiz as the special guest referee for the Jarrett/Nash title match at Bound for Glory. He comes out and doesn't say much, but still stumbles over his words and sounds pretty stupid. Unless he's reading this, in which case he's a fucking genius. There's also some janky editing here that's not helping matters.
Jarrett is out. Words, words, words...here comes Nash! They brawl for a bit. Ortiz breaks it up by choking Nash out (!) and tossing Jarrett to the side. Foreshadowing a heel turn, perhaps? Security is in to hold them apart as well. (5:42)
-Commercials. I wish there was a BK near me. I could eat a Meatnormous Omelet sammich right now. And for the record, meatnormous is a tremendous word. In other news, Spike TV's Video Game Awards show airs December 10th. Can't be as bad as last year's can it? Oh.
-Shane Douglas interviews Chris Daniels. He tells AJ Styles to pick him any three X-Division guys next week and he'll beat all of them in under fifteen minutes to warm up for the Ironman II match at Bound for Glory. Styles walks in and accepts, saying that he already knows which three guys he's going to pick.
America's Most Wanted v. Team 3D -
Brother Devon and Storm start. Storm buries a few knees into his gut and whips him into the ropes. Devon ducks a clothesline and connects with a flying tackle. He slams Storm, then follows with a legdrop. Harris runs in, but Devon catches him with a back elbow. I'm having a hell of a time typing Devon, by the way. My finger keeps slipping towards the hyphen every single time. Brother Ray comes in. Oh, this is gonna piss me off. I might just call him Bubba. Until WWE sues me, anyway. Heh. They whip Harris into Storm in the corner, then both follow with splashes. Ray tosses Harris as Devon clotheslines Storm out. (1:15)
-Commercials
Back to the match, where AMW is now in control. It's a little thing that I didn't really notice until now, but at least WWE will give us an inset that shows us how the tide was turned during the break. Makes the match a bit easier to follow. Storm tags in and AMW stomps on Ray in the corner. Devon takes offense to the doubleteam, distracting the ref. That allows Storm to slip in a low blow. Ray fires back with a series of *nasty* chops, followed by his full Nelson bomb.
Tag to Devon. He's a house afire! Or something! Hangman's neckbreaker to Storm is good for two. He flapjacks Harris, then goes for a whip on Storm. It gets reversed, sending Devon into the corner. Storm charges, but misses a splash. Devon levels him with a flying clothesline. He covers, but Harris makes the save. Ray tosses him out. On the other side of the ring, Storm is punching away at Devon in the corner.
Ray breaks it up and lifts him into an Electric Chair. Doomsday Device! Harris is in to stop the pin. Ray ducks his clothesline and Team 3D hit their backdrop suplex/neckbreaker combo. They signal for 3D! But wait! Some chick rolls into the ring and low blows Ray, causing a DQ. That was predictable. Well, other than the hot chick part. (4:46 of 8:39 aired)
Tenay helpfully informs us that it's Gail Kim, since the cameraman has no interest in getting a shot of her face. Yeah, I loves me some Gail Kim. Jarrett runs out and blasts both members of Team 3D with the NWA title belt. Devon bleeds a GUSHER and Ray doesn't do a bad job himself. AMW hits both of them with the Death Sentence and Jarrett kabongs Ray. Heels pose and we're out...
-We open with clips of Team 3D making their big debut. I admit it...I marked out. I don't read spoilers, so I wasn't aware they were coming back. But now they have to wrestle, which is where my beef comes in. If they haven't spent the last year or so coming up with something...anything new, I'll be a sad panda indeed. This might well turn into the battle of the two stalest teams in the business.
Anyway, unlike my inane ranting which segues into nothing, this segues into a promo. Brother Ray says that they've made more impact than any team in the history of the business and tonight, they'll make an impact on AMW as they begin their road towards the NWA tag titles. Brother Devon merely speaks. No TESTIFYing in sight. Boo.
-Earlier in the day, Raven was once again booted from the building. Featuring him in 15 second segments with no context to a new fan is sure to get him over in the Spike era. Yeah! But I'm not bitter or anything.
Team Canada (Eric Young, Bobby Roode & A1 w/Scott D'Amore) v. 3 Live Kru (Konnan, Ron Killings & BG James) -
You'd think that after like eight years, Konnan would freshen up his shtick a bit. You'd be wrong. Of course, you'd also think that people would have stopped popping for it by now. You'd be wrong again. This all applies to James as well, by the way.
Match opens with everyone brawling. James and Roode pair off in the ring. Roode goes for a clothesline, but James ducks it and hits his jab series. Young nails him from the apron, distracting him. When he turns, Roode has another clothesline lined up and this one connects. Camera cuts to D'Amore, who has joined in on commentary. When we go back to the ring, A1 is in, pounding on James in the corner. Tag to Roode. If I'm not mistaken, the crowd is singing "O, Canada." For some reason, this perturbs the heels.
Now let's cut to the ramp, where Kip James (AKA Billy Gunn to the TNA neophytes in the audience.) is just chillin', watching the action. Unfortunately, he can see more of than we can, since the camera never shows the RING or anything. Roode gives BG a neckbreaker and gets two. They trade punches for a bit and Roode sends him into the ropes. They collide midring and I do believe we'll be getting a double tag soon. Indeed! Truth cleans house. Young sends him into the ropes, but he rebounds back with a flying forearm.
He goes for a whip of his own, but Young reverses him into the corner. Truth floats over and catches him with a heel kick. He makes the cover, but the other two members of Team Canada break it up. BG runs in, but is immediately tossed back out. Truth is chucked to the floor as well. That brings in Konnan. He hits Rolling Thunder on Young, then goes for a whip. Young reverses, but misses a corner splash. Konnan whips a shoe at him x2 (first one pretty much misses and flies into the crowd. Nice.)
Roode charges Konnan and eats a shoe as well. Ring clears. Young and Truth come back in. Truth doubles him over with a kick to the gut and follows with an axe kick (I'm assuming that it's not called the Lie Detector anymore, because that was retarded) for the win. (4:20)
Postmatch, Team Canada is all about a beatdown. Kip James charges into the ring and pretty much looks them off with a glare of supremely evil intent. Or something. He argues with Konnan as BG tries to keep them apart, because that's what they do. Weekly. For months. Glad to see it back!
Considering who was in this (and that they kept Young and Killings on the apron for most of the match), it was shockingly adequate. A backhanded compliment, perhaps, but I take what I can get these days when it comes to televised wrestling.
-Commercials
-Later, Team 3D squares off with AMW. Be there! (aloha)
-Video of the Ultimate X match. Now see, I hate this gimmick. Turns more into a stunt show than even something like TLC or the like. I don't think I'd mind it so much, except that they bust it out several times a year and it's just overdone. That said, that Styles Clash off of the cable was awesome. I don't remember ever seeing that before.
Christopher Daniels v. Austin Aries v. Matt Bentley (w/Traci Brooks) -
Traci? Hot. Bentley is Michael Shane, if you didn't know. And if you don't know Michael Shane, he's Shawn Michaels' cousin. Over/under on the number of times they drop his name is five. I take under, since I've already seen it and know the correct answer! Feel free to play along at home, though. Aries is the former ROH champion and possibly the quickest worker in the US right now. Announcers like to toss around the term explosive, but in this case it fits.
Three way crisscross sequence ends with Bentley clotheslining Aries. Daniels then dropkicks Bentley, but runs into an Aries back elbow. Armdrags for everyone, by everyone! It's just armdrag mania! Amazingly enough, this doesn't lead to a three way STAND OFF, so they get my regards. Aries ducks a double clothesline and drops both guys with a springboard back elbow. He sends Daniels into the ropes. Daniels hangs on. Aries charges and gets elevated onto the apron. He snaps Daniels throat across the top rope and follows with a slingshot corkscrew splash. Cover gets two.
Bentley is right there, catching Aries in a Northern Lights suplex for a nearfall of his own. Aries reverses a whip and goes for a slam. Bentley slips away and kicks him in the gut. *insert HBK reference here* He sets Aries up for a Hangman's neckbreaker. Daniels charges to break it up, but gets kicked in the gut. Bentley then plants them both with a simultaneous neckbreaker/Stunner! He covers Daniels, but can only get two.
He sends Daniels into the ropes and goes for a tilt-a-whirl slam. Daniels lands on his feet and scores with an STO! He covers, but Aries is there to break it up. Daniels gives him a shoulderblock to the gut. He lifts Bentley for a suplex. He manages to slip away and grab a rear waistlock. Daniels elbows free and sets up for Last Rites. Aries charges, but gets cut off. This time, we get a simultaneous inverted DDT/Complete Shot. He covers both guys, but they kick out at two.
He heads to the top rope, but Aries cuts him off. He and Bentley slam Daniels to the mat. Bentley kicks Aries in the gut. He fires right back and shortarms him into a Saito suplex. Clotheslines for everyone! He nails Daniels with a dropkick in the corner and makes the cover. Save by Bentley. He whips Aries into the corner, but ends up charging into a back elbow. It's officially Aries' favorite move, apparently.
Aries climbs onto Bentley's shoulders. Victory roll? Nope! Reverse 'rana over the top and to the floor. Whoa! Daniels climbs onto the apron. He goes for the Arabian Press, but gets nothing. He manages to land on his feet before crashing and burning, though. Bentley rolls Aries back in. He sends him into the ropes. Both guys go for a crossbody and they end up colliding in midair.
Back on the floor, Traci taunts Daniels. Petey Williams comes out to mack on her. Chris Sabin attacks him and they brawl on the floor. Somersault plancha by Bentley wipes both of them out! Aries heads up top. Daniels crotches him from behind and plants him with Angel's Wings to pick up the win. (5:41)
Good match. Last week's three way was better, but this was solid nonetheless. They should let Aries be Aries and give this fifteen minutes and then it would have rocked. But yeah...I liked it for what it was.
-Commercials
-Abyss introduction video. Zbyszko compares him to...Andre the Giant? Well, okay then. That's the most patently ridiculous thing said by someone on a wrestling program this week. Good job!
Abyss (w/James Mitchell) v. Sonny Siaki -
Your eyes didn't fool you. They did spell Siaki as "Saiki" on his entrance video. *rolls eyes* Abyss attacks immediately. Siaki ducks a clothesline and starts whaling away with strikes. Abyss shoves him away, but Siaki goes right back to it. It's having pretty much zero effect, though. Siaki bounces off the ropes, charging into a chop. He staggers into the corner. Abyss misses a splash. Siaki kicks him in the gut and goes for a whip.
Abyss reverses it and ducks his head. Siaki kicks him, then follows with a heel kick. 'Rana by Siaki. Mitchell climbs onto the apron, causing a distraction. Abyss sends him into the ropes. Siaki ducks a clothesline, but can't avoid a big boot. This time, the corner splash connects. Abyss follows with the Shock Treatment (Sit down torture rack slam), then spikes him with the Black Hole Slam to get the win. (2:17)
It was a squash. Whaddaya want me to say?
-Samoa Joe introduction video. I think everyone who read me even semi-regularly, whether it be here or on various boards, knows that Joe is my current favorite worker and all around man crush. Wait...was that necessary? I posit that if you're not a fan of Samoa Joe that you're not a fan of pro wrestling at all. Of course, I'm a stupid git who uses words like posit in a wrestling recap, so what the fuck do I know. Oh yeah...Muscle Busters galore. Bring the pain, Joe. Bring the pain.
-Commercials. They can't even play any interesting commercials for me to riff on tonight. What the hell?
-Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko are in the ring. I may be one of the only people alive who can spell Zbyszko without even having to think about it. Go me! Anyway, they announce Tito Ortiz as the special guest referee for the Jarrett/Nash title match at Bound for Glory. He comes out and doesn't say much, but still stumbles over his words and sounds pretty stupid. Unless he's reading this, in which case he's a fucking genius. There's also some janky editing here that's not helping matters.
Jarrett is out. Words, words, words...here comes Nash! They brawl for a bit. Ortiz breaks it up by choking Nash out (!) and tossing Jarrett to the side. Foreshadowing a heel turn, perhaps? Security is in to hold them apart as well. (5:42)
-Commercials. I wish there was a BK near me. I could eat a Meatnormous Omelet sammich right now. And for the record, meatnormous is a tremendous word. In other news, Spike TV's Video Game Awards show airs December 10th. Can't be as bad as last year's can it? Oh.
-Shane Douglas interviews Chris Daniels. He tells AJ Styles to pick him any three X-Division guys next week and he'll beat all of them in under fifteen minutes to warm up for the Ironman II match at Bound for Glory. Styles walks in and accepts, saying that he already knows which three guys he's going to pick.
America's Most Wanted v. Team 3D -
Brother Devon and Storm start. Storm buries a few knees into his gut and whips him into the ropes. Devon ducks a clothesline and connects with a flying tackle. He slams Storm, then follows with a legdrop. Harris runs in, but Devon catches him with a back elbow. I'm having a hell of a time typing Devon, by the way. My finger keeps slipping towards the hyphen every single time. Brother Ray comes in. Oh, this is gonna piss me off. I might just call him Bubba. Until WWE sues me, anyway. Heh. They whip Harris into Storm in the corner, then both follow with splashes. Ray tosses Harris as Devon clotheslines Storm out. (1:15)
-Commercials
Back to the match, where AMW is now in control. It's a little thing that I didn't really notice until now, but at least WWE will give us an inset that shows us how the tide was turned during the break. Makes the match a bit easier to follow. Storm tags in and AMW stomps on Ray in the corner. Devon takes offense to the doubleteam, distracting the ref. That allows Storm to slip in a low blow. Ray fires back with a series of *nasty* chops, followed by his full Nelson bomb.
Tag to Devon. He's a house afire! Or something! Hangman's neckbreaker to Storm is good for two. He flapjacks Harris, then goes for a whip on Storm. It gets reversed, sending Devon into the corner. Storm charges, but misses a splash. Devon levels him with a flying clothesline. He covers, but Harris makes the save. Ray tosses him out. On the other side of the ring, Storm is punching away at Devon in the corner.
Ray breaks it up and lifts him into an Electric Chair. Doomsday Device! Harris is in to stop the pin. Ray ducks his clothesline and Team 3D hit their backdrop suplex/neckbreaker combo. They signal for 3D! But wait! Some chick rolls into the ring and low blows Ray, causing a DQ. That was predictable. Well, other than the hot chick part. (4:46 of 8:39 aired)
Tenay helpfully informs us that it's Gail Kim, since the cameraman has no interest in getting a shot of her face. Yeah, I loves me some Gail Kim. Jarrett runs out and blasts both members of Team 3D with the NWA title belt. Devon bleeds a GUSHER and Ray doesn't do a bad job himself. AMW hits both of them with the Death Sentence and Jarrett kabongs Ray. Heels pose and we're out...
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