Heart Punch

AGAINST: Why is JBL in the opening montage? I just noticed that. FOR: The replay of the phone booth spot from last week's street fight. FOR: Kane's got the "I'm having steak tonight" look on his face. FOR: MVP winning. FOR: Who among us isn't a sucker for a girl in Daisy Dukes? FOR: Yang's moonsault to the floor. AGAINST: Yang losing. Have Matt run in and cost Helms the match or something. AGAINST: Vickie's acting. FOR: Benoit stopping her in mid-slap. AGAINST: Ashley's hair. FOR: This match. AGAINST: Is Regal's eye bleeding? AGAINST: Is the running knee Regal's new finisher? Geez. KENNEDY. FOR: OK, the blood shower was weird. I thought Kennedy was supposed to be breaking out for a second. FOR: Finlay/Benoit! FOR: JBL: "His mother doesn't love that face." FOR: JBL on his wife (No, not like THAT. Pervs.): "I carried her like I carry you." AGAINST: That gash on Benoit's midsection from the sta...

AGAINST: Lashley in ECW (unless he wins the title, which is entirely possible) AGAINST: Boogeyman coming out first. FOR: Oh, he didn't. Never mind. FOR: JBL: "How does the Boogeyman get through customs?" AGAINST: Wait, did the match end? FOR: Chavo going off on Benoit. FOR: The Kennedy-UT recap from last week. FOR: Kennedy's promo. These dark room sit-downs he's done have all been good. FOR: Cole on Regal's hometown reception: "The problem is, out of the 15,000 fans, about half of them are booing the man." AGAINST: What's Cole insinuating? FOR: Ashley selling that shot she took. AGAINST: A running knee ends it? FOR: Nice of Lashley to drop by and thank Teddy. AGAINST: MVP smiling on his way to his imminent death. FOR: The phone booth being put to expert use. KENNEDY? AGAINST: Kane clearly ducked before the steps "hit". Bad camera angle there. FOR: Kennedy's fakeout. FOR: Helms starting this match with a dropkick...

Got a fun mix of stuff this time out. Including another MOTYC that I've yet to see. Lemme know if I should bother tracking it down. I'm real, real close to actually getting that high speed internet stuff the kids love so much, so maybe I can actually watch some of these matches I've not seen. Hate watching stuff on my PC, but I'm willing to make the occasional exception. Naomichi Marufuji v. KENTA (GHC Title match - 10.29.06) Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four This would be the MOTYC I speak of. Supposed to be a really fun, fast paced match with a few nutty spots. And rather historic, as well, as it's the first time that Misawa stuck out two juniors out there to headline a major show. Ric Flair v. Brian Pillman (WCW Saturday Night - 4.13.91) If this is the match I'm thinking of, it'll rock your world. Even if it's not, every Flair/Pillman match I've ever seen has been great. Flair was something of a mentor to Pillman in his early years and always...

-Last week, Hardcore Holly shockingly turned on Rob Van Dam. I feel like I wrote about this mere moments ago. Oh wait...I did. -Montage. -Elijah Burke is your color commentator tonight, as Tazz apparently had knee surgery this past week. Hearty get well wishes to him, brutha. Terkay is lurking in the background as well. Terkay versus Tazz would have been pretty nifty back in the day. Actually, right now, I want to see the absolute trainwreck that Terkay v. Khali would be. Ignoring Khali's complete lack of talent, it would be an interesting match to book. I just suggested a Terkay/Khali match. Whoa. -There's a table set up in the ring, all official looking. This is ECW, so that probably means that no one will go through it, since they're supposed to be the polar opposites of the rest of the business and all. Paul Heyman is out, with Big Show in tow. He has the open Elimination Chamber in hand, just waiting for Hardcore Holly's signature. The cameras cut to the back, as H...

-Redundant clips from a show I've already seen. -Opening montage that fails to open the show. Crazy talk! -Later tonight, more Elimination Chamber qualifiers. To be more specific, Test v. Tommy Dreamer and CM Punk v. Mike Knox. Speaking of that... CM Punk v. Mike Knox (w/ Kelly Kelly ) - Elim. Chamber Qualifier - Knox sends K² to the back before the match can even start. He gets all up in Punk's grill. Punk quickly rolls him up for a nearfall. Oh, you sly devil. Knox backs him into the corner and punches away at him. Punk comes right back with forearms. He sends Knox into the ropes and ducks his head. Knox kicks him, but winds up walking into a dropkick. Punk takes him over with a snapmare, then dropkicks him in the spine. That's just mean. Another series of forearms in the corner. The ref pulls Punk away, allowing Knox to yank him down by the hair. He sends Punk into the corner. Punk floats over, locking Knox in his hanging Octopus. He follows with a springboard clothesli...

-Clips of the ladder match from last week. Helpfully recapped by moi directly below this very recap. Go...read it now. I can wait. -Paul Heyman congratulates RVD for earning his title match, but points out that, while he might have the match, Heyman is still calling the shots on what type of match it'll be. In other words, Extreme Elimination Chamber, bitch! Show and RVD are in. Four others will follow... -Montage. -Later, RVD and Hardcore Holly will square off with the formidable duo of Big Show & Test. Two great tastes that taste great together. Or make you want to vomit. YMMV, as always. Kevin Thorn (w/Ariel) v. Sabu - Elim. Chamber Qualifier - Thorn stuffs Sabu's obligatory single leg attempt, nailing him with a series of forearms. He bounces off the ropes and levels Sabu with a shoulderblock. Falling headbutt misses, though. Sabu dropkicks him in the knee, then follows with a legdrop. Sabu drops an elbow and Thorn rolls onto the apron. Another low dropkick by Sabu and ...

I'm back from my sickbed. Huzzah. -Last week, shit happened. Odds are, more shit's to come this week. -Opening montagery. -RVD is out. To talk. Whoa...DUDE! He's wondering when Big Show will give him a title shot. Paul Heyman is out with an answer. If Van Dam wants a title match, he'll have to earn the contract. In a ladder match. With Show. Tonight. He turns his goon squad loose and they jump Van Dam. RVD quickly fights them off and clears the ring. Seriously, that has to be the least effective riot squad ever. -Commercials. The movie that you probably missed was Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes . Could never get into the original. But on the other hand, Lance Henriksen starred (and appears in this one as well). Also, the dude who plays Pinhead is in this one. It's all very complicated. CM Punk v. Matt Striker - What an interesting choice of tights by Striker. Tazz surmises that he walked into the Divas locker room by mistake. Big double leg takedown by Punk to start t...

FOR: Has it really been five years? AGAINST: Why's Vickie bringing a chair out here? FOR: JBL: "I didn't get a night when I retired." Cole: "Nobody liked you." AGAINST: Chavo's spelling. AGAINST: Rey not calling him on it. (and JBL doing it? WTF?) AGAINST: You're a little late, Benoit. FOR: Michelle looking back at the commentary table for a second as JBL drools on her. AGAINST: That tag almost looked accidental. FOR: The slingshot into the punch by Stevens and James. FOR: Was that an SSP off of Kendrick's back? FOR: Kendrick's smitten. Can't blame him. FOR: Long tabbing Batista as Booker's bodyguard. AGAINST: This is a Jimmy Johnson-Jerry Jones clash of egos here. FOR: JBL: "All hell's not gonna break loose... they ARE 'all hell.'" FOR: MVP: "Lead by example!" FOR: Long restarting the match. FOR: Kennedy stopping short and letting MVP rush the ring by himself. FOR: That makes sense....

AGAINST: Why's Batista coming out in his gear? AGAINST: That's not Finlay. AGAINST: Is Heyman trying to recruit Batista? FOR: ECW thumbs up? Oh, no. ECW THUMBS DOWN. FOR: Good way to finish the Tatanka heel turn there. AGAINST: MVP begging out of his match with Kane. FOR: Teddy replacing him with Kennedy. AGAINST: That Hardy/Helms video recap could've been longer. FOR: This match. AGAINST: JBL taking credit for the ratings. FOR: Matt's reversal out of the Nightmare on Helms Street. FOR: The finish. AGAINST: Who the hell are those guys? FOR: Oh, it's London and Kendrick. FOR: London: "You stole my costume!" FOR: Kendrick rendered speechless. AGAINST: That inevitable yet awkward Benoit-Vickie conversation. FOR: It's rare that Kane's one-day title reign even gets acknowledged. FOR: JBL: "Nice tie, by the way." FOR: MVP pressing down on Kennedy so Kane can't kick out. AGAINST: JBL's wrong about that - Kennedy ha...

FOR: JBL breaking out 'temerity'. AGAINST : MVP calling for time. AGAINST : A French maid outfit? FOR : JBL: "It's the Flying Nun." That even cracked Cole up. FOR : Cole: "You're in a good mood tonight." FOR: Terkay kicking Vito in the head and acting like nothing happened. AGAINST: Cole not being more specific and saying that The Marine had a Top 10 opening last week. (#7, I believe.) FOR : Matt and Helms's back and forth. FOR : Teddy's super hearing. FOR : Matt's enjoying this news way too much. AGAINST : Where'd they dig up Dave Taylor from? FOR : JBL on Scotty & Funaki: "IF they were a stock I'd short 'em." FOR : Regal and Taylor aren't exciting to watch or anything, but they're fiercely methodical and effective. FOR : Regal letting Scotty tag in before kneeing him in the head. FOR : A floatover double underhook suplex? Neat. AGAINST : Giving away an I Quit match. FOR: The pop for Rey. FOR: Ch...

I just discovered that CZW does an online show, so I figured that I might as well post them here (because the world needs more Kings of Wrestling), even if CZW in 2006 largely sucks. Haven't watched any of these so I have no idea how badly matches are clipped apart, though judging by the times of the files it looks pretty severe. Of course, as always, it's wrestling. For free. Can't beat that. Check out the other assorted stuff I dug up as well. My boredom is your entertainment... CZW Fake You! TV Online - Episode 1 (8:58) Features: Eddie Kingston v. Claudio Castagnoli Team AnDrew (Andy Sumner & Drew Gulak) v. New Jersey All-Stars (Lucky & JC Ryder) CZW Fake You! TV - Episode 2 (20:57) Features: Larry Sweeney v. LuFisto H8 Club v. Christopher Bishop & Lionel Knight CZW Fake You! TV - Episode 3 (19:47) Features: Kings of Wrestling (Chris Hero & Claudio Castagnoli) v. Tough Crazy Bastards (Necro Butcher & Toby Klein) B-Boy v. Austin Aries v. Jigsaw Necr...

K-Fed taking an FU on Raw? Quality entertainment. Steve-O forgetting to sell for friggin' Umaga (have I mentioned that Umaga is AWESOME and should be your favorite wrestler on Raw? Because it's true...) and getting the shit kicked out him because of it? Even higher quality entertainment. Raw was bringing the awesome this week. Unfortunately, Mr. Spears and Steve-O won't be on next week's show and things will go back to normal. Sadness. Actually, I'm digging the Orton/Edge team and, uh...Cryme Tyme teaches me how to relate to the black folks (and also how to spell!), so Raw does have a purpose, I guess. -Opening montage. To open the show. How fitting. -We have a super duper special double main event tonight. Big Show squares off with Rob Van Dam. Also, Sandman and Matt Striker meet in a Singapore Cane on a pole match. With Russo in TNA, I'm hoping the "on a pole" match once again becomes a staple of his booking. Because really...what else could Judy B...

FOR: Any card rearranging that gets us a Benoit match. FOR: Kennedy claiming victory, regardless of the dubious methods. AGAINST: I don't think he realizes that Long's not going to let him take the title with him if he leaves. FOR: Now who is this? FOR: Benoit! (I'm sort of ashamed of myself for not figuring it out.) FOR: JBL: "Welcome to hell." AGAINST: JBL: "Bicuspids that shine!" AGAINST: JBL's hyperbole. Did he just compare Kennedy to Jesus? FOR: This match. FOR: The match and the music still going WHILE UNDERTAKER WALKS OUT. FOR: Benoit wins! That's how you bring somebody back. FOR: Regal's robe. AGAINST: Vito adding a shrug to the ensemble. AGAINST: Shrugs in general. FOR: Cole: "You know what I mean!" JBL: "No I don't, you freak!" FOR: JBL calling for PETA. FOR: Cole: "And he hangs out in bars like that." JBL: "With YOU!" FOR: Regal's half-Nelson uranage thingy. FOR: ...

I'm in a really poor mood today. Work has been absolutely kicking my ass over the past week or so. I have no desire to do a traditional "Shane" recap, so we'll switch things up a bit this week. To something totally original. What? You think this resembles the witty stylings of one Matt Spaulding? I'm hurt. This is obviously different. I mean...really. He does for/against. I'm doing +/-. It's not even comparable. Heh. - They warn us that week's show will contain "sexually explicit material." Please. Nothing on this show will be either sexual *or* explicit. Unless you count the way that this show is pandering to the 12 year old fanbase. That's certainly explicit. + Balls Mahoney is your dealer. He even busted out the green visor. At any rate, he's suitably lecherous for this role. ? Ashley is wearing a blood stained tank top that says, "Fuck love." Does this cause me to dig her more or less? I'm honestly not sure. - The ga...

Open: new Logo: modified Stage Setup: same Butch: Aw. Cole, JBL: Hiya. SmackDown Fans: What the-- Tazz, Styles: What's up, bitches. Cursing is EXTREME! ECW Fans: What the fuck!? Girls: SQUEE! Guys: BOO! Cena: saLUTE! This is a reminder: Edge sucks. I got my bling, I got my mixed reaction, God is in his heaven-- King Booker: And the champ is here. Cena: I sure am. King Booker: ...I was referring to myself. Cena: I doth mock you! For as I entered the ring, I made it very clear. I am the franchise of RAW, and the champ is here! Big Show: Well, sure. Now. You're not British. You're not black. And I'm a movie star. King Booker: Excuse thou. I was in Ready To Rumble! Show: ... Cena: ... Show, Cena: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHA! King Booker, and a certain resident of Stamford: Awww... Cena: Shall we? Show: You really are retarded. clears ring Teddy Long, Coach, and Paul Heyman: self-promoting sound and fury signifying nothing Kane: You go to SmackDown!...

FOR: I'm something of a prophet. FOR: The "Josh introduces Helms as The Hurricane" story. FOR: The Poetry In Motion into the 619 setup. AGAINST: Nitro and Melina get a commercial? FOR: Burke's corner dropkick. FOR: Whatever... that was. FOR: Tatanka as MVP's opponent Sunday. FOR: Cole correcting JBL on Burke's unbeaten status. FOR: Regal avoiding the question and getting out of Dodge. AGAINST: JBL's outrage over the Pick Your Poison match. FOR: Booker snapping. FOR: JBL noting the 'Finlay' chant. AGAINST: Cole has yet to mention that Booker had the same choice to make and put Lashley against Batista. FOR: About time, Cole. Where was that two minutes ago? FOR: The Little Bastard producing a mouse. AGAINST: Batista needs to shave. FOR: The strength/power battle in the early going. AGAINST: Booker's going after Finlay? What? AGAINST: A Fatal Four-Way? FOR: Batista: "Can't we all just get along?" FOR: Wang's...

-Paul Heyman and Hardcore Holly watch the footage of Holly's injury last week. Despite being all bandaged up, Holly wants RVD tonight. Eh eh, says Heyman, who's worried about Holly getting injured and subsequently suing him. Holly isn't amused. He shoves Heyman into a locker and tells him that if he doesn't get the match, he'll give Heyman a reason to sue *him*. WHAM! Someone nails Holly with a chair. That someone is Test. Tonight, it'll be him who gets a piece of that RVD action. -Opening montage. Sandman & Sabu v. Matt Striker & Big Show - In a true show of dedication to one's profession, Striker actually has a pair of knee pads that MATCH his argyle sweater vest. That's so badass that I'm not even sure how to describe it. Show and Sabu start. They have the same match they've had 103 times in ECW. In other words, Show kills him. Tag Striker. Sabu reverses a corner whip and catches Striker with a springboard lag lariat on the rebound. He...