Heart Punch

FOR : SIGN OF THE WEEK: "Vince Losing His Toup" AGAINST : Vince's head-shaving rampage. AGAINST : We're in Cleveland. How has the guy in the Roethlisberger jersey not been killed yet? AGAINST : Lashley/Kennedy again? FOR : OH. FOR : Vince grabbing the mic from Kennedy. "Because it's MY MICROPHONE!" FOR : Tables? FOR : The girl in the RGX body spray ad. AGAINST : Ashley in red. FOR: Cole bringing up the girls' blog battle on WWE.com. AGAINST: Blogger's spell-checker doesn't recognize the word "blog". AGAINST : That needs to cease. FOR : London tagging in Kendrick off the kickout. AGAINST : Is that blood on that hook? FOR: JBL on how rednecks fight. FOR : This match. AGAINST : The moonsault-followed-by-a-moonsault spot. So contrived. FOR : The Skaaland tribute. Have they done one for Bad News yet? AGAINST : WTF? A black "Money Pit"? AGAINST : Chimel introducing The Condemned trailer? FOR: The Condemned trailer. AGA...

The flurry of Heart Punch activity continues, as I bust out a Video Vault post, just so I can say that we had new content every day for a week. Because that's certainly worthy of merit, right? RIGHT? Chris Hero & Team F.I.S.T. (Icarus & Akuma) v. Mike Quackenbush & ShaneSaw (Shane Storm & Jigsaw) (CHIKARA - Return of the Son of the International Invasion of the International Invaders: 1st Stage - 8.19.06) Spreadin' the CHIKARA love! Seriously...if you can watch CHIKARA and not *love* CHIKARA, you might be dead inside. I'm about to dive into the King of Trios shows tonight, so huzzah to me. And, uh...this match is heaping helpings of awesome. Just watch it. Necro Butcher v. Roderick Strong (IWA:MS - Hurt - 3.24.06) Not as fun as most of the Necro "dream matches" that have happened over the past year. Which is odd, as you'd think Roddy would be the perfect guy to beat the shit out of Necro (because really…that's what most of these matches amo...

-So, this grand experiment (both WSX *and* me, Captain Lazy, doing six recaps in six days) is coming to an end. And what did we learn? Wrestling is more fun with explosions. A thirty minute wrestling show is better paced (and booked) than it's one hour TNA counterpart. That I have too much free time. And so it goes… -Tonight, Alkatrazz & Luke Hawx face Arik Cannon & Vic Grimes. Scorpio Sky versus 6-Pac and Jack Evans goes against the Human Tornado ! -Montage. - Styles P performs. -Clips from last week's title match. Alkatrazz & Luke Hawx v. Arik Cannon & Vic Grimes (w/Nic Grimes) - Hawx takes control over Cannon early. He ducks his head, though, and Cannon plants him with a swinging neckbreaker. They trade strikes and Cannon hits his elevated swinging neckbreaker, picking up a two count in the process. Grimes tags in. He whips Luke into the ropes, but gets taken over with a headscissors. Say what you will about Grimes, but he's certainly willing to bum...

Almost to the end of these things and I'll be damned...I've managed to finish all of these things and finish them ON TIME! What were the odds of that happening? Also, this is post #251, so that's a milestone of sorts. Or one after said milestone, at any rate. So like what...220 of them are by Matt and I? We have writers...they're just really friggin' lazy. Or, uhh...have lives or something. Whatever. Go us! -This time, only the Banderas/Vampiro title match is important enough to hype. Either that, or it goes the full show. And I'm guessing that ain't the case. -Opening montage. - Pitbull performs. -After last week's show (why do I still refer to these things as if they didn't all air in one night, anyway?), The Cartel jumped Los Pochos Guapos in the parking lot. This leads to LPG coming out and challenging The Cartel. We have ourselves a brawl, folks! We also have ourselves a referee, who decides that bells need to be rung to make this official! Los...

-Tonight, we get Matt Sydal versus Human Tornado , Arik Cannon challenges The Cartel (and he's not coming alone!) and Los Pochos Guapos square off with The Filth and the Fury. -Opening montage. - Quietdrive performs Rise From the Ashes . Ricky Banderas throws Youth Suicide onto the stage and kills the shit out of him. A roadie gets in the way and ends up being powerbombed off of the stage and through a table. Vampiro looks on. Next week, the title is on the line. -The guys from Quietdrive (who probably have names, if I cared enough to look) join in on commentary. The Cartel (w/El Jefe & Mongol ) v. Arik Cannon and… The Cartel is Delikado's new group. It's him, Lil' Cholo (mostly a SoCal worker, though he's popped in CZW in the past. Kinda gets slagged as being B-Boy lite), El Jefe (probably best known for appearing on the wrestling episode of Monster Garage ) & Mongol. Cannon's partner is "Vicious" Vic Grimes and my, has he grown. He's ...

FOR: Batista's suit. FOR: Miz as Grand Shit Disturber. FOR: Batista: "I'm just not sure if I like you." KENNEDY. AGAINST: JBL's Rant Of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. AGAINST: We missed the Fan Axxess tour. :( FOR: Kennedy's outside-in suplex. AGAINST: This Cole-JBL argument. They're not really disagreeing. FOR: JBL: "Well aren't you Nostra-damn-damus." AGAINST: Bad form on the Kenton Bomb. FOR: The ending sequence with Matt grabbing the ropes, dropping out of the steamroller and hitting the Twist of Fate to win. AGAINST: Honduras has its own champion? AGAINST: "El Grande Latte?" Didn't either JBL or Angle or both do this? AGAINST: This man does not weigh 254 pounds. FOR: JBL: "I wrestled this guy's dad!" AGAINST: How is the Overdrive a finisher? FOR: MVP dropping the history. AGAINST: MVP kicks Benoit Cole: "A right hand to Chris Benoit." FOR: I actually want to know what JBL's planni...

I've said this before, but it requires repeating…FUCK MTV! Looks like the series finale won't be airing at this point. Further, the contracts of those in WSX are set up as to not expire…until 90 days after the finale airs. Not sure of the legal implications there, but it sure is quite the dick move against a bunch of indy guys who already struggle enough to make a living. This time out, we get Scorpio Sky versus Jack Evans , DIFH v. That 70's Team and Ricky Banderas will call out WSX Champion Vampiro. -Montage. - Good Charlotte performs. They look like they'd rather be pretty much anywhere else in the world. Fitting their gimmick, Matt Sydal and Lizzy Valentine are seen rocking out at ringside. -Elsewhere, Lacey is waiting for Vampiro to arrive. I'm waiting for Jimmy Jacobs to come out and croon to Lacey. He is the "mellow" member of DIFH, after all. Scorpio Sky v. Jack Evans - They do stuff, but it's interrupting Good Charlotte joining the comment...

Two recaps in two days? Perish the thought! What are the odds that I can make it through all six shows without skipping a day? That would be nutty. -Tonight, The Filth and the Fury faces Team Dragon Gate. 6-Pac answers Human Tornado's challenge. Arik Cannon debuts versus the also debuting Delikado and Ricky Banderas SPEAKS! -Opening montage. - Jibbs performs. -Clips of the fireball angle from the last show. This leads into the Banderas promo (w/subtitles, even though he speaks decently clean English). Apparently, Vampiro is the cause of his facial scarring after he rigged Banderas' coffin to explode. What is it with Vamp and exploding coffins? He promises Vamp that his days are numbered. Team Dragon Gate v. The Filth and the Fury - Teddy Hart and Yoshino open with a quick armdrag sequence. Hart takes control, taking him down with a Russian legsweep and picking up a two count. Both guys tag. Genki tackles M-Dogg, then takes him over with a hiptoss. He charges, but gets elevated...

I decided to hold this recap until after the marathon (or, I'm lazy. YOU DECIDE!) so that I could do six recaps in six days, leading to the exciting series finale (?) of the fine Wrestling Society X programming. And I'm being totally serious with that last line, as I think they put out a very enjoyable product. As I've probably said in the past, it might be stupid fun…but it's still fun. I'll be sorry to see it go. -On tonight's show, Scorpio Sky makes his debut against Matt Sydal . Human Tornado faces El Hombre. Will someone answer Keepin' It Gangsta's open challenge? And 6-Pac is in the house! -Montagery. - Clipse perform "Wamp Wamp (What It Do?). I always thought (well actually, I never gave it much thought at all) that Clipse was one person. What do I know? And this song title is what I dredged up from my friend named Google . If it's wrong, my bad. Matt Sydal (w/Lizzy Valentine) v. Scorpio Sky - Scorp is probably best known for his work ...

FOR: JBL: "I'm surrounded by queens." AGAINST: Little early for the Twist of Fate, isn't it? FOR: Matt's suplex block/counter. With a twist. AGAINST: I'm not sure he meant to do that. FOR: Sharmell using her shoe as a weapon. AGAINST: Bad setup for the Scissors Kick. FOR: This video package of Undertaker just killing fools. AGAINST: MVP's somewhat backwards logic. FOR: Vince dancing. AGAINST: Kane's sweating like a hog. FOR: Kane doing matwork? FOR: I wonder if JBL's "whistling by the graveyard" line was intentional. On some level it probably was. FOR: JBL saying that Kane is a good test for Batista at this point. AGAINST: I doubt Taker's taking notes. FOR: The closeup on Batista's counter of Kane's flying clothesline. FOR: Batista selling the back after the Batista Bomb. AGAINST: Why is Miz sitting on the canvas when there are two chairs in the ring? FOR: Is that the old Jeritron 3000? FOR: Melina! AGAINS...

From Meltz's update today: -- Badnews Allen passed away at 5:30 a.m. this morning in Calgary at the age of 63 from a heart attack. We have no further details. Allan Coage was an Olympic bronze medal winner in judo, started wrestling in Japan and was a legendary heel in Stampede Wrestling in the early 80s. He worked later in WWE as Badnews Brown. He was a tremendous promo and very outspoken about his career and was often voted among the best guests in the history of our radio show. Another week, another legend lost. If you don't remember him, Bad News was pretty much Steve Austin a decade before "Stone Cold" meant anything. Pretty much the ultimate badass of the mid-80s WWF product. Who's going to give a Ghettoblaster to the sharecroppers now? Not too much of him on the video sites, but I'll post what I can find... Bad News Allen v. Yoshihiro Takayama (UWFi) Bad News Allen v. Gary Albright (UWFi) Bad News Allen v. Kazushi Sakuraba (UWFi) Bad News Allen v. Bret ...

AGAINST: A turtleneck, Dave? FOR: The old-school Undertaker video treatment. FOR : JBL pushing Cole's lips onto Booker's hand. AGAINST: I can't understand a word Booker's said. FOR: I'm a little surprised Christian got mentioned there. FOR: Twist of Fate off the top turnbuckle. OUCH. Sick. AGAINST : I've figured it out. Maryse spends way too much time in the tanning booth. AGAINST : They're really clipping these entrances. AGAINST : Yep, Helms has new music. And it blows. FOR: Remember when these guys were teammates? (And where is Kaz Hayashi these days?) AGAINST : Scotty shaved his goatee? FOR : Way to skin the cat, Yang. FOR : The finish. FOR : The fans booing Vince's call for silence. FOR : The Lashley-Umaga video packages, particularly Lashley jumping through the cage wall on ECW and dropping it on Umaga. FOR : 'Sup, Bobby. AGAINST : Vince is gonna regret that. FOR : It's No Holds Barred, but only for Kennedy? That's diabolica...

FOR: I'm hoping JBL takes Cole to task mercilessly for losing his voice and leaving JBL to call the main event at the PPV. AGAINST: Looks like Batista's pyro didn't go off on cue. FOR: So they're keeping him face. All right. AGAINST: Cole's still sounding a little rough. FOR: There it is. Good job, John. FOR: Cole: "I don't even think they have arenas there." FOR: Matt's bulldog/dropkick. AGAINST: What's Vickie mean by that? AGAINST: Scotty's flubbed hurricanrana. FOR: JBL: "He took time off." Cole: "He retired." FOR: This match has been surprisingly long. AGAINST: JBL's 360 OTC joke falling flat. FOR: Really? Edge has never lost at Mania? FOR: The falls are actually counting everywhere. FOR: Hey, where's the ring be... oh. AGAINST: Khali? AGAINST: Kane could've done a better job going through the barricade. FOR: JBL: "Get your ass off my show, Khali!" FOR: Booker's all ...

Instead of being bummed out over yet another wrestler who died *way* too young, let's celebrate him for what he was best at...cracking Masato Tanaka's skull and dropping people on their head. This stuff is totally random, as it's pretty much just every match of his I can find on the video sites. But it's Awesome being Awesome and, on this night, that'll have to do. RIP. "Gladiator" Mike Awesome v. Masato Tanaka (FMW - 2.18.97) Part One Part Two Mike Awesome v. Masato Tanaka (ECW: Heatwave 1998) This is still *the* Tanaka/Awesome match for me. Probably the first time most of us saw this matchup and hot damn, did it live up to the hype. Mike Awesome v. Masato Tanaka (ECW: November to Remember 1999) Great match, containing everything you love (or hate, as the case may be) about the Awesome/Tanaka series. Mike Awesome v. Masato Tanaka (ECW on TNN - 12.31.99, I think) A lot of people might consider this the best of their ECW matches. Honestly, they all sort of ...

Mike Alfonso, better known to wrestling fans around the world as Mike Awesome, has been found dead in his home of an apparent suicide. Awesome first hit it big over in Japan, and got his first American exposure in Extreme Championship Wrestling. He had several memorable matches in ECW, many of which came against Japanese star Masato Tanaka. In fact, his last WWE appearance came at the first WWE/ECW One Night Stand in a match against Tanaka. He was a two-time ECW Champion and a co-holder of the ECW Tag Team Titles. Sadly, he might be best known for leaving ECW while still holding their world title and appearing on WCW Monday Nitro on the first night of Vince Russo's "new era of WCW." This resulted in him returning to the ECW Arena and getting beaten by Taz in less than 30 seconds. Everyone at Heart Punch would like to extend their deepest sympathies and condolences to the family of Mike Alfonso.

Sorry this is late. Between the weather causing a power outage, work and having plans pop up this weekend, today is the first free time I've had to work on it since it aired. Looks like I'll have a week off, though, since stupid MTV doesn't seem to want the next episode to air. After all, why would MTV want to air something that's actually entertaining? Oh yeah...and a hearty fuck you for dropping the Friday previews. -On tonight's show, we get The Filth and the Fury (Teddy Hart & Matt "M-Dogg 20" Cross) v. The Trailer Park Boyz (Nate Webb & Josh Raymond w/Johnny Webb), Jack Evans in action and Al Katrazz/Luke Hawk v. Los Pochos Guapos (Aaron Aguilera & Kaos) in a TLC match. Tables. Ladders. Cervezas. -Intro. - Sparta performs. -Clips of last week's WSX title match lead to a Vampiro interview. Regardless of the sacrifice, the WSX Title is his destiny. -Tony & Keeley from Sparta join in on commentary. Tony seems fairly knowledgeable ab...

AGAINST: Edge's weak-ass pelvic thrust in his chyron. FOR: JBL: "What were his parents? Mr. and Mrs. Bastard?" FOR: JBL: "I don't think that's important to bring that up." AGAINST: "Weird dude?" FOR: JBL agrees with me. AGAINST: A mini-Boogeyman? This is beyond ridiculous. FOR: JBL: "Somebody make some sense of this, please!" FOR: The look on TLB's face. AGAINST: Recapping the Trump angle. FOR: Deuce and Domino going over Teddy Long's head for a tag title match. FOR: 'Crack 'Em in the Mouth'. It's apt if nothing else. AGAINST: Tonight is the FIRST edition of "At The Movies". AGAINST: See No Evil DVD sales must be really slow. I blame The Marine . AGAINST: This was so much better when Booker and Goldust did it. AGAINST: Even JBL and Cole can't sell that. FOR : Kennedy ducking Sweet Chin music. FOR : Shawn's slingshot pescado. FOR: That was unique. FOR: There's an awful...

FOR : JBL: "Miz saying he had him is like Cleveland Williams saying he had Muhammad Ali." AGAINST : Isn't it a little early in the show to be destroying the announce table? BOTH : They're doing the ladder match again? FOR : Deuce's jumping side kick that should have broken Kendrick's collarbone. FOR : Long shoving Sharmell's broken nail out of his face. FOR: JBL noting how Matt's going right for the facemask unlike earlier battles. FOR : This match. FOR : Kennedy's got a point about being overlooked. AGAINST : What, they didn't play his music? AGAINST: UNNECESSARY ZOOM FOR : Finlay headbutting Boogeyman and immediately regretting it. FOR: Daivari? AGAINST : Actually, JBL, they do have cruiserweights in boxing. The comparison fails. FOR : Cole forgetting the question. FOR : Helms getting out-cheated. AGAINST : Jillian's hair and makeup. FOR : This could be great or horrifying. FOR : Kennedy stopping to look at the WM sign. FOR : Batista...

FOR: Taker showing up at both RAW and ECW. FOR: Nick Patrick's reaction to Benoit's slap. FOR: Cole dropping some psychology on us with his explanation of Finlay's kick. FOR: This match. FOR: What's up with The Little Bastard? AGAINST: A whirlpool, Cole? FOR: Oh, all right. That actually makes sense since they both hang out under the ring at times. AGAINST: "Unsafe working conditions"? AGAINST: Why are the boys wearing surgical masks? AGAINST: I think JBL's "Sandy" thing is one of those inside jokes that only he and Cole get. AGAINST: The closest Sonic to NYC is in West Virginia, JBL. FOR: London's quick thinking with the rollup of Domino. Too bad Deuce had just tagged in. FOR: Kendrick circling the ring off the hot tag to build momentum. AGAINST: Can we get a name for that? AGAINST: The Ancient Order of Royal Houstonians? FOR: Cronkite. AGAINST: Clemens. AGAINST: Swayze. FOR: The Rockets. AGAINST: I can't see how...

So, apparently MTV has decided to do a "sneak peek" of the new WSX episodes on Friday nights. If I'm home (as I am tonight, since my plans were snowed out), you can expect to typically see these recaps up by Saturday morning. That's my goal, at any rate. -Tonight, Human Tornado debuts, facing Luke Hawx. Team Dragon Gate faces That 70s team and we crown the first WSX champion as Vampiro squares off with 6-Pac. There's also a good chance that shit will blow up. God, I love this show already. -We get an opening montage this week. Some low budget, generic animation. Who cares? -The Three-6 Mafia perform. Hell if I know what song they did. Someone more hip hopically inclined can fill in the blanks. Gotta say…the sight of these guys performing in front of a bunch of scenesters who were totally rocking out made me laugh just a little. Who knew Southern rap went over so well with the doom and gloom crowd? -Clips of the WSX Rumble from last week to establish our main even...