Heart Punch

FOR: Starting the show with Batista getting revenge. AGAINST: No-DQ? Batista and UT are screwed. FOR: Kane laughing at Boogeyman's worms. FOR: I'm with Cole on this one. JBL: "Kane has finally found someone more sadistic and more of a monster than himself." Cole: "I wouldn't say more ." JBL: "I would!" Cole: "Maybe 'just as'." FOR: JBL: "How do you prepare for a sick monster like Kane, with that goofy eye of his, and a guy who is EATING WORMS ON THE APRON?" FOR: Regal and Taylor working over Kane again. AGAINST : I was dreading this tag. FOR: Kane begging off Boogeyman's worm offer. AGAINST: What's with spending two minutes on Cherry's role with the team? FOR: Deuce covering Kendrick's shoulders with his knees. FOR: This match, surprisingly. FOR: Cole: "Do you even listen to me?" "JBL: "No." FOR: About time Benoit said something to this guy. AGAINST: Is this a...

FOR : 400 shows? Wow. FOR : Batista's new pyro. FOR: The sequence that led to Batista pushing Finlay off the top rope. AGAINST : KENNEDY? AGAINST : The sound's pretty bad tonight. AGAINST : And it's about to get worse. "Hot Red?" FOR : At least it's working. FOR : Jillian: "I wasn't done yet. Go back." AGAINST : Did we really need a replay of that? FOR : That's even the old Hardyz video. AGAINST : That Matt-Helms counter even screwed Cole up. FOR: Chavo drawing Benoit into the ring, then waving Helms in while the referee went to get Benoit out of the ring. FOR : How the hell did Benoit backdrop MVP while locking the Sharpshooter on Helms? AGAINST : Isn't it disgustingly early to be selling tickets for Survivor Series? FOR : JBL's "bird flying around with the Earth on fire" line. AGAINST : London's still down? What's the angle here? AGAINST : How utterly anticlimactic. FOR : The replay of the look on Kendrick...

AGAINST: I kind of liked having the PPVs be brand-exclusive. FOR: A Last Man Standing rematch? AGAINST: Hornswaggle's still hiding under the ring? AGAINST: Is that a Kennedy chant? FOR: That's more like it. AGAINST: What, no match? FOR: Thanks, Teddy. AGAINST: Is Michelle a face again? AGAINST: Ashley's screams of Pain and Anguish. FOR: Deuce & Domino's music is among the new greatest things ever. AGAINST: Why is Cherry power walking? FOR: JBL on London & Kendrick: "They're lunatics. But they're damn good lunatics." FOR: London breaking his 10-punch to dropkick Domino off the apron. AGAINST: Uh, what exactly happened to cause that? FOR: D&D busting into Teddy's office. FOR: Benoit's two rope breaks. FOR: The comedy of JBL saying "player haters." AGAINST: The German suplex-off-the-apron-to-the-floor tease. It's never happening. FOR: MVP's belly-to-belly overhead suplex. FOR: This match. FOR: NO...

I'm working on a recap of PWG's Battle of Los Angeles shows from 2006 but, obviously, they ain't done yet. So here's some stuff to watch to tide you over in the interim... Takashi Sasaki v. Yuko Miyamoto - Scaffold Deathmatch (Big Japan Pro Wrestling - 3.14.07) Early candidate for Match of the Year and one of the better deathmatches I've ever seen. Not a fan of the DM style at all, but I can certainly appreciate them when they're done well. This is pretty brutal, but even beyond the weapons there's a killer match at the core. Takeshi Morishima v. Homicide - ROH Title (ROH - Fifth Year Festival:Philly - 2.17.07) Whatever your thought is on the booking, it's hard to deny that Morishima is a KILLING MACHINE. I'm curious to see how this all plays out and won't really bitch about it unless it all goes south from here. Ring of Honor v. Combat Zone Wrestling - Cage of Death (ROH - Death Before Dishonor IV - 7.15.06) The big blow off for the entire ROH/C...

FOR: Jeff? AGAINST : Jeff nearly got killed on that top-rope backdrop. FOR: Jeff selling that he's not fully recovered. AGAINST: Did Finlay just turn face? FOR: I was wondering why Teddy was so willing to give Kennedy Hornswaggle in a match. FOR: Who-wha? Oh, it's Timbaland. AGAINST: "Timby?" FOR: You know this happens to him all the time. FOR: The WrestleMania video package, particularly the beginning with the spliced scenes from 3 and 23. FOR: Nice bitchslap. AGAINST: Did Miz crotch himself in the corner on purpose? FOR: JBL tries to remain unimpressed: "Yes, I've wrestled on five different continents. I've never seen that." I don't think he knows what just happened. I know I don't. FOR: Shockingly, this match. FOR: MVP hiding behind the ring and listening for the end of the match. AGAINST: Miz wins?!?!? KENNEDY. AGAINST: How is Matt already bleeding from the mouth? FOR: JBL to Cole: "I mean, you should know what it...

AGAINST : "The Biggest Interview In Sports Entertainment History?" FOR: Edge. FOR: Edge vs. Matt. AGAINST : Khali? AGAINST : Cole thinking JBL might actually be opposed to Edge's tactics. FOR : Kane ending this farce. AGAINST : What exactly are Kane's plans for that hook? AGAINST : Sonic on a Nintendo system just looks so wrong. BOTH: Did he just say ten-Diva tag? FOR: Kennedy and Finlay not breaking the grapple while rolling out of the ring. FOR: JBL: "That's a $1,000 hat." FOR: Finlay finishing the job Kennedy started on the turnbuckle pad. AGAINST: The Lepreton Bomb? FOR: JBL: "I love her." AGAINST: A spear? FOR: Cole: "Everybody laughs at me. I'm used to it." FOR: Ah, it's called the Playmaker. All right. FOR: OUCH. FOR: Jeff's rope-hang kick in the corner. AGAINST: Bad camera angle on the Whisper in the Wind. You can tell Jeff completely missed. AGAINST: Seriously, WTF is Edge's problem? FOR: Mi...

FOR : SIGN OF THE WEEK: "Vince Losing His Toup" AGAINST : Vince's head-shaving rampage. AGAINST : We're in Cleveland. How has the guy in the Roethlisberger jersey not been killed yet? AGAINST : Lashley/Kennedy again? FOR : OH. FOR : Vince grabbing the mic from Kennedy. "Because it's MY MICROPHONE!" FOR : Tables? FOR : The girl in the RGX body spray ad. AGAINST : Ashley in red. FOR: Cole bringing up the girls' blog battle on WWE.com. AGAINST: Blogger's spell-checker doesn't recognize the word "blog". AGAINST : That needs to cease. FOR : London tagging in Kendrick off the kickout. AGAINST : Is that blood on that hook? FOR: JBL on how rednecks fight. FOR : This match. AGAINST : The moonsault-followed-by-a-moonsault spot. So contrived. FOR : The Skaaland tribute. Have they done one for Bad News yet? AGAINST : WTF? A black "Money Pit"? AGAINST : Chimel introducing The Condemned trailer? FOR: The Condemned trailer. AGA...

The flurry of Heart Punch activity continues, as I bust out a Video Vault post, just so I can say that we had new content every day for a week. Because that's certainly worthy of merit, right? RIGHT? Chris Hero & Team F.I.S.T. (Icarus & Akuma) v. Mike Quackenbush & ShaneSaw (Shane Storm & Jigsaw) (CHIKARA - Return of the Son of the International Invasion of the International Invaders: 1st Stage - 8.19.06) Spreadin' the CHIKARA love! Seriously...if you can watch CHIKARA and not *love* CHIKARA, you might be dead inside. I'm about to dive into the King of Trios shows tonight, so huzzah to me. And, uh...this match is heaping helpings of awesome. Just watch it. Necro Butcher v. Roderick Strong (IWA:MS - Hurt - 3.24.06) Not as fun as most of the Necro "dream matches" that have happened over the past year. Which is odd, as you'd think Roddy would be the perfect guy to beat the shit out of Necro (because really…that's what most of these matches amo...

-So, this grand experiment (both WSX *and* me, Captain Lazy, doing six recaps in six days) is coming to an end. And what did we learn? Wrestling is more fun with explosions. A thirty minute wrestling show is better paced (and booked) than it's one hour TNA counterpart. That I have too much free time. And so it goes… -Tonight, Alkatrazz & Luke Hawx face Arik Cannon & Vic Grimes. Scorpio Sky versus 6-Pac and Jack Evans goes against the Human Tornado ! -Montage. - Styles P performs. -Clips from last week's title match. Alkatrazz & Luke Hawx v. Arik Cannon & Vic Grimes (w/Nic Grimes) - Hawx takes control over Cannon early. He ducks his head, though, and Cannon plants him with a swinging neckbreaker. They trade strikes and Cannon hits his elevated swinging neckbreaker, picking up a two count in the process. Grimes tags in. He whips Luke into the ropes, but gets taken over with a headscissors. Say what you will about Grimes, but he's certainly willing to bum...

Almost to the end of these things and I'll be damned...I've managed to finish all of these things and finish them ON TIME! What were the odds of that happening? Also, this is post #251, so that's a milestone of sorts. Or one after said milestone, at any rate. So like what...220 of them are by Matt and I? We have writers...they're just really friggin' lazy. Or, uhh...have lives or something. Whatever. Go us! -This time, only the Banderas/Vampiro title match is important enough to hype. Either that, or it goes the full show. And I'm guessing that ain't the case. -Opening montage. - Pitbull performs. -After last week's show (why do I still refer to these things as if they didn't all air in one night, anyway?), The Cartel jumped Los Pochos Guapos in the parking lot. This leads to LPG coming out and challenging The Cartel. We have ourselves a brawl, folks! We also have ourselves a referee, who decides that bells need to be rung to make this official! Los...

-Tonight, we get Matt Sydal versus Human Tornado , Arik Cannon challenges The Cartel (and he's not coming alone!) and Los Pochos Guapos square off with The Filth and the Fury. -Opening montage. - Quietdrive performs Rise From the Ashes . Ricky Banderas throws Youth Suicide onto the stage and kills the shit out of him. A roadie gets in the way and ends up being powerbombed off of the stage and through a table. Vampiro looks on. Next week, the title is on the line. -The guys from Quietdrive (who probably have names, if I cared enough to look) join in on commentary. The Cartel (w/El Jefe & Mongol ) v. Arik Cannon and… The Cartel is Delikado's new group. It's him, Lil' Cholo (mostly a SoCal worker, though he's popped in CZW in the past. Kinda gets slagged as being B-Boy lite), El Jefe (probably best known for appearing on the wrestling episode of Monster Garage ) & Mongol. Cannon's partner is "Vicious" Vic Grimes and my, has he grown. He's ...

FOR: Batista's suit. FOR: Miz as Grand Shit Disturber. FOR: Batista: "I'm just not sure if I like you." KENNEDY. AGAINST: JBL's Rant Of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. AGAINST: We missed the Fan Axxess tour. :( FOR: Kennedy's outside-in suplex. AGAINST: This Cole-JBL argument. They're not really disagreeing. FOR: JBL: "Well aren't you Nostra-damn-damus." AGAINST: Bad form on the Kenton Bomb. FOR: The ending sequence with Matt grabbing the ropes, dropping out of the steamroller and hitting the Twist of Fate to win. AGAINST: Honduras has its own champion? AGAINST: "El Grande Latte?" Didn't either JBL or Angle or both do this? AGAINST: This man does not weigh 254 pounds. FOR: JBL: "I wrestled this guy's dad!" AGAINST: How is the Overdrive a finisher? FOR: MVP dropping the history. AGAINST: MVP kicks Benoit Cole: "A right hand to Chris Benoit." FOR: I actually want to know what JBL's planni...

I've said this before, but it requires repeating…FUCK MTV! Looks like the series finale won't be airing at this point. Further, the contracts of those in WSX are set up as to not expire…until 90 days after the finale airs. Not sure of the legal implications there, but it sure is quite the dick move against a bunch of indy guys who already struggle enough to make a living. This time out, we get Scorpio Sky versus Jack Evans , DIFH v. That 70's Team and Ricky Banderas will call out WSX Champion Vampiro. -Montage. - Good Charlotte performs. They look like they'd rather be pretty much anywhere else in the world. Fitting their gimmick, Matt Sydal and Lizzy Valentine are seen rocking out at ringside. -Elsewhere, Lacey is waiting for Vampiro to arrive. I'm waiting for Jimmy Jacobs to come out and croon to Lacey. He is the "mellow" member of DIFH, after all. Scorpio Sky v. Jack Evans - They do stuff, but it's interrupting Good Charlotte joining the comment...

Two recaps in two days? Perish the thought! What are the odds that I can make it through all six shows without skipping a day? That would be nutty. -Tonight, The Filth and the Fury faces Team Dragon Gate. 6-Pac answers Human Tornado's challenge. Arik Cannon debuts versus the also debuting Delikado and Ricky Banderas SPEAKS! -Opening montage. - Jibbs performs. -Clips of the fireball angle from the last show. This leads into the Banderas promo (w/subtitles, even though he speaks decently clean English). Apparently, Vampiro is the cause of his facial scarring after he rigged Banderas' coffin to explode. What is it with Vamp and exploding coffins? He promises Vamp that his days are numbered. Team Dragon Gate v. The Filth and the Fury - Teddy Hart and Yoshino open with a quick armdrag sequence. Hart takes control, taking him down with a Russian legsweep and picking up a two count. Both guys tag. Genki tackles M-Dogg, then takes him over with a hiptoss. He charges, but gets elevated...

I decided to hold this recap until after the marathon (or, I'm lazy. YOU DECIDE!) so that I could do six recaps in six days, leading to the exciting series finale (?) of the fine Wrestling Society X programming. And I'm being totally serious with that last line, as I think they put out a very enjoyable product. As I've probably said in the past, it might be stupid fun…but it's still fun. I'll be sorry to see it go. -On tonight's show, Scorpio Sky makes his debut against Matt Sydal . Human Tornado faces El Hombre. Will someone answer Keepin' It Gangsta's open challenge? And 6-Pac is in the house! -Montagery. - Clipse perform "Wamp Wamp (What It Do?). I always thought (well actually, I never gave it much thought at all) that Clipse was one person. What do I know? And this song title is what I dredged up from my friend named Google . If it's wrong, my bad. Matt Sydal (w/Lizzy Valentine) v. Scorpio Sky - Scorp is probably best known for his work ...

FOR: JBL: "I'm surrounded by queens." AGAINST: Little early for the Twist of Fate, isn't it? FOR: Matt's suplex block/counter. With a twist. AGAINST: I'm not sure he meant to do that. FOR: Sharmell using her shoe as a weapon. AGAINST: Bad setup for the Scissors Kick. FOR: This video package of Undertaker just killing fools. AGAINST: MVP's somewhat backwards logic. FOR: Vince dancing. AGAINST: Kane's sweating like a hog. FOR: Kane doing matwork? FOR: I wonder if JBL's "whistling by the graveyard" line was intentional. On some level it probably was. FOR: JBL saying that Kane is a good test for Batista at this point. AGAINST: I doubt Taker's taking notes. FOR: The closeup on Batista's counter of Kane's flying clothesline. FOR: Batista selling the back after the Batista Bomb. AGAINST: Why is Miz sitting on the canvas when there are two chairs in the ring? FOR: Is that the old Jeritron 3000? FOR: Melina! AGAINS...

From Meltz's update today: -- Badnews Allen passed away at 5:30 a.m. this morning in Calgary at the age of 63 from a heart attack. We have no further details. Allan Coage was an Olympic bronze medal winner in judo, started wrestling in Japan and was a legendary heel in Stampede Wrestling in the early 80s. He worked later in WWE as Badnews Brown. He was a tremendous promo and very outspoken about his career and was often voted among the best guests in the history of our radio show. Another week, another legend lost. If you don't remember him, Bad News was pretty much Steve Austin a decade before "Stone Cold" meant anything. Pretty much the ultimate badass of the mid-80s WWF product. Who's going to give a Ghettoblaster to the sharecroppers now? Not too much of him on the video sites, but I'll post what I can find... Bad News Allen v. Yoshihiro Takayama (UWFi) Bad News Allen v. Gary Albright (UWFi) Bad News Allen v. Kazushi Sakuraba (UWFi) Bad News Allen v. Bret ...

AGAINST: A turtleneck, Dave? FOR: The old-school Undertaker video treatment. FOR : JBL pushing Cole's lips onto Booker's hand. AGAINST: I can't understand a word Booker's said. FOR: I'm a little surprised Christian got mentioned there. FOR: Twist of Fate off the top turnbuckle. OUCH. Sick. AGAINST : I've figured it out. Maryse spends way too much time in the tanning booth. AGAINST : They're really clipping these entrances. AGAINST : Yep, Helms has new music. And it blows. FOR: Remember when these guys were teammates? (And where is Kaz Hayashi these days?) AGAINST : Scotty shaved his goatee? FOR : Way to skin the cat, Yang. FOR : The finish. FOR : The fans booing Vince's call for silence. FOR : The Lashley-Umaga video packages, particularly Lashley jumping through the cage wall on ECW and dropping it on Umaga. FOR : 'Sup, Bobby. AGAINST : Vince is gonna regret that. FOR : It's No Holds Barred, but only for Kennedy? That's diabolica...

FOR: I'm hoping JBL takes Cole to task mercilessly for losing his voice and leaving JBL to call the main event at the PPV. AGAINST: Looks like Batista's pyro didn't go off on cue. FOR: So they're keeping him face. All right. AGAINST: Cole's still sounding a little rough. FOR: There it is. Good job, John. FOR: Cole: "I don't even think they have arenas there." FOR: Matt's bulldog/dropkick. AGAINST: What's Vickie mean by that? AGAINST: Scotty's flubbed hurricanrana. FOR: JBL: "He took time off." Cole: "He retired." FOR: This match has been surprisingly long. AGAINST: JBL's 360 OTC joke falling flat. FOR: Really? Edge has never lost at Mania? FOR: The falls are actually counting everywhere. FOR: Hey, where's the ring be... oh. AGAINST: Khali? AGAINST: Kane could've done a better job going through the barricade. FOR: JBL: "Get your ass off my show, Khali!" FOR: Booker's all ...

Instead of being bummed out over yet another wrestler who died *way* too young, let's celebrate him for what he was best at...cracking Masato Tanaka's skull and dropping people on their head. This stuff is totally random, as it's pretty much just every match of his I can find on the video sites. But it's Awesome being Awesome and, on this night, that'll have to do. RIP. "Gladiator" Mike Awesome v. Masato Tanaka (FMW - 2.18.97) Part One Part Two Mike Awesome v. Masato Tanaka (ECW: Heatwave 1998) This is still *the* Tanaka/Awesome match for me. Probably the first time most of us saw this matchup and hot damn, did it live up to the hype. Mike Awesome v. Masato Tanaka (ECW: November to Remember 1999) Great match, containing everything you love (or hate, as the case may be) about the Awesome/Tanaka series. Mike Awesome v. Masato Tanaka (ECW on TNN - 12.31.99, I think) A lot of people might consider this the best of their ECW matches. Honestly, they all sort of ...