ECW on Sci-Fi (8.22.06)

Yeah, if there are people out there who read the blog but not the board, just wanted to point out that I'm going to have to kill the TNA recap. Again. For the time being, anyway. Work stuff is going to take up more time, but I hope that things will be back to normal within a few months. This recap will be unaffected, as Wednesday is my day off. So, yeah. My bad. It's a shame, as I'm really enjoying TNA lately.

-Opening montage.

-Later tonight, Sabu gets a Summerslam rematch versus Big Show. Oy. Must I really watch Show?

-We're apparently opening with an "Extreme Bikini Contest" with Torrie Wilson and Kelly Kelly. Or not, as Knox is out to keep her from showing the goods. Sandman and Dreamer are out as well. Sandman wants a mixed six person match. Right now. Heels don't seem to be down. Torrie yanks K² into the ring and it's on, I guess.

Test, Mike Knox & K² v. Tommy Dreamer, Sandman & Torrie Wilson -

Lights go out for no apparent reason. They come back on and Torrie gives K² a Stinkface. Test tags in, as does Dreamer. Test rakes his eyes and takes control. He hits a pair of backbreakers, followed by a sideslam. Cover, but Sandman makes the save. Ref is distracted, allowing a heel beatdown and illegal switch. Knox splashes Dreamer in the ropes and drops a series of elbows.

Knox tosses Dreamer out. Test hoists him into a bearhug and posts him back first. Roll back in and Knox gets a nearfall. Tag to Test. He goes foe a pumphandle slam, but Dreamer escapes and plants him with a Hangman's neckbreaker. Tag to Sandman. He cleans house for a bit, but Test jumps him.

Sandman comes back and hits a Russian legsweep. He suplexes Knox and heads up top. Somersault senton connects! Cover, but Test yanks him to the floor. He tries to post him, but Sandman slips away and shoves him into the post instead. In the ring, he sits Knox up top, but gets shoved to the mat.

Knox misses a legdrop off the second rope. Sandman makes the tag to Dreamer. He quickly comes in, spikes Knox with a wicked looking DDT (whatever else you say about ECW, Dreamer's DDT have been golden so far) and picks up the win.

Okay for what it was, I guess. Not really much to say. Seems anticlimactic to give the faces the quick and clean win here, though. If I can go a few weeks without seeing some variation of this match open the show, we'll consider it a success.

-Backstage, Heyman is worried about Show's match with Sabu. Show tells him that Sabu is out of his element because it's not Extreme Rules. He tells Heyman to relax.

-Commercials

-Matt Striker is coming to ECW. He's all about the alliteration tonight.

Kevin Thorn (w/Ariel) v. Balls Mahoney - Extreme Rules -

Thorn attacks as soon as Balls rolls in. He fires back and kicks Thorn straight in the face and hard. That'll knock a fang out. Thorn bumps to the floor. They brawl around ringside and Balls nails Thorn with Tazz's water bottle. Back in the ring, Thorn drops him with a clothesline and beats him down with his walking stick.

Balls punches his way back into the match and plants Thorn with a sitout spinebuster. Cover gets two. He rolls to the floor and grabs his chair. As he tries to climb in, Ariel grabs his leg and apparently bites him. Balls really obviously holds the chair into position and sure enough, Thorn kicks it into his face. He hits the Tower of London and gets the win

Fun brawl. Not particularly good, though. Nice to see them listen to my suggestion on using the elevated Stunner as a finish. What? You're suggesting that it wasn't my specific recaps that led to the change? You wound me...

-Commercials

-Shannon Moore lets us know that, "The System is oppressive." I hope he never, ever wrestles and instead stands in a remote corner weekly, spewing 3rd rate Orwellian crap. Fun times!

CM Punk v. Christopher W. Anderson -

That C stood for something? Who knew? Good to know that the W still has some mystery attached to it. They don't mention his "relation" to the Anderson family. That's probably for the best.

Anyway, they trade armbar reversals to start. Anderson backs him into the corner and blasts him with a stiff left hand. He rams Punk's shoulder into the corner. Charge, but Punk avoids him and locks the hanging Octopus submission in the ropes. Ref breaks it up. Punk goes for a sunset flip, but Anderson counters into a jujigatame. Punk breaks with punches.

Punk comes back, hitting his charging knee in the corner, followed by a bulldog. He bounces off the ropes, but gets planted by the Anderson spinebuster. Cover gets two. CW goes for a second, but Punk slips away. KENTA rush leads to the Uranage. He locks the Anaconda Vice and Anderson quickly taps out. Ref tries to raise the injured arm and Punk actually sells it. Huzzah to him!

Too short to really judge in any way. Punk is being portrayed as an absolute star in the making and the crowd seems to be buying into it 100%. Seriously, I couldn't be happier for him. Dude deserves it.

-Sabu tells us that Show is going down. Really...shut him up already. I know they don't care about what ECW was, but talking has really killed the Sabu mystique. At least for someone who's been watching him since '94 or so.

-They play the trailer for Marine. The world needs more mindless action movies, so I approve. And hey...Robert Patrick was a T-1000. What the hell have you done with *your* life that can match that? When you can turn your arm into a sword, call me. No, really. That's fucking awesome and you might be my new deity.

-Paul Heyman talks to an unseen person, telling him that through his entire career, he's been held down because of his, "reputation for volatility." Camera pans and goddamn...it's Bob Holly! Apparently, someone (whose name Heyman whispers to Holly) has rallied the entire locker room against Holly because he's *too* badass even for ECW! I buy it! Heyman tells him that he needs to make an impact.

Danny Doring v. Rob Van Dam -

Doring isn't even important enough to get an entrance. I agree with that sentiment! Styles tells us that Heyman is pretty much making RVD start from scratch.

He powers out of a top wristlock and rolls Doring up with a body scissors for two. Drop toehold by RVD. Doring ducks a spinkick, but can't avoid the follow through. RVD takes a bow, allowing Doring to rush in and hit Jimmy Rave's Ghana-rhea (sort of an Olympic Slam variant. I believe Nova used it in WWE as well). Cover gets two. Doring locks RVD in the STF.

Doring tries to ram him into the corner, but Van Dam blocks it and kicks him. He drops Doring with a pair of clotheslines and hits his tumbling monkey flip out of the corner. He heads up top and connects with the Ryder kick. He quickly follows up with Rolling Thunder, then hits the Five Star frogsplash to pick up the win!

Postmatch, Holly comes in. He nails RVD across the back with a chair and tries to take Doring's head off completely (he fails, sadly). He adds an Alabama Slam to RVD for good measure. How do you like him now?

-Commercials

-Rene Dupree *again* tells us that he's the most extreme athlete in ECW. Really...we get it already. At least Shannon Moore is CREEPY. What the hell do you bring to the table?

Big Show v. Sabu - ECW Title -

Before the match, we get clips of Show murderizing DX at Summerslam.

Show mauls Sabu at the start of the match, nailing a pair of hard, hard chops. He presses Sabu and drops him across the top rope gut first. Sabu bumps all the way to the floor as we go to break.

-Commercials

We see a chair and table at ringside. Show is choking Sabu in the ropes in front of them, taunting Sabu with the weapons that he can't use. That's actually a pretty nifty heel tactic, so Show gets some points from me this week. Sabu comes back punching. He bounces off the ropes, but Show levels him with a clothesline.

He lifts Sabu into a bearhug. That doesn't last too long, what with Sabu trying to gouge out his eyes and all. Show goes for a spear. Sabu moves and the ref goes down hard. Sabu takes advantage, repeatedly nailing Show with a chair. He hits the Triple Jump moonsault and follows with an Arabian Facebuster. He covers. Second ref comes in, but it's only two.

Sabu rolls to the floor, grabbing the ring bell. Ref warns him against using it, but he blasts Show and draws the DQ. Styles actually has a witty line in here, saying that they'd ring the bell, except that Sabu is currently using it to murder Show. Sabu whales on him some more and Show is busted open. He falls over the top and through the table at ringside. He's left laying in a puddle of blood (literally) as we fade out.

Wow. That shot at the end made this look like some sort of deathmatch. More kudos to Show for being a bleeder. Match itself was no great shakes, but I did enjoy it more than most of Show's lumbering matches as of late. Sabu can keep anything entertaining. I always have to wonder, though. Does he sell because that's what wrestlers do, or is he actually in absolute agony? Hard to tell sometimes...

Good show this week. I like that they're introducing new talent, as the ECW roster is definitely thin. CW Anderson has the pedigree, of course, but Striker and Holly could be interesting fits as well. Striker is the sort of cheap heel that could have thrived in the original ECW and Holly can get it done in the ring. No real complaints about either guy. And again...they seem to have big plans for Punk. This is a good thing.

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